IT'S SO FUNNY YOU GUYS. ALL THE REVIEWS I'M GETTING SAY DON'T KILL BUFFY.
DON'T THINK THAT I'M ONLY DOING THIS JUST TO MAKE PEOPLE MAD. I JUST THINK
THAT SAD ENDINGS ARE GOOD. ANYWAY, HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER. R/R.
Morning came, but the sun did not shine. Rain fell harder than it had ever fallen in California. The thunder roared across the sky as lightning crashed. The storm was out of control. Mother Nature was releasing her wrath on the world. Buffy sat by the window watching the rainfall, the thunder and lightning, and she ceased to exist. She didn't know how a storm could be so powerful. How water could cause so much damage. Nothing in the world existed right at this moment. Nothing but her and the storm. It was like she was in tune with it. It was like her whole life was in that storm. Her darkest fears and her wildest dreams. Her biggest wishes and her most hatred thoughts. Everything was in that storm. Another lightning flash and roar of thunder. The rain fell steadily. Not getting any harder, not slowing down. Suddenly she heard the door open, but couldn't respond. It was like the storm was paralyzing her. Like it had her in a trance. Spike came up next to her and sat down, not knowing what was wrong with her.
"Buffy?" he asked, pushing the damp hair from her face. She had left the window open and the rain flew through the screen, pretty much soaking her. "Buffy sweetheart what's wrong?"
"Look at it" Buffy said, staring out the window. "It's eternal, everything out there is eternal, the trees, the grass, the rain, the sky, the wind, it all comes back, never dies."
"I guess you're right luv" Spike said, also looking out the window. The rain was still pouring heavily. Spike closed the window, which brought Buffy out of her daze.
"Oh, hey" she said; now looking at him.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Spike asked.
"I wish everyone would stop asking me that, I'm fine, I am, I just. . .I'm fine" Buffy said getting up and walking over to her computer.
"What are you doing luv?" he asked, following her.
"Writing a life story" Buffy said and sat down. "Getting pregnant at eighteen, getting married, getting raped, getting pregnant, getting divorced, getting cancer, it's worth writing about don't you think?"
"Yeah, I guess so" Spike said. "Are you hungry, I can make you something to eat."
"Uh, sure" Buffy said. Spike kissed her on her forehead and then went downstairs. Buffy began typing.
'Life in Tragedy and Love'
'My life was. . .never perfect. My parents got divorced when I was sixteen. After that my mother, sister and I moved to Sunnydale from L.A. Once there I found things I never thought possible. True friends, a real life, and most of all love. I met this guy, William, A.K.A. Spike. I fell madly in love with him and I got pregnant. Got married, got raped, got pregnant, got divorced, and got cancer. You say my life wasn't a good one, well you're dead wrong.'
Buffy finished writing her opening statement to her book and stopped. She decided to first go back and remember everything that happened before putting it in writing.
Buffy sat on her and Spike's bed thinking of the earliest memory she could think of before she moved here. It was about two years before she moved to Sunnydale, before her parents were divorced. They were on the brink of it, but hadn't made a concrete decision yet.
*Buffy's Memory*
Buffy sat in her bedroom listing to her parents argue. This was very mush a routine for them nowadays. Buffy tried to concentrate and do her homework, but the yelling and slamming doors was to much and Buffy stopped and put on her headphones. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped. She looked and saw her sister.
"What?" Buffy said, taking off the headphones.
"Want to play a game?" Dawn asked.
"No I don't" Buffy said. Buffy was sixteen at the time and Dawn was ten.
"Oh come on Buffy, please, I'm board" Dawn whined.
"No, leave me alone" Buffy said and put her headphones back on. Dawn sighed and went over to her side of the room and started playing with her dolls.
*End Buffy's memory*
Buffy felt bad now for being mean to her sister. She couldn't imagine doing that now. She couldn't believe how much Dawn grew up over the last four years. She couldn't believe how much she did. In those four years she had two kids, been divorced, she just couldn't believe it. Spike came up the stairs the two plates in his hands.
"Here we go, pizza" he said.
"Ooh pizza yum" Buffy smiled and kissed him.
"Hey, so, when are we going to get remarried?" Spike asked.
"When do you want to ?" Buffy asked him, taking a bite of her pizza.
"As soon as possible" Spike said. "Like in the next couple of days."
"Okay, what about. . .Saturday?" Buffy suggested.
"Fine with me, I just want to be married to you again" Spike said and kissed her lightly on the lips.
"Ditto" Buffy said quietly. "We have to promise each other that we won't let stupid things tear us apart again."
"Promise" Spike said.
"Good, me too" Buffy said.
Saturday came slowly, but surly and Buffy and Spike got ready to go to city hall. They didn't invite anyone. They asked Joyce and Dawn to watch the kids and they went by themselves. They just wanted to be married again. They didn't care who was there. They did the ceremony and then they went home. Joyce wanted to keep the kids overnight so Buffy and Spike had the night to themselves. After getting home Buffy sat down and began writing again.
'My life before Sunnydale was good, for the most part. Even though my parents weren't good to each other they were good to us. Well my mom was anyway. My father, well he, he didn't really life being a father. He never spent time with me or my sister Dawn. It was like we didn't matter, nothing mattered except his alcohol.'
Buffy was interrupted by Spike coming up the stirs with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine.
"Here we are luv" he said.
"Ooh wine, yummy" Buffy said happily.
"Yeah well this bodes celebration, us getting married again" Spike said and poured two glasses of wine and handed one to Buffy.
"Thank you" she said and took a sip of it and then kissed Spike. "I love you."
"I love you too baby" he said. He took the wine glass from her and put his and hers on the table and kissed her passionately. He leaned into her and they laid back on the bed as he left her mouth and trailed down her neck. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep until he reached her spot. The place at the very base of her neck. He began nibbling on it lightly. She moaned quietly and put her hands around him pulling him closer. He trailed the kissed back up her neck and reached her mouth. His tongue slid into her mouth to meet hers. She breathed deep in and then out into his mouth. A moan escaped from deep within his chest as he pulled her closer with one hand. With his free hand he began unbuttoning her sweater.
Buffy woke the next morning and Spike wasn't there. A piece of paper was lying on the bed next to her. She picked it up and read it. It was from Spike. He told her that he went to work and that he would be home at five, and not to worry, that he would pick up the kids. She got up and decided to write some more, but not about L.A. or her life there. She wanted to write about her life here. The most critical things happened here. It was weird that she spent most of her life in Los Angeles, sixteen years living there, and it wasn't until she moved to Sunnydale that everything started happening. Even though she'd only been here for almost three years, sixteen years worth of things had happened to her. She found that concept kind of ironic. She sat at her computer and began to write the third chapter of her book.
'Moving the Sunnydale was hard for me. I felt like my whole life was being changed and not for the better. Things just didn't make sense. I didn't know why my parents were getting divorced, and why we had to move. I didn't know why my father couldn't of gone. He got to keep the house and my mother, Dawn and I had to move to this weird town. But in the midst of everything that was happening, I didn't see what was transpiring. I was falling in love. It was hard for me to accept though because after what had happened with my parents, I was afraid of love. It scared me to think of my heart in someone else's hands. To depend on someone else. To know that I lived only for them. I didn't want to be that type of person. After tears and mistakes I realized that it was the fear that was keeping me from being happy. I finally broke down. I needed to love. Needed to feel loved. I opened my heart to him and he took it and I was safe. Knowing that fact I felt it. I felt safe, protected. I wanted to feel, feel something. And I did. He has given me so much. A wonder marriage, a beautiful little girl, and a life that wasn't filled with pain and desolation. He has been my savior over the last three years years, and for this I thank him. My husband William Randall Bryson. He is everything in this world that is good and pure. Everything that is safe and warm. And everything that makes you want to get up the next morning. He is my knight in shining armor, my prince.'
Buffy finished writing about Spike and she remembered the last time she had written about him. Her essay for creative writing. She went into her closet and retrieved the essay and compared them. In the last one she was mostly writing about how much she screwed up and how he would probably never love her, but in this one she was writing about how much he has saved her. Made her believe in love. She saved what she had written and put the other essay back in its place. She got out an old photo album and looked it over. Looking at the pictures of her and her family she could feel tears staring to fall. What was she going to do. She would be dead in a few months. She wouldn't see her daughter grow up and have her first date. She wouldn't see her son hit his first homerun. She wouldn't be there for anything. She looked at the prom pictures of her and Spike. It seemed like so long ago. So long ago that she was just a kid. She had had to be an adult for so long that she forgot about childhood. Forgot about adolescence. She just focused on what was important. Her family, her friends, her husband, her daughter and son. Nothing else mattered to her. Nothing could. She just wanted them to be okay. Honestly she didn't care what happened to her, as long as they were okay. As long as they were safe and happy and content she didn't care.
Morning came, but the sun did not shine. Rain fell harder than it had ever fallen in California. The thunder roared across the sky as lightning crashed. The storm was out of control. Mother Nature was releasing her wrath on the world. Buffy sat by the window watching the rainfall, the thunder and lightning, and she ceased to exist. She didn't know how a storm could be so powerful. How water could cause so much damage. Nothing in the world existed right at this moment. Nothing but her and the storm. It was like she was in tune with it. It was like her whole life was in that storm. Her darkest fears and her wildest dreams. Her biggest wishes and her most hatred thoughts. Everything was in that storm. Another lightning flash and roar of thunder. The rain fell steadily. Not getting any harder, not slowing down. Suddenly she heard the door open, but couldn't respond. It was like the storm was paralyzing her. Like it had her in a trance. Spike came up next to her and sat down, not knowing what was wrong with her.
"Buffy?" he asked, pushing the damp hair from her face. She had left the window open and the rain flew through the screen, pretty much soaking her. "Buffy sweetheart what's wrong?"
"Look at it" Buffy said, staring out the window. "It's eternal, everything out there is eternal, the trees, the grass, the rain, the sky, the wind, it all comes back, never dies."
"I guess you're right luv" Spike said, also looking out the window. The rain was still pouring heavily. Spike closed the window, which brought Buffy out of her daze.
"Oh, hey" she said; now looking at him.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Spike asked.
"I wish everyone would stop asking me that, I'm fine, I am, I just. . .I'm fine" Buffy said getting up and walking over to her computer.
"What are you doing luv?" he asked, following her.
"Writing a life story" Buffy said and sat down. "Getting pregnant at eighteen, getting married, getting raped, getting pregnant, getting divorced, getting cancer, it's worth writing about don't you think?"
"Yeah, I guess so" Spike said. "Are you hungry, I can make you something to eat."
"Uh, sure" Buffy said. Spike kissed her on her forehead and then went downstairs. Buffy began typing.
'Life in Tragedy and Love'
'My life was. . .never perfect. My parents got divorced when I was sixteen. After that my mother, sister and I moved to Sunnydale from L.A. Once there I found things I never thought possible. True friends, a real life, and most of all love. I met this guy, William, A.K.A. Spike. I fell madly in love with him and I got pregnant. Got married, got raped, got pregnant, got divorced, and got cancer. You say my life wasn't a good one, well you're dead wrong.'
Buffy finished writing her opening statement to her book and stopped. She decided to first go back and remember everything that happened before putting it in writing.
Buffy sat on her and Spike's bed thinking of the earliest memory she could think of before she moved here. It was about two years before she moved to Sunnydale, before her parents were divorced. They were on the brink of it, but hadn't made a concrete decision yet.
*Buffy's Memory*
Buffy sat in her bedroom listing to her parents argue. This was very mush a routine for them nowadays. Buffy tried to concentrate and do her homework, but the yelling and slamming doors was to much and Buffy stopped and put on her headphones. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped. She looked and saw her sister.
"What?" Buffy said, taking off the headphones.
"Want to play a game?" Dawn asked.
"No I don't" Buffy said. Buffy was sixteen at the time and Dawn was ten.
"Oh come on Buffy, please, I'm board" Dawn whined.
"No, leave me alone" Buffy said and put her headphones back on. Dawn sighed and went over to her side of the room and started playing with her dolls.
*End Buffy's memory*
Buffy felt bad now for being mean to her sister. She couldn't imagine doing that now. She couldn't believe how much Dawn grew up over the last four years. She couldn't believe how much she did. In those four years she had two kids, been divorced, she just couldn't believe it. Spike came up the stairs the two plates in his hands.
"Here we go, pizza" he said.
"Ooh pizza yum" Buffy smiled and kissed him.
"Hey, so, when are we going to get remarried?" Spike asked.
"When do you want to ?" Buffy asked him, taking a bite of her pizza.
"As soon as possible" Spike said. "Like in the next couple of days."
"Okay, what about. . .Saturday?" Buffy suggested.
"Fine with me, I just want to be married to you again" Spike said and kissed her lightly on the lips.
"Ditto" Buffy said quietly. "We have to promise each other that we won't let stupid things tear us apart again."
"Promise" Spike said.
"Good, me too" Buffy said.
Saturday came slowly, but surly and Buffy and Spike got ready to go to city hall. They didn't invite anyone. They asked Joyce and Dawn to watch the kids and they went by themselves. They just wanted to be married again. They didn't care who was there. They did the ceremony and then they went home. Joyce wanted to keep the kids overnight so Buffy and Spike had the night to themselves. After getting home Buffy sat down and began writing again.
'My life before Sunnydale was good, for the most part. Even though my parents weren't good to each other they were good to us. Well my mom was anyway. My father, well he, he didn't really life being a father. He never spent time with me or my sister Dawn. It was like we didn't matter, nothing mattered except his alcohol.'
Buffy was interrupted by Spike coming up the stirs with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine.
"Here we are luv" he said.
"Ooh wine, yummy" Buffy said happily.
"Yeah well this bodes celebration, us getting married again" Spike said and poured two glasses of wine and handed one to Buffy.
"Thank you" she said and took a sip of it and then kissed Spike. "I love you."
"I love you too baby" he said. He took the wine glass from her and put his and hers on the table and kissed her passionately. He leaned into her and they laid back on the bed as he left her mouth and trailed down her neck. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep until he reached her spot. The place at the very base of her neck. He began nibbling on it lightly. She moaned quietly and put her hands around him pulling him closer. He trailed the kissed back up her neck and reached her mouth. His tongue slid into her mouth to meet hers. She breathed deep in and then out into his mouth. A moan escaped from deep within his chest as he pulled her closer with one hand. With his free hand he began unbuttoning her sweater.
Buffy woke the next morning and Spike wasn't there. A piece of paper was lying on the bed next to her. She picked it up and read it. It was from Spike. He told her that he went to work and that he would be home at five, and not to worry, that he would pick up the kids. She got up and decided to write some more, but not about L.A. or her life there. She wanted to write about her life here. The most critical things happened here. It was weird that she spent most of her life in Los Angeles, sixteen years living there, and it wasn't until she moved to Sunnydale that everything started happening. Even though she'd only been here for almost three years, sixteen years worth of things had happened to her. She found that concept kind of ironic. She sat at her computer and began to write the third chapter of her book.
'Moving the Sunnydale was hard for me. I felt like my whole life was being changed and not for the better. Things just didn't make sense. I didn't know why my parents were getting divorced, and why we had to move. I didn't know why my father couldn't of gone. He got to keep the house and my mother, Dawn and I had to move to this weird town. But in the midst of everything that was happening, I didn't see what was transpiring. I was falling in love. It was hard for me to accept though because after what had happened with my parents, I was afraid of love. It scared me to think of my heart in someone else's hands. To depend on someone else. To know that I lived only for them. I didn't want to be that type of person. After tears and mistakes I realized that it was the fear that was keeping me from being happy. I finally broke down. I needed to love. Needed to feel loved. I opened my heart to him and he took it and I was safe. Knowing that fact I felt it. I felt safe, protected. I wanted to feel, feel something. And I did. He has given me so much. A wonder marriage, a beautiful little girl, and a life that wasn't filled with pain and desolation. He has been my savior over the last three years years, and for this I thank him. My husband William Randall Bryson. He is everything in this world that is good and pure. Everything that is safe and warm. And everything that makes you want to get up the next morning. He is my knight in shining armor, my prince.'
Buffy finished writing about Spike and she remembered the last time she had written about him. Her essay for creative writing. She went into her closet and retrieved the essay and compared them. In the last one she was mostly writing about how much she screwed up and how he would probably never love her, but in this one she was writing about how much he has saved her. Made her believe in love. She saved what she had written and put the other essay back in its place. She got out an old photo album and looked it over. Looking at the pictures of her and her family she could feel tears staring to fall. What was she going to do. She would be dead in a few months. She wouldn't see her daughter grow up and have her first date. She wouldn't see her son hit his first homerun. She wouldn't be there for anything. She looked at the prom pictures of her and Spike. It seemed like so long ago. So long ago that she was just a kid. She had had to be an adult for so long that she forgot about childhood. Forgot about adolescence. She just focused on what was important. Her family, her friends, her husband, her daughter and son. Nothing else mattered to her. Nothing could. She just wanted them to be okay. Honestly she didn't care what happened to her, as long as they were okay. As long as they were safe and happy and content she didn't care.