(Inu Yasha: I guess the corny writeress didn't specify something….I give LOVE advice!! If you have any questions outside of that, go bother Sesshomaru or Kagome or something!)
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Inu Yasha's Guide to Mating
Chapter 4
The Date (Part 1)
Okay! The date is set up and your meeting/picking up your date in a few minutes or so. Nervous? If you are, you're not alone, if you aren't, then I don't know why your reading this book. If you're not nervous then get lost!
(Shippou: Oh that'll help the book sales…)
(Inu Yasha: Well I happen to know there are a lot of people out there clueless about dating…just look at the reviews!)
If you are nervous then calm down, take deep breaths, take a chill pill, pal!
(Shippou: Drugs are bad.)
Check yourself before you go to your date. Did you shower? Did you wash your hair? Did you brush your teeth? Did you shave? Did you use deodorant? Make sure you use the really strong kind. Make sure your wearing clean underpants. Personal, it gives me more confidence if I'm wearing designer boxers to my date.
(Shippou: Thank you for sharing…;;;;)
(Inu Yasha: Your welcome, snot-rag…-_-)
Try to have clean clothes unless your planning on going natural as explained in the last chapter! ^_~
(Shippou: …..Oh wait! I figured out what that means! _)
Once again, make sure you know where you're going…unless you want to make that getting lost was part of the date. Know how to get where you're going, make sure you have enough gas….unless you want to make that running out of gas is also part of the date.
(Shippou: Is that supposed to be romantic or something?)
(Inu Yasha: You've got a lot to learn Shippou…)
Know how much things are going to cost if you're paying for anything. With most couples the woman makes the man buy, or the man let's the woman pay, or they both split the difference and pay equally….men, this is one of the positives of woman's live…)
(Shippou: Jerk….don't let Kagome hear you say that….she'll show you just how powerful a girl is…)
(Inu Yasha: Hey! Whose side are you on, foxboy??)
(Shippou: No comment.)
(Inu Yasha: Fine! I see how it is!!)
Check your watch, keep an extra twenty, check everything or you're screwed like a prostitute.
(Shippou: Ah, man! _ I dislike your choice of words!)
(Inu Yasha: Deal with it….Oh! I'm ready!*wearing his regular clothes* What do you think? Do I look like a million yen or what?)
(Shippou: Uh…)
The example date, will be one that happens with me and Kagome.
(Shippou: "Kagome and I")
(Inu Yasha: Shut up and write..)
First impressions are important, and initiating conversations is half the battle.
(Shippou: We do not own Big Daddy…)
What's the very first task? Journeying to the meeting point. In the example date, that's Kagome's house. Hopefully you don't have to cross time era's to get to your date's house.
(Shippou and Inu Yasha: *walking toward Kagome's house*)
(Inu Yasha: *about to go through Kagome's window*)
(Shippou: Wait!)
(Inu Yasha: What??)
(Shippou: Shouldn't you use the front door??)
(Inu Yasha: *sighs* I guess I'm supposed to….*jumps back down and walks around to the front door*)
In some cases, you'll have to meet your date's parents. Some parent's will be over protective, paranoid, scary, questioning, and/or eccentric. They might not think your good enough for their daughter or son. They'll ask you questions like, "What are your intentions?" or "What are your plans for the immanent future?" They'll try to scare you off….test your worth. And it usually takes a lot of doing things you dislike and are nervous about to gain their approval. There is a thin line between approval and them thinking of you as a potential rapist/biker/psycho/girlfriend beater. But you can bet that if worst comes to worst and you break up later, they'll be begging their son or daughter to go back to dating you instead of their new boyfriend or remaining single.
(Shippou: Where do you get this information?)
(Inu Yasha: Don't interrupt…..)
(Inu Yasha: *walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell*)
(Shippou: *Trying to write everything down*)
(The door opens and Ms. Higurushi is standing there.)
(Ms. Higurushi: Hello, Inu Yasha! ^_^)
(Inu Yasha: Hello, Ms. Kagome's mom.)
(Ms. Higurushi: Call me Mom, won't you dear? ^_^ *pulls him inside and Shippou comes running inside too* Are you ready for your big date tonight? ^_^)
(Inu Yasha: Yes…uh…Mom…)
(Ms. Higurushi: ^__^ Kagome will be down in a minute, would you like something to drink?)
(Inu Yasha: Sure.)
(Ms. Higurushi: ^_^ I'll just go get you some Cola then. You may go wait in the living room if you'd like to sit down! *walks to the kitchen smiling*)
Only a select few can meet a mate's parents who are like Ms. Higurushi.
(Shippou:
Mother of the year, isn't she?)
(Inu Yasha: Easier then
some other things I've seen….)
Asian parents are pretty good natured. They want their children to get married so that they can have grandchildren. Or in Kagome's mom's case, dog eared grandchildren….
(Inu Yasha: - - ;;;; aw crap, don't write that down….)
(Shippou: Too late.)
But if you do something to get on the Asian parents' bad side, they will become your worst nightmare.
Hispanic parents don't worry as much. Most of them anyway. Some Hispanic parents, if you look like bad news, they might give you suspicious looks whenever you come over.
Black parents are the same. You really have to respect them though. Don't do anything to insult them or their children. They can be pretty cool sometimes though…you can actually be friends with them…..sorta….
White parents are paranoid no matter who they are…the only white parents that don't care as much are the white trash, and most of the time they are paranoid as well. They think that all men are out to get their baby girl or all young women are the devil, willing to seduce their Sunday school son's….
(Inu Yasha: *snort*)
(Shippou: Wow. Racial….)
Indian parents are a little bit predjudice. They dislike white mates, black mates, or muslims….
(Shippou: I can see the angry reviews now…;;;;)
Your parents would also have to be crazy if they let you date farm animals also.
(Shippou: O.o Where the heck did that come from?!?)
Though the parents of farm animals probably wouldn't care….at least they don't complain, or scare you…unless you have some fear of cows or turkeys…
(Shippou: Oo ;;;; Inu Yasha? Is there something you'd like to share with us? ;;;;;;;;;;;)
(Shippou and Inu Yasha: *hear someone running down the stairs and a loud sound when they jumped the bottom step*)
(Kagome: *walks around
the corner and stands in the doorway smiling* Ready! ^_^ *dressed in a casual
silky looking black dress with flowers that goes just above her knees, white flipflops, a denim jacket, and her purse. She's wearing a
little bit of lipstick*)
(Shippou and Inu Yasha: *stares*)
(Kagome: What?)
(Inu Yasha: *looks away quickly while blushing*)
(Shippou: Wow! Kagome, you're so pretty!)
(Kagome: =^_^= Thank you, Shippou! *she looks over at Inu Yasha blushing a tad bit* Um…what do you think, Inu Yasha?)
(Inu Yasha: Uh…*looks at her, stands and walks over, still blushing a little bit* um…you look…nice…)
(Kagome: *really happy* ^__^ Thank you! And you look- *looks over his regular red kimono* you look nice too. *she nods* ;;;)
(Shippou: …..)
(Sango: *Peeks in* Is it starting to wear off?)
(Shippou: I don't know. Give him another one just in case.)
(Sango: *walks behind Inu Yasha, applies pressure to his forearm and plunges shot into his lower upper arm.)
(Inu Yasha: *breaths in through his teeth*)
(Sango: *pushes the liquid in then pulls the needle back out* Okay! Continue!)
(Shippou: Thanks Sango! ^_^)
(Inu Yasha: *still blushing a little* Well….*does the first thing that pops into his head. Reaches out and holds her hand* wanna go now?)
(Kagome: *blushing a little but still smiling* sure….let me just make sure I have my keys, where are we going?)
(Inu Yasha: It's all a surprise! ^_^)
(Kagome: ^_^ *smiles* okay, cool….I have my keys, my cell phone, everything's here, I'm ready!)
While on a date, be sincere…you have to believe what your saying don't agree with everything your date says or else they'll think your not listening or can't make up your mind.
(Shippou: *sarcasm* Right, Inu Yasha! You're veeeerry good at making up your mind!)
(Inu Yasha: I know what you're implying, Shippou! If Kagome weren't with us, I'd beat you so hard, your ancestors would feel it!)
(Shippou: crap. ;;; that's pretty hard…)
Be honest, (which goes along with being sincere, but anyway,) don't lie about liking certain types of music, loving the cooking of a certain restraunt when it makes you sick to your stomach, don't lie about being human if your not, don't lie about being demon if you're not, don't lie about not being a half demon, don't lie about being great in bed…because they'll find out later your lying….
(Shippou: - -)
Be friendly, be pleasant. If you start talking about what a loser you are, ten times out of eleven they'll believe you. Do not go for sympathy!! You'll just make them sad, and wish they were around someone who is more fun and less depressing. Do you like to be depressed? If you don't then neither do they, if you do, well then don't come near me, I don't like you….
(Shippou: Wow….I wonder what the readers are thinking…T_T)
It helps if you know some good icebreakers…like if you don't know enough about them to know what they like to talk about….if you're going to talk about yourselves, try to keep it balanced. They don't want to hear all about the wonders of you, but they would also like to know if you're second date material. And it helps to slip in at least one bold comment about yourself to hint that you are a frisky tiger. Grrr…
(Shippou: T_T just back away slowly….)
I'm not saying for you to go and tell them that you are a master at playing hide the magic eggroll…
(Shippou: @_@ Aw, hell no!)
That would probably freak them out and make them think you are only out for "a piece"….
(Shippou: T_T Excuse me while I go bathe my ears in holy water…)
(Inu Yasha: Quit slacking off Shippou! You're supposed to be taking notes!)
I mean like tell them how good you are at tying Cherry stems into a knot inside your mouth, or how you can do the splits in the air….
(Shippou: T_T Why me?)
When you can't think of something to ask, you can sound interested by asking, "How was your day?"
(Shippou: As opposed to being interested?)
Learn about them by asking, "What is your favorite (insert form of entertainment/food/study/whatever)?" It also helps when later if you're still together you'll know what they like when their birthday comes around.
And though this question is a no brainer….ask "Are you a dog or cat person?"
(Inu Yasha: Which one would you rather have? Amazing exciting man's best friend, or a stinking butt-licking cat?)
(Shippou: No comment.)
(Kagome: So, Inu Yasha. How was your day?)
(Inu Yasha: Oh, um fine. You?)
(Kagome: *sigh* I had a huge math test, I have no idea how I did though. I probably failed. Do you like math?)
(Inu Yasha: *the most math he's ever done is counting and measuring* No.)
(Kagome: Me either. ^_^)
(Inu Yasha: ^ ^ So…are you a cat person or a dog person?)
(Kagome: *grins* A cat person of course.)
(Inu Yasha: *freezes* Oo)
(Kagome: ^ ^ I'm just kidding!)
(Inu Yasha: *sigh of relief*)
(Kagome: ^ ^ *giggles* You're so funny.)
(Inu Yasha: *blushes a little bit and keeps walking*)
Bad topic's to go near: Sex. Save it for later ; An Ex. Definitely don't talk about the ex unless you want your ass kicked ; Politics. Everyone has different views and a debate can turn into a soul shattering argument ; Religion. It confuses people. Death. If their village was slaughtered, it might not be something they wanna talk about just yet. If they wanna talk about it, let them bring it up.
(Shippou:
You seem to know these pretty well, what happened?)
(Inu Yasha: If I wanted to
tell you or felt it was important, I would have told you already, Shippou. - -)
(Shippou: O_O brrr…*nervous shudder*)
(Inu Yasha: Okay! ^_^ We're here!)
(Kagome: *eyes widen slightly* huh?)
(Inu Yasha: ^_^ Great isn't it? *walks over to a blanket spread out on a bright green tuffet of grass decorated with dandelions. He has a basket on the side holding down on of the corners so that it didn't blow away in the wind. He sat on his right knee and pulled two fancy drinking glasses out of it and a long necked bottle with a purplish colored liquid inside*
(Kagome and Shippou: O_O)
(Inu Yasha: *looks up at them confused* What? It's only grape soda!)
(Shippou: *sighs*)
(Kagome: *still standing and staring at the picnic blanket*
(Inu Yasha: Sit down, Kagome! *pours some grape soda into the fancy glass holds it up and tilts it from side to side a little as if it would lure her over* I poured you a drink!
(Kagome: *blinks, sweatdrops and looks down at the steep of the side of their picnic sight. It was a armor littered, crow picked skeleton covered battlefield.* ;;;;;;;)
(Inu Yasha: *looks up at her innocently* Kagome?)
(Kagome: Huh?? *looks back at him nervously*)
(Inu Yasha: Feh! *he smiled and patted the blanket next to him* Sit girl!)
(Kagome: *glancing at the battlefield nervously, she slowly walked over and sat next to him taking her glass and held it like a martini* Ah…Inu Yasha?)
(Inu Yasha: ^_^ Yes?)
(Kagome: Uh….*a couple of the crows land on a tree behind him and look down at her with beady eyes* OO;;;;;;; Inu Yasha?!)
(Inu Yasha: *glances over his shoulder at the birds and frowns* Hey! *picks up a rock and tosses it at the branch they're sitting on and they scatter like sheep* Lousy vultures…I hate birds….
(Kagome: *Still a little bit disturbed*)
(Shippou: *hides behind Kagome as the crows scatter and fly in different directions cackling* brrrrr! Scary!)
Cooking for your date can show them you have the patience and tender care of a chef. It'll impress them and even though I hate the phrase, it's true that nothing says lovn' like something from the oven…
What you serve shows your personality. Kiwi and peperment sandwich triangles sends signals of sensitivity and a need for proper order in life. If you're a guy and your serving said food you're either gay or you're from Austrailia…
(Shippou: What?!? O_o ;;;)
Salads are a the same, though salads are a little more sensual then sandwiches with a pure nature….Sort of like Pure Darkness or Black Light….
(Shippou: I'm lost.)
(Inu Yasha: Catch up, I ain't repeating myself…)
Ramen, Rolls, or noodle salad represtent a down to earth person, energy, life….Fruit cocktail, strawberry short cake, and other fruit based deserts represent a fun personality, perky, sweet, interesting…..Caesar Salad, Vegetarian Pizza, or even a Baked Potato are liberal foods, also down to earth in a way, representing a more intellectual person…..
(Shippou: Um, question?)
(Inu Yasha: In a second Shippou…)
….Ice Cream, Cheese Fries, or foods with the soft milk taste represents a gentle loving nature, a person interested in the opposite sex if not for sexual reasons then for artistic reasons……..Tacos, Steak, Shrimp, these are foods of strong willed individuals, adventurous, intrigued, and energetic…..And to top if off, with deserts, sodas, Tiramisu, cakes and cream are sex oriented and/or describing a giving or friendly person with many interests.
(Shippou: Okay, I'm confused. How is it you know so much about food all of a sudden. And why are you giving characteristics to food?! You just told everyone a few chapters ago that zodiac stuff was crap!!)
(Inu Yasha: *bops Shippou on the head*)
(Shippou: Darn you!! T_T!)
(Inu Yasha: *reaches into the basket and hands Kagome a bowl of ramen*)
(Kagome: Wow! Thank you, Inu Yasha! Did you cook this yourself?)
(Inu Yasha: Yeah…*holds up his hand. The tips of his middle and fourth finger are scorched red*)
(Kagome: O_O *gasps* What happened??)
(Inu Yasha: Well….I….*a bit embarrassed about it*)
(Shippou: Let's put it this way, Kagome….He can handle a huge sword but he's not very graceful in the kitchen.)
(Inu Yasha: *holds up a fist* You!!)
(Shippou: GAH!! *runs and hides even though Inu isn't chasing him*)
(Inu Yasha: *cheeks only a little bit red, glares at where Shippou disappeared* So I can't cook well!! I accidentally touched the hot plate, that's all!)
(Kagome: *reaches out and grabs his wrist. She pulled his hand over and examined the fingers* You poor thing! Does it hurt?)
(Inu Yasha: *a little bit confused* ……)
(Kagome: *looks up at him concerned*)
(Inu Yasha: Well….*embarrassment turns to butterflies in stomach.*)
(Kagome: Here…*reaches into her backpack and pulls out a bottle of hand lotion*)
(Inu Yasha: Aw, come on Kagome! That stuff's for chicks!)
(Kagome: Shhhh…..*puts some of the lotion on his palm and massages it into his hand* This lotion is good for you, see? It's like a healer it'll make the burn feel cooler and it'll help it get better. You're lucky I had this with me today, I remember thinking that I was going to need it, but-)
(Inu Yasha: *the hand massage feels good. His eyes roll back and he vegetates in a void of comfort*)
(Kagome: -and actually –hehe ^__^…I almost brought the really strong scented stuff, but you complain about how strong the smell is everytime I use it so, well yeah, that's why I didn't bring it, what do you think? *looks up at him and his blank sleepy expression* Inu Yasha?....)
(Inu Yasha: *staring out into space*)
(Kagome: *snaps her fingers in front of his face and waves her hand* Hello? Earth to dog boy? Are you listening??)
(Shippou: I think he's in acoma….)
(Kagome: *picks up her grape soda and throws it in his face*)
(Inu Yasha: HEY! *snaps out of it* What did you do that for?!?)
(Kagome: Well you we spacing! I didn't know what else to do!)
(Inu Yasha: Feh!)
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Question and Answer
Question #1 From Foxterr: What do you do when you like a co-worker, and he likes you back... but two additions... you're against dating people you work with, and he's got a girlfriend!! @_@ Answer that one for me!
Inu Yasha's Answer: First of all, Refer back to where not to find a date. NOT AT WORK!! And you may say, "He likes you back" but if he already has a girlfriend, that's cheating and not only might he be wanthing things from you that he cannot get from her, but he could just as easily drop you for her or vise versa. And guess who she's going to take revenge on? Who she's going to blame? If you know her personally, it'll be both of you. There is nothing scarier then a woman seeking revenge. O_o
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Question #2 From kate: so tell me, inuyasha, how can i get a guy to ask me out on a date?
Inu Yasha's Answer: Well kate, by reading this book you can learn everything you need to know about asking a guy on a date.
There! ^_^ That was easy!
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Question #3 From k: How do ya get over a crush?
Inu Yasha's Answer: K, there are many ways to get over a crush. Some chose to get black revenge, some go looking for another crush right away to replace the feeling of emptiness, some stalk their crush until they crack and give in to their demands…..but really, you don't need another person to make you feel good. That person can still be your friend unless he or she is a jerk then just ignore them. One way to get revenge is to show how much better off you are without them, acting like you never knew they were gone, or achieving enlightenment. Newly free singles will say that being single is less complicated….and easier on the mind…
Question #4 From SoDaPoPGuRu20: Anyway,I have a crush on a girl who is 2 years younger than me.I am about to go through puberty,and I just want to know what does what in terms of amting? thnx.
Inu Yasha's Answer: If I'm not mistaken, mating in your time period at that age is a bit young….unless your 18 or something and you still haven't started puberty…that usually sucks…
If you haven't started puberty yet, the change of pups coming is not very likely. Good thing you found out now, huh?
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Question #5 From K-chan: Hey, can you have two mates? 'Cause I know this one hanyo really well, but his brother (half-brother actually)
is so sexy, (I mean the fur, the marks, m) But how do I do both?
Kagome Hirugashi
Inu Yasha's Answer: Two mates? Only if you think you can handle it. I mean, two mates can be a big responsibility, and…..wait a minute….O_O Kagome?!
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Question #6 From Gemini Hanyo: if you, Inuyasha, Yes I am talking DIRECTLY TO YOU! Try to have both Kagome and Kikyou, wouldn't it result in a cat-fight?
Inu Yasha's Answer: They already fight! Why the heck do you think I look nervous whenever they meet?! The thing is, if I were to interrupt a cat fight, guess who it would turn on….you know what? That is also non of your business! *crumples up review and tosses it over his head*
Shippou: Litterer!!
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Question #7 From Anandria: Doctor Inu, Why is it that whenever *you* talk to Kagome, you put your foot in your mouth and insult her? Why Exactly do you do that?
Inu Yasha's Answer: I have absolutely no idea what you are babbling about, wench. *tosses letter over his head*
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Question #8 From Anandria: Why do you get jealous of a kitsune kit?
Inu Yasha's Answer: Jealous?? Why would I be jealous of a mouthy little whelp like him?? Just because Kagome thinks he's cute, gives him candy, takes bathes with him, tickles him, and reads him bed time stories doesn't mean I'm jealous of him!!! Cobbers, this isn't even a question about mating!!
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Question #9 From Anandria: Why do you pine over an undead-soul-stealing-bitch?
Inu Yasha's Answer: ……*reads letter* I don't get it. Who's she talking about???
Shippou: - -
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Question #10 From Ishizu Sango Halliwell: Hey Inuyasha, is it bad to love somebody who isn't real?
Inu Yasha's Answer: What do you mean? That's a vague question. If by not real, you mean only a thought in the mind and nothing more then sorta. Psychological stuff is not my forte, but I can say that it's a common habit among people all over the world. Compare it to girls pining over boys in boy bands that they'll probably never ever meet in real life or a person who speaks to another person only through the internet…some people say it's different, I say it's the same thing. This is just my thoughts, there are different insights on this but all it is, is the need for love so technically it's not weird….especially if love is blind.