Fast As I Can
The Dude Slayer
Being lost was something Ryoga had long ago gotten accustomed to. Today
would be no exception.
The air was cool with a sting of frigidity in the wind. The gentle smells of
the ocean drifted across with the winds. Ryoga could smell fish, not only in the
air but also on himself, that tends to happen when you work at a fish market.
Ryoga pulled the straps tighter on his backpack as he trudged through the
light fall afternoon. He'd been up since dawn gutting fish at the docks for a
paycheck that would allow him to purchase food and supplies to continue his
journey. Sometime in the past week Ryoga had found himself on the Canadian island
of Newfoundland.
The young man cursed to be a pig wandered aimlessly as he attempted to
remember where he'd camped the night before. To no avail. A chill wind brushed
past Ryoga causing him to look up as he rubbed his hands over his arms trying to
warm them.
A quick flash of neon flicked off to Ryoga's right causing him to turn. The
flickering light had come from a sign for a karaoke bar. With little else to do
and no real destination Ryoga entered the bar.
The room was dimly lit with a slightly smoky haze to it. Not nearly the
worst place Ryoga'd ever seen but not nearly the nicest either. Silently the
martial artist crossed the room to a table against one of the walls to watch the
performers. From the screeching of the tone-deaf harpy currently in command of the
microphone Ryoga quickly reconsidered his choice of establishments. The raging
guitar solo came to an end and the drunken woman left the stage, to the delight of
every person in the building.
Ryoga dropped his pack on the floor before falling into his chair.
Listlessly the young man's head fell forward, landing on his crossed arms lying
atop the table. Silently the Lost Boy stayed in this position for as long as he
could, just glad to be off his feet. Ryoga's peace, as always, was short lived.
A waitress in tight leather pants and a halter-top stepped upto the table and
knocked lightly upon the fake wood. "What'll it be, sailor?"
Ryoga looked up at the woman with a slightly confused look in his eyes. He
understood that the woman was speaking English, a language he'd learned quickly in
his travels, but her accent confused him slightly. With a slight blush Ryoga
responded quietly, "Water."
The waitress gave a skeptical shrug before heading back to the bar.
Ryoga had been sitting in the dark corner by himself for the last few hours
listening to people singing songs that they had no right singing. Every time a new
person walked upto the mic Ryoga was quickly reminded of his Bakusai Tenketsu
training, which seemed infinitesimally LESS painful. Fed up with the horrible
singing Ryoga walked upto the stage and literally booted the person from the
spotlight.
The cursed teen sighed happily with himself as he grabbed the microphone
before it hit the floor. Ryoga's shocking action caused a general uproar with the
patrons, who were happy to finally have some quiet after untold tone-deaf amateurs.
Not quite sure what to do Ryoga blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.
Casually the martial artist looked to the teleprompter to see what atrocious song
would next cross the paths of these patrons.
A gentle guitar strummed as the first words crossed the monitor. Ryoga
quickly caught step and sang along as the words scrolled by. The Lost Boy's
slightly deep tenor voice resounded off the walls as he sung the gentle melody.
"From the first hello you gave to me
I've done nothing else but smile
And I know you're in a hurry
but it's gonna take a while.
So forgive me if we go slow,
but there's something I think you should know..."
Images of Akane and P-chan flashed across Ryoga's mind's eye as he sang.
"I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
Ryoga remembered all the nights he'd spent in Akane's loving arms, not as a
warrior, but as a pet.
A slide whistle joined the other instruments as the song continued.
"Don't push me in too deep,
I've always been the fool who rushes in.
You've got to take the pieces one-by-one
before you've got everything.
So forgive me if we go slow,
but there's something I think you should know..."
Ryoga thought back to the "Cave of Lost Love" and other ventures where Ukyo
had required his help in their fool hardy attempts to destroy Ranma and Akane.
"I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
Suddenly Akari's pretty smiling face crossed Ryoga's vision, but only for a
second. The kawaii young woman was quickly pushed from the forefront of Ryoga's
thoughts.
The whistle returned to the forefront of the music, easily filling the gaps
and breaks of the song.
"Oh! There'll be times when I'm mistaken
there'll be times when we're gonna fight
but you needn't doubt we can work it out
and in time we'll make it right.
So forgive me if we go slow,
but there's something I think you should know..."
The smell of okonomiyaki struck Ryoga's nostrils. It was a familiar and
welcome smell. Ryoga knew of only one person alive that could make such a simple
thing as okonomiyaki smell like a gourmet meal. Unfortunately when Ryoga opened
his eyes to read the next piece of the song the faint smell of okonomiyaki was
replaced by the pungent stench of dead fish.
"I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
Scenes of Ryoga being yelled at by Ukyo filled Ryoga's mind's eye. The
strange rescue attempt on Toma's island, the Cave, odd times at Ucchan's, and
countless other times. Ukyo's smiling face looked up into Ryoga's similarly
smiling face as he held her close.
One final time the slide whistle returned to the song. And once more the
young singer was lost to the song. A few stray tears began to form at the corners
of Ryoga's eyes as something dawned on him. It was something that had seemed to be
staring him in the face for a long time, but he refused to see it.
"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A giant white beam of energy flared out from Ryoga as the song ended. The
ceiling around the blast's escape route fell in upon the young martial artist. A
rather large support beam was jarred loose and landed upon Ryoga's head. The Lost
Boy was knocked unconscious.
Ukyo sneezed gently behind the grill at Ucchan's. "I hope I'm not getting
sick." A slightly goofy grin tweaked at the corners of Ukyo's gentle face as she
thought of a worried and caring Ranma sitting by her side, holding her hand, and
nursing her back to health.
This was written in the course of an hour while listening to my Great Big Sea
CD, over and over. The song Ryoga sings is "Fast As I Can" by Great Big Sea, and
is being used without permission. GBS is a great Canadian band, for more info go
to http://www.greatbigsea.com/
All characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi, and they too are being used
without permission. Please don't sue me. I'm too broke to afford a bottle of Jolt
Cola, how could I afford court costs?
The Dude Slayer
Being lost was something Ryoga had long ago gotten accustomed to. Today
would be no exception.
The air was cool with a sting of frigidity in the wind. The gentle smells of
the ocean drifted across with the winds. Ryoga could smell fish, not only in the
air but also on himself, that tends to happen when you work at a fish market.
Ryoga pulled the straps tighter on his backpack as he trudged through the
light fall afternoon. He'd been up since dawn gutting fish at the docks for a
paycheck that would allow him to purchase food and supplies to continue his
journey. Sometime in the past week Ryoga had found himself on the Canadian island
of Newfoundland.
The young man cursed to be a pig wandered aimlessly as he attempted to
remember where he'd camped the night before. To no avail. A chill wind brushed
past Ryoga causing him to look up as he rubbed his hands over his arms trying to
warm them.
A quick flash of neon flicked off to Ryoga's right causing him to turn. The
flickering light had come from a sign for a karaoke bar. With little else to do
and no real destination Ryoga entered the bar.
The room was dimly lit with a slightly smoky haze to it. Not nearly the
worst place Ryoga'd ever seen but not nearly the nicest either. Silently the
martial artist crossed the room to a table against one of the walls to watch the
performers. From the screeching of the tone-deaf harpy currently in command of the
microphone Ryoga quickly reconsidered his choice of establishments. The raging
guitar solo came to an end and the drunken woman left the stage, to the delight of
every person in the building.
Ryoga dropped his pack on the floor before falling into his chair.
Listlessly the young man's head fell forward, landing on his crossed arms lying
atop the table. Silently the Lost Boy stayed in this position for as long as he
could, just glad to be off his feet. Ryoga's peace, as always, was short lived.
A waitress in tight leather pants and a halter-top stepped upto the table and
knocked lightly upon the fake wood. "What'll it be, sailor?"
Ryoga looked up at the woman with a slightly confused look in his eyes. He
understood that the woman was speaking English, a language he'd learned quickly in
his travels, but her accent confused him slightly. With a slight blush Ryoga
responded quietly, "Water."
The waitress gave a skeptical shrug before heading back to the bar.
Ryoga had been sitting in the dark corner by himself for the last few hours
listening to people singing songs that they had no right singing. Every time a new
person walked upto the mic Ryoga was quickly reminded of his Bakusai Tenketsu
training, which seemed infinitesimally LESS painful. Fed up with the horrible
singing Ryoga walked upto the stage and literally booted the person from the
spotlight.
The cursed teen sighed happily with himself as he grabbed the microphone
before it hit the floor. Ryoga's shocking action caused a general uproar with the
patrons, who were happy to finally have some quiet after untold tone-deaf amateurs.
Not quite sure what to do Ryoga blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.
Casually the martial artist looked to the teleprompter to see what atrocious song
would next cross the paths of these patrons.
A gentle guitar strummed as the first words crossed the monitor. Ryoga
quickly caught step and sang along as the words scrolled by. The Lost Boy's
slightly deep tenor voice resounded off the walls as he sung the gentle melody.
"From the first hello you gave to me
I've done nothing else but smile
And I know you're in a hurry
but it's gonna take a while.
So forgive me if we go slow,
but there's something I think you should know..."
Images of Akane and P-chan flashed across Ryoga's mind's eye as he sang.
"I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
Ryoga remembered all the nights he'd spent in Akane's loving arms, not as a
warrior, but as a pet.
A slide whistle joined the other instruments as the song continued.
"Don't push me in too deep,
I've always been the fool who rushes in.
You've got to take the pieces one-by-one
before you've got everything.
So forgive me if we go slow,
but there's something I think you should know..."
Ryoga thought back to the "Cave of Lost Love" and other ventures where Ukyo
had required his help in their fool hardy attempts to destroy Ranma and Akane.
"I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
Suddenly Akari's pretty smiling face crossed Ryoga's vision, but only for a
second. The kawaii young woman was quickly pushed from the forefront of Ryoga's
thoughts.
The whistle returned to the forefront of the music, easily filling the gaps
and breaks of the song.
"Oh! There'll be times when I'm mistaken
there'll be times when we're gonna fight
but you needn't doubt we can work it out
and in time we'll make it right.
So forgive me if we go slow,
but there's something I think you should know..."
The smell of okonomiyaki struck Ryoga's nostrils. It was a familiar and
welcome smell. Ryoga knew of only one person alive that could make such a simple
thing as okonomiyaki smell like a gourmet meal. Unfortunately when Ryoga opened
his eyes to read the next piece of the song the faint smell of okonomiyaki was
replaced by the pungent stench of dead fish.
"I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
I'm goin' fast as I can, please don't make me rush
this feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say 'I love you' yet
I'm not ready to say 'I love you' yet."
Scenes of Ryoga being yelled at by Ukyo filled Ryoga's mind's eye. The
strange rescue attempt on Toma's island, the Cave, odd times at Ucchan's, and
countless other times. Ukyo's smiling face looked up into Ryoga's similarly
smiling face as he held her close.
One final time the slide whistle returned to the song. And once more the
young singer was lost to the song. A few stray tears began to form at the corners
of Ryoga's eyes as something dawned on him. It was something that had seemed to be
staring him in the face for a long time, but he refused to see it.
"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A giant white beam of energy flared out from Ryoga as the song ended. The
ceiling around the blast's escape route fell in upon the young martial artist. A
rather large support beam was jarred loose and landed upon Ryoga's head. The Lost
Boy was knocked unconscious.
Ukyo sneezed gently behind the grill at Ucchan's. "I hope I'm not getting
sick." A slightly goofy grin tweaked at the corners of Ukyo's gentle face as she
thought of a worried and caring Ranma sitting by her side, holding her hand, and
nursing her back to health.
This was written in the course of an hour while listening to my Great Big Sea
CD, over and over. The song Ryoga sings is "Fast As I Can" by Great Big Sea, and
is being used without permission. GBS is a great Canadian band, for more info go
to http://www.greatbigsea.com/
All characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi, and they too are being used
without permission. Please don't sue me. I'm too broke to afford a bottle of Jolt
Cola, how could I afford court costs?