* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I don't think I deserved that." Jack said slowly, rubbing his tongue over his teeth which felt like they'd all been dislodged.
"Are you sure Jack? Think harder."
"Maybe I did." He reiterated.
"Are you sober now?" She asked, wrapping her arms around her knees.
"Are you going to hit me again if I say no?" She gave him a long, measured look. "Yes. Very sober. Never been soberer."
"Have you got your sword?" She said quietly, her eyes on the sea.
"Yeeesh." He slurred slightly. "Why? You can't have it." He said as an after thought.
"Get up Jack. I going to fight you." She said, standing. She grabbed the rum bottle, throwing it away. Jack stood up warily, wobbling slightly.
"Why?" He asked. "What I do? Do I want to know the answer?" He asked fearfully.
"Because I need to hit something." She said angrily.
"Oh, I seem to have lost my shoes." He said slowly. "And my socks. Can't fight with out my shoes and socks."
"Sure you can Jack." Ana-Maria said dangerously sweetly. "You better be able to fight, cause otherwise I'm just going to have to kill you." She drew her sword. Jack attempted a fearful smile.
When he saw she was serious, his expression became one of the very very afraid.
"Bloody woman with anger management issues." Jack said, making the sign of the cross and squinting at her as though predicting extreme pain.
They started, Ana-Maria darting this way and that, her eyes ferocious. Jack, having difficulty standing, did little other then meet her blows. They circled on the beach, and Ana-Maria slowly pushing him further away from the waves. Finally, she darted forward, slashing his left arm. He looked down at the blood.
"Ana-Maria!" He said shocked. He looked from the cut to her and back again.. She shrugged, rolling her shoulders.
"Come on Sparrow, stop dancing, and actually try to cut me."
"I don't want to cut you," He said, but she wasn't listening to him. Her lips were moving, and as they continued, she starting muttering out loud.
"Didn't want me to be a pirate, how dare he. Leave me all alone, no future, doesn't want me, how dare he, bloody Turner." Sparrow's eyes widened, listening to the downpour of words. She was sweating now, Sparrow sword slashing wildly but never touching her. He made a slash at her legs, and she jumped gracefully, bring her sword up so that he barely stopped a blow to the head.
He was sobering up now, working silently to fend of her blows. She was panting, and her blows became more erratic. Finally, she swung the sword wildly with one hand, raising her other to whack him in the face. Sparrow blocked her arm about a second from connecting with her face. She dropped her sword, and starting hitting Sparrow's chest aggressively. Her tiny fists connected again and again, as she growled in frustration. He let her do it, slowly raising his arms around her and holding her to his chest while she shivered.
"Never do it again. Never. Ever." She said into his chest.
"Okay." He replied, closing his eyes and stroking her back with his hand. She sniffed, and nodded turning her head.
"You're bleeding."
"Funny that." He said grinning.
"Sorry."
"Bloody woman taking their anger out on me." He said, looking down at her.
"Do you want another slap?" Jack thought about this for a moment.
"If I say no will you slap me anyway?"
* * * * * * * * * * *
"You know, your slaps are pretty painful." Jack said, carefully reapplying his eyeliner. Ana-Maria was smoothing the sheets.
"I know."
"More painful then most." He raised his chin, checking for the signs of bruising. "And I'm know a bit about slaps."
"I know." She smiled smugly, rearranging the pillow. She turned, placing her hands on her hips. Jack stood, happy with his appearance. She examined him for a moment.
"Come here. It needs smudging." She leant up, rubbing the eyeliner under his eyes just a little bit so that it gave him a smoky gaze. Jack frowned, and bending over to look in the mirror. He looked at his face from a few angles, grinning to confirm that his gold teeth were still there, and stood up proudly.
Ana-Maria tilted her head and smiled.
"Do you know what I thought, when I saw you on that pier in Tortugua?" Jack said advancing on her, placing his hands on her hip. Ana- Maria removed his hat with one hand and raised an eyebrow.
"Something along the lines of, oh no, she's going to hit me,"
"No," Jack said grinning.
"Ow, that hurt." Ana-Maria proposed.
"Well, initially, yes those were my first thoughts. But then I was thinking how good you looked, how I wanted to do this to you again." He leant his head in for a kiss.
"Was that before or after I slapped you?" Ana-Maria asked. Jack fingers ran through the hair near her ear.
"Perhaps a little after."
"Jack! Is all you ever think about when I'm angry is how you want to get in my pants? Do you even listen to me?" Jack made a shifty movement with his eyes.
"Do you want me to say yes?"
"Jack." She said sternly. He rubbed her ear, kissing her consolingly.
"But, really Ana-Maria, the first words out of your mouth, after five years, are 'You stole my ship!'" He placed his hand on his heart, and she bite her lip remorsefully. "And you were so happy to see me last time. Where was it? On Antigua."
"You were saving me from the gallows! I would have been happy to see a big pink elephant dancing in a Easter bunny costume if it had gotten me free." Ana-Maria said indignantly. Jack paused, obviously forming a mental image of this in his mind.
* * * * * * * * * *
Five years after Jack had lost he Pearl, for the first time, he'd found himself thrown of a merchant ship, for reasons he'd rather not disclose, and washed up on a small port in on the island of Antigua.
Nice little port, pleasant people, and enough red coats swarming around the place to make most pirates head for the hills. Jack's swagger (which had managed to develop against the frantic wishes of all pirates) however, was not thrown of by the presence of red coats. Hell, he'd been pissing them of for the last five years, partly when he was bored, and partly by the odours he gave off when he hadn't showered recently.
He walked through the market place, casually commandeering some apples. He tossed one in the air, pursing his lips.
Only problem with towns like this, he thought to himself, was they were law-abiding. Not a fun loving scallywag in the bunch. How was a pirate meant to have any fun? He tossed the apple again, nearly missing catching it, and receiving a scowl from an old woman. Jack bared his teeth at her, and then continued on as though he hadn't done anything strange.
"Oh no, Jack," He started muttering, glowering at the apple as he tossed it. "Taste this apple, it's so good. So sweet and juicy and perfect," He said in a high-pitched tone, mimicking his first mate. "Why don't you have an apple, and I'll have a look at the map, and hey why don't I bloody turn the whole ship against you and mutiny?" He yelled and flung the apple at a wall. "Bloody stupid mutinying apple." He insulted the now mushy spot on the wall.
He looked around him, and raised his eyebrows. There were a lot of people looking at him. He darted his eyes from side to side, and produced his best smile.
"It was all rotten. Grub in it, yuck." He said, and walked determinedly head down though the crowd. His bad mood lifted when he saw a sigh that made him stop and give a second look. "A hanging? Don't mind if I do. I'll just take a little peek." He said, and made for the town square.
Tossing the other apple he'd stolen, he wandered around the back of the crowd. He leant on post, smiling briefly at the young kids on either side of him, and raised the apple to his mouth. He looked up at the gallows, bitting down into the apple, and stopped, blinking a few times to confirm what he saw.
Ana-Maria stood on the gallows, spitting and cussing. Her long hair was tied back loosely, her hands bound. A short fat man was standing, reading out a list of miss-doings. The small crowd jeered slightly, most listening to the adventures the pirate wench with a bored air.
Jack moved closer, pulling a face. He tossed the apple to one side, sidling up to one man. He really didn't want Ana-Maria to see him. She might still be mad about her ship.
"This thief will hang for a cumulation of charges. The charges are as follows impersonating a lady, thievery of said ladies clothes, thievery of a personal jewels, assault of three officers, damage of a generals personals," That one received a life. " Impersonating a member of her royal navy's.." The list continued, and Jack placed his hand across his eyes as he moved closer.
He was conflicted. He didn't want to see her hang, but she was probably still really mad about the whole ship thing. He winced, and raised an arm.
"Mate, I'm going to intervene." Jack said, climbing up next to the portly man. The man scratched his ear nervously, his wig shaking comically as he did this. He glanced at the pirate, obviously unsure as what to do. He looked around the crowd for any Red coats, but couldn't see any. He turned back to Jack, and said a little pompously.
"Oh yes? Why?" Jack tilted his head an opened his mouth. He closed it wincing and tried again. He raised his chin and pulled a half ridiculous mock stern face.
"Because this lady belongs to me." Jack could see Ana-Maria, who was held with her back to him by the executioner, trying to crane her neck around to see who was talking. He drew the portly man to one side, so that Ana-Maria couldn't see him. The crowd was growing interesting now, trying to listen in on the two men's conversation.
"Does she? She said she was not a slave. She said she belonged to no man." The man was looking worried.
"But isn't that what any slave would say?" Jack said confidingly and with the quirk of an eyebrow. The man looked confused.
"Ah, David?" The man called over to the executioner. "Bring the woman here."
"Yes, Sir Douglas," The man said, spinning Ana-Maria and pushed her forward. Her eyes widened when she saw Jack, and she looked ready to spit tacks.
"You! Oh, no, I don't belong to him." Ana-Maria said angrily. "I don't below to that man at all. You," She said, glowering at Jack in a way that said if-I-had-my-finger-free-right-now-you-can-bet-it-would-be-pointed- at-you-face. "You."
"Oh, Ana, how could you embarrass me so." Jack cut her off smoothly, speaking each word extremely slowly, inclining his head towards the gallows, and then the tubby man and raising his eyebrows. Do-you-want-to- hang? He mouthed at her. "I'm going to take you home. We've been worried sick about you." He grabbed Ana off the executioner, giving both men a nice smile, and walking away, continuing his babble of speech. "Now, its back to laundry duty for you. We were wondering where you hid the socks, can't find a pair in the house."
They made it about ten steps, off the parapet and into the crowd when Sir Douglas came to his senses.
"Hold on a minute. where's you papers. That's a criminal there." He shouted. Sparrow turned, raising one hand, the other one making deft work of cutting the rope around Ana-Maria's hand.
"My papers. funny story. Run" He said, shoving Ana-Maria forward. They bolted, hearing the man behind them shout out to Red coats that appeared on the side of the courtyard.
They ran, Ana-Maria dropping the cords, until they reached a fork in the road. Ana-Maria turned to Jack.
"You saved my life." She stated, completely shocked. She grabbed Jack by the dread locks, planted a hurried kiss on his lips. Jack broke away, then paused and kissed her again.
Just then a gunshot rang out behind them, and they exchanged a startled look. Jack raised a hand.
"Not right now love." Jack said, and dashed off into the crowd. He ran for about five blocks, and then realised he'd lost Ana-Maria. He made a loop back around the block, but couldn't find her anywhere. He frowned, and then pulled out the purse he'd flinched of Sir Douglass. Not bad, for a bit of fun after lunch, he said, wandering away.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Yes, but I thought you might be more inclined to say, oh Jack, lets talk about old times, thanks for saving me at the gallows, you stole my ship, slap." Jack said. Ana-Maria rolled her eyes.
"You really know nothing about woman, Jack Sparrow." Jack shrugged, happy to have her in his arms.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I don't think I deserved that." Jack said slowly, rubbing his tongue over his teeth which felt like they'd all been dislodged.
"Are you sure Jack? Think harder."
"Maybe I did." He reiterated.
"Are you sober now?" She asked, wrapping her arms around her knees.
"Are you going to hit me again if I say no?" She gave him a long, measured look. "Yes. Very sober. Never been soberer."
"Have you got your sword?" She said quietly, her eyes on the sea.
"Yeeesh." He slurred slightly. "Why? You can't have it." He said as an after thought.
"Get up Jack. I going to fight you." She said, standing. She grabbed the rum bottle, throwing it away. Jack stood up warily, wobbling slightly.
"Why?" He asked. "What I do? Do I want to know the answer?" He asked fearfully.
"Because I need to hit something." She said angrily.
"Oh, I seem to have lost my shoes." He said slowly. "And my socks. Can't fight with out my shoes and socks."
"Sure you can Jack." Ana-Maria said dangerously sweetly. "You better be able to fight, cause otherwise I'm just going to have to kill you." She drew her sword. Jack attempted a fearful smile.
When he saw she was serious, his expression became one of the very very afraid.
"Bloody woman with anger management issues." Jack said, making the sign of the cross and squinting at her as though predicting extreme pain.
They started, Ana-Maria darting this way and that, her eyes ferocious. Jack, having difficulty standing, did little other then meet her blows. They circled on the beach, and Ana-Maria slowly pushing him further away from the waves. Finally, she darted forward, slashing his left arm. He looked down at the blood.
"Ana-Maria!" He said shocked. He looked from the cut to her and back again.. She shrugged, rolling her shoulders.
"Come on Sparrow, stop dancing, and actually try to cut me."
"I don't want to cut you," He said, but she wasn't listening to him. Her lips were moving, and as they continued, she starting muttering out loud.
"Didn't want me to be a pirate, how dare he. Leave me all alone, no future, doesn't want me, how dare he, bloody Turner." Sparrow's eyes widened, listening to the downpour of words. She was sweating now, Sparrow sword slashing wildly but never touching her. He made a slash at her legs, and she jumped gracefully, bring her sword up so that he barely stopped a blow to the head.
He was sobering up now, working silently to fend of her blows. She was panting, and her blows became more erratic. Finally, she swung the sword wildly with one hand, raising her other to whack him in the face. Sparrow blocked her arm about a second from connecting with her face. She dropped her sword, and starting hitting Sparrow's chest aggressively. Her tiny fists connected again and again, as she growled in frustration. He let her do it, slowly raising his arms around her and holding her to his chest while she shivered.
"Never do it again. Never. Ever." She said into his chest.
"Okay." He replied, closing his eyes and stroking her back with his hand. She sniffed, and nodded turning her head.
"You're bleeding."
"Funny that." He said grinning.
"Sorry."
"Bloody woman taking their anger out on me." He said, looking down at her.
"Do you want another slap?" Jack thought about this for a moment.
"If I say no will you slap me anyway?"
* * * * * * * * * * *
"You know, your slaps are pretty painful." Jack said, carefully reapplying his eyeliner. Ana-Maria was smoothing the sheets.
"I know."
"More painful then most." He raised his chin, checking for the signs of bruising. "And I'm know a bit about slaps."
"I know." She smiled smugly, rearranging the pillow. She turned, placing her hands on her hips. Jack stood, happy with his appearance. She examined him for a moment.
"Come here. It needs smudging." She leant up, rubbing the eyeliner under his eyes just a little bit so that it gave him a smoky gaze. Jack frowned, and bending over to look in the mirror. He looked at his face from a few angles, grinning to confirm that his gold teeth were still there, and stood up proudly.
Ana-Maria tilted her head and smiled.
"Do you know what I thought, when I saw you on that pier in Tortugua?" Jack said advancing on her, placing his hands on her hip. Ana- Maria removed his hat with one hand and raised an eyebrow.
"Something along the lines of, oh no, she's going to hit me,"
"No," Jack said grinning.
"Ow, that hurt." Ana-Maria proposed.
"Well, initially, yes those were my first thoughts. But then I was thinking how good you looked, how I wanted to do this to you again." He leant his head in for a kiss.
"Was that before or after I slapped you?" Ana-Maria asked. Jack fingers ran through the hair near her ear.
"Perhaps a little after."
"Jack! Is all you ever think about when I'm angry is how you want to get in my pants? Do you even listen to me?" Jack made a shifty movement with his eyes.
"Do you want me to say yes?"
"Jack." She said sternly. He rubbed her ear, kissing her consolingly.
"But, really Ana-Maria, the first words out of your mouth, after five years, are 'You stole my ship!'" He placed his hand on his heart, and she bite her lip remorsefully. "And you were so happy to see me last time. Where was it? On Antigua."
"You were saving me from the gallows! I would have been happy to see a big pink elephant dancing in a Easter bunny costume if it had gotten me free." Ana-Maria said indignantly. Jack paused, obviously forming a mental image of this in his mind.
* * * * * * * * * *
Five years after Jack had lost he Pearl, for the first time, he'd found himself thrown of a merchant ship, for reasons he'd rather not disclose, and washed up on a small port in on the island of Antigua.
Nice little port, pleasant people, and enough red coats swarming around the place to make most pirates head for the hills. Jack's swagger (which had managed to develop against the frantic wishes of all pirates) however, was not thrown of by the presence of red coats. Hell, he'd been pissing them of for the last five years, partly when he was bored, and partly by the odours he gave off when he hadn't showered recently.
He walked through the market place, casually commandeering some apples. He tossed one in the air, pursing his lips.
Only problem with towns like this, he thought to himself, was they were law-abiding. Not a fun loving scallywag in the bunch. How was a pirate meant to have any fun? He tossed the apple again, nearly missing catching it, and receiving a scowl from an old woman. Jack bared his teeth at her, and then continued on as though he hadn't done anything strange.
"Oh no, Jack," He started muttering, glowering at the apple as he tossed it. "Taste this apple, it's so good. So sweet and juicy and perfect," He said in a high-pitched tone, mimicking his first mate. "Why don't you have an apple, and I'll have a look at the map, and hey why don't I bloody turn the whole ship against you and mutiny?" He yelled and flung the apple at a wall. "Bloody stupid mutinying apple." He insulted the now mushy spot on the wall.
He looked around him, and raised his eyebrows. There were a lot of people looking at him. He darted his eyes from side to side, and produced his best smile.
"It was all rotten. Grub in it, yuck." He said, and walked determinedly head down though the crowd. His bad mood lifted when he saw a sigh that made him stop and give a second look. "A hanging? Don't mind if I do. I'll just take a little peek." He said, and made for the town square.
Tossing the other apple he'd stolen, he wandered around the back of the crowd. He leant on post, smiling briefly at the young kids on either side of him, and raised the apple to his mouth. He looked up at the gallows, bitting down into the apple, and stopped, blinking a few times to confirm what he saw.
Ana-Maria stood on the gallows, spitting and cussing. Her long hair was tied back loosely, her hands bound. A short fat man was standing, reading out a list of miss-doings. The small crowd jeered slightly, most listening to the adventures the pirate wench with a bored air.
Jack moved closer, pulling a face. He tossed the apple to one side, sidling up to one man. He really didn't want Ana-Maria to see him. She might still be mad about her ship.
"This thief will hang for a cumulation of charges. The charges are as follows impersonating a lady, thievery of said ladies clothes, thievery of a personal jewels, assault of three officers, damage of a generals personals," That one received a life. " Impersonating a member of her royal navy's.." The list continued, and Jack placed his hand across his eyes as he moved closer.
He was conflicted. He didn't want to see her hang, but she was probably still really mad about the whole ship thing. He winced, and raised an arm.
"Mate, I'm going to intervene." Jack said, climbing up next to the portly man. The man scratched his ear nervously, his wig shaking comically as he did this. He glanced at the pirate, obviously unsure as what to do. He looked around the crowd for any Red coats, but couldn't see any. He turned back to Jack, and said a little pompously.
"Oh yes? Why?" Jack tilted his head an opened his mouth. He closed it wincing and tried again. He raised his chin and pulled a half ridiculous mock stern face.
"Because this lady belongs to me." Jack could see Ana-Maria, who was held with her back to him by the executioner, trying to crane her neck around to see who was talking. He drew the portly man to one side, so that Ana-Maria couldn't see him. The crowd was growing interesting now, trying to listen in on the two men's conversation.
"Does she? She said she was not a slave. She said she belonged to no man." The man was looking worried.
"But isn't that what any slave would say?" Jack said confidingly and with the quirk of an eyebrow. The man looked confused.
"Ah, David?" The man called over to the executioner. "Bring the woman here."
"Yes, Sir Douglas," The man said, spinning Ana-Maria and pushed her forward. Her eyes widened when she saw Jack, and she looked ready to spit tacks.
"You! Oh, no, I don't belong to him." Ana-Maria said angrily. "I don't below to that man at all. You," She said, glowering at Jack in a way that said if-I-had-my-finger-free-right-now-you-can-bet-it-would-be-pointed- at-you-face. "You."
"Oh, Ana, how could you embarrass me so." Jack cut her off smoothly, speaking each word extremely slowly, inclining his head towards the gallows, and then the tubby man and raising his eyebrows. Do-you-want-to- hang? He mouthed at her. "I'm going to take you home. We've been worried sick about you." He grabbed Ana off the executioner, giving both men a nice smile, and walking away, continuing his babble of speech. "Now, its back to laundry duty for you. We were wondering where you hid the socks, can't find a pair in the house."
They made it about ten steps, off the parapet and into the crowd when Sir Douglas came to his senses.
"Hold on a minute. where's you papers. That's a criminal there." He shouted. Sparrow turned, raising one hand, the other one making deft work of cutting the rope around Ana-Maria's hand.
"My papers. funny story. Run" He said, shoving Ana-Maria forward. They bolted, hearing the man behind them shout out to Red coats that appeared on the side of the courtyard.
They ran, Ana-Maria dropping the cords, until they reached a fork in the road. Ana-Maria turned to Jack.
"You saved my life." She stated, completely shocked. She grabbed Jack by the dread locks, planted a hurried kiss on his lips. Jack broke away, then paused and kissed her again.
Just then a gunshot rang out behind them, and they exchanged a startled look. Jack raised a hand.
"Not right now love." Jack said, and dashed off into the crowd. He ran for about five blocks, and then realised he'd lost Ana-Maria. He made a loop back around the block, but couldn't find her anywhere. He frowned, and then pulled out the purse he'd flinched of Sir Douglass. Not bad, for a bit of fun after lunch, he said, wandering away.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Yes, but I thought you might be more inclined to say, oh Jack, lets talk about old times, thanks for saving me at the gallows, you stole my ship, slap." Jack said. Ana-Maria rolled her eyes.
"You really know nothing about woman, Jack Sparrow." Jack shrugged, happy to have her in his arms.
* * * * * * * * * * * *