OKAY, I KNOW THAT THE LAST PART OF THE STORY WAS KIND OF LIKE A EPILOGUE,
BUT THIS IS JUST ANOTHER I GUESS, ENJOY!
Life in Tragedy and Love ~ Chapter One
'My life was. . .never perfect. My parents got divorced when I was sixteen. After that my mother, sister and I moved to Sunnydale from L.A. Once there I found things, I never thought possible. True friends, a real life, and most of all love. I met this guy, William, A.K.A. Spike. I fell madly in love with him and I got pregnant. Got married, got raped, got pregnant, got divorced, and got cancer. You say my life wasn't a good one, well you're dead wrong.' ` "She's Thirty-one, a mother of four and her poignant life story has touched us all. With the release of her book, Life in tragedy and Love, she has became the town's hit, welcoming for her first pre book signing conference, Elizabeth Anne Bryson" the announcer said. Buffy walked up to the table, reporters' cameras flashing away.
"Hello, thank you all for coming" Buffy said.
"Mrs. Bryson, the chapter you wrote in here about Miller Banks says that he raped you and went to prison for it, now that he's out has he harassed you?" a reporter asked.
"No, I haven't heard from Miller for ten years and I hope I never do" Buffy replied.
"Mrs. Bryson, after twelve years of marriage, are you as much in love with your husband as you were at age eighteen?" another reporter asked.
"Yes, I have always loved Spike and I always will, even when we were divorced" Buffy said.
"Is there anytime you wished that you were still in L.A. and not here?" another asked.
"No. . .well when I first moved here I wanted to go back, but there's no Spike there, no Charlotte, Robbie, Sarah or MacKayah, Willow, Cordy, Oz, Xander, my life is here" Buffy said.
"So you're happy?" the girl asked.
"Yes, very" Buffy said.
"Does writing this life story make you regret anything, I mean do you look at your son and see Miller, or do you regret how your life went over the last twelve years?" another reporter asked.
"I guess everyone wants to change things about their life. Everyone has that one desire, that one thing they never got to have" Buffy said.
"What's yours?" the reported asked.
"I regret. . .waking up and not wanting to be in my skin, not wanting to be me, before I moved to Sunnydale things were bad. My parents never got along, I never had a father figure in my life, I guess I would change that if I could" Buffy said.
"Do you still love your son even though he belongs to Miller?" a reporter asked.
"Yes, my family is the most important thing to me, and I love my son very much, Spike and I do" Buffy said.
"What about your friends, your family, if you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?" another reporter asked.
"If I gave them one piece of advice, that I would want them to follow, I'd tell them that. . .it isn't the time you spend doing things, it's what you accomplish when you're doing them, don't be somewhere just to be there, have a purpose, I mean there's a point in everything, it's your job to find it" Buffy said.
"Do you think you have?" another reporter asked.
"I think I have, thirteen years and four kids later it. . .it all seems to come out, you just have to look for it, you have to know where to look" Buffy said.
"And what is it that you looked for?" the reporter asked.
"Life. . .in tragedy and love" Buffy said with a smile.
"Mrs. Bryson" a familiar voice said. Buffy looked slightly to the left and Miller came out of the crowd. Buffy's first instinct was to run, but she didn't. "Is it possible to forgive a crime that has devastated you, if the person who committed that crime has forever regretted it?"
"Some things don't deserved to be forgiven" Buffy said plainly. "No matter how sorry the person is."
"People change Buffy," he said, coming right up to the stage.
"Doesn't mean they deserve second chances," Buffy said, turning off her microphone.
"Can we talk, in private?" Miller asked. Buffy looked around. The reporters had gone quiet. They knew exactly whom Miller was, and were very intrigued.
"Last time you pulled that line in ended in rape, do you not remember that?" Buffy asked sarcastically.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said.
"No, you're not" she said and began to walk off the stage. He quickly climbed the stairs to the stage and grabbed her arm. She gasped.
"Do you think I'd actually try to pull something in front of a crowd of people?" he whispered.
"No, you prefer quiet places, places where no one's around don't you" she said coldly.
"I want to see my son," he said.
"What? Are you kidding? There is no way I am going to-" Buffy began.
"I have a right to see my son," he said.
"No, you don't, you raped me, okay, you took me without my permission, and yes I conceived a child, and that is the only thing that I don't hate about this" Buffy said.
"He's a part of me," Miller said.
"No he's not, he's a good boy, he's sweet, he's. . .nothing like you" Buffy said and walked off the stage. The reporters started talking at once, trying to get both Miller and Buffy attention. Buffy left the room and Miller followed. Spike wasn't there. He had to work, but right now, she wished so much that he was there with her. No one was allowed in the conference room except the reporters. Buffy's family was allowed to sit in another room and watch it on TV. All of this was live on television. When Buffy walked out of the room her mom, sister, children and friends were waiting for her.
"Buffy" Miller said.
"You stay away from her, come on sweetie" Joyce said and led Buffy out of the building.
"I just want to talk" he called after them. Dawn turned to him.
"Go to hell" she said coldly and walked off with everyone else.
Buffy and the rest of the gang arrived at Buffy and Spike's house a little later.
"Mommy who was that?" MacKayah asked.
"Uh, no one honey, just someone who mommy doesn't like very much" Buffy told the six year old.
"Are you okay Mommy?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah sweetie I'm fine" Buffy told her. Sarah was four.
"Are you sure?" Dawn asked.
"Yeah, what time is it?" Buffy asked.
"Uh. . .four-thirty" Willow said, looking at her watch.
"Good, Spike will be home soon" Buffy said.
"I can't believe he had the nerve to come and try to talk to you after what he did to you" Cordelia said.
"Yeah, well Miller's not much for the rationality" Buffy said. "I don't know what he wanted, but I certainly don't trust him."
"What was he saying to you, you two were talking so low at first that I didn't hear?" Dawn asked.
"He wants to see Robbie" Buffy said.
"You're not going to let him are you?" Joyce asked.
"Of course not, he is not coming anywhere near my son" Buffy said.
"Hey guys I'm h-" Spike began, but stopped when he saw everyone's faces. "What's wrong?"
"Honey I need to talk to you, in private" Buffy said.
"Okay, sure" he said. She took his hand and led him to the kitchen.
"Okay, um, well you know that I had that book conference today" Buffy said.
"Yeah, did it go well?" he asked.
"Uh, yeah, I it went fine, but. . .Miller was there" Buffy said.
"What? Did he hurt you? Did he-" Spike began asking.
"No, I'm fine, he was just. . ." Buffy said and then chuckled. "He asked me to forgive him."
"Are you okay" he asked, Buffy sighed.
"Yeah, fine, I just. . .don't want to deal with it" she said and he hugged her.
"Yeah well you shouldn't have to" he said.
"He said he wanted to see Robbie" Buffy said, Spike broke away from the hug.
"You didn't grant permission to that wanker did you?" he asked.
"No honey of course not" Buffy said.
"Good because, it doesn't matter who conceived him, he's my son" Spike said, Buffy smiled and kissed him.
"Don't worry about it baby" she said. "He is not going to come anywhere near Robbie."
"Good. . .so. . .how did the conference go, did they ask a lot of questions?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, but I don't mind, I'm glad people are interested" Buffy said.
"Well it's a great book pet, of course they would be" Spike said. Buffy smiled at him. "You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine" Buffy said.
"Good" Spike said and kissed her. They went out into the living room where everyone else was.
"Everything okay?" Willow asked.
"Fine" Buffy said.
"Good" Xander stated. "I should go, work, Buff, congratulations." With that, he kissed her on the cheek and left.
"Us too sweetie, bye" Willow said and took Taylor's hand. Oz and Willow had only had one child. Cordelia and Xander were still not together and only had one child.
"Bye guys, bye Tay" Buffy said.
"Bye aunt Buffy, bye uncle Spike" Taylor said, then they left.
"Well, ditto to me guys, see ya" Cordelia said and her and Gracie left. Soon it was only Joyce, Dawn, Spike and Buffy and their children. Since Buffy's operation, Dawn had gotten married and had two children, twins Mylie and Michael. They were with their father at home.
"Okay honey, I have to go to the store, so I will talk to you later okay" Dawn said and hugged and kissed Buffy and then hugged Spike. "Bye."
"Bye nibblit" Spike said.
"Bye Dawnie" Buffy said.
Soon Joyce said bye too and left. Buffy made dinner, they ate and went to bed. *Buffy's Dream*
Buffy was sleeping soundly, dreaming of good things. She alarm went off and she turned over to turn it off and there standing was Miller.
"You'll never get away from me" he said in a scary tone and came at her.
*End Buffy's Dream*
Buffy woke suddenly with a gasp. As she did, Spike did also.
"Honey what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing I just. . .I had a nightmare that's all" Buffy said.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine" she said. He put his arm around her and they both laid back down together. Buffy had a little trouble falling back asleep, but she finally did.
Buffy woke the next morning and went downstairs and sat on the balcony, just watching the sun coming up. No one else was up yet. She just wanted to be alone for a while. Seeing Miller again meant something. Everything happened for a reason. Did this mean that she was meant to forgive him. She was an easygoing person, she could forgive most people, but not him, not for this. She sighed and looked towards the rising sun. 'God what does this mean?' she asked herself. Suddenly the phone began to ring and she got up and answered it.
"Hello?" she said.
"Buffy" Miller said.
"What the hell do you want?" she asked harshly.
"You know what I want" she said.
"Leave me and my family alone" Buffy told him.
"I just want to see my son" Miller said.
"You don't have a son, the only son I have belongs to me and Spike, I'm hanging up now" she said and began to hang up.
"Wait, you know Buffy if I wanted to I could make your life very miserable" he said.
"Are you threatening me?" she asked.
"I'm just saying" he said.
"You know what, I'm going to the police today and getting a restraining order against you, I'm getting my number changed, unlisted, if you don't leave me alone I'll have you arrested" Buffy said.
"I just want forgiveness Buffy" he stated.
"You raped me, there is no forgiving that" she said.
"Look I did that because-" he commenced.
"Because you're a self-important creep with too much time on your hands and a big fantasy obsession in which would never happen even if hell froze over?" Buffy offered emphasizing the 'if'.
"I wanted you" he stated plainly.
"Yeah well, with your sexual predator profile out now, you're going to be wanting a lot of women you can't have, it's over Miller, I don't want to hear from you ever again do you hear me? Ever" Buffy said and hung up the phone.
"Do you really think it's that easy?" he asked, emerging from behind a bush.
"What the hell?" she asked, frightened.
"You don't have to be afraid, I'm not going to-" he began.
"To what? Hurt me? Too late, leave or I'm calling the police" she said.
"I just want to talk" insisted.
"We're done talking, I don't trust you, and I never should have, now leave" she said. He began to come toward her. "Spike!" she called loudly.
"Okay, okay I'm going, look Buffy I just want to apologize okay, I'm sorry, really all I want is an absolution, that's all" he said.
"Miller" she said quietly and sweetly, and then she leaned closer to him and quieted her voice even more to a whisper. "Go to hell." With that, he turned and left. Spike came down right after.
"Baby? Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, it is now" she said.
"You're sure?" he asked.
"Absolutely" she said and they went inside together. Miller waked along the sidewalk thinking. He gave up, he didn't want to go to jail again. He would just leave her alone. If she wanted to change her mind one day then she would, otherwise he'd stay away.
"What happened out on that balcony? Did Miller come, because if he did-" Spike began.
"Honey it's okay, I promise, he's not coming back, ever" Buffy assured.
"How do you know?" Spike asked.
"Believe me, he won't" Buffy said. She took his hand and they went upstairs together and back to bed. After thirteen years and four kids, things seemed so much clearer. As if Buffy's eyes were more open, like she was more aware of everything going on around her. It was like being a wife and mother made her stronger, and she had to be. After everything she went through, she sort of hardened herself a little. She didn't let the little things in to bother her. It just wasn't significant anymore. Things didn't bother her as they used to. She had to be strong for her children. They needed her more than anyone. She wanted to be strong for them. Her life changed a great deal over the last thirteen years of her life and she was better for it. 'And for me it was over. All the pain and torment was gone. I had survived cancer, I had pushed passed everything that was thrown in my way. People looked at me differently, like I wasn't me. Like someone had crawled in my body and taken over. Feelings bled together for a while, but I never lost total control of what I was feeling. My head was on straight, and I was headed in the right direction. It wasn't the route I was taking, it was just that. . .i was rotating the wrong way I guess. Things seemed to twist the opposite way I intended them. Nevertheless, in the end I realized that my life had turned out pretty well. I had the love of my life, my children, my friends, my mother and sister. Nothing in this world was going to stop me, and nothing will.'
Life in Tragedy and Love ~ Chapter One
'My life was. . .never perfect. My parents got divorced when I was sixteen. After that my mother, sister and I moved to Sunnydale from L.A. Once there I found things, I never thought possible. True friends, a real life, and most of all love. I met this guy, William, A.K.A. Spike. I fell madly in love with him and I got pregnant. Got married, got raped, got pregnant, got divorced, and got cancer. You say my life wasn't a good one, well you're dead wrong.' ` "She's Thirty-one, a mother of four and her poignant life story has touched us all. With the release of her book, Life in tragedy and Love, she has became the town's hit, welcoming for her first pre book signing conference, Elizabeth Anne Bryson" the announcer said. Buffy walked up to the table, reporters' cameras flashing away.
"Hello, thank you all for coming" Buffy said.
"Mrs. Bryson, the chapter you wrote in here about Miller Banks says that he raped you and went to prison for it, now that he's out has he harassed you?" a reporter asked.
"No, I haven't heard from Miller for ten years and I hope I never do" Buffy replied.
"Mrs. Bryson, after twelve years of marriage, are you as much in love with your husband as you were at age eighteen?" another reporter asked.
"Yes, I have always loved Spike and I always will, even when we were divorced" Buffy said.
"Is there anytime you wished that you were still in L.A. and not here?" another asked.
"No. . .well when I first moved here I wanted to go back, but there's no Spike there, no Charlotte, Robbie, Sarah or MacKayah, Willow, Cordy, Oz, Xander, my life is here" Buffy said.
"So you're happy?" the girl asked.
"Yes, very" Buffy said.
"Does writing this life story make you regret anything, I mean do you look at your son and see Miller, or do you regret how your life went over the last twelve years?" another reporter asked.
"I guess everyone wants to change things about their life. Everyone has that one desire, that one thing they never got to have" Buffy said.
"What's yours?" the reported asked.
"I regret. . .waking up and not wanting to be in my skin, not wanting to be me, before I moved to Sunnydale things were bad. My parents never got along, I never had a father figure in my life, I guess I would change that if I could" Buffy said.
"Do you still love your son even though he belongs to Miller?" a reporter asked.
"Yes, my family is the most important thing to me, and I love my son very much, Spike and I do" Buffy said.
"What about your friends, your family, if you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?" another reporter asked.
"If I gave them one piece of advice, that I would want them to follow, I'd tell them that. . .it isn't the time you spend doing things, it's what you accomplish when you're doing them, don't be somewhere just to be there, have a purpose, I mean there's a point in everything, it's your job to find it" Buffy said.
"Do you think you have?" another reporter asked.
"I think I have, thirteen years and four kids later it. . .it all seems to come out, you just have to look for it, you have to know where to look" Buffy said.
"And what is it that you looked for?" the reporter asked.
"Life. . .in tragedy and love" Buffy said with a smile.
"Mrs. Bryson" a familiar voice said. Buffy looked slightly to the left and Miller came out of the crowd. Buffy's first instinct was to run, but she didn't. "Is it possible to forgive a crime that has devastated you, if the person who committed that crime has forever regretted it?"
"Some things don't deserved to be forgiven" Buffy said plainly. "No matter how sorry the person is."
"People change Buffy," he said, coming right up to the stage.
"Doesn't mean they deserve second chances," Buffy said, turning off her microphone.
"Can we talk, in private?" Miller asked. Buffy looked around. The reporters had gone quiet. They knew exactly whom Miller was, and were very intrigued.
"Last time you pulled that line in ended in rape, do you not remember that?" Buffy asked sarcastically.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said.
"No, you're not" she said and began to walk off the stage. He quickly climbed the stairs to the stage and grabbed her arm. She gasped.
"Do you think I'd actually try to pull something in front of a crowd of people?" he whispered.
"No, you prefer quiet places, places where no one's around don't you" she said coldly.
"I want to see my son," he said.
"What? Are you kidding? There is no way I am going to-" Buffy began.
"I have a right to see my son," he said.
"No, you don't, you raped me, okay, you took me without my permission, and yes I conceived a child, and that is the only thing that I don't hate about this" Buffy said.
"He's a part of me," Miller said.
"No he's not, he's a good boy, he's sweet, he's. . .nothing like you" Buffy said and walked off the stage. The reporters started talking at once, trying to get both Miller and Buffy attention. Buffy left the room and Miller followed. Spike wasn't there. He had to work, but right now, she wished so much that he was there with her. No one was allowed in the conference room except the reporters. Buffy's family was allowed to sit in another room and watch it on TV. All of this was live on television. When Buffy walked out of the room her mom, sister, children and friends were waiting for her.
"Buffy" Miller said.
"You stay away from her, come on sweetie" Joyce said and led Buffy out of the building.
"I just want to talk" he called after them. Dawn turned to him.
"Go to hell" she said coldly and walked off with everyone else.
Buffy and the rest of the gang arrived at Buffy and Spike's house a little later.
"Mommy who was that?" MacKayah asked.
"Uh, no one honey, just someone who mommy doesn't like very much" Buffy told the six year old.
"Are you okay Mommy?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah sweetie I'm fine" Buffy told her. Sarah was four.
"Are you sure?" Dawn asked.
"Yeah, what time is it?" Buffy asked.
"Uh. . .four-thirty" Willow said, looking at her watch.
"Good, Spike will be home soon" Buffy said.
"I can't believe he had the nerve to come and try to talk to you after what he did to you" Cordelia said.
"Yeah, well Miller's not much for the rationality" Buffy said. "I don't know what he wanted, but I certainly don't trust him."
"What was he saying to you, you two were talking so low at first that I didn't hear?" Dawn asked.
"He wants to see Robbie" Buffy said.
"You're not going to let him are you?" Joyce asked.
"Of course not, he is not coming anywhere near my son" Buffy said.
"Hey guys I'm h-" Spike began, but stopped when he saw everyone's faces. "What's wrong?"
"Honey I need to talk to you, in private" Buffy said.
"Okay, sure" he said. She took his hand and led him to the kitchen.
"Okay, um, well you know that I had that book conference today" Buffy said.
"Yeah, did it go well?" he asked.
"Uh, yeah, I it went fine, but. . .Miller was there" Buffy said.
"What? Did he hurt you? Did he-" Spike began asking.
"No, I'm fine, he was just. . ." Buffy said and then chuckled. "He asked me to forgive him."
"Are you okay" he asked, Buffy sighed.
"Yeah, fine, I just. . .don't want to deal with it" she said and he hugged her.
"Yeah well you shouldn't have to" he said.
"He said he wanted to see Robbie" Buffy said, Spike broke away from the hug.
"You didn't grant permission to that wanker did you?" he asked.
"No honey of course not" Buffy said.
"Good because, it doesn't matter who conceived him, he's my son" Spike said, Buffy smiled and kissed him.
"Don't worry about it baby" she said. "He is not going to come anywhere near Robbie."
"Good. . .so. . .how did the conference go, did they ask a lot of questions?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, but I don't mind, I'm glad people are interested" Buffy said.
"Well it's a great book pet, of course they would be" Spike said. Buffy smiled at him. "You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine" Buffy said.
"Good" Spike said and kissed her. They went out into the living room where everyone else was.
"Everything okay?" Willow asked.
"Fine" Buffy said.
"Good" Xander stated. "I should go, work, Buff, congratulations." With that, he kissed her on the cheek and left.
"Us too sweetie, bye" Willow said and took Taylor's hand. Oz and Willow had only had one child. Cordelia and Xander were still not together and only had one child.
"Bye guys, bye Tay" Buffy said.
"Bye aunt Buffy, bye uncle Spike" Taylor said, then they left.
"Well, ditto to me guys, see ya" Cordelia said and her and Gracie left. Soon it was only Joyce, Dawn, Spike and Buffy and their children. Since Buffy's operation, Dawn had gotten married and had two children, twins Mylie and Michael. They were with their father at home.
"Okay honey, I have to go to the store, so I will talk to you later okay" Dawn said and hugged and kissed Buffy and then hugged Spike. "Bye."
"Bye nibblit" Spike said.
"Bye Dawnie" Buffy said.
Soon Joyce said bye too and left. Buffy made dinner, they ate and went to bed. *Buffy's Dream*
Buffy was sleeping soundly, dreaming of good things. She alarm went off and she turned over to turn it off and there standing was Miller.
"You'll never get away from me" he said in a scary tone and came at her.
*End Buffy's Dream*
Buffy woke suddenly with a gasp. As she did, Spike did also.
"Honey what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing I just. . .I had a nightmare that's all" Buffy said.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine" she said. He put his arm around her and they both laid back down together. Buffy had a little trouble falling back asleep, but she finally did.
Buffy woke the next morning and went downstairs and sat on the balcony, just watching the sun coming up. No one else was up yet. She just wanted to be alone for a while. Seeing Miller again meant something. Everything happened for a reason. Did this mean that she was meant to forgive him. She was an easygoing person, she could forgive most people, but not him, not for this. She sighed and looked towards the rising sun. 'God what does this mean?' she asked herself. Suddenly the phone began to ring and she got up and answered it.
"Hello?" she said.
"Buffy" Miller said.
"What the hell do you want?" she asked harshly.
"You know what I want" she said.
"Leave me and my family alone" Buffy told him.
"I just want to see my son" Miller said.
"You don't have a son, the only son I have belongs to me and Spike, I'm hanging up now" she said and began to hang up.
"Wait, you know Buffy if I wanted to I could make your life very miserable" he said.
"Are you threatening me?" she asked.
"I'm just saying" he said.
"You know what, I'm going to the police today and getting a restraining order against you, I'm getting my number changed, unlisted, if you don't leave me alone I'll have you arrested" Buffy said.
"I just want forgiveness Buffy" he stated.
"You raped me, there is no forgiving that" she said.
"Look I did that because-" he commenced.
"Because you're a self-important creep with too much time on your hands and a big fantasy obsession in which would never happen even if hell froze over?" Buffy offered emphasizing the 'if'.
"I wanted you" he stated plainly.
"Yeah well, with your sexual predator profile out now, you're going to be wanting a lot of women you can't have, it's over Miller, I don't want to hear from you ever again do you hear me? Ever" Buffy said and hung up the phone.
"Do you really think it's that easy?" he asked, emerging from behind a bush.
"What the hell?" she asked, frightened.
"You don't have to be afraid, I'm not going to-" he began.
"To what? Hurt me? Too late, leave or I'm calling the police" she said.
"I just want to talk" insisted.
"We're done talking, I don't trust you, and I never should have, now leave" she said. He began to come toward her. "Spike!" she called loudly.
"Okay, okay I'm going, look Buffy I just want to apologize okay, I'm sorry, really all I want is an absolution, that's all" he said.
"Miller" she said quietly and sweetly, and then she leaned closer to him and quieted her voice even more to a whisper. "Go to hell." With that, he turned and left. Spike came down right after.
"Baby? Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, it is now" she said.
"You're sure?" he asked.
"Absolutely" she said and they went inside together. Miller waked along the sidewalk thinking. He gave up, he didn't want to go to jail again. He would just leave her alone. If she wanted to change her mind one day then she would, otherwise he'd stay away.
"What happened out on that balcony? Did Miller come, because if he did-" Spike began.
"Honey it's okay, I promise, he's not coming back, ever" Buffy assured.
"How do you know?" Spike asked.
"Believe me, he won't" Buffy said. She took his hand and they went upstairs together and back to bed. After thirteen years and four kids, things seemed so much clearer. As if Buffy's eyes were more open, like she was more aware of everything going on around her. It was like being a wife and mother made her stronger, and she had to be. After everything she went through, she sort of hardened herself a little. She didn't let the little things in to bother her. It just wasn't significant anymore. Things didn't bother her as they used to. She had to be strong for her children. They needed her more than anyone. She wanted to be strong for them. Her life changed a great deal over the last thirteen years of her life and she was better for it. 'And for me it was over. All the pain and torment was gone. I had survived cancer, I had pushed passed everything that was thrown in my way. People looked at me differently, like I wasn't me. Like someone had crawled in my body and taken over. Feelings bled together for a while, but I never lost total control of what I was feeling. My head was on straight, and I was headed in the right direction. It wasn't the route I was taking, it was just that. . .i was rotating the wrong way I guess. Things seemed to twist the opposite way I intended them. Nevertheless, in the end I realized that my life had turned out pretty well. I had the love of my life, my children, my friends, my mother and sister. Nothing in this world was going to stop me, and nothing will.'