Title: Nothing's Ever Simple
Author: Hailie
Summary/Timeline: takes place at the end of 'When Night Meets Day' a different conversation that could have occurred between Carter and Abby with a very different endinging.
"Hey," Abby said simply trying to force him into a conversation, any conversation.
"Hi," Carter replied as he continued to walk away.
"Carter," she said shouting the name, trying to force him to stay.
"What?" he asked.
"I haven't seen you in a week and you can't even spare a few minutes to talk?"
"I don't understand what the hell you want Abby. One minute you love me the next you don't even talk to me." Carter shouted at her.
"You're the one who told me to leave you alone, so I did. You are the one who never came back. Not me."
"When I needed you, you left!"
"I went to go get my bipolar brother, Carter, I didn't just take off. I wanted to be there for you." She tried defending herself, even though she herself felt the guilt. It tore at her everyday, but he didn't need to know that.
"What the hell do you want from me Abby?" he asked. He was angry. Angrier then she had ever seen him. She had always been comfortable with him. She had always trusted him, but right now, she was scared. Right now he terrified her.
He took a step closer and grabbed her arm not allowing her to walk away from him. Hurting her wasn't his intention, not at all, but the tighter his grip became the more frightened she felt.
An answer, he wanted an answer. "What do you want from me Abby?" he asked again this time he lowered his voice but to her it sounded even more threatening.
Maybe someone would interrupt them, though she doubted it. She didn't know what to say. Would he listen if she told him the truth? Not in the state that he was in.
So she sidestepped, "your going to Africa aren't you?" she asked.
He looked away unsure of how she knew. He let go of her arm and began to walk away.
"Stop," she called after him.
He stopped instantly but he didn't turn back around to face her. Was this who they really were? If it was then was it worth it? If they couldn't tell each other things then what was the point?
"Yes," his answer was delayed, but at least he answered.
"Carter?" she said his name questioningly.
He turned back to her, but allowed the distance to remain. Maybe it was better that way.
"If I asked you not to go, would you stay?"
His eyes moved to the ground, he wasn't sure. He had already pondered the question. A week ago, he would have said yes. Now, he wasn't that sure.
Should he answer? "I don't know," he told her it was the best that he could do.
She remained quiet. At least he hadn't said no. Her eyes fell to the ground that he had stared so intently at moments ago.
"Are you asking?" he asked her.
The question lingered in the thick air around them. If it was possible he probably would have taken it back, but it was too late. Now he wanted to know.
"Carter," she spoke name softly as if testing how it sounded.
It wasn't good enough for him, "You haven't answered anything I've asked so far, Ab. I thought you were over this hiding thing."
"Yes I'm asking," she blurted out. She brought her head back up and he registered the silent tears that traveled down it.
"Asking what?" he said, he knew it wasn't fair.
She bit her lip and looked away and for a moment he thought that she was going to just walk away, but she didn't. No, she looked back at him and said, "I'm asking you to stay. I'm asking you to not run away to Africa and leave me."
"Leave you? See Abby it's always about you. . ." he was going to continue, but one look at her face made him realize how wrong he was. "I'm sorry," he offered.
This time she was the one to turn around and begin to walk away.
"Abby," he called hoping that he could bring her back. He wasn't ready for this to be over yet.
"What else is there to say?" she asked him, stopping to face him. She wanted to memorize his face one more time. She may never have the chance to do it again. He may never come back. Or she may not be here when he did.
"Ask me again," he said quietly.
"No," she responded shaking her head.
He nodded his head, understanding.
"I have to know one thing Carter," she said, unconsciously she had slipped back into the habit of calling him Carter, to her it just seemed right.
He nodded his head once again, but failed to make any promises of answering.
"You said it just didn't feel right. . ." she forced out. She needed to know what made him change his mind about asking her to marry him.
He looked away.
"Why?" that's the one question she needed answered, the only one.
"I don't know," he told her. "I, it just. . In that moment. . I just don't know Abby."
She nodded and said, "okay."
Neither knew what to say next. They both struggled inside to find something to say, anything.
Finally realizing how late it was getting he said, "I'm not going to be gone long, I'll be back in two weeks."
She looked up at him with a sad smile and informed him, "I may not be here."
"What?" he said surprised. That he hadn't expected.
"There's nothing for me here Carter."
"What do you want from me Abby? What do you want me to say or do? Nothing seems to be enough."
"Don't go." She said simply.
"Besides that," he said.
She didn't answer.
"What the hell do you want from me?"
"You wanna know what I want? Huh Carter? You really sure?"
"Yes I want to know what it is that you want."
"I want you to look at me as if I'm the only thing in this world that matters. I want to be able to make you smile no matter how bad your day was, or how horrible you feel. I know it's selfish, I know its dumb but I want everything else to fade into the background when you see me, Carter. That's what I want, and I know you will never be able to give that to me."
"Abby."
"No, this has to be our goodbye because neither of us can take much more of this." She said tearfully.
"I love you," he said completely honestly.
She shook her head. She knew this had to be the end even if he didn't.
He closed the gap and held her tightly in his arms.
She was right; this was goodbye.
The kiss was gentle, as they tasted each other's salty tears.
Letting go was so much harder then holding on.
"I love you too," she whispered as she pulled away from the kiss.
"This doesn't have to be goodbye," he said.
"Yes it does."
They pulled away from each other gently. And they both turned and began to walk away.
Suddenly Abby turned back around before she entered the ER and she called his name softly as if she hoped he wouldn't hear her. "John."
He did hear and he turned around, but refrained from saying anything.
"I would have said yes."
He closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them again, she was gone.
~~
A/N: Please Review! Oh and this is probably a stand alone, I just think it works best that way
And to anyone reading my fic 'One Day' I'm working on the next chapter, hopefully I'll have it done soon
Author: Hailie
Summary/Timeline: takes place at the end of 'When Night Meets Day' a different conversation that could have occurred between Carter and Abby with a very different endinging.
"Hey," Abby said simply trying to force him into a conversation, any conversation.
"Hi," Carter replied as he continued to walk away.
"Carter," she said shouting the name, trying to force him to stay.
"What?" he asked.
"I haven't seen you in a week and you can't even spare a few minutes to talk?"
"I don't understand what the hell you want Abby. One minute you love me the next you don't even talk to me." Carter shouted at her.
"You're the one who told me to leave you alone, so I did. You are the one who never came back. Not me."
"When I needed you, you left!"
"I went to go get my bipolar brother, Carter, I didn't just take off. I wanted to be there for you." She tried defending herself, even though she herself felt the guilt. It tore at her everyday, but he didn't need to know that.
"What the hell do you want from me Abby?" he asked. He was angry. Angrier then she had ever seen him. She had always been comfortable with him. She had always trusted him, but right now, she was scared. Right now he terrified her.
He took a step closer and grabbed her arm not allowing her to walk away from him. Hurting her wasn't his intention, not at all, but the tighter his grip became the more frightened she felt.
An answer, he wanted an answer. "What do you want from me Abby?" he asked again this time he lowered his voice but to her it sounded even more threatening.
Maybe someone would interrupt them, though she doubted it. She didn't know what to say. Would he listen if she told him the truth? Not in the state that he was in.
So she sidestepped, "your going to Africa aren't you?" she asked.
He looked away unsure of how she knew. He let go of her arm and began to walk away.
"Stop," she called after him.
He stopped instantly but he didn't turn back around to face her. Was this who they really were? If it was then was it worth it? If they couldn't tell each other things then what was the point?
"Yes," his answer was delayed, but at least he answered.
"Carter?" she said his name questioningly.
He turned back to her, but allowed the distance to remain. Maybe it was better that way.
"If I asked you not to go, would you stay?"
His eyes moved to the ground, he wasn't sure. He had already pondered the question. A week ago, he would have said yes. Now, he wasn't that sure.
Should he answer? "I don't know," he told her it was the best that he could do.
She remained quiet. At least he hadn't said no. Her eyes fell to the ground that he had stared so intently at moments ago.
"Are you asking?" he asked her.
The question lingered in the thick air around them. If it was possible he probably would have taken it back, but it was too late. Now he wanted to know.
"Carter," she spoke name softly as if testing how it sounded.
It wasn't good enough for him, "You haven't answered anything I've asked so far, Ab. I thought you were over this hiding thing."
"Yes I'm asking," she blurted out. She brought her head back up and he registered the silent tears that traveled down it.
"Asking what?" he said, he knew it wasn't fair.
She bit her lip and looked away and for a moment he thought that she was going to just walk away, but she didn't. No, she looked back at him and said, "I'm asking you to stay. I'm asking you to not run away to Africa and leave me."
"Leave you? See Abby it's always about you. . ." he was going to continue, but one look at her face made him realize how wrong he was. "I'm sorry," he offered.
This time she was the one to turn around and begin to walk away.
"Abby," he called hoping that he could bring her back. He wasn't ready for this to be over yet.
"What else is there to say?" she asked him, stopping to face him. She wanted to memorize his face one more time. She may never have the chance to do it again. He may never come back. Or she may not be here when he did.
"Ask me again," he said quietly.
"No," she responded shaking her head.
He nodded his head, understanding.
"I have to know one thing Carter," she said, unconsciously she had slipped back into the habit of calling him Carter, to her it just seemed right.
He nodded his head once again, but failed to make any promises of answering.
"You said it just didn't feel right. . ." she forced out. She needed to know what made him change his mind about asking her to marry him.
He looked away.
"Why?" that's the one question she needed answered, the only one.
"I don't know," he told her. "I, it just. . In that moment. . I just don't know Abby."
She nodded and said, "okay."
Neither knew what to say next. They both struggled inside to find something to say, anything.
Finally realizing how late it was getting he said, "I'm not going to be gone long, I'll be back in two weeks."
She looked up at him with a sad smile and informed him, "I may not be here."
"What?" he said surprised. That he hadn't expected.
"There's nothing for me here Carter."
"What do you want from me Abby? What do you want me to say or do? Nothing seems to be enough."
"Don't go." She said simply.
"Besides that," he said.
She didn't answer.
"What the hell do you want from me?"
"You wanna know what I want? Huh Carter? You really sure?"
"Yes I want to know what it is that you want."
"I want you to look at me as if I'm the only thing in this world that matters. I want to be able to make you smile no matter how bad your day was, or how horrible you feel. I know it's selfish, I know its dumb but I want everything else to fade into the background when you see me, Carter. That's what I want, and I know you will never be able to give that to me."
"Abby."
"No, this has to be our goodbye because neither of us can take much more of this." She said tearfully.
"I love you," he said completely honestly.
She shook her head. She knew this had to be the end even if he didn't.
He closed the gap and held her tightly in his arms.
She was right; this was goodbye.
The kiss was gentle, as they tasted each other's salty tears.
Letting go was so much harder then holding on.
"I love you too," she whispered as she pulled away from the kiss.
"This doesn't have to be goodbye," he said.
"Yes it does."
They pulled away from each other gently. And they both turned and began to walk away.
Suddenly Abby turned back around before she entered the ER and she called his name softly as if she hoped he wouldn't hear her. "John."
He did hear and he turned around, but refrained from saying anything.
"I would have said yes."
He closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them again, she was gone.
~~
A/N: Please Review! Oh and this is probably a stand alone, I just think it works best that way
And to anyone reading my fic 'One Day' I'm working on the next chapter, hopefully I'll have it done soon