Hallucinations
So she arrived just in time. She could hear the voices and their footfall already. All four the four students were there. Remus Lupin, in his werewolf form and Sirius Black. Then James Potter holding Lily Evans beside him. Without further ado she strode in front of them and checked the girl for injuries. When she found none, she said: "Quick. Shut your eyes and don't make a sound. And whatever you will see, never ever give in to it." She warned them severely.
"What is going on, Professor?" James asked her and there was fright in his eyes.
"The night and the darkness are crossing unto us. The nightmares will come. Fear it." She told them quickly, even if they did not know what she was saying, speaking in riddles they could not understand. Already the fire in her hand went dimmer and dimmer and then it went out. A sudden rush of strong wind came in, chilling them to their bones. The darkness complete and frightening.
James felt like he was actually being immersed in the blackness. He felt it crawl on many feet scuffling and sometimes growling and hissing. He felt a cold airy hand touch him and he shivered.
Then came the visions.
Lily, from the darkness of her sleep, opened her eyes. She was in a small room, decorated with cute little things for babies. She lightly strode to a wooden crib and saw a baby wrapped in many swaddling clothes so she could not see the eyes. Only the tiny nose and mouth and the grubby little fists waving for her. He was happily gurgling and she felt happiness flood her too. She picked him up and he laughed in his own babyish way. Then the windows and doors burst open and a strong wind filled the room with cold. A man with black hood and cloak swished silently from behind her. She looked back at him and she knew that they were in danger. So she backed away.
"Don't go away. " it said silkily. "Come with me."
There was something in its voice that wanted her to follow what it said. But the baby cried and she realized that it meant to kill them. SO she ran outside the door of the nursery and down and down the stairs to where the main door was, still carrying the poor baby with her.
But it followed them without effort, gliding more than walking in its own gentle swishy way. But now a wand stuck out of its robes, aiming at them.
She wanted to run and escape from it. It was her strongest instinct. She opened the door and ran on the dark street with the warm summer air upon her.
James ran home. Already a big banner hung out in their front saying Happy Homecoming James. He wanted to be home. It seemed a long while since he had been there. He eagerly opened the front door and entered.
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Everyone of family and friend was there, singing happily to someone in the middle.
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to you
He inched his way and saw another James Potter in the middle. They do not seem to take notice of him, the real one. They pushed a lot of gifts in his -the other James's arms. They cheered him, laughed with him, they all seemed happy and they all loved the other. Sirius, Remus and Peter patting the other and Lily Evans, who was in the crowd, gave him a quick peck on the cheek then hugged the clone.
He was frustrated and angry. This can't be happening. He was the original James Potter.
Make a wish, they said. The other beamed and blew all of the candles in one breath.
Everything went dark. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. It was his clone.
"Who are you?" he demanded angrily.
"I'm James Potter." The clone answered.
"BUT I'M JAMES POTTER!" he shouted back.
The clone laughed. "No! You are the fake. See for yourself." It said calmly.
From his right appeared a mirror and he looked in it. What he saw was a total loser, a failure and everything he did not want to become.
"I told you so." It said to him. "You are hated, unloved and repulsed by everyone. And look at me. I have a lot of friends and everybody loves me, not to mention Evans."
He still did not believe. "I'm still me. I know how to fly." He said desperately to give the other or himself the proof of his own identity.
"Really? Show me then." It replied coolly.
A broom was handed to him and he reached for it. He positioned himself but to his surprise, he did not fly. "Fly, you stupid broom!" he commanded. He looked at his broom and saw only a stick with a few dried twigs on its end. A sickening dread balled in his stomach.
The other rolled in laughter. "Now, now. Be a man and give it up. You're a goner! Get a grip and read my lips. L-O-S-E-R. Get lost" it kicked him viciously that he fell on the floor. Every time his other hit him, the pain went deeper than he expected. Not that it came from the blows but from inside him. Who was he anyway if he wasn't James Potter? He was as if experiencing the time when their family went to a crowded city foreign to him. He was distracted by a shining coin on the street. He approached to take it but a foot cruelly kicked it into a sewer hole. He felt like crying and decided to go to his parents. But they were nowhere to be found to. He was lost and all alone. Just like now.
"I'll show some pity on you. I'm not that merciless you know. Here. And do it fast."
Something landed in front of him. It was a bread knife. He took it up and thought, dying would be easier for him.
Lily was now exhausted from running. Her legs ached and her arms threatened to lose grip on the child. No! she told herself. She wont give up the child or die in the attempt saving it..
"It's no use running away from me." It taunted.
She suddenly stumbled on a tree root on the pavement and sent her sprawling on the hard cement. I don't want to die, she thought. She screamed for help as the figure neared her.
James dropped the knife suddenly. There was a voice from afar, calling for someone. It called for help. Someone needed him. Maybe the other was wrong after all. He had a purpose in life even if he may not have an identity. "No." he whispered.
"No what?"
"I won't kill myself. I'm real. Someone needs me. And no one can't take that from me." He said more to himself than the other.
James swam to consciousness and realized that he was still in the Shrieking Shack and some of the darkness have been lifted. Professor Sinclair was conscious and murmuring something and grasped by both of her hands like a sword in front of her was a familiar looking dagger. Sirius was sprawled on the floor and Lupin, still a werewolf, twitching uneasily. Lily was still in his arms. He must've fallen asleep holding her. She was whimpering and trails of tears were in her cheeks. "Lily, Lily. Wake up." He nudged her but she would not wake up still. Suddenly she trembled greatly and a loud whimper escaped her lips. He rocked her gently but it did no good. Instead, he cupped her cheek and placed his lips on hers. Her lips were soft and warm and her scent flooded him. It felt weird and once more, he felt his heart twist. Doing this, she calmed down and whatever was plaguing her left her. He drew back and was, unfortunately, disappointed. He knew she did not know he kissed her. She did not respond in a way he thought she would. But he was stricken in disbelief. He kissed her! He thought. Joy swelled inside him.
Sirius woke up next, still gasping from breath. Thankfully all of it was only a dream. Then he saw his best friend holding Evans in an awestruck way. He smiled. He did miss something worth seeing. His gaze shot across him. Remus was returning in his human form. Then when human enough, Sirius approached him though still tired.
He was human again! Remus thought. He scanned his body for bite marks. He realized it was all a vision. He did not sit up. All of his energy was drained. Through half-closed eye lids, he saw Sirius approaching him.
"All right, Remus?" he said.
Remus nodded in return. He was put up against the wall and he saw Sirius smiling back. Then something caught his eye. "Sirius, Professor." he started weakly.
He turned around and sees Professor Sinclair being wrapped by many protuberances. The very darkness was alive in its own way.
She felt the freezing hands grab. She could hear the many voices wanting blood. They wanted it so much they nearly caught the girl and they wouldn't leave unless they would have blood. But she refused and instead it wanted her. "Go back from whence you came. This is not your place. And you shall hove none of us lest I would force you to leave." She said to them but they clamored hungrily. They wrapped their hands around her, carrying them with her and draining her of her energy but they cannot disobey what she said and soon went away screaming. It had fled but she felt faint and looked at her own arm. The whipcord-like hands made a mark on her pale forearm and two large punctures welled with scarlet drops. Her blood. She staggered to keep her balance and went to her student.
"Professor?" James asked worriedly. The clouds have unveiled the moonlight and Remus showed signs of transforming again.
"Quick, out of the room." She said hoarsely.
Sirius went out first then James carrying the still-sleeping Lily with him. She staggered behind them and locked the shack. "Is Ms. Evans alright?" she asked.
James looked at Lily then said "I don't know, Professor."
She limply went to him and felt Lily's pulse then forehead. She winced as she did this and withdrew her hand quickly. "She's alright. But it appears she was more affected than both of you." She replied
Sirius never saw anything like what she did. Whatever that was assaulting them fled at her words. No doubt she was strange but to command something like that was beyond strange. "What was that Professor?" he inquired.
"There are things in this world you are not supposed to know. You saw already too much than you would've cared for. Be thankful the nightmares did not take its toll on you." She answered weakly.
Sinclair walked a few steps but she lost much blood already. In a few steps she faltered and fell on the ground.
In a few moments Dumbledore, Mcgonnagal and Pomfrey rushed to them. Professor Mcgonnagal gathered them three as Madame Pomfrey checked on them. James heard their deputy headmistress ask what happened but he was too tired to answer so he let Sirius talk. As he explained, the nurse clucked her tongue.
Mcgonnagal wore a thin line on her face. "Goodness what comes in your mind, you both! And including Evans in your foolishness! You'd have to do detentions with Mr. Filch and I'd have to deduct 20 points from each of you! Think yourself blessed since Professor Sinclair was with you!" she exasperatedly scolded the two of them.
"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter," a gentle voice addressed them both. It was Dumbledore. "I'd like to have a few words with you privately in my office as we arrive to the school."
Sirius and James exchanged dark looks and followed their headmaster back.
In Dumbledore's office, Albus bade them sit down on the soft chairs he conjured.
Warily, both of them sat stiffly, fearing whatever their punishment would be.
Dumbledore probably sensed their fear because he smiled towards them, eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses. "To begin with, do tell me how both of you ended up in the Shrieking Shack and what happened as you arrived."
"It's that we dared each other to go in the Shrieking Shack tonight and we did not know that Evans tailed after us. When we realized it, it was already too late so we went on with the dare. We did not think there would be a werewolf inside the shack." Sirius lied smoothly then paused.
"Go on." Dumbledore urged them.
James answered this time. "Professor Sinclair came to us then told us to shut our eyes. We had dreams then we woke up and we saw her fighting something. It seemed to strangle her too but it left after she said something. Then we left the shack and she fainted." He answered half- truthfully.
Dumbledore's eyes seemed to bore in them and he could feel Sirius shift uneasily beside him. If they discovered the real truth, they'd be even expelled.
"It's all right. What matters is that you are safe and sound. But I ask you not to do those things again and not to disclose what you have seen or felt to anyone who wasn't with you. You may go now." The headmaster dismissed them and closed the door behind them.
Sirius let out a great sigh of relief. "I thought we're going to be expelled." He smiled wryly.
"Forget expelled. I thought we're going to be dead." James added and smiled too. Slowly they walked away. "Where's Evans?" he asked as they climbed up to their dormitories.
"Hospital Wing maybe. What do you think about what Dumbledore said? He said not to tell anyone. Of what?" Sirius said aloud in the corridor.
James shrugged lightly, messing his hair with his left hand. "Who knows." He said briefly. He was too tired to care. What he wanted now was some sleep, nightmares or no. Let the other matters handle themselves. He climbed up his bed and threw himself on the covers, removing only his shoes and robe. As he stared into the moonlight he touched his lips lightly. He kissed Lily Evans. He grew sad and he turned against his pillow. He thought she'd never realize how much that night meant to him and what happened between them. He was sure that the next morning, she'd never give him a second thought ever again.
He never knew how wrong he was as he thought of this.
So she arrived just in time. She could hear the voices and their footfall already. All four the four students were there. Remus Lupin, in his werewolf form and Sirius Black. Then James Potter holding Lily Evans beside him. Without further ado she strode in front of them and checked the girl for injuries. When she found none, she said: "Quick. Shut your eyes and don't make a sound. And whatever you will see, never ever give in to it." She warned them severely.
"What is going on, Professor?" James asked her and there was fright in his eyes.
"The night and the darkness are crossing unto us. The nightmares will come. Fear it." She told them quickly, even if they did not know what she was saying, speaking in riddles they could not understand. Already the fire in her hand went dimmer and dimmer and then it went out. A sudden rush of strong wind came in, chilling them to their bones. The darkness complete and frightening.
James felt like he was actually being immersed in the blackness. He felt it crawl on many feet scuffling and sometimes growling and hissing. He felt a cold airy hand touch him and he shivered.
Then came the visions.
Lily, from the darkness of her sleep, opened her eyes. She was in a small room, decorated with cute little things for babies. She lightly strode to a wooden crib and saw a baby wrapped in many swaddling clothes so she could not see the eyes. Only the tiny nose and mouth and the grubby little fists waving for her. He was happily gurgling and she felt happiness flood her too. She picked him up and he laughed in his own babyish way. Then the windows and doors burst open and a strong wind filled the room with cold. A man with black hood and cloak swished silently from behind her. She looked back at him and she knew that they were in danger. So she backed away.
"Don't go away. " it said silkily. "Come with me."
There was something in its voice that wanted her to follow what it said. But the baby cried and she realized that it meant to kill them. SO she ran outside the door of the nursery and down and down the stairs to where the main door was, still carrying the poor baby with her.
But it followed them without effort, gliding more than walking in its own gentle swishy way. But now a wand stuck out of its robes, aiming at them.
She wanted to run and escape from it. It was her strongest instinct. She opened the door and ran on the dark street with the warm summer air upon her.
James ran home. Already a big banner hung out in their front saying Happy Homecoming James. He wanted to be home. It seemed a long while since he had been there. He eagerly opened the front door and entered.
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Everyone of family and friend was there, singing happily to someone in the middle.
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to you
He inched his way and saw another James Potter in the middle. They do not seem to take notice of him, the real one. They pushed a lot of gifts in his -the other James's arms. They cheered him, laughed with him, they all seemed happy and they all loved the other. Sirius, Remus and Peter patting the other and Lily Evans, who was in the crowd, gave him a quick peck on the cheek then hugged the clone.
He was frustrated and angry. This can't be happening. He was the original James Potter.
Make a wish, they said. The other beamed and blew all of the candles in one breath.
Everything went dark. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. It was his clone.
"Who are you?" he demanded angrily.
"I'm James Potter." The clone answered.
"BUT I'M JAMES POTTER!" he shouted back.
The clone laughed. "No! You are the fake. See for yourself." It said calmly.
From his right appeared a mirror and he looked in it. What he saw was a total loser, a failure and everything he did not want to become.
"I told you so." It said to him. "You are hated, unloved and repulsed by everyone. And look at me. I have a lot of friends and everybody loves me, not to mention Evans."
He still did not believe. "I'm still me. I know how to fly." He said desperately to give the other or himself the proof of his own identity.
"Really? Show me then." It replied coolly.
A broom was handed to him and he reached for it. He positioned himself but to his surprise, he did not fly. "Fly, you stupid broom!" he commanded. He looked at his broom and saw only a stick with a few dried twigs on its end. A sickening dread balled in his stomach.
The other rolled in laughter. "Now, now. Be a man and give it up. You're a goner! Get a grip and read my lips. L-O-S-E-R. Get lost" it kicked him viciously that he fell on the floor. Every time his other hit him, the pain went deeper than he expected. Not that it came from the blows but from inside him. Who was he anyway if he wasn't James Potter? He was as if experiencing the time when their family went to a crowded city foreign to him. He was distracted by a shining coin on the street. He approached to take it but a foot cruelly kicked it into a sewer hole. He felt like crying and decided to go to his parents. But they were nowhere to be found to. He was lost and all alone. Just like now.
"I'll show some pity on you. I'm not that merciless you know. Here. And do it fast."
Something landed in front of him. It was a bread knife. He took it up and thought, dying would be easier for him.
Lily was now exhausted from running. Her legs ached and her arms threatened to lose grip on the child. No! she told herself. She wont give up the child or die in the attempt saving it..
"It's no use running away from me." It taunted.
She suddenly stumbled on a tree root on the pavement and sent her sprawling on the hard cement. I don't want to die, she thought. She screamed for help as the figure neared her.
James dropped the knife suddenly. There was a voice from afar, calling for someone. It called for help. Someone needed him. Maybe the other was wrong after all. He had a purpose in life even if he may not have an identity. "No." he whispered.
"No what?"
"I won't kill myself. I'm real. Someone needs me. And no one can't take that from me." He said more to himself than the other.
James swam to consciousness and realized that he was still in the Shrieking Shack and some of the darkness have been lifted. Professor Sinclair was conscious and murmuring something and grasped by both of her hands like a sword in front of her was a familiar looking dagger. Sirius was sprawled on the floor and Lupin, still a werewolf, twitching uneasily. Lily was still in his arms. He must've fallen asleep holding her. She was whimpering and trails of tears were in her cheeks. "Lily, Lily. Wake up." He nudged her but she would not wake up still. Suddenly she trembled greatly and a loud whimper escaped her lips. He rocked her gently but it did no good. Instead, he cupped her cheek and placed his lips on hers. Her lips were soft and warm and her scent flooded him. It felt weird and once more, he felt his heart twist. Doing this, she calmed down and whatever was plaguing her left her. He drew back and was, unfortunately, disappointed. He knew she did not know he kissed her. She did not respond in a way he thought she would. But he was stricken in disbelief. He kissed her! He thought. Joy swelled inside him.
Sirius woke up next, still gasping from breath. Thankfully all of it was only a dream. Then he saw his best friend holding Evans in an awestruck way. He smiled. He did miss something worth seeing. His gaze shot across him. Remus was returning in his human form. Then when human enough, Sirius approached him though still tired.
He was human again! Remus thought. He scanned his body for bite marks. He realized it was all a vision. He did not sit up. All of his energy was drained. Through half-closed eye lids, he saw Sirius approaching him.
"All right, Remus?" he said.
Remus nodded in return. He was put up against the wall and he saw Sirius smiling back. Then something caught his eye. "Sirius, Professor." he started weakly.
He turned around and sees Professor Sinclair being wrapped by many protuberances. The very darkness was alive in its own way.
She felt the freezing hands grab. She could hear the many voices wanting blood. They wanted it so much they nearly caught the girl and they wouldn't leave unless they would have blood. But she refused and instead it wanted her. "Go back from whence you came. This is not your place. And you shall hove none of us lest I would force you to leave." She said to them but they clamored hungrily. They wrapped their hands around her, carrying them with her and draining her of her energy but they cannot disobey what she said and soon went away screaming. It had fled but she felt faint and looked at her own arm. The whipcord-like hands made a mark on her pale forearm and two large punctures welled with scarlet drops. Her blood. She staggered to keep her balance and went to her student.
"Professor?" James asked worriedly. The clouds have unveiled the moonlight and Remus showed signs of transforming again.
"Quick, out of the room." She said hoarsely.
Sirius went out first then James carrying the still-sleeping Lily with him. She staggered behind them and locked the shack. "Is Ms. Evans alright?" she asked.
James looked at Lily then said "I don't know, Professor."
She limply went to him and felt Lily's pulse then forehead. She winced as she did this and withdrew her hand quickly. "She's alright. But it appears she was more affected than both of you." She replied
Sirius never saw anything like what she did. Whatever that was assaulting them fled at her words. No doubt she was strange but to command something like that was beyond strange. "What was that Professor?" he inquired.
"There are things in this world you are not supposed to know. You saw already too much than you would've cared for. Be thankful the nightmares did not take its toll on you." She answered weakly.
Sinclair walked a few steps but she lost much blood already. In a few steps she faltered and fell on the ground.
In a few moments Dumbledore, Mcgonnagal and Pomfrey rushed to them. Professor Mcgonnagal gathered them three as Madame Pomfrey checked on them. James heard their deputy headmistress ask what happened but he was too tired to answer so he let Sirius talk. As he explained, the nurse clucked her tongue.
Mcgonnagal wore a thin line on her face. "Goodness what comes in your mind, you both! And including Evans in your foolishness! You'd have to do detentions with Mr. Filch and I'd have to deduct 20 points from each of you! Think yourself blessed since Professor Sinclair was with you!" she exasperatedly scolded the two of them.
"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter," a gentle voice addressed them both. It was Dumbledore. "I'd like to have a few words with you privately in my office as we arrive to the school."
Sirius and James exchanged dark looks and followed their headmaster back.
In Dumbledore's office, Albus bade them sit down on the soft chairs he conjured.
Warily, both of them sat stiffly, fearing whatever their punishment would be.
Dumbledore probably sensed their fear because he smiled towards them, eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses. "To begin with, do tell me how both of you ended up in the Shrieking Shack and what happened as you arrived."
"It's that we dared each other to go in the Shrieking Shack tonight and we did not know that Evans tailed after us. When we realized it, it was already too late so we went on with the dare. We did not think there would be a werewolf inside the shack." Sirius lied smoothly then paused.
"Go on." Dumbledore urged them.
James answered this time. "Professor Sinclair came to us then told us to shut our eyes. We had dreams then we woke up and we saw her fighting something. It seemed to strangle her too but it left after she said something. Then we left the shack and she fainted." He answered half- truthfully.
Dumbledore's eyes seemed to bore in them and he could feel Sirius shift uneasily beside him. If they discovered the real truth, they'd be even expelled.
"It's all right. What matters is that you are safe and sound. But I ask you not to do those things again and not to disclose what you have seen or felt to anyone who wasn't with you. You may go now." The headmaster dismissed them and closed the door behind them.
Sirius let out a great sigh of relief. "I thought we're going to be expelled." He smiled wryly.
"Forget expelled. I thought we're going to be dead." James added and smiled too. Slowly they walked away. "Where's Evans?" he asked as they climbed up to their dormitories.
"Hospital Wing maybe. What do you think about what Dumbledore said? He said not to tell anyone. Of what?" Sirius said aloud in the corridor.
James shrugged lightly, messing his hair with his left hand. "Who knows." He said briefly. He was too tired to care. What he wanted now was some sleep, nightmares or no. Let the other matters handle themselves. He climbed up his bed and threw himself on the covers, removing only his shoes and robe. As he stared into the moonlight he touched his lips lightly. He kissed Lily Evans. He grew sad and he turned against his pillow. He thought she'd never realize how much that night meant to him and what happened between them. He was sure that the next morning, she'd never give him a second thought ever again.
He never knew how wrong he was as he thought of this.