Had a chance to (finally) see Black Widow in theatres, and oh goodness my mind wouldn't shut up after. This is the result.
Enjoy.
"Auntie Nat, look what I got," Lila says excitedly as she struggles to climb up onto Natasha's lap. Her hands are occupied with the jar she'd brought over, so the efforts at climbing up are far more clumsy than usual, leaving Nat to scramble to accommodate the movements.
"Careful, sweetie," Laura murmurs as she sees Nat wince briefly. "Auntie Nat is a little sore from work."
Lila freezes and her lip wobbles at the prospect that she'd hurt her aunt. "M'sorry," she mumbles.
"I'm okay, Lila," Nat assures her, reaching down to lift the girl onto her lap, "just need some Lila hugs and I'll be good as new again."
Lila turns so she can throw an arm around Natasha and squeeze very, very gently. Laura watches Nat's face for signs of pain, but the redhead shoots her a look of "don't you dare say a word, I'm fine" so she holds up a hand in innocence. Nat had always been stubborn that way, especially when it came to the kids. Laura can only recall one instance when she'd allowed them to keep the kids off her, and that was in the aftermath of her being shot while escorting a high priority target.
"Better?" Lila asks as she releases her hold on her aunt but shifts around on her lap so she can see Nat's face more easily. Laura smiles at her daughter's concern. It had been so incredibly sweet watching the bond between her and Nat grow and strengthen over the years.
"Sooooo much better," Nat assures her, leaning forward to bump Lila's nose with her own gently. She's rewarded with a huge grin from Lila and then Nat looks down at the jar that had been the catalyst for her coming over. "What've you got here? Ants? Bumblebees? Oh, I know, must be mosquitoes."
Lila giggles. "They're fireflies, Auntie Nat!" she exclaims loudly.
"Fireflies, huh?" Laura watches carefully and she swears she sees a strange expression flash on her friend's face before her usual smile that's reserved for the kids takes it place. "You catch those yourself?"
"Uh-huh," Lila replies and then begins to chatter on about how she'd managed to catch a few of them. Laura tunes it out in favour of watching Nat surreptitiously...or at least in a way she hopes is surreptitious. After all, with Nat it was basically impossible to observe her without her knowing.
By all accounts, other than some of the "regular bumps and bruises" and the usual post-mission fatigue, Natasha was fine. But the problem was that over the years Laura had begun to be able to read some of Nat's tells. She knows they are things she only allows herself to show here where she feels comfortable, and once upon a time Laura would have said that if Nat was letting her see the tells, she wanted them to be seen. But now that Laura had put in the time to start to decode Natasha's many stoic and neutral faces, she wonders if that is still the case. She wonders if this is something the redhead hadn't meant to show.
Today she can see Nat is sore, but that flash of an expression when Lila had begun explaining the jar of fireflies...that was new.
Eventually, after some encouragement from her aunt, Lila jumps down with the jar to release them and catch some new ones.
"Everything alright?" Laura ventures.
Nat turns to face her with a puzzled expression. "Yeah. Fine. Why?"
"Just asking," Laura replies easily with a half shrug. "Can't always trust Clint to convey information correctly," she jokes, though she's not convinced by Natasha's deflection. The woman had been quieter than usual since they'd all come outside at Lila's urging to see "something cool" that had turned out to be the fireflies.
"He is a bit of a mess that way," Nat agrees with a knowing grin.
They fall silent for a beat until Laura speaks again. "They've been really bright this year," she says while gesturing to the fireflies. "More than I can ever remember seeing." Nat just hums a noncommittal response. "They have them in Russia?"
Nat is quiet for a moment. It's not unusual for her to consider her answers carefully when it comes to her past. Laura knows more than most, perhaps second only to Clint, Phil, and maybe Nick, but she won't pretend to know much of anything about Natasha's past. "Not that I saw," Nat replies finally. "But then again, most of the time we spent outside was during winter, so…"
Laura nods, letting the implicit information contained in that reply sink in for a moment. "We had them at home growing up. Used to drive my dad crazy chasing them when I was supposed to be finishing doing chores."
Nat smiles and then reaches over to grab the beer bottle beside her and tips it back to finish the last of it.
"I'm really glad you could come visit," Laura says. "We've missed you." She pauses for a beat and then adds, "I've missed you."
Nat turns to Laura with another smile. "Yeah, it's been a bit since I was last here, huh?"
"Too long," Laura chastises.
"I know, I know. Work has been busy though."
"Not for Clint," she counters. "He's actually been home most weekends the last little while." Laura pauses as a thought occurs to her. "You've been picking off assignments meant for him again, haven't you?"
Nat shrugs. "Coulson does the assign-"
"Bullshit." Nat's eyes widen at Laura's accusation. Admittedly it was a bit unlike her to be so blunt. "Don't lie to me, Natasha," she implores.
Nat sighs as she leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees and begins to pick at the label of the beer bottle. "Cooper mentioned last time we talked that he'd been missing Clint."
Laura's heart clenches at the thought of her son confiding that fact to his aunt. "It's not up to you to-"
"But I can. And I want to," she explains, glancing at Laura before resuming her task of picking at the label as she elaborates. "I didn't have this growing up. I would have given anything to have this. They deserve to see him. To have him here."
Laura watches Nat until she looks up to meet her gaze. "That's very sweet, Nat. And it means a lot. But we knew what his career meant for him being around when we decided to have kids. I can't ask you to do that and neither can Clint."
"Good thing you didn't ask then," she murmurs as she leans back and lets her gaze drift up to look out over the field again at Cooper, Lila, and Clint who are running around while swinging their jars to catch the fireflies.
Laura sighs. "I'm sending you back with frozen meals," she declares. It's the least she can do for this kindness. "And desserts. Lots of desserts."
Laura sees a half smile curl on her friend's lips. "You are the sole reason I have to add an extra day at the gym to my week, you know that, right?"
"My mother would be so proud," Laura quips. She pauses and then ventures into territory she knows is touchy. "Nat," she says, waiting for the redhead to meet her gaze again. "Are you okay? You've been really quiet tonight."
Laura waits for the deflection. The waving off a hand to dismiss the thought. The redirection. But it doesn't come. Instead, she gets an honest answer, if a little vague. "Just- My head is full."
"Full?"
She shrugs. "Lots of memories coming up."
"Bad ones?" Laura probes gently. She knows some of the horrors Nat has experienced and what kind of trauma she's left with as a result. Memories don't usually bring her quite the same warm and fuzzy feeling they do most others. Sometimes, thankfully rarely, memories coming up means she spends most of the day in bed staring at a wall as she fights a silent war in her mind.
Nat flashes a small smile. "Not all, no."
"You wanna tell me about them?" she offers. She figures it'll be politely declined like it usually is, so when Nat pauses before she answers Laura is surprised.
"I was in the neighbourhood for this last mission," she says. Laura has learned over the years that "in the neighbourhood" means either in the same time zone or within a few hours' flight of the farmhouse. She's betting on the latter this time. "Reminded me of some stuff from when I was a kid."
That answer puzzles Laura. What about the Midwest reminded Natasha of Russia and the Red Room?
"And then the fireflies…"
Laura's brow creases into a frown. Fireflies are a trigger for a memory? Do they even have them in Russia?
"I used to know someone who liked them."
Okay, that's a bit vague… "Yeah? A friend?"
Laura knows Natasha has friends outside of Clint and SHIELD. She doesn't know anything about them, but she knows they exist, so it's not out of the realm of possibility.
"Something like that, yeah. Haven't thought about her in a long time."
"I guess you haven't seen her in a bit?"
"Not since I was a kid, no."
Laura whistles softly. "Long time."
"Yeah," Natasha replies quietly.
Laura can sense she's getting uncomfortable and opts to back off. "You need anything?"
"This," Nat says with a vague gesture to their current situation. Laura understands. Peace, simplicity, tranquility. A world removed from the horrors of her job and her past.
"Well, if that changes and you need something," Laura begins, "anything," she emphasizes, "you let me know."
Nat reaches over to squeeze Laura's hand in a burst of affection she's not used to seeing from the redhead. "I will."
Laura's not sure she believes that, but she believes it more than she has in the past, so it'll have to do.
"Actually," Nat says suddenly, "you got any good alcohol? A nightcap sounds good right about now."
Laura laughs. "There's vodka in the freezer and I think some whiskey or rye in the cabinet. What kind of friend do you think I am?"
Nat chuckles. "A very good one," she assures Laura.
Laura smiles. It's said in jest, but she knows Natasha means it as more than a punchline. "You're damn right," she replies with a smirk.
More to come, as you may have deduced from the characters tagged.
Do let me know any thoughts/comments - always cool to see what y'all think! 😊