Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all related characters and material are the
property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. They do not belong to me, nor do
I claim such false ownership. All additional material is of my own creation
and thus belongs to me.
Chapter 8: The Pain of Such Passion By: Ansa
"Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me."
-Evanescence
"Do you remember that day on the subway? I don't think I ever felt so secure with someone else as to let myself fall asleep next to them before." Raven sat next to the hospital bed, the chair she propped herself up with taken from across the room, and her delicate hands grasping that of Beast Boys. He felt cold, the warmth had left his body, though it was still alive, she could not recognize this body in front of her. "I was surprised at myself actually; trying to push it out of my mind like it was nothing." Her own hands were warm, yet in touching Beast Boys, gently massaging the upper side of his with her thumb, they became chilled. Where she had once been quite warm, a slight shiver ran down her spine now, a chill that gave her a sickening feeling in the back of her throat. She scolded herself, wondering how she could have been so stubborn as to push back her first feelings of compassion, but, it didn't much matter anymore now. "I know better than that now. I'll never be so foolish ever again, I can promise you that." The room around her had grown dark, technically, the day had just begun, yet there was still to be several more hours of darkness. The others had left, saying their "good nights" followed by the ever popular "everything is going to be just fine." But Raven knew those were just words. They had no meaning except deceit, a cover for the uncertainty that lay ahead of them. All the lights had gone dim, the only light coming from the haunting life support monitor. "It's strange, how much I've changed in the past few days. Where, I used to think that emotions, like the ones I'm feeling now, were just something useless, something that only got in the way of things." Raven had come to despise that monitor, its incessant beeping could drive one insane, but that's not why she hated it so. Its beeping was someone else's life, but not just anyone's life, her friend's life. Each beep signaled another beat of his heart, mocking her so, making sure she knew that at any second, a single beep would sound, and would trail, and leave behind it a long flat line of light and two shattered lives. Although she refused to look at it, it made its presence known every single moment of this already harsh reality check. "Did I ever tell you why I wore that dress last night? I wore it, because I wanted to look nice for you. That's never happened to me before, and never again, not for anyone else but you." Despite earlier warning from her colleges, she had left her bed, but not without an exorbitant amount of strain. Even as she rested in her chair, she could feel a sharp stabbing pain in her chest where she was told, lay three mending ribs. But at that moment, she would not allow herself to give into the pain; all that mattered to her was being right where she was when he woke up. "To tell you the truth, I actually kind of liked it. Being all dress up, it felt nice to look good for once, to want to look good." Beast Boys body was riddled with its own scars and bruises. His ankle had been shattered, his ribs only bruised due to the animal form he was in at the time, and his left fibula was practically destroyed. His shirt had been removed to set in the heart monitor sensors, giving Raven the agony of a view of the many bruises that formed a sea of black upon his right side. I hurt so much to see him like this, like nothing else ever had before. The pain within her swelled up and swallowed her heart whole, leaving her empty inside. But her will forced her to continue on, she was determined not to let him see her cry when he awoke. She also banished the word "if" form her mind, right now there was no "if" there would be no tolerance for it. Earlier, she had been told the entire story, how it all happened, even now, she could not comprehend the words spoken to her. She had been stricken down, that much she knew, but afterwards was a complete blank. Nothing between the loud crash and the glass streaking by her was comprehendible to her; it was all a haze in her mind. But for the rest of them, the moment would never be forgotten; it would be burned into their memories for as long as they possessed them. They watched as Beast Boys eyes were filled with this image of the girl in black stricken aside like nothing, and was replaced by a fire that build up from a flame of passion in his soul. He then leapt into the air morphing into the all-too-familiar green pterodactyl, beating his wings furiously after the young girl who was also quite airborne. He tried desperately to catch up with her only to have something that felt lick a Mack Truck, slam into his side. The Monster's fist caught him in the chest, catching him off-guard, loosing his concentration as he morphed back to human form. He fell thirty feet before landing quite awkwardly on the pavement, his face twisted in pain as his legs nearly caved in beneath him. The pain shot through his entire body, paralyzing him and numbing his senses at the same time. That was just the opportunity the thing needed, sending its palm down upon the earth, sandwiching Beast Boy beneath the two, kicking up large clouds of dust that blinded his teammates. Then, silence came; darkness came for him as well, only he had yet to awaken from it. Raven could almost see it in her minds eye, Robin's description of the events provided excruciating detail, enough for the sound to ring through the mocking beep of his heart. "That's why I need you to get better for me okay? So I can start looking good for you again." This was implausibly tough for her, keeping herself from crying took great strength and will, allowing only quick, dry sobs that only lasted about as long as the beeps of the monitor next to her. Her hands began to cringe, her grip becoming tighter on Beast Boys frigid hands. She was starting to loose all control now. "Hey, let's make a deal okay? When you snap out of this, we'll go to that tofu place you're always talking about. Then later, maybe we can go to the mall so you can help me pick out some more dresses. Okay?" As with all of her questions, there came only the beeping of his heart as a response. For a moment, she couldn't even hear that, her own heart beat coming into focus, pounding in her ears with the same rhythm of his BBs. They were one now, their hearts beating together, kindred spirits, she knew that now. Even though it was only a heart beat, that was all they needed to be together. And that was what she now realized was her only true wish in life. That was what she wanted now, that was what she wanted forever and a day. All she needed was him to live in peace with herself. "Please, you can't do this. Not now. You have to live for me, you can't leave me; you just can't." Raven's will had been under tremendous strain, and had just decided to give in, and the tears came once again. The dry sobs turned wet, and more frequent, forcing her to collapse, burying her face in the mattress, her tears soaking into the sterile sheets, giving them a sense of being to them. Her sobs came harder now, between which her mouth tried forming words, but nothing came out, only her cries followed by the water leaking from her eyes. Her will was shattered, her heart was sinking deep in the void of sorrow that had returned from its slumber, and her soul was left without a partner, without a meaning. Between her cries and the mocking heart monitor, the silence had been broken beyond repair. But somehow, amongst her sorrowful sounds escaping her lips, three words were able to leak through, the three words she never thought she would ever say. "I love you." She was shaken by these words, frightened by them. Love, something she had never experienced before, was something that she feared so. So many questions about it raced through her mind. Did he love her? How long will it last? What would she do if he left her? These questions were almost as mocking to her as the heart monitor. Her cries only intensified at this, that is, until she felt a slight pressure on her right hand, still attached to that of Beast Boys. Her heart stopped, she could almost hear the trailing tone in her head as her sobs stopped suddenly and her head lifted slowly. The pressure was faint, but just enough to get her attention, and was slowly getting stronger. "R-Raven." A weak voice made her heart jump once again, this time bringing forth the flow of tears, rather than halt them. She turned her head to see Beast Boys eyes pried open slightly, a weak smile forming under the air mask over his face. Raven's face seemed distorted, a smile trying its best to form out of her still weeping face, her eyes showing the same love and compassion as his, kindred spirits once again. Around the corner of the door frame, the rest of the Titans peered in, their hearts filled with a mix of relief and joy at the scene unfolding before them. Starfire's understanding of human emotions becoming slightly clearer. "We should go; it would be cruel to disturb them now."
Note from the Author~ Okay folks, happy now? And just for the record I was never planning on killing anyone off. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it and hope you will stay on for the last few chapters of this series.
Chapter 8: The Pain of Such Passion By: Ansa
"Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me."
-Evanescence
"Do you remember that day on the subway? I don't think I ever felt so secure with someone else as to let myself fall asleep next to them before." Raven sat next to the hospital bed, the chair she propped herself up with taken from across the room, and her delicate hands grasping that of Beast Boys. He felt cold, the warmth had left his body, though it was still alive, she could not recognize this body in front of her. "I was surprised at myself actually; trying to push it out of my mind like it was nothing." Her own hands were warm, yet in touching Beast Boys, gently massaging the upper side of his with her thumb, they became chilled. Where she had once been quite warm, a slight shiver ran down her spine now, a chill that gave her a sickening feeling in the back of her throat. She scolded herself, wondering how she could have been so stubborn as to push back her first feelings of compassion, but, it didn't much matter anymore now. "I know better than that now. I'll never be so foolish ever again, I can promise you that." The room around her had grown dark, technically, the day had just begun, yet there was still to be several more hours of darkness. The others had left, saying their "good nights" followed by the ever popular "everything is going to be just fine." But Raven knew those were just words. They had no meaning except deceit, a cover for the uncertainty that lay ahead of them. All the lights had gone dim, the only light coming from the haunting life support monitor. "It's strange, how much I've changed in the past few days. Where, I used to think that emotions, like the ones I'm feeling now, were just something useless, something that only got in the way of things." Raven had come to despise that monitor, its incessant beeping could drive one insane, but that's not why she hated it so. Its beeping was someone else's life, but not just anyone's life, her friend's life. Each beep signaled another beat of his heart, mocking her so, making sure she knew that at any second, a single beep would sound, and would trail, and leave behind it a long flat line of light and two shattered lives. Although she refused to look at it, it made its presence known every single moment of this already harsh reality check. "Did I ever tell you why I wore that dress last night? I wore it, because I wanted to look nice for you. That's never happened to me before, and never again, not for anyone else but you." Despite earlier warning from her colleges, she had left her bed, but not without an exorbitant amount of strain. Even as she rested in her chair, she could feel a sharp stabbing pain in her chest where she was told, lay three mending ribs. But at that moment, she would not allow herself to give into the pain; all that mattered to her was being right where she was when he woke up. "To tell you the truth, I actually kind of liked it. Being all dress up, it felt nice to look good for once, to want to look good." Beast Boys body was riddled with its own scars and bruises. His ankle had been shattered, his ribs only bruised due to the animal form he was in at the time, and his left fibula was practically destroyed. His shirt had been removed to set in the heart monitor sensors, giving Raven the agony of a view of the many bruises that formed a sea of black upon his right side. I hurt so much to see him like this, like nothing else ever had before. The pain within her swelled up and swallowed her heart whole, leaving her empty inside. But her will forced her to continue on, she was determined not to let him see her cry when he awoke. She also banished the word "if" form her mind, right now there was no "if" there would be no tolerance for it. Earlier, she had been told the entire story, how it all happened, even now, she could not comprehend the words spoken to her. She had been stricken down, that much she knew, but afterwards was a complete blank. Nothing between the loud crash and the glass streaking by her was comprehendible to her; it was all a haze in her mind. But for the rest of them, the moment would never be forgotten; it would be burned into their memories for as long as they possessed them. They watched as Beast Boys eyes were filled with this image of the girl in black stricken aside like nothing, and was replaced by a fire that build up from a flame of passion in his soul. He then leapt into the air morphing into the all-too-familiar green pterodactyl, beating his wings furiously after the young girl who was also quite airborne. He tried desperately to catch up with her only to have something that felt lick a Mack Truck, slam into his side. The Monster's fist caught him in the chest, catching him off-guard, loosing his concentration as he morphed back to human form. He fell thirty feet before landing quite awkwardly on the pavement, his face twisted in pain as his legs nearly caved in beneath him. The pain shot through his entire body, paralyzing him and numbing his senses at the same time. That was just the opportunity the thing needed, sending its palm down upon the earth, sandwiching Beast Boy beneath the two, kicking up large clouds of dust that blinded his teammates. Then, silence came; darkness came for him as well, only he had yet to awaken from it. Raven could almost see it in her minds eye, Robin's description of the events provided excruciating detail, enough for the sound to ring through the mocking beep of his heart. "That's why I need you to get better for me okay? So I can start looking good for you again." This was implausibly tough for her, keeping herself from crying took great strength and will, allowing only quick, dry sobs that only lasted about as long as the beeps of the monitor next to her. Her hands began to cringe, her grip becoming tighter on Beast Boys frigid hands. She was starting to loose all control now. "Hey, let's make a deal okay? When you snap out of this, we'll go to that tofu place you're always talking about. Then later, maybe we can go to the mall so you can help me pick out some more dresses. Okay?" As with all of her questions, there came only the beeping of his heart as a response. For a moment, she couldn't even hear that, her own heart beat coming into focus, pounding in her ears with the same rhythm of his BBs. They were one now, their hearts beating together, kindred spirits, she knew that now. Even though it was only a heart beat, that was all they needed to be together. And that was what she now realized was her only true wish in life. That was what she wanted now, that was what she wanted forever and a day. All she needed was him to live in peace with herself. "Please, you can't do this. Not now. You have to live for me, you can't leave me; you just can't." Raven's will had been under tremendous strain, and had just decided to give in, and the tears came once again. The dry sobs turned wet, and more frequent, forcing her to collapse, burying her face in the mattress, her tears soaking into the sterile sheets, giving them a sense of being to them. Her sobs came harder now, between which her mouth tried forming words, but nothing came out, only her cries followed by the water leaking from her eyes. Her will was shattered, her heart was sinking deep in the void of sorrow that had returned from its slumber, and her soul was left without a partner, without a meaning. Between her cries and the mocking heart monitor, the silence had been broken beyond repair. But somehow, amongst her sorrowful sounds escaping her lips, three words were able to leak through, the three words she never thought she would ever say. "I love you." She was shaken by these words, frightened by them. Love, something she had never experienced before, was something that she feared so. So many questions about it raced through her mind. Did he love her? How long will it last? What would she do if he left her? These questions were almost as mocking to her as the heart monitor. Her cries only intensified at this, that is, until she felt a slight pressure on her right hand, still attached to that of Beast Boys. Her heart stopped, she could almost hear the trailing tone in her head as her sobs stopped suddenly and her head lifted slowly. The pressure was faint, but just enough to get her attention, and was slowly getting stronger. "R-Raven." A weak voice made her heart jump once again, this time bringing forth the flow of tears, rather than halt them. She turned her head to see Beast Boys eyes pried open slightly, a weak smile forming under the air mask over his face. Raven's face seemed distorted, a smile trying its best to form out of her still weeping face, her eyes showing the same love and compassion as his, kindred spirits once again. Around the corner of the door frame, the rest of the Titans peered in, their hearts filled with a mix of relief and joy at the scene unfolding before them. Starfire's understanding of human emotions becoming slightly clearer. "We should go; it would be cruel to disturb them now."
Note from the Author~ Okay folks, happy now? And just for the record I was never planning on killing anyone off. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it and hope you will stay on for the last few chapters of this series.