Again, thanks to my dear dear readers and reviewers… I'd be lost without you, "Kuraku" is the first story of mine that gets so many reviews! You don't know how much that means to me o=^.^=o
Thanks to Guardian Spirit (believe me, they will!), TomomiWolfChocobo (don't wish good luck, I like Bad Luck better ^.^ Hope the third one didn't take too long!), AISH a.k.a. Kitty in the Box (come on, you like cliffhangers, you know it!), Hikari Itsuko (he will, he will... but I hope to keep it in the normal rating XD), Anime Writer2 (argh, always these extravaganzas! ^.^ but thanks for the review anyway), Misura (no, Yu-chan isn't too happy, you'll see… and I'll make him make up with Shuichi, or he'll never get a single line about him from me ~.~), StrawberryPockyPoo (Then... TELL ME WHICH sentences to do better, and WHAT I did wrong... I'll never get better if you don't tell me, so please, be nice and criticize till your keyboard starts to give off smoke!! And thank you SO very much for putting me on your fav-list ^-^), Lostfen (thanks for the good review ^.~), kit-kat (thanks for the compliment, but my English isn't better than yours *bah* ^.~), sayuki (FINALLY someone told me what I did wrong *grins* Thanks, I already changed it… safe and save, argh, stupid spelling mistake ~.~)
Warning: even more OOCness, watching too much episode 8, I guess o.O""
~~~Chapter 3- Akehanareru ~~~
kizutsuku koto ni osorenai
de
furueru yoru ni wa kimi o dakishimete ageyou
dakara
kanashisou na kao wa yamete
kimi no egao o miseteokure
dare yori suteki na boku no taisetsu na sono egao o
Don't
be afraid of getting hurt
On nights then you tremble, I'll hold you close
And so
Stop with that sad looking face
Let me see your smile
It's more wonderful and more precious to me than anything else, that smile
Gackt Camui, "Kimi ga oikaketa yume"
After having put the still unconscious youth into bed, Yuki tried to clean the dirt of his face.
His beautiful features, painfully marred by all the bruises and scratches, were relaxed in sleep. But illuminated by the dim moonlight, the firm set of his jaw showed clearly that his 'sleep' wasn't a natural one.
Yuki sat at his bedside, simply watching his young lover, regret and pain alive in his eyes.
Still, he couldn't understand completely what had driven him to raise his hand against the pink-haired singer.
But whatever his reasons might have been, all the anger and frustration had vanished the moment when he saw that empty, broken look in Shuichi's eyes.
As the dawn slowly arose and the sky outside the window turned from inky black to a bluish gray, Yuki reached out and tenderly touched Shuichi's cheek.
Relieved, he noticed that the youth didn't flinch away from his hand, instead unconsciously seemed to lean closer.
Though worried, because his lover still refused to wake up, Yuki enjoyed these quiet moments, simply sitting in the dark like that and watching Shuichi, his Shuichi, sleep, tracing the soft lips, tenderly stroking the pink hair, affectionately tickling his skin…
If it wasn't for the guilt in his heart, the guilt of knowing that Shuichi's state was his fault alone, Yuki'd have called this paradise…
Here with Shuichi, only the two of them..
Without thinking, he slowly leaned down and gently touched Shuichi's lips with his.
Closing his eyes, he remained still, feeling the warm sweet breath on his skin, content with kissing him… until he felt Shuichi stir slightly, and quickly backed away.
He watched his eyelids flutter and knew that his lover had decided to wake up- what Yuki both waited for and feared.
For now the moment to ask for forgiveness had come, and despairingly he wondered, if it'd be granted.
~~~
Already once, Shuichi had woken up to find Yuki hovering over him, smiling gently, welcoming him back in the world of consciousness.
It also had happened after he collapsed in front of him… but to that time, it turned out to be an illusion, a fantasy made up by his longing heart and mind.
Yuki had been as cold as ever.
So when he awoke this time, he kept his eyes closed at first.
His limps felt sore, his body aching, weakness lingering in his every muscle.
Slowly he struggled to open his eyes, finding it hard to do so because of the blue and black bruises around his right one.
When he saw Yukis worried face over him, he blinked in confusion, wondering if this again was an illusion.
But… it felt so real…
"Yuki…?" He was surprised how hoarse his voice sounded.
What had happened?
Then suddenly the memory of the past night returned with full force and he sat bolt upright- an action he immediately regretted when his body reminded him of his injuries, and he couldn't bite back a pained groan.
"Shuichi!" Yuki rushed forward to steady his young lover when he was about to crumble again, fear written over his features, a fear that made Shuichi's heart jump.
Yuki's hands were on his shoulders, holding him upright, yet clinging to him, as if afraid that Shuichi'd vanish.
Shuichi was almost scared to see all these emotions on his writers face, it rarely happened that the blond showed his feelings, and those moments never were pleasant ones.
Hurrying to comfort his beloved, Shuichi put on a false smile and tried to still his body's trembling.
"Hey, I'm alright, don't…"
"Don't." Yuki interrupted him quietly, leaning closer and pulling the
unresisting youth in a fierce embrace. "Don't…"
Shuichi's worry grew even more; Yuki was acting so unlike himself. "What..?"
"Don't give me that false smile, don't pretend that everything's alright when it isn't. Nothing's alright!" His voice became louder.
"Yuki…" The pink-haired singer repeated softly and shifted slightly so that he could return the embrace, trying to figure out what Yuki meant. "Please, tell me what's wrong…"
But his soft question only seemed to upset his lover further. "What's wrong? You want me to tell you what's wrong?! I HIT you, for god's sake!"
With that, Yuki suddenly let go of him and turned away, burying his face in his hands.
Shuichi almost missed his next words: "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
Only now Shuichi began to realize what had happened… Yuki was feeling guilty!
Guilty for what he did.
Maybe he was right with that, but… Shuichi couldn't blame him.
So he let his arms creep around his lover's back and leaned against him, pressing his forehead against the warm body before him.
"It's alright… shh… it's alright…" Whispering soothing words, he snuggled closer. "I'm not angry…"
"But," Yuki turned, and Shuichi could see the anguish in his eyes, "it's my fault! Nothing of that," he touched Shuichi's swollen cheek, "would've happened if it hadn't been for me! You've got every right to hate me!"
Yuki closed his eyes lest to see his lover's eyes, waiting for the angry words that were to come, certain that this would be the end… when he felt Shuichi's hand on his face.
"Yuki, I told you, it's alright! I'm not angry, really… well, maybe at first, but now… I was just so tired of putting up with everyone, so tired…I can't hate you."
"Why?" Yuki's voice was incredulous, but his eyes were shining with relief and happiness, happiness that Shuichi hadn't turned him away, that he was still with him.
Shuichi's gaze was clear, his voice firm. "Because I love yo—" His sentence was cut short when Yuki's searching lips found his; what the writer couldn't express with words, he hoped to convey by action.
Shuichi's eyes slid close when Yuki kissed him deeply, yet infinitely gently.
After a moment, he started to return the kiss, while Yuki leaned against him, and surrendering, Shuichi fell back onto the soft bed.
A few moments later, Yuki pulled away slightly, letting his lips slid up to his lover's ear.
"I love you," he whispered softly, "I love you," while letting his hands wander aimlessly across his pink-haired lover as his lips tenderly traced his ear and then again found his mouth.
Shuichi forgot how to breath, his head spinning from the intensity of Yuki's caresses, and he blissfully allowed himself to be kissed to the point of complete drunkenness.
He slid his arms around his blond lover, running his hands up the blond writer's back.
After a while, the fire of Yuki's kisses died down, and he was content with holding the singer in his arms, feeling the warm body next to him.
"I'm glad that you're still with me…" he whispered. "Never… no matter the circumstances, that won't happen again, ever!" he vowed silently.
"I know," Shuichi breathed quietly, and this time the smile he gave was a genuine one.
Yuki's embrace tightened, and they were holding each other, for a few moments simply enjoying their newfound closeness in the glow of the rising sun.
Then Shuichi suddenly sighed. "Guess I have to get up; we've practice today," he said and tried to get out of Yuki's arms, yet the writer refused to let go.
"No, you don't," he silenced Shuichi's protest with another kiss. "Look at how exhausted you are, you'd probably collapse again."
"But…"
"No 'buts', I'll call and tell them you need a day off."
"I can't, K will…"
"Maybe a certain American killer won't be too happy about it, but I don't care- it's your health I'm worried about, you baka!" Not waiting for the pink-haired youth to reply, Yuki left the room, and Shuichi couldn't help but smile again.
It seemed as if Yuki was back to his old self; a very reassuring thing.
And actually, it wasn't unpleasant to rest a little longer, he thought with a yawn, snuggling deeper into the pillows and closing his eyes.
~~~
With a relieved sigh, Yuki pressed the key and watched the final chapter of his novel getting saved.
He'd struggled to finish this for weeks, it was part of the reason why he'd been this irritable; and it was only after the incident with Shuichi that he got a good idea for the ending.
Almost as if steam had been released from a boiling pot, his mood was much more lighter since their argument, and inspiration flowed again.
Obviously it wasn't only him, for suddenly a pair of thin arms wrapped around his neck and a head with pink hair appeared next to his face.
"Are you done, Yuki?" Shuichi asked, but Yuki could feel that his beloved singer had news himself.
"Looks like it, doesn't it? So what's on your mind, baka?" he replied.
Shuichi grinned brightly. "I got it! I finally got it!"
"Got what," Yuki said, wondering what the heck the youth was talking about.
"The lyrics! I told you that I needed to write a new song, and this morning I got it!"
Inwardly smiling
affectionately, Yuki pretended to sigh in annoyance. "And I guess I'm the one
to read them?"
He couldn't finish his question when Shuichi already held a sheet of paper with
scribbled word on it in front of his face.
He tried to decipher Shuichi's messy handwriting, finally taking the paper out of the boy's hand.
"So what do you think of it?" the singer asked, both curiosity and fear mingling in his voice.
"You're a lousy writer with zero talent…" Shuichi's eyes saddened at Yuki's words, but the writer continued. "…but even you obviously get better with enough practice," he finished, and was rewarded by Shuichi's genuine, happy smile.
"You really like it?"
Yuki had a hard time to keep himself from grinning as the cheerful singer jumped around behind him with joy, and tried to put on a cold face as always.
"Well, depends on the melody belonging to the lyrics," he told the boy.
"Ano… it's not that I got the melody ready, it's more an idea running around in my head…I didn't write it down yet," the singer said, uncertain of Yuki's answer.
"Then you'll have to sing it."
"I what?" The youth couldn't believe that Yuki actually showed interest in his music.
"Sing it," the blond writer
repeated, and after a last hesitating glance at his face, Shuichi laid his head
on Yukis shoulder and started singing softly, his warm breath hitting Yuki's
ear and making him shiver slightly.
And it was only as his beloved baka whispered those words right into his ear,
that Yuki finally realized the true meaning of the lyrics…
Forget the tears and dreams, I want to search for you…
In an unknown world, I will whisper to you…
The picked-up tragedy I will warm it for you…
Because I want to see your bright smile…
Voiceless love…
I cannot sing well that I love you…
I want to send to my you, that reincarnating melody…
…
~~~ Owari ~~~
I made it! I really made it!! *cheers* Unfortunately, I rarely manage to actually finish a story, but I'm very glad that "Kuraku" belongs into this category. I want to thank you all so much for supporting my first (and up to now only) Gravi fanfic!! *gives each reviewer a glass of Champaign* Kanpai, and thanks, for authors live on three things: air, bread and reviews. XD
The lyrics at the end are taken from the translation of the Penicillin-song "Romance". Listen to it, it's great ^.~Y
Akehanareru is Japanese (of course) and means "darkness giving way to the light of the morning".
Music while typing this chapter: (actually it was written in school XD) Dana Glover "It Is You", Nightwish "Forever Yours", Celine Dion & Frank Sinatra "All the Way", Klaha "Sayonara", Gravitation OST "In the Moonlight" and "Rage Beat", Pierrot "Sacred"