The Words That Came out Wrong By: Casey D. Milko
Rated: PG-13
Category: MSR/Angst. Mulder POV.
Spoilers: Memento Mori, Fight the Future, infamous hotel scene in the
Pilot.
Summary: Sometimes it's better when words come out wrong.
Disclaimer: I am 14 years old, I don't think I could come up with such
amazing characters nor such complex plots so don't go suing me. The
characters belong to 1013, I am simply borrowing these characters, I'll put
them back just as jaded as I found them.
The Words That Came out Wrong
"It started when I first lost my best friend, my dog at four, then Sam at twelve, then my friends started to disappear. Soon I went away to university and fell in what I thought was love, of course it wasn't. But it is now that I realize my curse, everything and everyone that I have ever loved or cared about in any way just leaves me, dies, or changes into something horrible. So now I have put up a wall of steel around my heart so neither myself nor anyone else can get hurt because of my curse. I bury myself in my work as much as I can which is okay I guess. I have to admit, it did get kind of boring, that is until not so long ago, I met you." I said, as Dana Scully stared straight into my eyes even when my eyes wandered through her apartment almost in embarrassment. I found myself here after deciding to tell her absolutely everything, of course being the insomniac I am, I decided this at 12:30 at night. Scully had just gotten into bed when I knocked on her door.
"And what happened after that?" She asked softly, sweetly with a rare smile on her face. Which urges me to continue digging not only a hole but into my own psyche.
"Well." I froze after one word. She smiles again and places her hands on mine.
"Look if you don't want to talk about it right now we can talk about something else and we'll discuss it tomorrow or whenever." Somehow the way I look at her at this very moment, is different from the way I usually do, maybe it's just the subject, but maybe not.
"No, I'm the one who woke you up, I .I want to finish this." I said trying to convince her and maybe just a little of me too. Dana says nothing and makes a small hand movement indicating that I can continue. "Well, we ended up in many different situations right from day one, such as, when you ran into my hotel room wearing only your, um, undergarments." We both let out a small laugh and I thank God for that little tension relief. "Then one tragedy after another we learned more and more about each other, and with that knowledge we became closer, you have become more than just a person I work with, you are the best friend that I have ever had." With those last few words I almost heard Dana's heart fall, she had this look in her eyes like I had just killed a puppy. "What. what is the matter?" I said extremely confused.
"No, it's nothing I just. thought you were going to say something else." She mumbled.
"What? I." She cut me off with a tiny movement of her hand and a look in her eye. That's all it took to shut me up, after all this time, I knew her mind and I thought I knew her heart.
"I thought you were going to tell me you loved me." I heard the pain in her voice and I saw that there were tears welling up in her eyes. "Because Mulder, I love you, I have for a long time now, and now I thought finally you felt the same way. You come to my door telling me that we really need to talk, and you go on about how you have this curse that everyone you love goes away, then you get to me saying how we know each other very well and that we are close like more than just working partners. I don't know what happened, I guess I got my hopes up, maybe it's the fact that I haven't slept in 24 hours, or maybe it's the fact that I haven't gotten laid in like 3 years. I don't know maybe I just hoped that you would just say those three small stupid words to me. That hope is the only thing that kept me with you on those cases, when my sister was killed, when I found out I had cancer and when I had frost bite on my ass from when I was in that space ship or what ever the hell it was." I couldn't believe it she actually loved me, of all people, he who has an obsession with porn, he who is more paranoid than a person on crack, he who has more baggage than an airport, me.
"Scully, I was going to say that I don't want to hurt you with that pathetic curse of mine, because I think that I'm falling for you. I wake up in the morning thinking about you, I find myself staring at you when you're working on a dead man, I need you Scully." Dana looks down at her feet for the first time tonight in embarrassment.
"Well I just made the biggest fool of myself."
"No, it's my fault, my words just kept coming out wrong and I gave you the wrong impression."
"I feel so pathetic saying this but do you love me?" I panic again thinking that she won't like my answer.
"Scully, I just can't say it I'm so sorry, I just can't" I expect her to look like she was going to cry but instead she pulls me into an embrace and whispers into my ear.
"It's okay Mulder, I love you, and you know that, when you are ready just say those three words, and I promise I will say them right back." For the first time that night they both smile hole-heartedly. I bring my hand up to her face, cup her cheek and gently stroke away her falling tears with my thumb. Dana surprises me when she leans in and kisses my lips softly. We pull away and simply stare and smile at each other. This time I lean in and softly kiss her on the lips, soon that kiss turns passionate. I take my free hand and slowly slide it up her milky thigh. Dana pulls away unsure of herself.
"Mulder, wait." She says obviously knowing what I was doing. "Let's save it for another night." Clueing in I kiss her once on the lips and once on the cheek and just look into her beautiful blue eyes.
"Okay. I should go then." I kiss her once more and she gives me a hug. I pick up my leather jacket and head out the door. Silently we say our good byes and when I took not two steps out the door Dana comes back and grabs my hand.
"Mulder, I have to say, I'm actually glad your words came out wrong." This time I feel my eyes filling with tears.
"Me too."
"Mulder, I love you." I don't say anything, but I feel that she knows that I love her too. I look at her one more time before I walk out of the building. I know that I will never forget that look in her eyes when she told me she loved me, maybe one day I can tell her how much I love her.
The End.
April/2002
The Words That Came out Wrong
"It started when I first lost my best friend, my dog at four, then Sam at twelve, then my friends started to disappear. Soon I went away to university and fell in what I thought was love, of course it wasn't. But it is now that I realize my curse, everything and everyone that I have ever loved or cared about in any way just leaves me, dies, or changes into something horrible. So now I have put up a wall of steel around my heart so neither myself nor anyone else can get hurt because of my curse. I bury myself in my work as much as I can which is okay I guess. I have to admit, it did get kind of boring, that is until not so long ago, I met you." I said, as Dana Scully stared straight into my eyes even when my eyes wandered through her apartment almost in embarrassment. I found myself here after deciding to tell her absolutely everything, of course being the insomniac I am, I decided this at 12:30 at night. Scully had just gotten into bed when I knocked on her door.
"And what happened after that?" She asked softly, sweetly with a rare smile on her face. Which urges me to continue digging not only a hole but into my own psyche.
"Well." I froze after one word. She smiles again and places her hands on mine.
"Look if you don't want to talk about it right now we can talk about something else and we'll discuss it tomorrow or whenever." Somehow the way I look at her at this very moment, is different from the way I usually do, maybe it's just the subject, but maybe not.
"No, I'm the one who woke you up, I .I want to finish this." I said trying to convince her and maybe just a little of me too. Dana says nothing and makes a small hand movement indicating that I can continue. "Well, we ended up in many different situations right from day one, such as, when you ran into my hotel room wearing only your, um, undergarments." We both let out a small laugh and I thank God for that little tension relief. "Then one tragedy after another we learned more and more about each other, and with that knowledge we became closer, you have become more than just a person I work with, you are the best friend that I have ever had." With those last few words I almost heard Dana's heart fall, she had this look in her eyes like I had just killed a puppy. "What. what is the matter?" I said extremely confused.
"No, it's nothing I just. thought you were going to say something else." She mumbled.
"What? I." She cut me off with a tiny movement of her hand and a look in her eye. That's all it took to shut me up, after all this time, I knew her mind and I thought I knew her heart.
"I thought you were going to tell me you loved me." I heard the pain in her voice and I saw that there were tears welling up in her eyes. "Because Mulder, I love you, I have for a long time now, and now I thought finally you felt the same way. You come to my door telling me that we really need to talk, and you go on about how you have this curse that everyone you love goes away, then you get to me saying how we know each other very well and that we are close like more than just working partners. I don't know what happened, I guess I got my hopes up, maybe it's the fact that I haven't slept in 24 hours, or maybe it's the fact that I haven't gotten laid in like 3 years. I don't know maybe I just hoped that you would just say those three small stupid words to me. That hope is the only thing that kept me with you on those cases, when my sister was killed, when I found out I had cancer and when I had frost bite on my ass from when I was in that space ship or what ever the hell it was." I couldn't believe it she actually loved me, of all people, he who has an obsession with porn, he who is more paranoid than a person on crack, he who has more baggage than an airport, me.
"Scully, I was going to say that I don't want to hurt you with that pathetic curse of mine, because I think that I'm falling for you. I wake up in the morning thinking about you, I find myself staring at you when you're working on a dead man, I need you Scully." Dana looks down at her feet for the first time tonight in embarrassment.
"Well I just made the biggest fool of myself."
"No, it's my fault, my words just kept coming out wrong and I gave you the wrong impression."
"I feel so pathetic saying this but do you love me?" I panic again thinking that she won't like my answer.
"Scully, I just can't say it I'm so sorry, I just can't" I expect her to look like she was going to cry but instead she pulls me into an embrace and whispers into my ear.
"It's okay Mulder, I love you, and you know that, when you are ready just say those three words, and I promise I will say them right back." For the first time that night they both smile hole-heartedly. I bring my hand up to her face, cup her cheek and gently stroke away her falling tears with my thumb. Dana surprises me when she leans in and kisses my lips softly. We pull away and simply stare and smile at each other. This time I lean in and softly kiss her on the lips, soon that kiss turns passionate. I take my free hand and slowly slide it up her milky thigh. Dana pulls away unsure of herself.
"Mulder, wait." She says obviously knowing what I was doing. "Let's save it for another night." Clueing in I kiss her once on the lips and once on the cheek and just look into her beautiful blue eyes.
"Okay. I should go then." I kiss her once more and she gives me a hug. I pick up my leather jacket and head out the door. Silently we say our good byes and when I took not two steps out the door Dana comes back and grabs my hand.
"Mulder, I have to say, I'm actually glad your words came out wrong." This time I feel my eyes filling with tears.
"Me too."
"Mulder, I love you." I don't say anything, but I feel that she knows that I love her too. I look at her one more time before I walk out of the building. I know that I will never forget that look in her eyes when she told me she loved me, maybe one day I can tell her how much I love her.
The End.
April/2002