Chapter Nine : Adventure Can Only Begin With "Ad"
Well what do you know? Those Orange Riders mistakened the four hobbits for sacks of potatoes! They wouldn't of made such a silly mistake if they had...
Philsten Signature Binoculars! "A world in view for only a few!*"
(* - thousand dollars)
Now back to the movie...
"Who are they?" Frodo asked, referring to the Orange Riders who were nuking the building across from them.
"They were once dump-cleaners. Great kings of dump-cleaners. They will
never stop hunting you," Stepper explained briefly.
"I'm hungry," Pippin stated.
The next day, they set off.
"Where are you taking us?" Frodo asked.
"Into the wild," Stepper replied.
"Wow, that's descriptive, genius. Don't get so detailed. We get the idea already," Merry commented.
"I'm hungry," Pippin stated.
"Shut up already," Stepper said. Pippin didn't take the hint.
"I want to eat something," Pippin added. Stepper didn't take the hint.
"THEN GO PLANT SOMETHING!" Stepper yelled. Pippin didn't take the hint.
"It's time for another breakfast," Pippin explained. Stepper didn't take the hint.
"Just silence yourself, you gluttunous fool," Stepper held his temper. Pippin didn't take the hint.
"We had one, yes. What about second breakfast?" Pippin asked. Stepper finally got the hint, and threw Pippin an apple core to ridicule the little hobbit. Pippin blew a gasket. Pippins eyes turned blood red. He let out a deafening roar, heard across all of In-Between-Earth. Tens of thousands of trees and great buildings of ages long ago that have been sung about countless times were destroyed in the terrible yell. Pippin then began sinking his teeth into Stepper's left arm, eating the arm down to the bone. Stepper's yells of pain could not be heard above Pippin's astounding racket, however. After a minute the historical incident ended, forever to be remembered in this now well-known piece of music:
Never outrage a hobbit
They got a lot of... angerobbit
When they want their... foodobit
They have to eat a lot of it. Obbit.
The small one, the star of the show
Pippin's the one you surely know
He ate Stepper's arm
I wonder how it tasted...
I live on a farm.
The song is too short
It's too easy to remember
So I'll add a bunch more stuff
That nobody understands
Across the lands
And stuff.
Boon of Jenga, Lord of Vectors
Churro to the unhappy crew
In a midsummer's mooncast snowy afternoon
Confused, you are
And so on
Now pay me some money - that was a good song.
The song is now critically-acclaimed, stated to be "a true classic," and is now read and studied vigorously in tens of thousands of Literature classes, where students try to show the literary value of various lines and their symbolic meaning when compared to past works of poetry.
Back to Pippin and the others...
"I am on nobody's side, since nobody is on my side," the old tree explained.
Eh... that's a little early.
"We can camp up on this cliff-side road tonight," Stepper said.
That's about better.
Frodo woke up in the middle of his sleeping.
"What are you doing?" he asked the other three hobbits.
"Sausages, tomatoes, nice crispy bacon," Merry said.
"We saved some for you, Mr. Underhill," Sam added.
"Finally, you hobbits do something right for a change," Frodo grinned. A few minutes later, the Orange Riders peddled in, and joined the four hobbits in a nice midnight snack.
"Excellent sausage, grand hobbits," one Orange rider complimented.
"Yes indeed. It would have been a shame if ash got on these tomatoes," another added. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their meal. It seemed nothing could go wrong.
Suddenly, Stepper ran in and began firing his massive flamethrower at all the Orange Riders, making them run away without even letting them finish the rest of their bacon. In the panic, some ash... landed... on Pippin's tomato.
"Oh that's nice! ASH ON MY TOMATOES!" Pippin shrieked. He then ate the tomato, claiming it to be the best he had ever tasted.
Well what do you know? Those Orange Riders mistakened the four hobbits for sacks of potatoes! They wouldn't of made such a silly mistake if they had...
Philsten Signature Binoculars! "A world in view for only a few!*"
(* - thousand dollars)
Now back to the movie...
"Who are they?" Frodo asked, referring to the Orange Riders who were nuking the building across from them.
"They were once dump-cleaners. Great kings of dump-cleaners. They will
never stop hunting you," Stepper explained briefly.
"I'm hungry," Pippin stated.
The next day, they set off.
"Where are you taking us?" Frodo asked.
"Into the wild," Stepper replied.
"Wow, that's descriptive, genius. Don't get so detailed. We get the idea already," Merry commented.
"I'm hungry," Pippin stated.
"Shut up already," Stepper said. Pippin didn't take the hint.
"I want to eat something," Pippin added. Stepper didn't take the hint.
"THEN GO PLANT SOMETHING!" Stepper yelled. Pippin didn't take the hint.
"It's time for another breakfast," Pippin explained. Stepper didn't take the hint.
"Just silence yourself, you gluttunous fool," Stepper held his temper. Pippin didn't take the hint.
"We had one, yes. What about second breakfast?" Pippin asked. Stepper finally got the hint, and threw Pippin an apple core to ridicule the little hobbit. Pippin blew a gasket. Pippins eyes turned blood red. He let out a deafening roar, heard across all of In-Between-Earth. Tens of thousands of trees and great buildings of ages long ago that have been sung about countless times were destroyed in the terrible yell. Pippin then began sinking his teeth into Stepper's left arm, eating the arm down to the bone. Stepper's yells of pain could not be heard above Pippin's astounding racket, however. After a minute the historical incident ended, forever to be remembered in this now well-known piece of music:
Never outrage a hobbit
They got a lot of... angerobbit
When they want their... foodobit
They have to eat a lot of it. Obbit.
The small one, the star of the show
Pippin's the one you surely know
He ate Stepper's arm
I wonder how it tasted...
I live on a farm.
The song is too short
It's too easy to remember
So I'll add a bunch more stuff
That nobody understands
Across the lands
And stuff.
Boon of Jenga, Lord of Vectors
Churro to the unhappy crew
In a midsummer's mooncast snowy afternoon
Confused, you are
And so on
Now pay me some money - that was a good song.
The song is now critically-acclaimed, stated to be "a true classic," and is now read and studied vigorously in tens of thousands of Literature classes, where students try to show the literary value of various lines and their symbolic meaning when compared to past works of poetry.
Back to Pippin and the others...
"I am on nobody's side, since nobody is on my side," the old tree explained.
Eh... that's a little early.
"We can camp up on this cliff-side road tonight," Stepper said.
That's about better.
Frodo woke up in the middle of his sleeping.
"What are you doing?" he asked the other three hobbits.
"Sausages, tomatoes, nice crispy bacon," Merry said.
"We saved some for you, Mr. Underhill," Sam added.
"Finally, you hobbits do something right for a change," Frodo grinned. A few minutes later, the Orange Riders peddled in, and joined the four hobbits in a nice midnight snack.
"Excellent sausage, grand hobbits," one Orange rider complimented.
"Yes indeed. It would have been a shame if ash got on these tomatoes," another added. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their meal. It seemed nothing could go wrong.
Suddenly, Stepper ran in and began firing his massive flamethrower at all the Orange Riders, making them run away without even letting them finish the rest of their bacon. In the panic, some ash... landed... on Pippin's tomato.
"Oh that's nice! ASH ON MY TOMATOES!" Pippin shrieked. He then ate the tomato, claiming it to be the best he had ever tasted.