Notes:
This chapter took me way too long x_x; I knew where I was going with future chapters, but I didn't really know how to get there, so I ended up throwing together a few smaller ideas that I had floating around into one chapter, and tada~! :D
Um... The title is a temporary one until I can see if I can think up a better one ^^; Inspired by the Sarah McLachlan song. And just in case you're wondering, I was thinking about ending the fic at chapter 13, but decided that that would leave waaaay too many things open, plus I've somehow developed a bunch of new twists (that I might get killed for, but anyway x_x;) that I can't... stop... writing... this... fic... @_@
Warning: The sap is back. I'm sorry ;_; With it comes a lime (I think/hope that's the right word... hinting at a lemon but nothing graphic, right? Dwar...) Also a bit of a 'disturbing' scene that may not be suitable/appropriate for younger viewers (am I on TV? o.o;) So red with discretion, or something ^^;;;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...Don't worry, she'll be fine. It's happened before, when our father died. Our mother and I were out, and we came back to find Father dead and poor Doulin barely awake herself, having spent the whole time trying to bring him back. She just doesn't know when to quit. I told her that she should be more careful, but does she listen to her older sister like she should?"
It was Lina's voice that woke me up, but when I opened my eyes, in the doorway was the person that I least expected. But she was there - dark hair still pulled into two long braids, that same navy blue uniform she wore whenever she wasn't in danger of being recognized.
"Suzuno?!" I exclaimed - at least, tried to, for my voice came out as a hoarse whisper. I cleared my voice and sat up, albeit a little groggily, and tried again. "Suzuno?"
She turned and her face broke into a wide smile, but before she could even try to say anything, Lina rushed to my side, with a frown on her face. "You! What do you think you were doing?" She scolded, but I ignored her and continued to stare at Suzuno, my surprise clearly shown on my face.
Suzuno giggled, although I wasn't sure whether it was because she was intimidated or amused by Lina. "I'm back!" She said simply, striking a little pose.
"But when--? How? Where were you?" My brain wasn't functioning properly, and I could barely string together a proper sentence.
"Just an hour or so ago, don't worry, you haven't missed anything. If it weren't for Jin, though, I would've been completely lost. For some reason, I appeared in the middle of the woods." She shook her head. "And I was so excited after finding where my father had hid the bo-- Er, that is, that I figured out how to come back," she finished hurriedly, but I wondered what she was originally going to say.
"Oh," I said simply, glancing at Lina, who looked mildly amused, though I wasn't sure at what. Looking back at Suzuno, the events of the night before came flooding back to me all at once. "Suzuno, we have the Suzaku Shinzaho, so we can-- Oh no, where's Tokaki?" I exclaimed, remembering the bloody state I had last seen him in.
At this, Lina burst into laughter, and while I stared at her with a horrified expression, Suzuno, wearing a smile of her own, pointed over my shoulder. I turned my head to see Tokaki sitting beside my bed, wearing a bemused look on his face. He was wearing one of Jin's shirts, which was a bit too big on him, but other than that, looked completely fine. Better than fine, in fact, I thought, and I threw my arms around his neck. "Don't scare me like that!" I cried, my voice muffled against his chest.
"Scare you?!" He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back, looking at me. "I'm not the one who passed out in a crowd of thugs! Don't you ever do that to me again!"
"Then don't run off and leave me in a tree again!" I sniffled, wiping my cheeks.
"If you'd have just stayed in the tree, then we wouldn't be here in the first place!"
"No, because you'd be dead!"
"I would not! I told you, I can take care of myself."
"Obviously not! If you could, then why did I have to--"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Suzuno interrupted suddenly, then looked at Lina with an expression of disbelief. "Are you sure you told me the truth about them?"
"What about us?" Tokaki and I asked in unison.
"It's all true," Lina giggled, and Suzuno just smiled innocently.
Tokaki shook his head, then looked at me again. "I didn't know you could do what you did back there - the entire building was frozen, nobody was moving."
"...I didn't know I could, either." I stared down at the blankets, shaking my head. "But I don't think I'll be doing it too often if I end up unconscious."
"C'mon, all you need to do is practice. Besides," he added with a sly grin, "It could come in handy if there's ever lots of people around and we--"
"What?! No!" I exclaimed in protest, but I could already feel the blush in my cheeks. Lina mumbled something that sounded like "hopeless", while Suzuno looked bewildered. "Wh-what's with this?" I said, changing the subject and tugging at Tokaki's sleeve.
"Huh? Oh, apparently you don't do clothes," he rolled his eyes. "I liked that shirt, too..."
"Well, maybe if you hadn't gotten stabbed in the first place..."
"Maybe if I didn't have to be worrying about you--"
"Okay, okay, come on," Suzuno interrupted again, this time shaking her head. "My little sister and her friends are more grown-up than this." She moved her arm slightly, and I saw that she now wore the Shinzaho bracelets around her wrist. "We have more important things to do now. I don't think Byakko-seikun would be too happy if he has to wait much longer. Besides," she added in a quiet voice, "I want to get back to the capital and see Tatara."
Tokaki narrowed his eyes, but I poked him and he didn't say anything. Everything was going fine; we had the Shinzaho, Suzuno was back, and I was certain that Amefuri and Kokie must have retrieved the Seiryuu Shinzaho and be on their way back to Sairou by now. In these were in fact the last few days that Suzuno would be in this world, I didn't want her and Tatara's time together to be ruined.
Regardless of Lina's protests, we left a few hours later, in the early afternoon. Although I didn't feel entirely at full health, I was somewhat energized by the thought that this would all soon be over, and then I could rest as much as I wanted. I told Lina that I would see her in a week or less, and if, god forbid, anything should happen, I would write her every day.
Suzuno surprised us by being an excellent horsewoman, and when I inquired as to why she had always ridden with Tatara before, she just smiled. Despite Tokaki's urgings that I should ride with him, I knew that that would lead to more than a bit of a distraction and took my own horse.
During the ride, Suzuno declined to say much about what she had done in her world, other than expressing her puzzlement when we told her how long she had been gone. She didn't expand on it, though, and instead spent the rest of the day inquiring about every little detail of what had been happening in Sairou.
Late in the afternoon, when we were deep in a forest, Suzuno halted her horse and looked around, an expression of deep thought etched on her face. "...I know this place," she finally exclaimed, a smile washing over her features. "This is where I first came to this world! And that means Amefuri's village is just ahead!" She dug in her heels and rode on ahead at a gallop. I started to follow her, feeling a little excitement at being able to meet Amefuri's family, who I'd heard so much about, but not sharing Suzuno's total exuberance. When I noticed Tokaki wasn't following, I looked back at him to see a frown on his face.
"Something's wrong," he said, and then Suzuno screamed.
We caught up with her a few moments later, the trees clearing to reveal a village - or what remained of it. The buildings were now just charred black remnants, some still smoking. Suzuno, who had already dismounted, sunk to her knees, staring in wide-eyed disbelief, tears streaming down her cheeks. For a moment, I thought that it wasn't so bad, hoping with a foolish bit of optimism that maybe everyone had escaped. But I saw soon enough that that wasn't true - when I dismounted and went over to Suzuno, I saw what she had obviously already seen.
A pile of charred bodies, half-hidden behind a building. I instantly felt sick, and swallowed hard, turning away and squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block out the horrible vision, but it was as if it were emblazoned on my eyelids. Behind me, I could hear Suzuno sobbing, and when I opened my eyes to look at Tokaki, he looked so shaken that I had to put a hand to my mouth to muffle my own sobs.
"We have to leave," Tokaki said suddenly, walking over to Suzuno and pulling her to her feet.
"W-we can't!" She protested. "What if someone's still alive, what if--"
"No one is. Listen," he said, glancing at me as well, "Karasuki's men couldn't have done this. That means the only option is Kutou. And armies don't abandon land they've captured, which means we won't be alone for long."
"But, but... Amefuri's... Her little... They were so young. How could, how could anyone..." Suzuno broke down as a new wave of sobs wracked her body.
Tokaki put an arm around her and helped her up onto his horse, looking back at me. "Are you alright?"
I wasn't, but there wasn't anything else to do, so I nodded numbly, getting back onto my own horse and not looking back at the village. Suzuno's crying eventually quieted, and she spent the rest of the ride staring down at the ground. If not for Tokaki's support, I was certain that she would just collapse to the ground as if she were a ragdoll.
Somehow, we managed to not run into the Kutou army, and instead found a camp of Sairou soldiers just as the sun was setting. Though we narrowly avoided getting killed when they brandished their swords at us, they relented and let us through when they saw Suzuno. Despite her nearly catatonic state, she inspired a wave of excitement through the ranks, and the previously weary and worn soldiers now looked in the direction of the enemy with new expressions of energy and confidence. This didn't phase Suzuno, however; her only word since leaving the village was "Tatara".
One of the soldiers took time to explain the situation. The Kutou army had been steadily making advances in the last few days, but had paused at this spot, a day's ride from the capital. Luckily, this had given Sairou the chance to amass more soldiers at both this place and the rest of the Kutou border. Though everyone was wary of what Kutou was planning, it was lucky that Sairou was given this chance to prepare and maybe even stand a chance against the war-driven country to the East.
Sometime during this conversation, a horrible thought occurred to me. My own village was near the Kutou border - what if the same thing that had happened to Amefuri's village happened there? Tokaki looked over and saw my panicked expression. "What's wrong?"
"I have to go home! What if something happened there? I told Lina she should come to the capital with us," I moaned. Why couldn't she have listened to me just once? Now she could be killed.
"Haven't you been listening? The Sairou army is stronger than ever. Nothing's going to happen."
"But what if it does? What if--"
"Nothing will. I'm not dragging two of you back to the capital, so just relax." He squeezed my arm, and I bit down on my quivering bottom lip. "Look, Lina can take care of herself. She's got enough sense to get out if there's any danger - which there won't be."
I nodded. He was right. Lina and Jin were safe there, maybe even safer than they'd be in the capital - after all, the Kutou army would be headed for the capital, and might bypass those little out-of-the-way villages. But still, I couldn't help but worry. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there remained an inkling of disquiet that told me something was going to happen.
It was another hour after we set off again until we came to another small village. Although it seemed deserted, a few people remained, including the innkeeper. They told us that everyone else had left out of fear of an advance by the Kutou army, but those who stayed behind had faith in the Sairou army and weren't too worried - at least, that's what they told us.
I followed Suzuno upstairs to our room for the night, and she surprised me by sitting on the bed and bursting into tears again. I hadn't expected her to be over the shock of what had happened to Amefuri's village already, but I thought she was still in that sort of trance that she had remained in while we were travelling. When I sat next to her on the bed and put an arm around her shoulders, she covered her face in her hands.
"I can't summon Byakko," she sobbed.
"What?" I said, unsure of whether I'd heard her correctly. "Of course you can, we have the Shinzaho now--"
"It's not that. It's because I'll..." She wiped her cheeks abruptly and looked at me, a twinkling of hope in her eyes. "There's some other way, right? Maybe we can just send emissaries to Kutou and come up with a peace settlement."
Not wanting to call her suggestion outright ridiculous, I changed the subject back. "Suzuno, why can't you summon Byakko?"
She took a shaky breath and stared down at the floor. "Wh... When I went back to my world, I talked to my father. He's the one who had the-- who knows about this place. He told me that my friend, Takiko, came here also. It was a couple years ago, I remember, but I thought she had just gone on an extended vacation or something. But she was here, in this world, as Genbu no Miko. And then she came back, and she died not long after. The god, he consumed her. She died because she summoned the god. So I can't - I don't want to die!"
I stared at her in shock. This was a part of the legend that I had never heard before - of a Miko dying immediately after summoning her god. "Maybe... Maybe she was just sick," I said weakly, but Suzuno just shook her head, more tears spilling over onto her cheeks. I sighed, unsure of what to do or say about this situation. "Why don't you just get some sleep, and try not to worry about it now, and tomorrow we'll go back to the capital and try to find out more about this." She nodded, but still didn't look too happy, so I added, "And besides, I bet Tatara will be happy to see you."
"That's right," she whispered, a small smile finally crossing her lips. "I can stay here with Tatara even if I don't summon Byakko. There has to be some other way to stop the war, right, Subaru?"
I nodded and smiled back at her, not wanting to worry her anymore and letting her drift off to sleep with that happy thought in her head. After she had crawled under the covers and was finally asleep, I rose and left the room, finding Tokaki standing outside, leaning against the wall. "She's asleep," I whispered, and he nodded and took my hand, leading me into the room across the hall.
The next thing I knew, we were on the bed in various stages of undress, kissing with a frenzied passion. I had been about to bring up Suzuno's predicament, but the moment that his lips met mine, all coherent thought flew from my mind, replaced by an all-consuming raw and unbridled passion that I had never felt before. I wanted him so much, wanted him in my arms, wanted to feel his skin against mine. It wasn't just the physical, though; I needed him and loved him more than I had the last time we had done this. These feelings were only intensified by the recent brushes with death and by the uncertainity of what was to come, the idea that we could lose each other tomorrow. No one else had ever made me feel this way, either emotionally or physically, and I let no regrets or doubts cross my mind. This was what I wanted - he was what I wanted - and nothing else mattered in that moment.
Later, in the darkness, I couldn't help but let my fears resurface. What was to happen? Would we - or could we - summon Byakko? What about Karasuki, would he just give up? Or did we in fact need his cooperation in order to summon the god? And what of Kutou, who could end so many lives in one fell swoop? There were too many questions that had yet to be answered.
As if sensing my apprehension, Tokaki tightened his arms around me, and I pressed closer to him, as if he were the life boat that would keep me afloat in this sea of uncertainity.
"What happens now?" He mumured into my hair.
"We go back to the capital, Suzuno summons Byakkoseikun, and we all live happily ever after." Saying the words aloud didn't make them sound any truer.
"I hope you're right."
So do I, I thought, and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to clear my head and get some much-needed sleep.
This chapter took me way too long x_x; I knew where I was going with future chapters, but I didn't really know how to get there, so I ended up throwing together a few smaller ideas that I had floating around into one chapter, and tada~! :D
Um... The title is a temporary one until I can see if I can think up a better one ^^; Inspired by the Sarah McLachlan song. And just in case you're wondering, I was thinking about ending the fic at chapter 13, but decided that that would leave waaaay too many things open, plus I've somehow developed a bunch of new twists (that I might get killed for, but anyway x_x;) that I can't... stop... writing... this... fic... @_@
Warning: The sap is back. I'm sorry ;_; With it comes a lime (I think/hope that's the right word... hinting at a lemon but nothing graphic, right? Dwar...) Also a bit of a 'disturbing' scene that may not be suitable/appropriate for younger viewers (am I on TV? o.o;) So red with discretion, or something ^^;;;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...Don't worry, she'll be fine. It's happened before, when our father died. Our mother and I were out, and we came back to find Father dead and poor Doulin barely awake herself, having spent the whole time trying to bring him back. She just doesn't know when to quit. I told her that she should be more careful, but does she listen to her older sister like she should?"
It was Lina's voice that woke me up, but when I opened my eyes, in the doorway was the person that I least expected. But she was there - dark hair still pulled into two long braids, that same navy blue uniform she wore whenever she wasn't in danger of being recognized.
"Suzuno?!" I exclaimed - at least, tried to, for my voice came out as a hoarse whisper. I cleared my voice and sat up, albeit a little groggily, and tried again. "Suzuno?"
She turned and her face broke into a wide smile, but before she could even try to say anything, Lina rushed to my side, with a frown on her face. "You! What do you think you were doing?" She scolded, but I ignored her and continued to stare at Suzuno, my surprise clearly shown on my face.
Suzuno giggled, although I wasn't sure whether it was because she was intimidated or amused by Lina. "I'm back!" She said simply, striking a little pose.
"But when--? How? Where were you?" My brain wasn't functioning properly, and I could barely string together a proper sentence.
"Just an hour or so ago, don't worry, you haven't missed anything. If it weren't for Jin, though, I would've been completely lost. For some reason, I appeared in the middle of the woods." She shook her head. "And I was so excited after finding where my father had hid the bo-- Er, that is, that I figured out how to come back," she finished hurriedly, but I wondered what she was originally going to say.
"Oh," I said simply, glancing at Lina, who looked mildly amused, though I wasn't sure at what. Looking back at Suzuno, the events of the night before came flooding back to me all at once. "Suzuno, we have the Suzaku Shinzaho, so we can-- Oh no, where's Tokaki?" I exclaimed, remembering the bloody state I had last seen him in.
At this, Lina burst into laughter, and while I stared at her with a horrified expression, Suzuno, wearing a smile of her own, pointed over my shoulder. I turned my head to see Tokaki sitting beside my bed, wearing a bemused look on his face. He was wearing one of Jin's shirts, which was a bit too big on him, but other than that, looked completely fine. Better than fine, in fact, I thought, and I threw my arms around his neck. "Don't scare me like that!" I cried, my voice muffled against his chest.
"Scare you?!" He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back, looking at me. "I'm not the one who passed out in a crowd of thugs! Don't you ever do that to me again!"
"Then don't run off and leave me in a tree again!" I sniffled, wiping my cheeks.
"If you'd have just stayed in the tree, then we wouldn't be here in the first place!"
"No, because you'd be dead!"
"I would not! I told you, I can take care of myself."
"Obviously not! If you could, then why did I have to--"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Suzuno interrupted suddenly, then looked at Lina with an expression of disbelief. "Are you sure you told me the truth about them?"
"What about us?" Tokaki and I asked in unison.
"It's all true," Lina giggled, and Suzuno just smiled innocently.
Tokaki shook his head, then looked at me again. "I didn't know you could do what you did back there - the entire building was frozen, nobody was moving."
"...I didn't know I could, either." I stared down at the blankets, shaking my head. "But I don't think I'll be doing it too often if I end up unconscious."
"C'mon, all you need to do is practice. Besides," he added with a sly grin, "It could come in handy if there's ever lots of people around and we--"
"What?! No!" I exclaimed in protest, but I could already feel the blush in my cheeks. Lina mumbled something that sounded like "hopeless", while Suzuno looked bewildered. "Wh-what's with this?" I said, changing the subject and tugging at Tokaki's sleeve.
"Huh? Oh, apparently you don't do clothes," he rolled his eyes. "I liked that shirt, too..."
"Well, maybe if you hadn't gotten stabbed in the first place..."
"Maybe if I didn't have to be worrying about you--"
"Okay, okay, come on," Suzuno interrupted again, this time shaking her head. "My little sister and her friends are more grown-up than this." She moved her arm slightly, and I saw that she now wore the Shinzaho bracelets around her wrist. "We have more important things to do now. I don't think Byakko-seikun would be too happy if he has to wait much longer. Besides," she added in a quiet voice, "I want to get back to the capital and see Tatara."
Tokaki narrowed his eyes, but I poked him and he didn't say anything. Everything was going fine; we had the Shinzaho, Suzuno was back, and I was certain that Amefuri and Kokie must have retrieved the Seiryuu Shinzaho and be on their way back to Sairou by now. In these were in fact the last few days that Suzuno would be in this world, I didn't want her and Tatara's time together to be ruined.
Regardless of Lina's protests, we left a few hours later, in the early afternoon. Although I didn't feel entirely at full health, I was somewhat energized by the thought that this would all soon be over, and then I could rest as much as I wanted. I told Lina that I would see her in a week or less, and if, god forbid, anything should happen, I would write her every day.
Suzuno surprised us by being an excellent horsewoman, and when I inquired as to why she had always ridden with Tatara before, she just smiled. Despite Tokaki's urgings that I should ride with him, I knew that that would lead to more than a bit of a distraction and took my own horse.
During the ride, Suzuno declined to say much about what she had done in her world, other than expressing her puzzlement when we told her how long she had been gone. She didn't expand on it, though, and instead spent the rest of the day inquiring about every little detail of what had been happening in Sairou.
Late in the afternoon, when we were deep in a forest, Suzuno halted her horse and looked around, an expression of deep thought etched on her face. "...I know this place," she finally exclaimed, a smile washing over her features. "This is where I first came to this world! And that means Amefuri's village is just ahead!" She dug in her heels and rode on ahead at a gallop. I started to follow her, feeling a little excitement at being able to meet Amefuri's family, who I'd heard so much about, but not sharing Suzuno's total exuberance. When I noticed Tokaki wasn't following, I looked back at him to see a frown on his face.
"Something's wrong," he said, and then Suzuno screamed.
We caught up with her a few moments later, the trees clearing to reveal a village - or what remained of it. The buildings were now just charred black remnants, some still smoking. Suzuno, who had already dismounted, sunk to her knees, staring in wide-eyed disbelief, tears streaming down her cheeks. For a moment, I thought that it wasn't so bad, hoping with a foolish bit of optimism that maybe everyone had escaped. But I saw soon enough that that wasn't true - when I dismounted and went over to Suzuno, I saw what she had obviously already seen.
A pile of charred bodies, half-hidden behind a building. I instantly felt sick, and swallowed hard, turning away and squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block out the horrible vision, but it was as if it were emblazoned on my eyelids. Behind me, I could hear Suzuno sobbing, and when I opened my eyes to look at Tokaki, he looked so shaken that I had to put a hand to my mouth to muffle my own sobs.
"We have to leave," Tokaki said suddenly, walking over to Suzuno and pulling her to her feet.
"W-we can't!" She protested. "What if someone's still alive, what if--"
"No one is. Listen," he said, glancing at me as well, "Karasuki's men couldn't have done this. That means the only option is Kutou. And armies don't abandon land they've captured, which means we won't be alone for long."
"But, but... Amefuri's... Her little... They were so young. How could, how could anyone..." Suzuno broke down as a new wave of sobs wracked her body.
Tokaki put an arm around her and helped her up onto his horse, looking back at me. "Are you alright?"
I wasn't, but there wasn't anything else to do, so I nodded numbly, getting back onto my own horse and not looking back at the village. Suzuno's crying eventually quieted, and she spent the rest of the ride staring down at the ground. If not for Tokaki's support, I was certain that she would just collapse to the ground as if she were a ragdoll.
Somehow, we managed to not run into the Kutou army, and instead found a camp of Sairou soldiers just as the sun was setting. Though we narrowly avoided getting killed when they brandished their swords at us, they relented and let us through when they saw Suzuno. Despite her nearly catatonic state, she inspired a wave of excitement through the ranks, and the previously weary and worn soldiers now looked in the direction of the enemy with new expressions of energy and confidence. This didn't phase Suzuno, however; her only word since leaving the village was "Tatara".
One of the soldiers took time to explain the situation. The Kutou army had been steadily making advances in the last few days, but had paused at this spot, a day's ride from the capital. Luckily, this had given Sairou the chance to amass more soldiers at both this place and the rest of the Kutou border. Though everyone was wary of what Kutou was planning, it was lucky that Sairou was given this chance to prepare and maybe even stand a chance against the war-driven country to the East.
Sometime during this conversation, a horrible thought occurred to me. My own village was near the Kutou border - what if the same thing that had happened to Amefuri's village happened there? Tokaki looked over and saw my panicked expression. "What's wrong?"
"I have to go home! What if something happened there? I told Lina she should come to the capital with us," I moaned. Why couldn't she have listened to me just once? Now she could be killed.
"Haven't you been listening? The Sairou army is stronger than ever. Nothing's going to happen."
"But what if it does? What if--"
"Nothing will. I'm not dragging two of you back to the capital, so just relax." He squeezed my arm, and I bit down on my quivering bottom lip. "Look, Lina can take care of herself. She's got enough sense to get out if there's any danger - which there won't be."
I nodded. He was right. Lina and Jin were safe there, maybe even safer than they'd be in the capital - after all, the Kutou army would be headed for the capital, and might bypass those little out-of-the-way villages. But still, I couldn't help but worry. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there remained an inkling of disquiet that told me something was going to happen.
It was another hour after we set off again until we came to another small village. Although it seemed deserted, a few people remained, including the innkeeper. They told us that everyone else had left out of fear of an advance by the Kutou army, but those who stayed behind had faith in the Sairou army and weren't too worried - at least, that's what they told us.
I followed Suzuno upstairs to our room for the night, and she surprised me by sitting on the bed and bursting into tears again. I hadn't expected her to be over the shock of what had happened to Amefuri's village already, but I thought she was still in that sort of trance that she had remained in while we were travelling. When I sat next to her on the bed and put an arm around her shoulders, she covered her face in her hands.
"I can't summon Byakko," she sobbed.
"What?" I said, unsure of whether I'd heard her correctly. "Of course you can, we have the Shinzaho now--"
"It's not that. It's because I'll..." She wiped her cheeks abruptly and looked at me, a twinkling of hope in her eyes. "There's some other way, right? Maybe we can just send emissaries to Kutou and come up with a peace settlement."
Not wanting to call her suggestion outright ridiculous, I changed the subject back. "Suzuno, why can't you summon Byakko?"
She took a shaky breath and stared down at the floor. "Wh... When I went back to my world, I talked to my father. He's the one who had the-- who knows about this place. He told me that my friend, Takiko, came here also. It was a couple years ago, I remember, but I thought she had just gone on an extended vacation or something. But she was here, in this world, as Genbu no Miko. And then she came back, and she died not long after. The god, he consumed her. She died because she summoned the god. So I can't - I don't want to die!"
I stared at her in shock. This was a part of the legend that I had never heard before - of a Miko dying immediately after summoning her god. "Maybe... Maybe she was just sick," I said weakly, but Suzuno just shook her head, more tears spilling over onto her cheeks. I sighed, unsure of what to do or say about this situation. "Why don't you just get some sleep, and try not to worry about it now, and tomorrow we'll go back to the capital and try to find out more about this." She nodded, but still didn't look too happy, so I added, "And besides, I bet Tatara will be happy to see you."
"That's right," she whispered, a small smile finally crossing her lips. "I can stay here with Tatara even if I don't summon Byakko. There has to be some other way to stop the war, right, Subaru?"
I nodded and smiled back at her, not wanting to worry her anymore and letting her drift off to sleep with that happy thought in her head. After she had crawled under the covers and was finally asleep, I rose and left the room, finding Tokaki standing outside, leaning against the wall. "She's asleep," I whispered, and he nodded and took my hand, leading me into the room across the hall.
The next thing I knew, we were on the bed in various stages of undress, kissing with a frenzied passion. I had been about to bring up Suzuno's predicament, but the moment that his lips met mine, all coherent thought flew from my mind, replaced by an all-consuming raw and unbridled passion that I had never felt before. I wanted him so much, wanted him in my arms, wanted to feel his skin against mine. It wasn't just the physical, though; I needed him and loved him more than I had the last time we had done this. These feelings were only intensified by the recent brushes with death and by the uncertainity of what was to come, the idea that we could lose each other tomorrow. No one else had ever made me feel this way, either emotionally or physically, and I let no regrets or doubts cross my mind. This was what I wanted - he was what I wanted - and nothing else mattered in that moment.
Later, in the darkness, I couldn't help but let my fears resurface. What was to happen? Would we - or could we - summon Byakko? What about Karasuki, would he just give up? Or did we in fact need his cooperation in order to summon the god? And what of Kutou, who could end so many lives in one fell swoop? There were too many questions that had yet to be answered.
As if sensing my apprehension, Tokaki tightened his arms around me, and I pressed closer to him, as if he were the life boat that would keep me afloat in this sea of uncertainity.
"What happens now?" He mumured into my hair.
"We go back to the capital, Suzuno summons Byakkoseikun, and we all live happily ever after." Saying the words aloud didn't make them sound any truer.
"I hope you're right."
So do I, I thought, and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to clear my head and get some much-needed sleep.