Thanks as always for the reviews. Huge thanks to Marlou for beta-ing for me
Sara watched helplessly as Fred Jones clung to his wife in a desperate embrace. He had been trying so hard to be strong for her, but the intense grief had won and slithered through his battling defenses bringing himself to a near collapse. Stepping away from the lifeless body that laid before them, they held onto each other with intense grief.
Doc Robbins stepped closer towards the table and lifted the white sheet back over their daughter's body, offering them a sympathetic gaze before tuning his attention to Sara. Tearing her eyes away from the scene before her, she met his eyes with understanding and nodded briefly.
"Livvie, Fred, let's get you out of here," she told them gently as she stepped closer to the pair. "Come on, I'll see about getting you both home."
Taking a deep breath, Fred Jones stood up a little and tried to compose himself, putting up a facade for his wife to draw strength from; something she sorely needed. Nodding slightly, he turned his body to keep a comforting arm wrapped around Livvie's shoulders and held them both upright as he walked them towards the door.
"Thank you," he whispered, his voice controlled with pain, "for everything."
Sara nodded sadly, unwilling to trust her own voice. Reaching out to open the door for them, she pulled it wide for them to step through into the bright lights of the corridor. Her eyes met with Grissom's instantly, the warmth in them giving her the courage to override her torrid emotions. After the sadness that had engulfed her with this case, she had never been happier to see anyone in her life.
Stepping closer towards her, Grissom came to a stop beside her, shielding her tired body with his own. Lifting a hand, he touched her back, his reassurance offering her comfort and support, both which she gratefully accepted.
Beside him, Sara drew strength from his closeness, taking all that he offered to combat an array of a hundred different emotions bombarding her simultaneously. "Do you need a ride home?" She asked softly, her voice reaching through to Fred Jones as he continued fighting for some sort of regained control over his emotions and movements.
"We'll be fine," he whispered brokenly, his feet dragging along the floor as he tried to keep himself from falling. His wife pulled her head up beside him as if suddenly realizing where she was. "Sara?"
"I'm here," Sara told her quickly, coming around so Livvie could see her.
Breaking away from her husband, she took a shaky step towards Sara and pulled her into a powerful embrace, holding her so tight that Sara could barely breathe. "Thank you," she whispered shakily, causing sudden tears to sting Sara's eyes.
"You're welcome," Sara told her through a whisper, "If you need me, any time, please call me okay?"
Pulling away, Livvie lifted a hand to cup Sara's face gently. "I will." Stepping away, she looked over towards her husband and reached for his arm. Slowly they left the scene behind them and escaped into the Las Vegas air.
Grissom watched silently as they walked away, his eyes drifting from their retreating forms over to Sara who had stood rooted to the same spot, watching in a silent gaze. "Hey," he said softly as he took a step that would bring him closer to her.
"I'm fine," she whispered, nodding automatically, as though in a trance before turning to chance a look into his eyes. For a moment she was transfixed in his gaze, unable to break free from the blissful pull of his eyes.
"Shift's almost over," he told her, his voice shaking with uncertainty, "Are you going to be all right?"
Sara closed her eyes briefly only to open them again just as quickly. Nodding her head, she reached out a hand to glide her fingers along his arm. His warmth sank into her skin bringing his healing touch to encompass her entire soul, and in that one brief moment she could have abandoned all of her restraints and lost herself in the sanctuary of his eyes. Deep down she knew that for him, this closeness was scaring him to his very essence. She had far too much love and respect for him to create even more fear inside him with her need for his comfort. Offering him a small smile, she backed away from him, releasing her hold on his arm. "Thanks Grissom," she nodded, trying to calm her treacherous heart that refused to be kept under control. "I have to go."
Grissom's pulse rate doubled with every step that took her away from him. He longed to reach for her, to pull her against his chest and hold her tightly against him, but right now, his fear held him back as it had done so often in the past. So instead he watched her quietly walk away, her sudden loss aching inside his heart. Why couldn't he just release the fear that kept him away from her? Why was he chained to his past? He became suddenly aware of a presence beside him and he turned to see Al Robbins by his side.
"I think you may have a problem," he sighed sadly as he followed Grissom's eyes.
"I know," Grissom nodded, his heavy burden weighing him down as he turned to his friend beside him. "How did you know?"
"It's not hard to see Gil," Doc Robbins told him, "Sara's taking this case personally and she's going to burn out if she doesn't take a break soon."
"Oh," Grissom mumbled, suddenly relieved that Robbins was talking about Sara and not about him and Sara. Releasing the breath he had been holding, Grissom looked over towards the coroner. "I'll talk to her."
"What makes you think she'll listen to you?"
"She probably won't," he sighed with a slight smile, "but I have to at least try."
"Good luck," Robbins smiled, "she's a viper is that one."
"Yeah," Grissom told him, "and just as dangerous." Turning away from the man beside him, Grissom walked in the same direction that Sara had walked only moments ago. He had to find her and overcome this fear inside him. She needed him to break free of it, they both did.
Sara sat quietly on the bench in the locker room. She stared blankly out into the open space before her, her mind running over and over every piece of history she had made for herself over the years. Time and time again she revisited her strained relationship with her family and the distance she had placed between them during each year that passed. Images flooded her mind, bringing a hazy understanding of the mistakes she had made along the way. Her thoughts of the past died away, creating the path for another memory. A memory bringing the perfect image of the man who had invaded her dreams for so many years to her mind. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. How had she come to this point? Grissom had been in her heart for so long she couldn't ever remember a time when she hadn't loved him. Even now, even after his rejection and his avoidance over the last year, she still loved him, more than ever.
Groaning in frustration, she sank forward, elbows on knees, dropping her head into her hands. This whole situation was hopeless. He may never share the same feelings as she did, and she would have wasted half of her life being in love with someone who didn't love her back. Had it been worth it? When his smile crept into her mind, and the closeness they had once shared encompassed her soul, she realized that she would have gladly endured the torture he'd inflicted upon her heart time and time again. She loved him, it was that simple. She couldn't stop it and she couldn't erase it, even if she had wanted to. With a heavy sigh, she stood up from the bench and pulled open her locker door to pull out her jacket. Today was just one more day to add to all the others so she would just have to deal with it and move on. She always did.
Pulling on her jacket, she moved over towards the door and pushed it open only to come face to face with Gil Grissom. "Oh," she gasped, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."
"I wanted to catch you before you left," his whole body had started to shake and he hoped she couldn't hear the tremble in his voice.
"What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly all business as she made a move to pull off her jacket. "You need me on another case?"
"No, no, nothing like that," his voice sounded foreign to his own ears and for a frightening moment he almost turned tail and bolted from the room, but her eyes held his with their beautiful intoxication. "I was wondering, well, hoping," he stopped took a deep breath and started again. "Would you like to go somewhere for a coffee or something? You know to talk…about…"
Sara could see his obvious discomfort and took a chance to end his fear. Stepping closer, she lifted a hand to his face, stilling his words into submission as his eyes fluttered closed to lose himself in her touch. "Thank you," she whispered, "I know you're worried that I'm too involved, but you really don't have to be. I'm fine, really."
"Sara," he whispered, his voice catching in his throat as he fought to calm his heart. Taking a step away from her, he needed to supply his lungs with some dire needed air and calm his senses before he lost his nerve completely.
"Sorry," she said softly, misunderstanding his movements and dropped her hand from his face, "I…"
"No, not this time," he whispered, taking a step closer. "We need to talk, but not here."
"I don't know if I can," she told him, sadly knowing that if she got her hopes up too high they would surely be crushed again and added to the collection she had collected over the years. "Can we take a rain check?"
"I…sure," he nodded, his disappointment shining through from his eyes. Moving aside, he watched her slowly slide between him and the door only to stop before she had disappeared entirely.
"I'll see you tonight," she told him quietly as she ignored her body's reaction to his closeness.
"Yeah," he nodded, "you get some rest."
"I…" stopping dead in her tracks, she offered him one last smile, "I'll see you later." Turning away from him completely, she walked away leaving him to stare after her.
TBC………..