Author's note/WARNING: Don't read any further unless you are prepared for
character death. Believe it or not, I am a Harm/Mac shipper. This is just
my weird take on things. I totally detest what DPB did with the last episode, and I'm not watching JAG until Harm returns to the Navy. If DPB says Harm & Mac will never get together this is my opinion of the only way they can save the show, tragic though it may be. Enough babbling, read at
you own risk....
Chapter 5
(Harm's POV)
This is the hardest and most painful thing I'll ever do..
May 23, 2003
Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry for everything. All that I've done to hurt you. I know, my list is longer than ever. At least I won't be able to hurt you anymore.. I don't know what to write.
Let's answer your question then. What people love you Mac? Plenty of people. Me included. Why did I resign to find you? I love you. You're the most important thing in my life. That's why I can't live without you. There's just so much I want to say, but I can't say it.
This is a two-sided relationship though, you've hurt me too. A lot. You hurt me so many times I can't even count them. The most recent being Paraguay. I'm sorry I'm so selfish, I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to tell you in person. I just can't take it Mac, it's too much for anyone to bear. I've lost so much, there just wasn't anything left to gain. Webb has you now. I can't begin to describe how much I love you, so why am I doing this? I don't know. I f anything it'll make you hate me or feel guilty. That's not the goal of this letter though. It was my fault Mac for not telling you I love you on the many chances you've given me.
All I ask is that, can I even bring myself to write this? I must though, so I shall. I'm asking you not come to my funeral, or burial. I don't want you there if you are with Webb or anyone else. It would break me more than anything else. Believe me, I'll know too if you're with someone. It's asking a lot I know. It's very unfair too. But it hurts too much. If you have any respect for me you will never visit me either, unless you are single.
Perhaps you would like to know, this is the last thing I'll touch before I commit suicide, besides my gun, or maybe you won't. I'm sorry Sarah, I really am. I guess we were just star-crossed lovers, or at least on my part. It seems I can only have you in my dreams..I'll love you forever and eternity Mac. ETERNITY.
Love for always, Harm
That's it, now seal it. Get the gun and finish it...
(Mac's POV)
How the hell did I end up at Harm's apartment???? Something's wrong, I can feel it. I'm coming Harm, I'm coming....
I'm dashing up the stairs as quickly as I can. I reach Harm's door and bang rapidly and loudly on it. "Harm! Harm! Open up!!! It's me, Mac."
He's not answering. Suddenly, I hear a sickening sound.....a gun being fired..."No Harm! No!!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream, fumbling with my keys I find the extra to his place and shove it in the lock. The door swings open...
The sight that meets my eyes is horrifying. Harm is lying on the floor, in his own blood. A pistol nearby, and what looks like some letters. He's dead. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. The words echo in my head.
Reality sweeps in as I rush to cradle his lifeless body,
"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" I scream.
my weird take on things. I totally detest what DPB did with the last episode, and I'm not watching JAG until Harm returns to the Navy. If DPB says Harm & Mac will never get together this is my opinion of the only way they can save the show, tragic though it may be. Enough babbling, read at
you own risk....
Chapter 5
(Harm's POV)
This is the hardest and most painful thing I'll ever do..
May 23, 2003
Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry for everything. All that I've done to hurt you. I know, my list is longer than ever. At least I won't be able to hurt you anymore.. I don't know what to write.
Let's answer your question then. What people love you Mac? Plenty of people. Me included. Why did I resign to find you? I love you. You're the most important thing in my life. That's why I can't live without you. There's just so much I want to say, but I can't say it.
This is a two-sided relationship though, you've hurt me too. A lot. You hurt me so many times I can't even count them. The most recent being Paraguay. I'm sorry I'm so selfish, I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to tell you in person. I just can't take it Mac, it's too much for anyone to bear. I've lost so much, there just wasn't anything left to gain. Webb has you now. I can't begin to describe how much I love you, so why am I doing this? I don't know. I f anything it'll make you hate me or feel guilty. That's not the goal of this letter though. It was my fault Mac for not telling you I love you on the many chances you've given me.
All I ask is that, can I even bring myself to write this? I must though, so I shall. I'm asking you not come to my funeral, or burial. I don't want you there if you are with Webb or anyone else. It would break me more than anything else. Believe me, I'll know too if you're with someone. It's asking a lot I know. It's very unfair too. But it hurts too much. If you have any respect for me you will never visit me either, unless you are single.
Perhaps you would like to know, this is the last thing I'll touch before I commit suicide, besides my gun, or maybe you won't. I'm sorry Sarah, I really am. I guess we were just star-crossed lovers, or at least on my part. It seems I can only have you in my dreams..I'll love you forever and eternity Mac. ETERNITY.
Love for always, Harm
That's it, now seal it. Get the gun and finish it...
(Mac's POV)
How the hell did I end up at Harm's apartment???? Something's wrong, I can feel it. I'm coming Harm, I'm coming....
I'm dashing up the stairs as quickly as I can. I reach Harm's door and bang rapidly and loudly on it. "Harm! Harm! Open up!!! It's me, Mac."
He's not answering. Suddenly, I hear a sickening sound.....a gun being fired..."No Harm! No!!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream, fumbling with my keys I find the extra to his place and shove it in the lock. The door swings open...
The sight that meets my eyes is horrifying. Harm is lying on the floor, in his own blood. A pistol nearby, and what looks like some letters. He's dead. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. The words echo in my head.
Reality sweeps in as I rush to cradle his lifeless body,
"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" I scream.