A/N: Hello again! How long's it been now? Two, three decades? *hangs head* I am a bad author. I apologise. I won't give you all the blathering crap about how busy I was…

TO MY REVIEWERS: Lots of you this week (ha! More like century!). Thanks to DawningImage, artylover108, Kelaal, chrysgurl (calm down! It's here!), BeWaReOfBlOnDe007, The Oracle, TrisaniSlytherin, becca, Crazygirly007, EMQU (I'm just gonna use the abbreviation if you don't mind Freya… your name is really quite long…), Eleida, Mage Kitty and Tie Kerl. *throws out arms and advances to hug poor unfortunate reviewers* I love you guys… And to address a couple of the issues raised in several reviews… *shrieks* KILL HOLLY? ARE YOU NUTS??? OF COURSE I WOULDN'T KILL HER!!! She's the best character in the entire thing, my personal hero, and the most fun to write, and you think I'd kill her? Believed dead, re-incarnation, near-death experiences I have no problem with. But permanent death? (I've been watching waaay too much Buffy for my own good…). And to the other issue… *gags* no, definitely no Holly/Root here. That BFW fic with the cannibalism and the… *retches* oh frell… that put me off an actual relationship between them for good. However, I am not immune to one sided, alcohol/drug/magic induced feelings and actions. That I call comedy and torturing Holly in ways unimaginable to her. Muahahahahaha. How about we just say there will be NO pairings? I really hate that stuff. I like to think this is a romance-free story. Perhaps very mildly not in the last chapter, but it will be short, and there will be no face sucking. And no pairings OK, NONE.

*****

Root took point as the three fairies left the room, with Foaly taking up the rear, and Holly sandwiched between the two. Suffice to say that she was not best pleased. Obviously she was not yet trusted to be perfectly fit, and healthy enough to look after herself. There was no point arguing though. Commander Julius Root had a will of steel.

They came to a crossing, with three new routes to take. Holly opened her mouth to ask who should take which way, but was cut off by a glare from her two companions. Root seemed to read her mind. Maybe it was the after-effects of the soulswap, or maybe he'd just been on too many assignments with her. It was hard to tell. "Oh no, Captain." he said, half-amused. "I'm not letting you out of my sight, not after the mess you got yourself into back there in the freezer. We go together."

"But sir, that was not strictly my fault." protested Holly through gritted teeth. "I just happened to meet more goblin resistance than you two."

"Actually, Holly, I think there was more to it than that." Foaly cut in, before either party could develop the argument into an all-out brawl. The elves turned to him, one with annoyance, one with the customary barely-tolerance. "It's no coincidence you've been getting more trouble than us. You're being targeted specifically."

"How did you work that one out, Einstein?"

The centaur's face remained impassive. "Even if you refuse to admit it, they're treating you differently from us. If they just wanted to kill you, why would they take all that trouble to shoot you with an MS, not let you drown, and lock you in that freezer?

Holly glared at the centaur. Was he determined to make life difficult for her? "You're just jealous you missed out on the action, Pony. I'm not a 'target'. Those goons are trying to kill us all."

Foaly shook his head in that annoyingly smug way of his. "No, you're wrong. I don't know if you noticed, Commander, but when we found the goblins outside the pool, they adjusted their settings before they countered our attack. When they were shooting at Holly, they were set to stun. With us, it was to kill. Coincidence?

"Well maybe this freak is just anti-feminist. I'm a bit of a political target for people like that anyway. It's not like I don't have that threat hanging over my head every day." Holly snapped. "You didn't seem too bothered about it until I stepped into this damn dress!"

"Now, now children…" said Root, stepping in so that he was between the two. "Short, just accept the fact that whatever you say, you will be ignored, so zip it, and save your strength for the enemy. Foaly, I think you've made your point… now do you have anything useful to contribute?"

Foaly gritted his teeth against the slight, and Holly turned away in disgust. D'Arvit, it was so typical of the male race… give a girl a bit of slap and long hair, and suddenly she was incapable of going anywhere or doing anything on her own without an escort.

Root was still waiting for an answer from Foaly, fully aware that both employees were extremely pissed off. Foaly braced himself for the barrage of abuse, and voiced his next theory.

"When we were patrolling as individuals, I heard a goblin talking to his warty friend about 'The Eye', aka the 'All-Seeing-Eye'. He's the guy behind this, I'm sure.

Root raised an eyebrow. "And who the hell is that?"

Foaly rubbed his hairy palms together. "Well, that's the second part of the theory. The Eye is a very little known underworld criminal, and he just doesn't have an identity. This is one secretive perp. No-one knows who he really is, or how powerful. But I think I can answer the former." He paused theatrically. "I have reason to suspect that Basil Kobalde is the Eye. This is his manor after all. And he certainly has enough cash."

Holly turned round, and walked back to them, anger at Root forgotten. "Yes, he definitely fits the profile… scheming, secretive, lying, cheating, sly, grudge against all females, seemingly me…"

Foaly shook his head. "I think the motive is more complicated than that. From what you told me about what happened, he should have no reason to hate you."

Holly's eyes flashed at him, and Root started to look uncharacteristically interested. The last thing she needed was for that to be brought up now…

"I don't pretend to know how Ba - " Holly caught herself just in time. " – Kobalde's mind works. I just know one thing; he hates me. He's hated me for over ten years. There's nothing more complicated than that."

Foaly waggled his finger infuriatingly. "Oh no, I don't think that's it. He was the one who hurt you." He paused, thinking of the best way to put his next sentence without losing any vital organs or limbs. "We need to find out why he's got a grudge against you, and to do that, you need to tell us what happened. All of it."

Holly's complexion went from white to scarlet in a matter of nanoseconds. "That's ridiculous!" she snarled. "You just want to know all the juicy details. How can knowing why he hates me possibly help bring him down? That is still the mission statement, isn't it!"

"Actually, Captain, the pony has a point." Root ignored the chin dropping caused by this sudden admittance. "If we are to predict his next move, and how he will act, we need to know as much about him as possible. You are the only one who actually knows anything about him. If we're going to get anywhere, we all need that information."

Holly ground her teeth together so hard that they were clearly heard by the others. "Why don't I just summarise the junk, and give you a character profile?"

Root shook his head, trying to keep a vindictive smile from his lips. "No. You're too biased. Look, Short, this isn't going to go your way, so why don't we just save some time, and get on with it?" Holly opened her mouth to argue. Root sighed. "That's a direct order Captain. Just tell us."

Holly clenched her jaw, and looked away. "What is there to tell? He was my best friend's boyfriend, I was attracted to him for reasons I can't quite fathom, he got me on my own, he kissed me, he told me he loved me, then he did a runner on both of us. He vanished from my life for ten years, and then he tries to kill me. There's nothing else to say."

Foaly shook his head. "Oh come on, Holly. You can do better than that. That's not the full story and you know it. We need more detail if this is going to help us."

The look she gave him was malevolent enough to melt through a fifty metre thick sheet of ice in a millisecond. "Fine. Whatever." She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the complete exposure of her private life. "Carmen met him at a restaurant she was waiting tables for. He was four years older than the two of us – we were both 70, and he was 74. They fell in love, dadedadeda, and eventually he moved in with us. For some reason I fancied him, and it hurt to see them together sometimes, but there was nothing I could or would do about it. I think he saw it though. I'd catch him looking at me strangely sometimes. I was just very careful around him, avoided being alone with him, or talking about certain things with him… standard stuff. Carmen trusted me completely though. I don't think she even saw it at first. So, after a few months, I got home from a bad day, and I was tired, grouchy and stressed. Carmen wasn't there, so it was just the two of us, but I didn't care. He offered to…" Here, Holly paused, and blushed even redder. "… To give me a… massage, as he could see I was stressed."

Root groaned out loud. "Oh come on, Holly! I can't believe you fell for that! It's the oldest, cheesiest trick in the book!"

Holly took a moment to glare at him. "I know that!" she snapped. "But I was tired, I wasn't thinking straight, my guard was down, and I needed to vent the tension." She looked away again, preferring not to make eye contact. "So anyway… I wasn't worrying about anything, and he suddenly kissed me. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and what about Carmen, and he just…" Holly squirmed. "… just… shut me up with another kiss. Then he told me that…" Holly swallowed, misery staining her features. She was obviously hating every minute of this. "… He told me that it was me, not Carmen, and that he loved me. Then he kissed me again, and I broke away and locked myself in my room." Holly shook her head in disgust. "And I was stupid enough to let myself believe it was true, that it was finally my turn."

She said nothing for a while, absorbed in her thoughts. Root started to get impatient. "And?" he asked. "Did you… you know… I mean…"

Holly's head whipped round to look at him, disgust written all over her face. "Oh. You mean did I shag him?" Her use of harsh slang made Root all the more ashamed for asking. But he simply locked his jaw and stuck to his guns.

"You could put it that way, yes." he snapped.

For a few seconds Holly was at a loss for words. "Is that all you men ever think about?" she spat finally, eyes blazing with the fire of wrath. "Can nothing ever just be a kiss, and only a kiss? Why does it always have to go all the way with you? It's pathetic! You're obsessed!"

Root let her infuriated ramblings wash over him. "Stop avoiding the question. Did you, or did you not sleep with him?"

Holly growled in exasperation. "D'Arvit, of course I didn't! You guys may not have an unwritten code of conduct, but we do. 'Thou shalt keep thy claws out of thy best friend's man.' It's one of the most important rules! I'd never do that to Carmen."

"So what exactly happened next?" cut in Foaly.

Holly rolled her eyes. Unnecessary, yes, but it made her feel slightly better. "He told Carmen and I to meet him somewhere, at the same time. Then, in public, and in front of her, he told me that I was a fool to think he could love me, and that it really was the lowest thing to snog your friend's boyfriend." Holly bit her lip, the pain still fresh in her heart. "Carmen went very pale and asked if it was true in this little shocked voice. I tried to tell her I was sorry, but she wouldn't listen, she just looked at me like I was the dirt beneath her feet. And then he turned to her, and told her that I wasn't the only idiot, and that she must be blind if she couldn't see that he had no feelings for her, and was only using her for a quick jump. Carmen just ran, and I couldn't follow her. That was the last I ever saw of him." Holly brought her gaze up to look directly at Foaly. "Can you get a psychological profile out of that, centaur?" she snarled.

Neither Root nor Foaly spoke. They were obviously still trying to get their heads round it. Sensing that she wouldn't meet resistance, Holly flicked off her safety catch, and left them standing in the corridor as she stalked off in search of some goblin behind in the need of kicking.

Not a scale in sight. Captain Short ground her teeth in frustration. Typical. The one time she had been allowed to go off on her own and do some serious damage to the enemy, and there was no enemy to damage. The elf was casting disgusted eyes around the immediate vicinity when she spotted a camera, blinking smugly at her.

Holly tilted her head to one side, staring straight at the small piece of technology. Her eyebrows rose of their own accord, and her mouth curved into a malicious smirk. She brought up the laser, aiming it dead at the lens.

"I don't appreciate being watched." she growled, loosing a bolt from the barrel. The lens smashed, and with a small crackle and hiss of gas, the surveillance device was rendered obsolete. Holly blew gently on the barrel of the gun, feeling the need for the age-old macho rituals and clichés. She chuckled softly. She felt somehow a lot better now.

"Ever the trigger-happy, our Captain Short." remarked a voice behind her. Holly spun, weapon immediately levelling at the speaker. Seeing that Foaly and Root had come up behind her, she lowered her gun, though not after some hesitation. She still hadn't forgiven them.

"Done with your discussion of my private life yet?" she hissed, the barbs in her words barely contained.

Foaly ignored her attitude. "Yes, actually, we have. It's pretty obvious really, but you're just too scared to face up to it." The centaur paused to let Holly fume for a few seconds. "The commander and I both agree. He's in definite denial about what he felt for you, and what he still does. He's lashing out at you because he can't admit he still wants you."

Holly's mouth fell open. "You cannot be serious! You weren't there! He does not still 'want' me, and I doubt he even did then! Carmen and I… we were just toys for him to play with, then throw away." She snorted. "And now you tell me he's a poor tortured soul afraid to face his own feelings. Don't give me all that Beauty and the Beast crap, Foaly. Real life isn't like that."

Foaly was unperturbed. "We saw the way he acted around you." He stopped, hoping Root would chip in and deliver the next bombshell. He didn't. "And we saw the way you acted around him. He's not the only one who still has feelings, is he, Holly?"

Captain Short suddenly went very pale, and her eyes widened in horror before she more-or-less got her face under control. "Don't even go there." she snarled, fighting to keep the panic from her voice.

The techie refused to back down. "So it's true then. You do still have feelings for him!"

"One feeling; singular." Holly spat, rage burning fire in her veins. "Hate."

Foaly shook his head. "Stop hiding from it, Holly. You and I both know it was never just a five-minute fling that got out of hand. This goes deeper, doesn't it?"

Holly had stopped trying to hide her desperation now. "Back off, centaur." she growled, retreating slowly and unconsciously away from them, and into a corner. "Just drop it and leave it alone."

Her shoulders pressed against the wall, and Holly glanced quickly behind her. Finding only plaster, she had to bring her gaze back to the two fairies in front of her. A movement to Commander Root's left side caught her eye, and she swung her firearm up, index finger checking the setting and coming to rest on the trigger in one fluid, polished movement. She squeezed and the goblin went down.

Root and Foaly had been alerted to the danger by now. The two trained LEP officers automatically manoeuvred themselves so that they were back to back, minimising the target. Holly indicated with her head for the centaur to get in between them, facing outwards. The small hit squad of five goblins was unconscious in about thirty seconds flat.

Holly pushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "So you say he's in denial and I say he hates my guts. Wonderful. Let's go shoot him." The crossfire had obviously cleared her head. Nothing like a fight to stay alive to sober you up. She made another futile attempt to keep her unnaturally long tresses from her face. "Either of you got a rubber band, or a stick or something?" she asked, fighting the urge to rip the stuff from her scalp. "I really can't go on like this."

With a barely concealed grin, Foaly produced a screwdriver, a length of filament wire and a tiny insulating ring. Holly then proceeded to gather her hair into a ponytail, gripping it in one hand, while selecting the screwdriver with the other. Root and Foaly watched in fascination as she stuck the shaft of the tool into the mass, twisting it to roll the whole lot into a tight ball. Holding it all in her left palm again, she delicately picked the wire from the centaur's palm, tying it round the whole lot to make it more secure. She gave her head a small shake to test it, and apparently satisfied, reclaimed her weapon from her holster.

Catching the look she was receiving, Holly waved her hand vaguely. "You'd be surprised what you pick up with a techie and a hairdresser for friends." She winked at Foaly. "Eh, centaur?"

IN THE BALLROOM:

Trouble Kelp blinked as the room started to sway again. He quickly put down his empty glass, gripping onto the table. He was drunk, and there was no point hiding from it. He just hoped he could find a quiet place to throw up in time.

A hazy memory floated through his intoxicated mind, dancing just out of reach. Captain Kelp, however, was not one to be eluded. He clutched at the thought, and it all came flooding back… about four… or was it five… glasses ago, that blonde girl, the corporal, had asked him to go and find Short, Root and Foaly. Kelp straightened and nodded to himself. Drunk? Ha! Tell that to his brain. Alcohol couldn't knock the Danger-Man's intellect. Oh no.

Staggering slightly, Kelp wove his way to the door he had seen Holly's auburn hair disappearing through. Smiling blankly at the people he passed, he lent heavily on the door, falling through it. Blinking hard, he surveyed the mess.

"Holly!" he yelled, speech slightly slurred. "You're wanted." Slowly he took in his surroundings. Like Holly, the scent of danger cleared his head. "Captain Short?" he called again, though this time there was caution and restraint in his tone. "Commander Root? Foaly?"

By now he was starting to get worried. Stepping gingerly over a shattered vase, he peered into the passage. He snatched a breath at the sight of the pathetic group of trussed-up goblins. They should not have been there at all, let alone in that state, so Trouble assumed it was an ally who'd neutralised them. He moved closer for a better inspection. Neatly and efficiently done. And there was something else. Most of the goblins were wearing small black com-units on their ears, but three of the ten weren't. Trouble grinned. They did not train LEP retrieval officers to miss things. This was the work of trained officers, and he had a fixed feeling that he knew who two of them were. And the missing devices… obviously a techie had been at work here.

Kelp took a few more steps and saw it. Someone had hacked off a length of purple material. Trouble picked it up, running his fingers over the smooth fibres thoughtfully. It matched the fabric of Holly's skirt exactly. So that solved the mystery of where she disappeared to.

Thinking it would be a good idea to arm himself, Kelp bent down to select a weapon when he felt a cold barrel press against his temple. He froze. "Hands in the air and turn around, elf." hissed a goblin voice from behind. The captain did as he was told, and was met by the sight of twenty scale-covered reptiles with an identical look of smug satisfaction and sadism plastered across each ugly face. It was a fearsome sight. Trouble swallowed, seeing no way he could shoot his way out of this one. He decided instead to make light conversation.

"Evening gentlemen." he said casually, weighing up any other options he might have. "What can I do for you?"

They ignored him. One of the vile creatures was busy giving a report to the entity on the other end of the com-line.

"We got a elf here, sir. He wandered out the ballroom and me an' the boys got 'im at gun point." There was a pause. "I dunno…" He turned to Captain Kelp. "You a civilian or a officer?" The elf drew a haughty breath, and said not a word. The goblin turned away again. "He won't say. Right. You want us to fry him? There's only one sir, if we just get rid of him, no one will twi - " The fairy cowered as audible shouting drifted through the air.

"No-one will 'twig'! Are you completely without cognitive abilities? There could be a whole squad of them just waiting for the signal!" The voice grew calm again, and Trouble could no longer hear it.

The goblin could, however. "P-pull in sir? But - "

Before he could get his second word out, the voice started yelling again.

"What did I tell you? No buts! Do you know what I do with insolent, disobedient, idiotic minions like you?" The goblin grew visibly smaller. "I do this!" And with these final words to the unfortunate individual, The Eye bore down on the feeble mind with more power than any brain was ever meant to withstand. The goblin slumped dead to the floor, yellowish liquid trickling from each pointed ear. A thin stream of blood snaked its way down the corpse's chin, dripping on to the concrete floor.

The creature's companions stared in transfixed horror at their former comrade. The ear-piece, however, was far from dead.

"And let that be a lesson to you all!" the voice screeched. "Now get me someone capable of following orders before I am tempted to practice my cranial control skills any further!"

There was a mad scramble to claim the ear-piece. A large fairy with a multitude of graphic and gruesome tattoos got there first. He simply listened to the orders, occasionally asking for clarification. Trouble cursed to himself. How were you meant to learn anything when the speaker on your end of the line didn't hold up his end of the conversation?

"Yessir. Pull in. Got it. Yessir. I'll get 'em all here. Nosir. Yessir. Of course sir. We'll all go in together from the three entrances. Yessir. We'll wait for your orders once we've secured the hostages. Yessir. Got it." Trouble could see this one would go far if he survived the incident. The ability to repeat orders with an affirmative on the end was very useful in the rent-a-thug business. The new squad leader turned to his team. "Right men. We got the order. We wait for the others to get into place, then we all go in at the same time and grab the suckers." He indicated the LEP officer with his newly swollen head. "Tie that up, and keep it quite. Just don't kill it."

Trouble opened his mouth to protest to this treatment and found someone's smelly sock shoved into it. He should have known these grunts would be unimaginative with their gags. He was led to the door he had so recently come through, and stood helpless as the troops massed.

SOMEWHERE IN THE MANOR:

After five minutes and countless white-walled hallways, the elves and the centaur came to the decision that they were no longer being hunted. This worried them – if the goblin personnel had been pulled out of this part of the manor, they were likely to be collecting somewhere else, like the ballroom. And that was definitely far from good.

After one more corner, Foaly stopped. "This is pointless." he said, and the other two nodded. You didn't have to be an expert in logistics to know that you were being ignored.

Holly turned to look back the way they had come. "My guess is that they've been rumbled and now they have no choice but to pull into the ballroom and go straight to hostages. I just wonder who got out… though I have a pretty good idea." Foaly looked at her expectantly. Root got there first though.

"Captain Trouble Kelp, the LEP's most… enthusiastic officer." Holly grinned. The commander cracked his knuckles. "I think it's time we joined the party again, don't you?"

"Only one problem, sir." Holly cut in. "Does anyone know the way back? I, personally, was unconscious for some of it, through no fault of my own…" She paused to let it sink in. The others rolled their eyes. She just wouldn't let it go… "So I'm hoping one of you two was paying attention. Lost in Basil Kobalde's manor does not seem like an attractive prospect to me. Whatever certain deluded individuals may say."

They ignored the hints. Naturally it was Foaly who held the key. He fixed Holly with a smug look. "It's really very simple, Captain. Ballrooms are always in the centre of the manor so that arriving guests can be paraded through as much of the house as possible. These places are all built to showing off. Now, as we have been travelling roughly around the room on a parallel course, it should just be a matter of finding a way from one to the other… Like that one there." He pointed to an intersection a little further down.

Holly smirked back at him, his cockiness starting to get to her again. They set off towards the corridor, though not abandoning caution.

Suddenly, a voice reverberated through the space. It was undeniably Kobalde's. All three froze, not knowing what to expect. The volume was turned down, and the speaker became coherent to them.

"Now that I have your attention." it said, anger and triumph simmering somewhere under the surface. "Would Holl – sorry, Captain Short come to the ballroom alone and unarmed." The voice hardened. "We have all the people in there at gun point. If in two minutes she does not arrive I will start shooting." The connection was cut, and silence pervaded the air.

Holly swallowed. "Right then." she muttered, absently unbuckling her holster.

Root and Foaly stared at her. "You cannot be serious." the commander snapped. "It's a blatant trap. He's bluffing."

Holly looked at him, the pain of what she knew she would have to do in her eyes. "Are you willing to bet the lives of our friends and colleagues on that theory?"

"This is madness!" Foaly protested, desperately trying to make her see sense. "He'll just kill you, then start shooting them anyway!"

The elf shook her head. "I can't do nothing, Foaly. How am I meant to live with myself if I let them die?"

"D'Arvit, Holly!" growled Root in exasperation. "Stop being heroic! This is not the time!"

Holly gritted her teeth and started away from them. Root darted after her, catching her arm. She tried to pull away but he held fast. "This is suicide." he hissed. "He will either kill you, torture you or…" He paused, knowing she would understand what he was warning her about. It made it worse for Holly that he didn't just come out and say it. She had been trying to forget about that particular risk, and it was easy enough to ignore someone's cautions.

Holly's mouth twisted sadly. "Don't you see?" she whispered, fear pounding through her head. "I have no choice. It's them or me, and I'd say that's a pretty obvious decision. Now, if you don't mind, I have about sixty-five seconds to get there before this is all for nothing." She forced a smile for them. "I'll see you later. Wait about five minutes before you come after me. That's all I ask."

Reluctantly, Root released her arm. With one final, and she hoped reassuring, look, Holly turned and ran down the corridor.

*****

It would seem I'm going back to my old and utterly terrible habits. Cliff-hangers. What I suspect is hideous OOCness. And now to tell you that… *hides* I'm not going to update for ages I think. Let me explain… I'm going to Spain on an exchange next week (which is kind of scary seeing as I can't speak Spanish) and so I won't get it up before then, then I'm going to the Peak District the next week, and then I have a day to breathe before my exchange comes and stays for another week. And then I get dragged down to Devon for most of the two week Easter holiday. (Actually, I wrote that before I went, and now I'm going to Devon tomorrow at sparrow-fart, so it's pretty much the same.) So, you can understand it may be a little longer than even I anticipated. But I will try. Honest. If I survive how *beep* *beeeep* busy I am at the minute (I do not expect to sleep any time soon).

*sigh* right, you're obviously falling asleep due to my inane babblings so I shall bid you all good night and farewell, as I may not be back for some time…

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Luv slime xxx