Chap 20 - Messed Up
More than a week had passed and Jess remained at the same spot in the corner of his living room. Around him laid bottles of beer and the phone. He seemed to have no life He didn't look alive, he looked like a zombie. It was frightening the way his eyes didn't shine and he had no hope.
There was a knock in the door. He looked up hoping it was Rory. But then again it was impossible. He looked down again and there was another knock. He got up and opened it.
"Lane", he said with no expression
"Jess", Lane was shocked by the way he looked
"That's me", he smiled bitterly taking another gulp of beer and turning around, leaving the door opened for her
She entered his living room and closed the door. He sat in the same spot as before and she sat by his side.
"She doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't listen my messages?"
"She's mad"
"Why did you come here?"
"Oh, it's nice to see you too," she replied sarcastically. "Monica said she was worried about you and I decided to check on you"
"Huh"
"She is hurt"
"Nothing happened Lane. Between me and Laura"
"Come on Jess. It may means nothing to you but you slept with her! While you said you loved Rory"
"I love Rory! And I didn't sleep with Laura"
"Huh? How come?", Lane asked
"It was a lie. That woman is-she's sick. She came here crying and put something in my drink, so I would think I had slept with her. But before I could even wake up Rory arrived"
"What? Is it true?"
"You don't believe me? Well, I guess you have your reasons, after all you've never been a fan of mine"
"Just answer the question"
"Yeah. It's true"
"Then you have to get up and you most definitely have to take a shower. And then you have to go find Rory"
"She doesn't want to be found"
"She doesn't know the truth"
"She hates me"
"No. She is just mad. Really mad. And hurt"
He looked down. "I never wanted to be the cause of her hurt", he said
"She loves you Jess"
He looked at Lane as if asking if it was true with his eyes.
Lane smiled, "Really. She loves you," she paused. "But now you have to get up, take a shower, shave, and please, clean this apartment"
Jess got up and so did Lane.
"I don't know where she is"
"Yes, you do. You're just scared that she won't believe you. That's why you didn't go after her before. But it's time. You have to go now or I don't know if she will believe you anymore"
"And what if she doesn't?"
"She will," she said. But the doubt remained in his eyes. 'She will. I did", she said as if it was a prove
He looked a little bit more confident. 'Thanks Lane. I mean it"
"Don't mention it. Now go. Ill clean this place a little and we'll go buy your ticket to-"
"Stars Hollow", he cut her off
Rory was walking to her house. She just had had breakfast at Luke's and now was going home to read some. When she reached the yard she saw there was mail in the mail box. She opened it and took a few small letters and a big envelope.
She entered the house and let herself fell on the couch while looking the mail. There was three letters for Lorelai, bills, some advisement and the big envelope. It's was to her, from New York Tribune. She opened it and took everything that was in out. There were some papers saying she wasn't working for the New York Tribune anymore, a small envelope and a note written with Monica's handwriting.
She put the papers aside and took the note to read.
'Rory, I'm sorry about you and Jess.
I don't know what really happened between you two, but I think you should talk to him. He asked me to give you this other envelope that I'm sending with the rest of your papers. I didn't read it, but I know you should. Hope to hear about you soon. Keep in touch, okay?
Monica
Ps.: I don't know what it means (or if it means something to you) but Jess resigned just after you did'
Rory put the note on top of a pile of papers. Then she took the envelope and carefully unfolded the letter.
'Dear Rory:
This isn't a love letter anymore. Its just some thoughts translated in words, so you can understand what I don't understand. Love doesn't mean to be sure of everything all time. It's accepting that nobody is perfect to anybody. It's so you can be yourself and don't have to pretend. It's trying to forget and that you can't run away.
I'd already thought about leaving you, Id looked so many times to my side. But when I think about someone it's for you that I close my eyes. I know that I've never been perfect, but with you I can be even myself, that you'll understand. I can play games of try to find draws on clouds. I can tell you my nightmares and even my silly things. I can take off your clothes, I can do whatever I want. I can loose my mind, but when I'm with you I'm fine.
Now, what are we going to do? I don't know too. After all, love is really everything, right? If that's not love what else can it be? If you know that then please answer me.
I know this letter just says how I feel about you, and its true. Believe it. But I want to explain to you what happened, in person. I want you to look into my eyes and see that I'm telling the truth. Please, call me. We have to meet, to talk
Love you
Jess'
A/N: Hey! Sorry it took me a while to update but I had some problems.
A part of Jess' letter is a Brazilian song called "What I Don't Understand Either" (O que eu Também Não Entendo), by Jota Quest.
Now my thanks: fireangel27, I'm SO glad you like my story, thank you. lily moon1, oh my God, thank you so much. twinkletoes2, it's a honor to me that an amazing writter like you read my story, and specailly since you're the first one who reviewed it. Lioness-07863, as always, thank you, and it's not Spanish, it's Portuguse (my mother language). Arianna555, thank you so much. And PiNaY iN oRaNgE, THANK YOU!!!! It means the world to me!
Thanks a LOT to Katie, who is my beta reader and correct ALL this story to me. Really, I wouldn't know what to do without your help!
To 'conterrânea': Fico muito feliz pelas suas reviews e gostaria de me comunicar com você, isso se você quiser. O meu e-mail é gabrielle_rs@yahoo.com, como está na minha bio.
More than a week had passed and Jess remained at the same spot in the corner of his living room. Around him laid bottles of beer and the phone. He seemed to have no life He didn't look alive, he looked like a zombie. It was frightening the way his eyes didn't shine and he had no hope.
There was a knock in the door. He looked up hoping it was Rory. But then again it was impossible. He looked down again and there was another knock. He got up and opened it.
"Lane", he said with no expression
"Jess", Lane was shocked by the way he looked
"That's me", he smiled bitterly taking another gulp of beer and turning around, leaving the door opened for her
She entered his living room and closed the door. He sat in the same spot as before and she sat by his side.
"She doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't listen my messages?"
"She's mad"
"Why did you come here?"
"Oh, it's nice to see you too," she replied sarcastically. "Monica said she was worried about you and I decided to check on you"
"Huh"
"She is hurt"
"Nothing happened Lane. Between me and Laura"
"Come on Jess. It may means nothing to you but you slept with her! While you said you loved Rory"
"I love Rory! And I didn't sleep with Laura"
"Huh? How come?", Lane asked
"It was a lie. That woman is-she's sick. She came here crying and put something in my drink, so I would think I had slept with her. But before I could even wake up Rory arrived"
"What? Is it true?"
"You don't believe me? Well, I guess you have your reasons, after all you've never been a fan of mine"
"Just answer the question"
"Yeah. It's true"
"Then you have to get up and you most definitely have to take a shower. And then you have to go find Rory"
"She doesn't want to be found"
"She doesn't know the truth"
"She hates me"
"No. She is just mad. Really mad. And hurt"
He looked down. "I never wanted to be the cause of her hurt", he said
"She loves you Jess"
He looked at Lane as if asking if it was true with his eyes.
Lane smiled, "Really. She loves you," she paused. "But now you have to get up, take a shower, shave, and please, clean this apartment"
Jess got up and so did Lane.
"I don't know where she is"
"Yes, you do. You're just scared that she won't believe you. That's why you didn't go after her before. But it's time. You have to go now or I don't know if she will believe you anymore"
"And what if she doesn't?"
"She will," she said. But the doubt remained in his eyes. 'She will. I did", she said as if it was a prove
He looked a little bit more confident. 'Thanks Lane. I mean it"
"Don't mention it. Now go. Ill clean this place a little and we'll go buy your ticket to-"
"Stars Hollow", he cut her off
Rory was walking to her house. She just had had breakfast at Luke's and now was going home to read some. When she reached the yard she saw there was mail in the mail box. She opened it and took a few small letters and a big envelope.
She entered the house and let herself fell on the couch while looking the mail. There was three letters for Lorelai, bills, some advisement and the big envelope. It's was to her, from New York Tribune. She opened it and took everything that was in out. There were some papers saying she wasn't working for the New York Tribune anymore, a small envelope and a note written with Monica's handwriting.
She put the papers aside and took the note to read.
'Rory, I'm sorry about you and Jess.
I don't know what really happened between you two, but I think you should talk to him. He asked me to give you this other envelope that I'm sending with the rest of your papers. I didn't read it, but I know you should. Hope to hear about you soon. Keep in touch, okay?
Monica
Ps.: I don't know what it means (or if it means something to you) but Jess resigned just after you did'
Rory put the note on top of a pile of papers. Then she took the envelope and carefully unfolded the letter.
'Dear Rory:
This isn't a love letter anymore. Its just some thoughts translated in words, so you can understand what I don't understand. Love doesn't mean to be sure of everything all time. It's accepting that nobody is perfect to anybody. It's so you can be yourself and don't have to pretend. It's trying to forget and that you can't run away.
I'd already thought about leaving you, Id looked so many times to my side. But when I think about someone it's for you that I close my eyes. I know that I've never been perfect, but with you I can be even myself, that you'll understand. I can play games of try to find draws on clouds. I can tell you my nightmares and even my silly things. I can take off your clothes, I can do whatever I want. I can loose my mind, but when I'm with you I'm fine.
Now, what are we going to do? I don't know too. After all, love is really everything, right? If that's not love what else can it be? If you know that then please answer me.
I know this letter just says how I feel about you, and its true. Believe it. But I want to explain to you what happened, in person. I want you to look into my eyes and see that I'm telling the truth. Please, call me. We have to meet, to talk
Love you
Jess'
A/N: Hey! Sorry it took me a while to update but I had some problems.
A part of Jess' letter is a Brazilian song called "What I Don't Understand Either" (O que eu Também Não Entendo), by Jota Quest.
Now my thanks: fireangel27, I'm SO glad you like my story, thank you. lily moon1, oh my God, thank you so much. twinkletoes2, it's a honor to me that an amazing writter like you read my story, and specailly since you're the first one who reviewed it. Lioness-07863, as always, thank you, and it's not Spanish, it's Portuguse (my mother language). Arianna555, thank you so much. And PiNaY iN oRaNgE, THANK YOU!!!! It means the world to me!
Thanks a LOT to Katie, who is my beta reader and correct ALL this story to me. Really, I wouldn't know what to do without your help!
To 'conterrânea': Fico muito feliz pelas suas reviews e gostaria de me comunicar com você, isso se você quiser. O meu e-mail é gabrielle_rs@yahoo.com, como está na minha bio.