A/N: Another chapter…heh, can't believe I had the attention span to make it this far. =P
Allen: Could it possibly be all of the fun you have messing with me in between?
Allen!! *captures him in death-grip hug*
Allen: Ack…need…air…
Oops! Heh, sorry 'bout that…Got a little carried away. ^_^
Allen: Sure ya did…~_~0
Okay, any burning desire y'all might have for a disclaimer…There ain't gonna be one this chapter! Go back a few to get your fix, if needs be.
Allen: *blink* Does this mean I'm…fired?! o_O
No worries! You still got "muse status," which counts for a bunch more in my book!
Okey doke…I'll do the lil "Reviewers Review" before the story this time.
Pookakitten: eheheh…you caught me. ~_~0 I tend to get lazy with descriptions and gloss over finer details, so while I may develop the storyline itself, I neglect the setting and whatnot. I also get scared of doing one of those "5 pages for an article of clothing" pieces. Thanks for mentioning it, though…I need to be held accountable every now and then. I hope this one's a lil bit better. Further constructive criticism is much appreciated! ^_^
basketcase: Thanks! I really enjoyed writing that bit of the story, too. In yo' face, bad parenting! ^o^
GoldenSunSheba: ^_^ Love the review…except for da scary laughing part. o_O Well, I'll keep on going with the story, or…yeah. =P
ExMachina: lol, yeah, I guess I just can't help but refer to the guy that way…Just makes me think of Hurricane Kevin a few weeks back near the West Coast…^.^ Shame on me…
Well, on with the 'fic!
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The Glass is Half Empty: the life of Allen Ridgeley
Chapter Seven: I'll be your crying shoulder
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The strands in your eyes
that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust
toward the sky
Never
revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong
together
Dress it up with the trappings
of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of
heartache that hang from above
I dropped out
I burned up
I found my way back from the dead
I tuned in
And turned on
Remembering the things that you said
I'll be your crying
shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of
your life
~the GooGoo Dolls, "I'll Be"
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Allen stood in front of the small mirror on the door of his bathroom cabinet, marked with a few errant smudges of old soap and shaving cream. He pulled the knot in his cobalt tie taut, giving himself a critical once-over again before slapping his forehead in disgust. "What am I thinking?! I have to meet in her fifteen minutes…what kind of a nut would change after only an hour?" He dashed back into his bedroom and looked at the button-down shirt and slacks he'd donned. "Darn. Now I don't have time to change back into everything…I guess I'll just grab the shirt I had on before." He began to yank the buttons undone and pulled the half-opened shirt over his head, where it chose to conveniently get itself stuck. "Oh no. Not now…"
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Twenty-five minutes and one ripped dress shirt later, Allen made it to the meeting place, disheveled and out of breath. He had managed to fight his way out of the first shirt and pull on his old one as he was running from his apartment.
Allen bent over and put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath by focusing on the pattern of bricks in the cobbled sidewalk. He turned to the sound of footsteps behind him.
"You're exactly ten minutes and," she glanced at her watch, "forty-seven seconds late. You must've been in an awful hurry."
"What…what makes you…say that?" He stopped to gasp in air in short, shaky inhalations.
Shion smiled and fingered the sleeve of his shirt. "Well, for one thing, you can't put a sentence together without gasping for air. And secondly…" she looked up at him with a grin flitting at the corners of her mouth. "Your shirt is on inside out. Either you were in a hurry to get here, or you just came from another…engagement." The smirk shone in full force.
Allen tried to recover and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "Why? Does it make you jealous?" I can't believe I just said that…He gave a mental groan at his own impulsiveness.
Her eyes widened as she moved her face to meet his gaze, eyes searching his curiously. "You're definitely something else, Allen Ridgeley. I'm not sure yet whether I like it or not, but you're definitely…something else."
Each stood and looked at the other for several long moments, the earlier afternoon sunlight donning the fiery raiment of sunset and bathing the two in its crimson glow.
Allen stepped back and coughed into his hand, before reaching back and scratching the back of his head with the other. "Heh, how about we head off to go eat? I'll bet all of those interviews built up quite the appetite. So…" He held out one arm, bent at the elbow and waiting for an acceptance. "Shall we?"
Shion took the proffered arm, wrapping it with her own. "Let's go."
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"And then Yuji says, 'How could I have known she was Basil's grandmother?!'"
Shion burst out in a raucous fit of laughter, Allen joining in not long afterwards. She kept chuckling as she wiped her eyes with her napkin. "I haven't laughed like that in such a long time! Wow…It must've been great to be around all of those guys. They sound like a real bunch of characters."
Allen took a sip from the tea in front of him and leaned back in his seat, enjoying the mellow sounds of strings coming from somewhere in the homely little restaurant. "Come on…I'm sure you've known plenty of people like that."
She fiddled with her silverware, turning the spoon between her hands. "You'd be surprised." Shion's voice took on bitter edge, as she gave a wry smile. Her eyes shimmered as the room suddenly became too bright. "Try spending your entire childhood buried in textbooks, pushing for the chance that one day, just maybe, you could get into a good school and find a halfway decent job. I had my family, and God only knows my brother Jin was plenty wild enough to keep a little girl company, but sometimes I just wished…" She sighed. "Have you ever thought about the past and wanted so desperately to change it—needed it so badly? Even though your mind knows it could never happen, your heart keeps on pressing in its foolish little quest." She gave an uneasy smile. "I'm rambling now, aren't I?"
Allen reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I understand more of that than you'd know." He sniffed the air and gave a sideways glance to his right before breaking into a lopsided grin. "But what do you say we eat now? The waiter looks like he's tired of holding all those plates."
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Over lasagna and a mild red wine, they talked about many things, basked in the warm glow of the candle. Wanting to cheer up the young woman's mood, Allen diverted the conversation to lighter topics. The banter was quick and easy, and before he knew it, they were laughing over his professor's antics as they finished a dish of spumoni.
Shion was back to laughing again. "So he really forgot where his own office was?"
"Yep. He ended up lost and wandering the hall, going door to door and asking where he was. He ended up knocking on one door for twenty minutes, waiting for someone to answer and help him…It ended up being his office! We talked about it in the department for weeks."
"It actually sounds like something I would've done…Once we start working together, you'll see just how forgetful I can be." She looked up to see the waiter placing the check on the table and clearing away the melted remains of the spumoni, which had swirled into a mess of pink and green in the bottom of the dish. She reached beneath the table for her purse, but Allen held up his hand to stop her.
"Hey, now. You wouldn't think of depriving me of the pleasure of treating you to dinner, would you?" That earned him a soft chuckle.
"You really are old-fashioned, aren't you?"
"When it comes to women, you better believe it. Which reminds me…Would you like to go for a late walk in the city park while we digest this lovely dinner?"
They pushed back from the table and stood, and Allen helped her on with her coat.
"You're quite the charmer, aren't you?"
"I try."
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Like most of the places surrounding Bormeo's campus, the city park had a vintage, antiquated feel to it. Globular lanterns sat embedded in cast iron lampposts, spaced widely along a well-trodden dirt path that led to a grassy pavilion. Silvery moonbeams painted phantom images in the inky shadows between the trees and the golden glow of the lights. There was the soft clopping of horses in the background, accompanied by the gentle burbling of a fountain beneath the other sounds of the night.
Allen and Shion walked through the gate, an intricately carved stone arch bearing the likeness of several animals. A slight breeze blew past the pair, causing Shion to pull the thin jacket tighter around her small frame. She shivered slightly, and Allen looked over at her.
"Are you cold?"
She shook her head and smiled. "I'm fine, thanks. Just a little chilly is all…Is that a fountain up there?"
They neared the pavilion, and in the center of the grassy expanse, there stood a large concrete fountain, sending numerous shimmering spouts of water cascading over its edifice. There was a veritable menagerie of mythical beasts etched into its base—unicorns galloping past frisky satyrs, griffons in fierce combat with bloodthirsty wolves, great looping serpents entwining into themselves all around the structure. In the midst of these, water nymphs frolicked and bowed in their eternal poses of gaiety, their basins and vessels serving as the source of the fountain's spring.
Shion simply stared at the work in awe, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.
Allen stepped up beside her. "Pretty impressive, huh?"
"It's so beautiful…" She ran up to it, looking as giddy as a little girl. She gestured to each of the scenes. "Just look at all of these! It must've taken the sculptor years to make it…And who'd make it nowadays? There hasn't been any architecture like this for centuries…" She ran one hand delicately, lovingly over the textured surface. "Whoever it was must have put a great deal of themselves into it's creation."
"Would you be surprised if I told you that my great-grandfather was that person?"
She spun around. "No way…that's incredible!" He started to chuckle. "What? What's so funny?"
"It's also not true." He dodged her attempt at a playful shove, laughing warmly. "Actually, the sculptor was the wife of the founder of the university here in Bormeo. She had an absolutely enormous collection of ancient manuscripts, and many of them had illustrations much like these. After their oldest child had left home to start his own life, she devoted hers to creating a lasting tribute to the ones she loved. If you look at the plaque over here…" He took Shion's arm and led her to the opposite side of the fountain, where a brass plaque lay between the few cobblestones surrounding the fountain. "It says: To Robert, Helen, and Stephen…May these magical beasts guard over your souls in sleep and during waking hours, in this life and the next. Let them give you solace against that long repose which awaits us all…'for in that sleep, what dreams may come'.—Your loving wife and mother, Cassandra Maddock. "
"How can you remember all of that?"
"Well, they make all of the students at Bormeo go through an induction ceremony here at this fountain…so we all hear the story. It's rather striking, so it stuck in my head. So," he held up two coins, "are you ready for the next part of our evening?"
"Huh? What are those for?"
Allen feigned a horrified look. "I can't believe you've never made a wish in a fountain before. Oh, the humanity! The scandal! It's unheard of! It's—" He was stopped by a small hand clamping firmly over his mouth.
"Alright, I get your point. Geez, don't be so melodramatic." She removed her hand and took one of the coins. "Since you're apparently the expert on this, how about you show me what to do with this…"
He grinned. "Fine. First, stand with your back to the fountain…Like so. Then, take the coin in your hand…" He winked at her. "Like so."
"Allen…" She poised her hand near the water, threatening to splash…he took the hint.
"Okay, okay. Close your eyes and through it over your shoulder. Here, I'll let you go first."
Her eyebrows rose over her closed lids. "What a gentleman…what's next?"
"Uh…you make your wish."
"Wish you weren't such a smartass…"
"Huh? You say something?"
"Nope!" She paused and then opened her eyes. "There. Happy?"
"Extremely. My turn!" He paused, holding the coin close to his closed eyes. He flicked his fingers and sent the coin flipping end over end behind him into the fountain. "Wish you'd loosen up a little…"
"Did you say something?"
"Uh, no…Alright, that's the one to go with…" He opened his eyes.
"So now what?"
He winked at her. "You'll just have to wait and see."
"Sure…what did you wish for?"
"Can't tell
you or it won't come true…"
"Oh."
They began to walk along the park's path once more. "So…wanna tell me what your wish was?"
Shion stopped and put her hands on her hips. "I thought you said if I did that, my wish wouldn't come true!"
"Well, you said you have such a bad memory…just checkin' to see if you remembered."
"Aah!" She threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't believe you…Let's just keep walking, okay?"
Allen moved beside her, and they were soon strolling side by side again. He gave Shion a glance out of the corner of his eye, looking back ahead of them soon afterwards. Her arms were crossed, but there was a smile on her lips and in her eyes.
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"Allen, make sure Togashi is entering the right sequences at terminal four." Shion bustled around, going from group to group, trying to catch any errors that might botch the day's attempt at emotional integration for the project's database.
"Sure thing…No, don't enter in subset 13!! Just…move over and let me enter in the coding sequence…" He hopped into the vacated seat and typed furiously. "We're trying to give it normal emotions, Togashi…do you want it to have some sort of complex?"
Someone cleared his throat behind him. "Actually, I would prefer you referred it as a her…Consciously, she'll be relatively human, after all." A man with deep indigo hair stood behind Allen.
Shion hurried over. "Kevin, how nice to see you! You're here early…"
He smiled at her. "Well, I only had a few things to go over with the boss, so I wanted to wrap it up and get back to what was important as quickly as possible."
Allen bit sharply into his tongue to focus on not rolling his eyes. The coppery taste of blood flooded his mouth as he watched the exchange of words. Sure works fast…we've all only met each other for this project a month ago…He turned back to the monitor and finished his entry.
At least I know that he'll never know or understand her as well as I do…
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"He asked me to dinner tonight!" Shion grasped Allen's hands and twirled him in a circle with herself. Work hours had just ended, and they stood outside in the parking lot on the crisp spring evening.
"What? But I thought we were all going out to Gus's for some poker—"
"C'mon, you can't possibly expect me to pass this up!" Her smile froze when she saw his hurt expression. "Allen, don't worry. We can hang out some other time. You're not going to let a little thing like this get in the way of our friendship, are you?"
He plastered a small smile on his face. But it looks like you just might do that yourself…"Of course not. You know I'd never let anything like that happen. Well, I hope you have fun tonight." He started to walk away.
"Allen, wait!" He paused but didn't turn to look at her. "Don't be so glum. I want you to lighten up and go have fun with the guys tonight. That's an order."
He snapped off a quick salute.
"Sure thing…Chief…"
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The weather had been a little bit off that day. There was something about the humidity, the way the clouds hung so low in the sky, the way the air clung to every pore…that just wasn't right. The animals in the forest surrounding the research complex had been acting strange as well. They would show aggression and chase the workers one second, before running in confused, ambling patterns and collapsing in the brush. Allen had a bad feeling about working on the project today…refer to KOS-MOS as her…although he'd been rather glum for quite a few months. After the initial date between Kevin and the Chief (don't I even think of her as Shion anymore?), they had hit it off and began seeing each other on a more serious basis. There were even a few rumors that if Kevin ever actually took a little bit of his focus from "his baby," he might even decide to settle down and propose to the moonstruck young woman.
Needless to say, their romance had stretched and plucked away at the seams of Allen and Shion's closely-knitted friendship. She became infatuated with Kevin, slowly devoting more and more of her time, energies, and passion to him and his dream of finishing KOS-MOS. Everyone in the R&D Division seemed fine with the turn of events…except for Allen. Other than his grandfather, he had never connected with another human being so strongly and deeply. Although he had never ventured to talk about his past with her for fear of burdening someone else with his own pain, there wasn't another soul that knew him so completely and utterly—and the same went for her. Still, what he had originally hoped would be a short fling with Kevin had blossomed into much more. Being honest with himself, Allen had to admit that at the very least, Shion loved the man. She adored him…nearly kissed the ground he walked on. She was constantly striving to reach his level of understanding and achievement and to live life with the same vibrancy and passion.
Allen paused outside of the building, leaning against its concrete wall and closing his eyes with his internal speculation. With the acceptance of Shion's love toward Kevin, Allen had come to a very harsh and very bitter realization: he was in love with Shion as well. For almost a year, he had allowed his heart to be slowly maimed by each innocent encounter with the "happy couple" with his only consoling thought being her happiness…and he constantly blamed himself for not recognizing his own feelings sooner, when he still had the chance to see if there would ever be something more between the two of them.
"Why…Why do I always wait until the last minute?! Why do I still hide from her…and from myself? What the hell is wrong with me?!" He punctuated his last statement by slamming his head backwards, hard into the solid face of the wall. "Damnit…" Allen leaned forward and clutched the back of his head. He could already feel it beginning to throb, and a small wet clump of hair indicated that he had, indeed, managed to break the skin of his head open during his little tantrum. That was sure gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning…A familiar voice broke him out of his reverie.
"Hey, Allen. Are you alright?" Shion stood in front of him, one delicate arch of an eyebrow quirked in concern. "Did you hurt yourself?"
He stood up, ready to answer, but reconsidered what he was going to say when he saw her companion. "Don't worry, Chief. I'll be fine. Well, I guess I'd better get to work. If there's gonna be any power surges due to this, I've got a lot to do." He brushed past the two. "Good morning, Kevin."
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It started with a power outage after an especially fierce barrage of lightning bolts outside of the building. Kevin was in the midst of telling one of the lower-level researchers to shut down the main breakers and switch to the generator, when something else quickly caught his attention. He stopped what he was doing immediately, and Shion turned to see what he was looking at.
She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "Dear, God…It's shorted the containment system for KOS-MOS! How can this be?! We set that to a different power grid! Kevin! Get everyone out of here! NOW!!"
There would be no evacuation until after most of them were lying either wounded…or dead.
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A flash of lightning. Four of the young men and women entrusted to her for this project are on the floor, and Allen was the next one to be left in its wake.
Already dizzy from his prior blow to the head, Allen couldn't muster the coordination to overcome the intense fear that gripped his legs and seemingly encased them in stone. As "Kevin's baby" approached, his sense of dread diminished, and an eerie calm stole over him. Its (her) shadow fell upon him, and Allen did nothing more than look death in the eye with a quiet submission.
The next thing he remembered would be the cool feel of the sheets in his hospital room.
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Allen moved to lie on his side on his bunk, propping up an elbow and resting his head in his hand. What's going on today? Why do I keep remembering all of this…Geez, the joy of repression comin' back to bite me in the ass…He heard a soft knocking on the doorframe craned his head to see Shion standing there. "Hey." He rubbed at his eyes, trying to mask their redness with counterfeit fatigue.
She leaned against the jamb and peered up at him. "Hi…do you think you might feel up to talking a little more?"
He sat up, dangling his legs off the edge of the bunk and resting his clasped hands upon them. "I-I guess. Uh, got anything in particular on your mind?"
Shion climbed onto the empty bunk across from him and sat in a similar position, though her legs reached a noticeably shorter distance. "Actually, I was thinking about back when we first met…we were so close, you know?" Her eyes seemed to lose a little bit of their spark as she focused her vision on a point on the wall. "And I also started thinking about that…that day back at the complex." A single tear formed at the corner of an eye, appearing magnified through her glasses. It grew pregnant with the moment, to fall down on her cheek in a fat, wet drop. Her next words were barely above a whisper, and she stared at the hands that were gripped together bloodlessly in front of her. "Thank you…"
Allen's eyes widened. "Chief, I—"
She held up one hand curtly to cut him off. "No, let me say this. I never thanked you, for being there for me through such a rough time…And I never apologized for not being the friend I should have been for so many years now. I just…I hope you'll forgive me, that you're not disappointed in me…I don't know if I could deal with you not being my support anymore." Her last reserves of resistance against the tears caved in, and Shion's face wrenched with sobs as she buried it in her hands.
Allen sighed and climbed down from his bunk, walking over to Shion. He was eye level with her knees at the moment, but that would have to do. "Chief…Shion…C'mon, don't cry…Haven't I always told you that you'd never have to doubt my friendship?" She peered at him through her splayed fingers. "You never have to wonder whether or not I'll be there for you…It's a given." He steeled himself for the next words, knowing that they'd wound his already battered heart but were necessary to help her towards her happier self. "I will always be your friend."
She slid down from the bunk and embraced him, burying her tearstained face in his shirt. She managed a shaky "thank you" in between sobs as Allen just stood there and held her…being what she'd always needed him to be.
Her friend.
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Alrighty…I hate to say it, but I've encountered a tad bit o' the writer's block…I'm at a crossroads of where I'd like to take this 'fic…or if I should even end the story here. It is, after all, moving onwards, toward past and present alike…and my main intentions had been primarily to explore Allen's past, which I believe has been accomplished...to some meager extent. ^_^
But, who knows! ^_^ I won't be working on this quite so often with all of my exams, projects, etc. coming up in rapid succession…but if I am struck with a new angle or arc, I'll definitely crack my knuckles and set to work!
I hope that the reading was enjoyable so far…Thanks for joining me on this little side-trip into the past…hope to see you again!
Best wishes and warmest regards,
~midnightoasis