Huge thanks to everyone for the reviews. Next update may be in a day or two. RL calls!!
Sara's cell phone rang at her side, and she pulled it off of her belt and placed it against her ear, "Sidle."
Grissom watched her in silence as her face paled, and her pace slowed. "I don't think that's such a good idea at the moment Livvie."
Tapping her on the shoulder to gain her attention, he silently mouthed that he would be in trace when she was ready. Reaching out a hand, she stopped him from moving, her eyes darting to his worriedly. "Livvie listen to me, we found the man who did this to Laura, yes…no I didn't. I will, I promise." Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes to hide the pooling tears that had collected themselves in her depths. "When you arrive, ask for me at the front desk and I'll come in with you and your husband. Okay, no you don't owe me anything; I'm just doing my job. See you in an hour, bye."
"That was the girls parents?" he asked apprehensively.
"Yeah, her mother," Sara told him quietly as she closed off her phone and returned it to her belt.
"Sara, I don't think it's such a good idea for you to be this close to them."
"They need me," she told him incredulously, "I wish I had someone to care when I…." She stopped suddenly, halting her words before she revealed too much to him. Breaking away from his eyes, she started to walk along the corridor again, leaving her unfinished sentence hanging in the air.
He watched her for a moment before he turned to follow her, knowing that there was more to Sara Sidle than she let anyone be privy to.
Catching up to her, he fell in step beside Sara. He could see the determination shining from her eyes and her lips twitching, just as it always did when she was deep in concentration.
"Hey you okay?" he asked softly, jarring her away from her musings to turn her head slowly towards him.
"Huh?" she asked, confusion in her eyes. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"
"Yes," he smiled softly, something he had been doing a lot of in the past few hours. "I asked if you are okay?"
"Oh," she whispered, averting her eyes away from him.
"So are you?" he pressed, leaning in closer to bump into her shoulder as they walked.
Sara couldn't remember how many times she had wished for him to notice her in the past 3 years. Everything had seemed to be such a distant memory now, she'd almost started to believe she was actually going crazy. What did he expect her to say? How could she tell him the question's flowing inside her mind: 'I love you, I've missed you, take me home with you and make love to me and hold me forever?' For the briefest of moments she actually could picture his reaction in her mind, and it brought a slight flush to her face. Shaking off his stunned image from her mind, she chanced a look into his eyes, "I'm fine."
Grissom took a deep defeated breath as she turned away from him again. He could feel his heart sink further into his chest with every step they took towards the Trace lab. He was so close to her now, close enough to touch her, but at the same time he had never felt so much distance between them. "Sara," he started, his voice uncertain. "I think…"
Something beeped at Sara's side, cutting through his words before he could finish. Holding it up she read the text. "Brass has brought our guy in," she told him, eyeing him cautiously before replacing the pager onto her belt. Turning away from him, she waved a hand in the air behind her. "I have to go."
"Sara?" he called, causing her to turn back towards him. "Don't start without me okay?"
Her name on his lips sounded heavenly to her ears, but she pushed those intruding thoughts away. In all of the confusion, her feelings had still managed to remain intact, their presence at times dominating her senses to the point where she could hardly breathe. Nodding slowly, she pursed her lips in her trademark Sara smirk. "Don't take too long."
"Five minutes, tops," he smiled, holding up his fingers to punctuate the words.
"Five, I got it," she grinned, releasing some of her simmering feelings into her smile, only to retrieve the wayward emotions before he had a chance to see them. Turning away from him, she went in search of Brass.
Watching her departure, Grissom suddenly felt very lost. He had to mend the damage he'd caused. He had to prove to her that he was ready to discover what his life would be like with Sara playing an integral part in it. After shift, he vowed. He would start making things right again as soon as work was over.
Sara's pace slowed as she approached Brass. He was staring in through the glass windows to the man who was sitting behind the table carefully kept under police supervision.
"Hey," she said quietly as she came to stand beside him.
"Hi Sara," he nodded, his eyes searching her pale features. "You alright?"
"Why does everyone assume I can't handle this case?" she muttered, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Hey, calm down," Brass told her, taking a step back "I'm the good guy here."
"Sorry," she sighed, her deflated emotions leaving her eyes, "I've got Laura's parents coming in soon to ID her."
"Yeah I heard," he nodded, " Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do, you know? I mean we catch the bad guys and bring them to justice, but when does the suffering end?"
"It doesn't," she whispered wistfully, her eyes drawn towards the man being held prisoner inside the small room.
Her words cast an eerie tremble to course its way through his veins. Pushing it aside, he nudged her arm." Come on, lets get this over with," he told her, heading towards the door.
"Grissom said…"
"Grissom's here," a voice spoke behind her, causing her to turn. He held up the file in his hand, as if offering her a part of himself. "We have what we need."
"We do?" she beamed, relief washing through her heart.
"You did it Sara," he told her proudly, "Your evidence and your work brought us here."
Sara's eyes met his, holding the link that bound them together. For that one piece of eternity, so many silent words passed through their eyes bringing with them a certain mutual understanding. Dragging her eyes away from his gaze, Sara turned towards Brass. "It's time."
"Yeah it is," he nodded, stepping closer to the glass barrier that held the victims murderer inside. Opening the door for her, he waited until she was ready before walking in behind her as they both entered into the room. Grissom held back for a moment, content to watch her bring the murderer under her fiery stare. She held her head high to reach above the work, and above the misery that surrounded them every day and he couldn't have ever been more proud of her than he was right now. With a smile tugging at his lips, he entered the room and moved across to take his seat beside her.
Sara watched the suspect, who sat opposite her across the table, with unwavering eyes. She could almost feel his already cracking shell of denial as she continued her silent accusations.
"So, care to tell us where you were between 10 and 12 p.m. on April 21st" Brass asked, circling around to come to a standstill beside Sara.
"I.." he started, then swallowed his words. Looking away from Sara's eyes, he lifted his own towards Brass, "I want a lawyer."
"Oh,so now you want a lawyer?" Sara asked coldly, her seething anger cutting through her voice with words that would bring any grown man to his knees. "What about Laura Jones? What does she get?"
"Who?" Clark asked, his voice sounding innocent but his eyes betraying his guilt.
"The young girl you raped and murdered," Brass told him, keeping his voice low as he spoke. "We all know you killed her."
"I don't know what you're all talking about," Clark told them, his lips turning up into a smile.
Grissom watched quietly from his place beside Sara. He knew she was angry by the way she chewed the inside of her lip, but even he had been unprepared for her next action.
"Dammit you asshole," she seethed, standing to her feet to slam her fist on the table causing all three men in the room to gasp in surprise. "She was 17. Do you hear me you bastard?! 17!"
Standing up beside her, Grissom reached out to touch her arm, "I think we should all take a break. Brass maybe now is a good time for you to call him a lawyer." Pulling on Sara's arm, he ushered her out of the doorway and into the hall.
"He did it," she groaned as soon as they were outside, "He did it and he doesn't even care." Throwing her arms in the air she started to pace the few feet between them like a caged tiger searching for its freedom. "Dammit Grissom, he's guilty."
"I know," Grissom told her, trying his best to sooth her with his voice. "We have the evidence we need to put him away for a very long time, but you need to calm down."
"Calm down?" she asked incredulously as she turned on him, her eyes blazing. "Tell that to her parents. Tell them to stop grieving and get on with it, because you might as well be saying that to me"
"That's not what I meant and you know it," he snapped, furious more with the situation than he was with anything else. Reaching out to her arms, he held her firmly to stop her pacing. "Sara.." he said softly, her name a sigh on his lips.
"I know, I know," she whispered, her voice cracking as she spoke. "I'm sorry, none of this is your fault."
Grissom had to fight the urge to pull her into his arms and hold her against him. At this moment in time all he wanted to do was to take her pain away and replace it with everything he ached to give her. He knew what she had meant by her double meaning, and although she may have succeeded in masking her pain from everyone else, he could see it clearly in her eyes.
"Want to get a coffee or something?" he asked softly, sliding his hands up her arms as he spoke. He opened his fingers, gliding along her skin until he came up to cup her face with his palms.
His touch set her aflame, and she almost gave in to the security of his arms, but instead she pulled away from him to slowly bring his hands from her face "I'm okay," she nodded.
"You sure?" he asked softly as he once again fought the urge to touch her.
Sara was suddenly struck by the tenderness in his voice and realized why she had fallen so deeply for him. Lifting her eyes to his once more, she offered him a small smile before reaching out a hand to squeeze his fingers. "I'm fine."
"Okay," he told her, his eyes lighting up with a smile as he moved back towards the door. "You ready?"
"I am," she smiled.
"No more wayward emotions?" he asked cautiously.
"Trust me?" she grinned, stepping closer towards the door, which he had started to open. Before she could move past him, he leaned in close to her ear, whispering the words that would stay with her forever.
"With my life," he said softly, then just as quickly pushed open the door and waited for her to join him. Sara's heart almost stopped beating when she heard his whispered confession, and for a moment she was torn between surrendering to her overpowering feelings for him; the same feelings that had consumed her whole for the last 3 years, or to try and push them away. No matter how many times he had hurt her, she still couldn't banish him from her heart completely. She was rapidly coming to the conclusion that she should stop fighting and enjoy the feelings while they lasted; this time tomorrow he would probably revert back to his old ways. She could enjoy his warmth while still guarding her heart. So, offering him her best Sara smile, she moved gracefully inside the room and took her place by his side.
TBC……..