The Fellowship of the Weed
Introduction : This parody off of The Fellowship of the Rings (the movie version) was inspired by Saruman's line to Gandalf, "Your love of the half-lings' leaf has clearly clouded your mind." In other words, "You smoke so much of that Hobbit Weed that you're not even a match for Harry Potter anymore." And that's saying something. I always knew that Saruman was a smart guy. I mean, he beat Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Yoda in a lightsaber battle! A very powerful wizard, indeed. Anyways, here's the story.
Fooled you. Here's something to skip - it's called a disclaimer. I'm not Tolkein or whatever company it is that made the movie based off his book. Edit : It's New Line Cinema. I had to go to the official site for that (which, I noted, didn't have Frodo on the main page), which is at lordoftherings.net. It's a happy place. Anyways, so none of these characters are mine, and neither are the places and other things. Like the ring, which is not in this story. Er, I mean - uh, whoops. Anyways, the point I'm trying to get to is… this parody is based off the movie which if based off the book - neither are mine or created by me. Last thing - Deep Space Nine rules. Now read the story.
Chapter One : Concerning Hobbit Weed
A lone old gray wizard in a rickety horse-drawn carriage was looming down Shire Trail, heading for the Shire. The old gray wizard (the one in the rickety horse-drawn carriage) was muttering some ancient tale about some battle or war or fight or ambush or conflict or strife or struggle or engagement as the smoke from his pipe blinded him from all the luscious scenery of the Shire. Meanwhile, a hobbit was sitting down under a tree reading a book. That was from way left field. Anyways, this very wealthy little half-ling got up and saw this lone old gray wizard approaching...
"You're late," the rich hobbit complained.
"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins," the wizard muttered as smoke floated into the hobbit's face, "nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." The two began laughing in a foolish manner over this cheesy attempt at a joke.
"It's wonderful to see you again Gandalf!" Frodo exclaimed as he jumped into the rickety horse-drawn carriage.
"Give me some Hobbit Weed," the wizard mumbled sternly to the overly-enthusiastic hobbit. "I said Hobbit Weed. Hobbit Weed. Give me all your Hobbit Weed. Hobbit Weed."
"Is that an Elvish song, dear Gandalf?" Frodo asked earnestly with his British accent.
"No you stupid midget. Give me Hobbit Weed," Gandalf replied.
"I'm afraid I do not have any with me. I'm sure -" Frodo began.
"Quite odd for a hobbit. No weed. What next? No ale?!? Surely you are making fun. Now hand over that Hobbit Weed, Frodo Baggins!" Gandalf groaned.
"I don't have any with me. Now, tell me everything about the world!" Frodo exclaimed, trying to change the subject.
"Why would you want to talk about the outside world? There's no Hobbit Weed there," Gandalf replied. By now the two simpletons reached the denser part of the Shire, filled with town-hobbits who did not farm like the farm-hobbits outside of the denser part of the Shire did. A specifically ugly old hobbit gave Gandalf an evil stare as the sunshine glimmered a dark glow in his two devilish eyes as lightning stroke above his house and hundreds of echoing treacherous laughs rang loudly through the pitch black skies above him. A few moments later, the rickety horse-drawn carriage passed by and galloped into the sunshine. Yes, our friends have passed their first peril successfully. Anyways, a bunch of tiny hobbit-kids ran up to Gandalf's rickety horse-drawn carriage and began bawling their heads off, whining for fireworks. They should've read the bumper sticker on the back of Gandalf's rickety horse-drawn carriage, which reads "Fireworks for Hobbit Weed." Gandalf, being so generous, decided to give the children a sample of his fireworks show. Directly behind the rickety horse-drawn carriage, several small fireworks went off, spelling the words "Bring Me Hobbit Weed" in the air. The kids cheered at the sight, and ran off to their homes to bring the wizard their secret stashes of Hobbit Weed.
Introduction : This parody off of The Fellowship of the Rings (the movie version) was inspired by Saruman's line to Gandalf, "Your love of the half-lings' leaf has clearly clouded your mind." In other words, "You smoke so much of that Hobbit Weed that you're not even a match for Harry Potter anymore." And that's saying something. I always knew that Saruman was a smart guy. I mean, he beat Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Yoda in a lightsaber battle! A very powerful wizard, indeed. Anyways, here's the story.
Fooled you. Here's something to skip - it's called a disclaimer. I'm not Tolkein or whatever company it is that made the movie based off his book. Edit : It's New Line Cinema. I had to go to the official site for that (which, I noted, didn't have Frodo on the main page), which is at lordoftherings.net. It's a happy place. Anyways, so none of these characters are mine, and neither are the places and other things. Like the ring, which is not in this story. Er, I mean - uh, whoops. Anyways, the point I'm trying to get to is… this parody is based off the movie which if based off the book - neither are mine or created by me. Last thing - Deep Space Nine rules. Now read the story.
Chapter One : Concerning Hobbit Weed
A lone old gray wizard in a rickety horse-drawn carriage was looming down Shire Trail, heading for the Shire. The old gray wizard (the one in the rickety horse-drawn carriage) was muttering some ancient tale about some battle or war or fight or ambush or conflict or strife or struggle or engagement as the smoke from his pipe blinded him from all the luscious scenery of the Shire. Meanwhile, a hobbit was sitting down under a tree reading a book. That was from way left field. Anyways, this very wealthy little half-ling got up and saw this lone old gray wizard approaching...
"You're late," the rich hobbit complained.
"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins," the wizard muttered as smoke floated into the hobbit's face, "nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." The two began laughing in a foolish manner over this cheesy attempt at a joke.
"It's wonderful to see you again Gandalf!" Frodo exclaimed as he jumped into the rickety horse-drawn carriage.
"Give me some Hobbit Weed," the wizard mumbled sternly to the overly-enthusiastic hobbit. "I said Hobbit Weed. Hobbit Weed. Give me all your Hobbit Weed. Hobbit Weed."
"Is that an Elvish song, dear Gandalf?" Frodo asked earnestly with his British accent.
"No you stupid midget. Give me Hobbit Weed," Gandalf replied.
"I'm afraid I do not have any with me. I'm sure -" Frodo began.
"Quite odd for a hobbit. No weed. What next? No ale?!? Surely you are making fun. Now hand over that Hobbit Weed, Frodo Baggins!" Gandalf groaned.
"I don't have any with me. Now, tell me everything about the world!" Frodo exclaimed, trying to change the subject.
"Why would you want to talk about the outside world? There's no Hobbit Weed there," Gandalf replied. By now the two simpletons reached the denser part of the Shire, filled with town-hobbits who did not farm like the farm-hobbits outside of the denser part of the Shire did. A specifically ugly old hobbit gave Gandalf an evil stare as the sunshine glimmered a dark glow in his two devilish eyes as lightning stroke above his house and hundreds of echoing treacherous laughs rang loudly through the pitch black skies above him. A few moments later, the rickety horse-drawn carriage passed by and galloped into the sunshine. Yes, our friends have passed their first peril successfully. Anyways, a bunch of tiny hobbit-kids ran up to Gandalf's rickety horse-drawn carriage and began bawling their heads off, whining for fireworks. They should've read the bumper sticker on the back of Gandalf's rickety horse-drawn carriage, which reads "Fireworks for Hobbit Weed." Gandalf, being so generous, decided to give the children a sample of his fireworks show. Directly behind the rickety horse-drawn carriage, several small fireworks went off, spelling the words "Bring Me Hobbit Weed" in the air. The kids cheered at the sight, and ran off to their homes to bring the wizard their secret stashes of Hobbit Weed.