Chapter Three - Show Me Whatcha Workin' With
The image filling the sphere was a skin colored blob. Two blobs to be exact. It was quite clear what it was. And Auron was more than happy to point it out.
"Why is there a giant ASS on the screen?" he asked, appalled at the vulgar display. Yuna giggled.
"It's Tidy-Widey's butt!" she announced. Tidus giggled and pointed at the screen, while Rikku leaned in closer, eyes bulging.
"Oh oh!!" the onscreen Yuna said playfully. "It's your best buddy Tidus! And look, he's sleeping right next to you, all nakey wakey!"
Auron whipped his head around to face Tidus. "WHY are you in my bed and WHY are you naked?!" he growled. Tidus shrugged.
"I dunno! I swear I fell asleep in my own bed with my Blitzball under roo's on!" Auron sighed and stared at the sphere, hoping for an explanation. On the screen, Yuna was bopping the camera around, making Tidus' pasty white ass appear to jumble about.
"Shake your . . . tushie! Watch yourself! Shake your tushie! Show me whatcha working with!" she sang. Everyone except Yuna groaned.
"Ha ha! That was fun!" the onscreen Yuna chirped, poking Tidus' left . . . "cheek" with her finger. "Butt butt!" she sang. The camera panned over to show Tidus' arm around Auron.
"Good God . . . " Auron muttered.
"YEVON!!!"
"Don't you two look so cute together?!" Yuna sang from the sphere. "I thought so, so I took Tidy Widy and set him up all cutesy in your bed, Sir Auron! It's like your best friends all the time!!"
"But why is he NAKED?!" Auron demanded. Yuna shrugged.
"I dunno! He wasn't when I moved him!"
Rikku but her lip, pushing the Blitzball under roos further into her pocket.
"Moving on on on!" Yuna said from within the sphere. The camera showed Yuna stumble over the two sleeping men and focus in on Kimahri, who wasn't actually asleep. In fact, he was staring into the camera with intense yellow eyes.
"Lady Yuna should be asleep. Lady Yuna need rest for journey," the giant cat-man said. Behind Kimahri on the screen, Rikku was seen moving as silently as a cat towards one of the dressers in the room. She began taking out clothes, smelling them, and shoving them under her shirt. Kimahri kept rambling on about the good virtues of sleep as she did.
"What are you doing back there?" Lulu asked, straining to see the sphere from her seat. Rikku stiffened.
"NOTHING! I was not taking Tidus' clothes in a vain attempt to hold the one person I love in my arms forever!" she spat. Lulu blinked.
"Alright then," she muttered, turning back to sphere.
"Okay! I'll go to sleep Kimahri. I was just making a video for Sir Auron's birthday," she said, turning the camera away from Kimahri and focusing on herself.
"So there you go, Sir Auron. A video of all your friends. Don't forget us! We won't forget you, because you're so old and you'll probably die soon and we'll always have our memories!" Yuna said cheerfully as she switched the sphere off.
"My Yuna, that was truly touching," Auron said flatly. He was about to shove the sphere back into its box when the screen flickered.
"Oh good, there's more," he grumbled. Yuna cocked her head to the side.
"Gee, I don't remember taping anything else," she said curiously. The sphere showed a dark blue blotch that eventually became Kimahri.
"What are you wearing?" Lulu asked in a shaky voice. The Ronso had on what appeared to be a floor length gown with fur trim. Only, it was so tight it was ripping at the seams and had sprouts of dark blue fur coming out of it.
"That's one of my dresses!" Lulu said angrily. Kimahri was beaming next to her.
The sphere showed Kimahri set a portable stereo on the ground, and press the play button. A guitar sounded out, starting out softly and growing loud as it progressed. All of a sudden, lyrics shot out, and in all his broken English glory, Kimahri began to sing.
"Kimahri loves himself, he want Sir Auron to love him," he began. The Ronso was sashaying his hips, the long black skirt swaying with him. Auron's face grew very pale.
"Kimahri lose himself, he want Sir Auron to find him."
"Oh no. Oh no no no. I know what song this is," Auron said in a daze.
"Kimahri don't' want anyone else. When Kimahri thinks about Sir Auron, he touch himself."
Auron screeched uncharacteristically like a woman, and smashed the sphere with his fist. It flickered once, then shut down.
"NEVER. COME. NEAR. ME. AGAIN," Auron said through clenched teeth, staring at Kimahri.
Kimahri looked dejected and sad as he sauntered from the room. All of a sudden, the ground began shaking violently. The pictures on the wall shook with the force, and everyone in the room, except for Tidus, started to scream.
"IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME!" Tidus screeched, running for the door.
"It's time for WHAT?!" Auron yelled after him.
"Time for MY present to you!" he called back. Tidus flung open the door, showing everyone inside what was causing the quasi-earthquake.
What they saw outside made them scream louder than seeing Tidus' ass.
The image filling the sphere was a skin colored blob. Two blobs to be exact. It was quite clear what it was. And Auron was more than happy to point it out.
"Why is there a giant ASS on the screen?" he asked, appalled at the vulgar display. Yuna giggled.
"It's Tidy-Widey's butt!" she announced. Tidus giggled and pointed at the screen, while Rikku leaned in closer, eyes bulging.
"Oh oh!!" the onscreen Yuna said playfully. "It's your best buddy Tidus! And look, he's sleeping right next to you, all nakey wakey!"
Auron whipped his head around to face Tidus. "WHY are you in my bed and WHY are you naked?!" he growled. Tidus shrugged.
"I dunno! I swear I fell asleep in my own bed with my Blitzball under roo's on!" Auron sighed and stared at the sphere, hoping for an explanation. On the screen, Yuna was bopping the camera around, making Tidus' pasty white ass appear to jumble about.
"Shake your . . . tushie! Watch yourself! Shake your tushie! Show me whatcha working with!" she sang. Everyone except Yuna groaned.
"Ha ha! That was fun!" the onscreen Yuna chirped, poking Tidus' left . . . "cheek" with her finger. "Butt butt!" she sang. The camera panned over to show Tidus' arm around Auron.
"Good God . . . " Auron muttered.
"YEVON!!!"
"Don't you two look so cute together?!" Yuna sang from the sphere. "I thought so, so I took Tidy Widy and set him up all cutesy in your bed, Sir Auron! It's like your best friends all the time!!"
"But why is he NAKED?!" Auron demanded. Yuna shrugged.
"I dunno! He wasn't when I moved him!"
Rikku but her lip, pushing the Blitzball under roos further into her pocket.
"Moving on on on!" Yuna said from within the sphere. The camera showed Yuna stumble over the two sleeping men and focus in on Kimahri, who wasn't actually asleep. In fact, he was staring into the camera with intense yellow eyes.
"Lady Yuna should be asleep. Lady Yuna need rest for journey," the giant cat-man said. Behind Kimahri on the screen, Rikku was seen moving as silently as a cat towards one of the dressers in the room. She began taking out clothes, smelling them, and shoving them under her shirt. Kimahri kept rambling on about the good virtues of sleep as she did.
"What are you doing back there?" Lulu asked, straining to see the sphere from her seat. Rikku stiffened.
"NOTHING! I was not taking Tidus' clothes in a vain attempt to hold the one person I love in my arms forever!" she spat. Lulu blinked.
"Alright then," she muttered, turning back to sphere.
"Okay! I'll go to sleep Kimahri. I was just making a video for Sir Auron's birthday," she said, turning the camera away from Kimahri and focusing on herself.
"So there you go, Sir Auron. A video of all your friends. Don't forget us! We won't forget you, because you're so old and you'll probably die soon and we'll always have our memories!" Yuna said cheerfully as she switched the sphere off.
"My Yuna, that was truly touching," Auron said flatly. He was about to shove the sphere back into its box when the screen flickered.
"Oh good, there's more," he grumbled. Yuna cocked her head to the side.
"Gee, I don't remember taping anything else," she said curiously. The sphere showed a dark blue blotch that eventually became Kimahri.
"What are you wearing?" Lulu asked in a shaky voice. The Ronso had on what appeared to be a floor length gown with fur trim. Only, it was so tight it was ripping at the seams and had sprouts of dark blue fur coming out of it.
"That's one of my dresses!" Lulu said angrily. Kimahri was beaming next to her.
The sphere showed Kimahri set a portable stereo on the ground, and press the play button. A guitar sounded out, starting out softly and growing loud as it progressed. All of a sudden, lyrics shot out, and in all his broken English glory, Kimahri began to sing.
"Kimahri loves himself, he want Sir Auron to love him," he began. The Ronso was sashaying his hips, the long black skirt swaying with him. Auron's face grew very pale.
"Kimahri lose himself, he want Sir Auron to find him."
"Oh no. Oh no no no. I know what song this is," Auron said in a daze.
"Kimahri don't' want anyone else. When Kimahri thinks about Sir Auron, he touch himself."
Auron screeched uncharacteristically like a woman, and smashed the sphere with his fist. It flickered once, then shut down.
"NEVER. COME. NEAR. ME. AGAIN," Auron said through clenched teeth, staring at Kimahri.
Kimahri looked dejected and sad as he sauntered from the room. All of a sudden, the ground began shaking violently. The pictures on the wall shook with the force, and everyone in the room, except for Tidus, started to scream.
"IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME!" Tidus screeched, running for the door.
"It's time for WHAT?!" Auron yelled after him.
"Time for MY present to you!" he called back. Tidus flung open the door, showing everyone inside what was causing the quasi-earthquake.
What they saw outside made them scream louder than seeing Tidus' ass.