Tokyo and a New Life
If I had though heaven would last forever, I was hopelessly and painfully wrong. About a year after mother's untimely death, aunt Suguru became pregnant. Suddenly, I became nothing once again. All that was talked about was the baby, though that I would have endured had the congratulatory relatives not come everyday. There had been no way to avoid them for they always seemed to be there, ready to criticize me and appraise the unborn foetus. I began to dislike my future cousin-in fact I began to detest it. My aunt whom I had always thought a kind and just woman did not help the situation. She constantly showed off her swollen uterus to visitors, often forgetting all about me. I couldn't bear it; I felt I was going to explode with grief and jealousy.
About a month before my cousin was born, I took action. I didn't have much money-just enough to get me to Tokyo, but I did have the deeds to my mother's house as well as talent and aptitude for work, there would be a future for me there. The plan was simply to leave in the middle of the night, walk to distance to the station and take the next available train to Tokyo. What next I didn't know. I suppose I would find a part time job, sell my mother's house to pay for a solid education and start a new life. And what a life it was.
I discovered a whole new world there; a world that would shape my future. It was a definite improvement from the secluded and traditional life I had led previously, the city's beat and rhythm filled and inspired me. For me, it was the answer.
My new school was different. It was a respectful public school (I didn't have to money to pay for a private education) with a good reputation. In a way, this school with its lax rules, undefined boundaries and unpredictable nature helped me much more than the strict, confining, almost suffocating private school ever could. By this time I was ready for senior high and enrolled myself in year 11. I was ready for everything life had to offer.
The first day no longer stands clear in my memories but I imagine it was like any other. However, my first week was very memorable. Everywhere I went curious stares would follow, sometimes murmurs as well. But I was used to this, and it did not bother me. For the first few weeks I didn't make any friends, and neither did I wish to. But in the 4th week, something strange and unknown to me happened.
It was lunchtime and I sat myself at the table in the secluded corner where no one went. I began to eat my packed lunch. I was thinking hard and didn't notice the people approaching me. "E-excuse me?" said a young female voice quite close to my ear. I almost jumped in surprise. I looked up. There were 2 of them, a purple-haired girl who looked no more than 13 and a boy about my age. "Excuse me, but can my friend and I sit with you?" I didn't really know what to say, I was not used to people talking to me. My silence was taken as approval and the 2 sat opposite. I went back to thinking and eating my lunch.
To my annoyance I was disrupted again, this time but the boy. "What's your name?" I looked up again; this was getting too strange. But they were waiting so I answered. "Seguchi Tohma." "I'm Sakuma Ryuichi, and this is Noriko. So, are you new?" "Yes" " You speak Japanese well, you don't have an accent at all." "Accent?" I stared at Sakuma-san with what must have been a quizzical, clueless expression. "Your accent, its perfectly Japanese." He offered as an explanation, in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. It didn't really explain anything about this strange conversation we were having; one that was causing me great discomfort. "Should it be anything else?" " I was expecting you to have a thick English accent or something." " But.I'm Japanese." " But your hair." I understood now. The hair. The blond hair, it was always the hair. "It's blond, so what." I shrugged him off, almost in the way of a challenge. "See, Ryu-chan. I told you he was Japanese." "Oh, but I thought he was an international student, that would have been exciting. Oh, well." Now very uncomfortable and slightly offended, I excused myself politely and walked briskly to my locker, wishing never to see them again.
At about the same time, the school was holding auditions both instrumental and vocal for the annual musical production. I decided to try for the piano, mainly for the practise, as I no longer had an instrument myself. I arrived a few minutes early and seeing as the place was deserted, sat myself down on the piano stool and started to warm up with a few easy pieces.
When I had finished the first song, the sound of light applause rang through the large room. I jumped out of my seat and whirled around to find Noriko and Sakuma-san clapping enthusiastically from the stage. My face was burning; I had never played in front of anyone besides my mother. They jumped off the stage and skipped over to where I stood frozen. "Hello Seguchi-san!" said Noriko cheerfully. I forced a smile before greeting both. " Hello Sakuma-san, Noriko." "Hi Tohma-kun! You ran away from us last time." I felt my face go red again, this time out of discomfiture. "Oh, I had to see somebody." I lied quickly; I didn't need any more enemies. "What are you hear for? Ryu-chan's trying out for one of the main parts, and I want to play piano, though I'll play one of the minor roles if I don't get the piano." "I'm also auditioning for piano." "Of course! You were really good, even better than me and I thought I was advanced. Well, looks like I'll have to settle for vocals." Again, I did no know what to say, so I simply said nothing. An uncomfortable silence followed, broken by Noriko. " Hey, look Ryu-chan! Its Mariko, lets go talk to her." So they went and I was left in peace.
We had been waiting for a while, almost 10 minutes, when the music teacher who was going to be conducting the auditions entered. He announced that he would be listening to the singers first and they should enter the little room one by one. Sakuma-san volunteered to be first and after a few minutes he came out looking strangely energized and serious.
It took about half an hour to get through all the singers; most of them had left as soon as they had been. The teacher came out and asked all those who had brought their own instruments to do the same as the singers had done. Most of the remaining students crowded around the room for their turn, but about 5 of us loitered around the grand piano. No one was playing it and I desperately wanted to touch the fine black and white keys again, having not been on such a fine instrument for a long time, but being reserved by nature and reluctant in front of such an audience. I controlled the urge that could only lead to embarrassment on taunts.
Soon it was our turn. The teacher seated himself near the piano and waited the first person. I hung at the back of the group, intending to go last and watched as a boy was ushered forward by his friend. He seemed nervous and started out shakily with more than a few mistakes. The next person was a girl who was even worse than the boy, if that were possible. Noriko went next. She was welcomed by many words of encouragement and I cold feel a little spark of jealousy flicker within me. It would be a lie to say that Noriko didn't have talent, because it was obvious that she did, but she lacked one vital thing-soul. Her music was theoretically wonderful and correct, but the piece she played had no feeling in it and sounded very ordinary. Later, I learnt that it was not that she did not enjoy music, but rather that the classical piece she chose did not match her style at all.
When she had finished and the applause had died down, it was my turn. Shakily I sat down, concentrating on a song, which I had composed myself. I flexed my fingers and placed them on the smooth keys, but did not start. My throat was suddenly very dry and I found that I could not bring myself to start playing. I tried again, but my fingers would not move. "Come on, Tohma! You can do it." I looked up at Noriko. I hardly knew her, but I felt like I couldn't let her down. "You can do it Tohma." I took a deep breath and, with determination, closed my eyes to picture the music. With my eyes still closed, I began. I could feel my fingers dancing across the keys lightly and rapidly in a sequence I knew well. I felt glorified, surrounded by the energy of music-joyous, vigorous and powerful; I was surrounded by my very soul. All too soon it ended and as the last note faded out I opened my eyes as if emerging from a trance. I stood up and, to my great amazement; I was greeted with cheering and applause.
From that day on I ceased to be the 'weird blond', but became more widely known as the 'amazing blond pianist'. No longer was I ridiculed for my small size and blond hair, but my light tresses were an object of envy and my delicate features earned my more than a fair share of admirers. It was a wonderful time for me- acceptance, the one thing that I have always craved and had always been denied me, was mine at last.
If I had though heaven would last forever, I was hopelessly and painfully wrong. About a year after mother's untimely death, aunt Suguru became pregnant. Suddenly, I became nothing once again. All that was talked about was the baby, though that I would have endured had the congratulatory relatives not come everyday. There had been no way to avoid them for they always seemed to be there, ready to criticize me and appraise the unborn foetus. I began to dislike my future cousin-in fact I began to detest it. My aunt whom I had always thought a kind and just woman did not help the situation. She constantly showed off her swollen uterus to visitors, often forgetting all about me. I couldn't bear it; I felt I was going to explode with grief and jealousy.
About a month before my cousin was born, I took action. I didn't have much money-just enough to get me to Tokyo, but I did have the deeds to my mother's house as well as talent and aptitude for work, there would be a future for me there. The plan was simply to leave in the middle of the night, walk to distance to the station and take the next available train to Tokyo. What next I didn't know. I suppose I would find a part time job, sell my mother's house to pay for a solid education and start a new life. And what a life it was.
I discovered a whole new world there; a world that would shape my future. It was a definite improvement from the secluded and traditional life I had led previously, the city's beat and rhythm filled and inspired me. For me, it was the answer.
My new school was different. It was a respectful public school (I didn't have to money to pay for a private education) with a good reputation. In a way, this school with its lax rules, undefined boundaries and unpredictable nature helped me much more than the strict, confining, almost suffocating private school ever could. By this time I was ready for senior high and enrolled myself in year 11. I was ready for everything life had to offer.
The first day no longer stands clear in my memories but I imagine it was like any other. However, my first week was very memorable. Everywhere I went curious stares would follow, sometimes murmurs as well. But I was used to this, and it did not bother me. For the first few weeks I didn't make any friends, and neither did I wish to. But in the 4th week, something strange and unknown to me happened.
It was lunchtime and I sat myself at the table in the secluded corner where no one went. I began to eat my packed lunch. I was thinking hard and didn't notice the people approaching me. "E-excuse me?" said a young female voice quite close to my ear. I almost jumped in surprise. I looked up. There were 2 of them, a purple-haired girl who looked no more than 13 and a boy about my age. "Excuse me, but can my friend and I sit with you?" I didn't really know what to say, I was not used to people talking to me. My silence was taken as approval and the 2 sat opposite. I went back to thinking and eating my lunch.
To my annoyance I was disrupted again, this time but the boy. "What's your name?" I looked up again; this was getting too strange. But they were waiting so I answered. "Seguchi Tohma." "I'm Sakuma Ryuichi, and this is Noriko. So, are you new?" "Yes" " You speak Japanese well, you don't have an accent at all." "Accent?" I stared at Sakuma-san with what must have been a quizzical, clueless expression. "Your accent, its perfectly Japanese." He offered as an explanation, in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. It didn't really explain anything about this strange conversation we were having; one that was causing me great discomfort. "Should it be anything else?" " I was expecting you to have a thick English accent or something." " But.I'm Japanese." " But your hair." I understood now. The hair. The blond hair, it was always the hair. "It's blond, so what." I shrugged him off, almost in the way of a challenge. "See, Ryu-chan. I told you he was Japanese." "Oh, but I thought he was an international student, that would have been exciting. Oh, well." Now very uncomfortable and slightly offended, I excused myself politely and walked briskly to my locker, wishing never to see them again.
At about the same time, the school was holding auditions both instrumental and vocal for the annual musical production. I decided to try for the piano, mainly for the practise, as I no longer had an instrument myself. I arrived a few minutes early and seeing as the place was deserted, sat myself down on the piano stool and started to warm up with a few easy pieces.
When I had finished the first song, the sound of light applause rang through the large room. I jumped out of my seat and whirled around to find Noriko and Sakuma-san clapping enthusiastically from the stage. My face was burning; I had never played in front of anyone besides my mother. They jumped off the stage and skipped over to where I stood frozen. "Hello Seguchi-san!" said Noriko cheerfully. I forced a smile before greeting both. " Hello Sakuma-san, Noriko." "Hi Tohma-kun! You ran away from us last time." I felt my face go red again, this time out of discomfiture. "Oh, I had to see somebody." I lied quickly; I didn't need any more enemies. "What are you hear for? Ryu-chan's trying out for one of the main parts, and I want to play piano, though I'll play one of the minor roles if I don't get the piano." "I'm also auditioning for piano." "Of course! You were really good, even better than me and I thought I was advanced. Well, looks like I'll have to settle for vocals." Again, I did no know what to say, so I simply said nothing. An uncomfortable silence followed, broken by Noriko. " Hey, look Ryu-chan! Its Mariko, lets go talk to her." So they went and I was left in peace.
We had been waiting for a while, almost 10 minutes, when the music teacher who was going to be conducting the auditions entered. He announced that he would be listening to the singers first and they should enter the little room one by one. Sakuma-san volunteered to be first and after a few minutes he came out looking strangely energized and serious.
It took about half an hour to get through all the singers; most of them had left as soon as they had been. The teacher came out and asked all those who had brought their own instruments to do the same as the singers had done. Most of the remaining students crowded around the room for their turn, but about 5 of us loitered around the grand piano. No one was playing it and I desperately wanted to touch the fine black and white keys again, having not been on such a fine instrument for a long time, but being reserved by nature and reluctant in front of such an audience. I controlled the urge that could only lead to embarrassment on taunts.
Soon it was our turn. The teacher seated himself near the piano and waited the first person. I hung at the back of the group, intending to go last and watched as a boy was ushered forward by his friend. He seemed nervous and started out shakily with more than a few mistakes. The next person was a girl who was even worse than the boy, if that were possible. Noriko went next. She was welcomed by many words of encouragement and I cold feel a little spark of jealousy flicker within me. It would be a lie to say that Noriko didn't have talent, because it was obvious that she did, but she lacked one vital thing-soul. Her music was theoretically wonderful and correct, but the piece she played had no feeling in it and sounded very ordinary. Later, I learnt that it was not that she did not enjoy music, but rather that the classical piece she chose did not match her style at all.
When she had finished and the applause had died down, it was my turn. Shakily I sat down, concentrating on a song, which I had composed myself. I flexed my fingers and placed them on the smooth keys, but did not start. My throat was suddenly very dry and I found that I could not bring myself to start playing. I tried again, but my fingers would not move. "Come on, Tohma! You can do it." I looked up at Noriko. I hardly knew her, but I felt like I couldn't let her down. "You can do it Tohma." I took a deep breath and, with determination, closed my eyes to picture the music. With my eyes still closed, I began. I could feel my fingers dancing across the keys lightly and rapidly in a sequence I knew well. I felt glorified, surrounded by the energy of music-joyous, vigorous and powerful; I was surrounded by my very soul. All too soon it ended and as the last note faded out I opened my eyes as if emerging from a trance. I stood up and, to my great amazement; I was greeted with cheering and applause.
From that day on I ceased to be the 'weird blond', but became more widely known as the 'amazing blond pianist'. No longer was I ridiculed for my small size and blond hair, but my light tresses were an object of envy and my delicate features earned my more than a fair share of admirers. It was a wonderful time for me- acceptance, the one thing that I have always craved and had always been denied me, was mine at last.