Greetings! Sorry it's taken me sooo long to update, but my boss insisted that I do some real work. As if writing fanfics wasn't real work. Pffft. Anyway, this chapter will be mainly a flashback from Meryl's POV. Thanks for your reviews! They're a big help to me! Enjoy!

When It's Over

Chapter 3: Bittersweet Memories

Meryl tossed and turned in her bed as sleep eluded her. Dawn was beginning to creep over the horizon as the early rays of sunlight slowly filtered into in the room. She finally gave up on sleep and sat upright in bed, and brought her knees up to her chest, as she leaned her forehead against them.

Had it all been a dream? Did Vash really come back after all this time?

When Meryl first saw Vash sitting at the table yesterday, she almost fainted from shock. She had been torn between throwing her arms around him to welcome him back, and using those same arms to wring his neck for staying away for so long without even mentioning to them that he was all right. She certainly hadn't expected the reaction she received from him regarding their daughter.

Her mind wandered back to the night everything changed…

Vash had been resting after that ordeal with the townspeople just outside of the town of LR, when they tried to kill him. As she looked back in hindsight, Meryl shuddered at what could have happened. He didn't even try to defend himself, still agonizing over the fact that he had taken another person's life, even it was to save Milly and herself from Legato. Meryl still didn't know what possessed her to intervene and try to stop someone who was ready to blow her head off. It was no wonder Vash was the way he was. He had to face situations like that all the time. And yet, he managed to stay true to himself, even at the cost of his own life. Perhaps that was what drew her to him in the first place.

Meryl had peeked in his room that same night to make sure he was all right. She heard steady breathing coming from his bed and was about to leave, when he stopped her.

"Meryl," he called out quietly.

She was surprised that Vash had called her by her first name and stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep."

"I couldn't sleep," he replied, wincing in pain as he attempted to get up in a sitting position.

Meryl immediately rushed to his side, helping him up.

"You should take it easy. Your wounds haven't properly healed yet."

"Why did you save me today?" he asked.

"Why do you ask?" she replied in a wary voice.

"Just curious, I guess. I always had the impression that you didn't like me."

"I never said that I didn't like you, Vash," she said softly. "If you must know, I did what I did because I…I…"

Meryl was about to tell him how she felt, but then chickened out at the last second.

"…I didn't want you to die."

"He could've killed you, you know," Vash replied somberly.

"But he didn't. And we're both still alive, so does it really matter?"

Vash looked at her thoughtfully with those piercing blue-green eyes. Despite his penchant for women, he found himself drawn to the brave and selfless woman who stood before him. Meryl was the first woman who had ever cared about him enough to risk her life for him, other than Rem. In many ways, she reminded him of the woman who meant the world to him.

Meryl began to feel uncomfortable as Vash continued to stare at her.

"Well, I'd better let you get some rest. Good night," she replied making a hasty exit.

Vash caught her wrist gently, preventing her from leaving. "Don't go."

She turned to look at him. Even in the darkness of the room, she could tell that some thing was still bothering him. Despite his newfound resolve to save Knives, Vash still felt a twinge of uncertainty. It was just like him.

Meryl sat down at the edge of the bed, keeping a safe distance between them.

"How long do you plan to go on like this, Vash?"

"What do you mean?"

"You KNOW what I'm talking about. You do this every time. Do you realize how frustrating it is watching you go on an emotional roller coaster ride every time you feel like you've betrayed Rem's memory?"

He turned his gaze away. It was still painful talking about her.

"I owe it to her. She gave her life for me."

"Do you think she would want you to live this way?" Meryl challenged. "Sooner or later you have to move forward and start living your own life."

"You don't understand."

"Then make me understand. Why can't you just let go of the past?"

"It's …it's like if I don't keep my promise to Rem, I'll lose her forever. She's all I have left of everything that was good in my life."

Meryl's smoky blue-gray eyes softened in sympathy. He sounded like a lost little boy, despite the fact he was probably the most dangerous man on the planet.

"Rem will always be with you, Vash. As long as you remember the people you care about, they're never really gone."

He lifted his head to look at her. It was if she knew exactly what was going through his mind.

"I've never told anyone about Rem. Why did I tell you?"

"Temporary insanity?" she quipped lightly, trying to ease the situation.

The corners of his mouth twitched in amusement. "Yeah, maybe."

There was a moment of silence where neither one of them said a single word.

"I want you to know that I'm grateful for what you and Milly have done for me."

"Well, we weren't going to let you die," Meryl replied in a soft voice. "You're still going to go face your brother, aren't you?"

Vash's eyes darkened immediately. "I'm the only one who can stop him. Besides, I promised to take care of him."

She lowered her gaze to the floor. "So, I guess there's nothing I can say to change your mind."

"Meryl…"

"Just promise me you'll be careful, Vash," she interrupted him quickly.

"I'll be back," he replied determinedly. "There's something that I've wanted to ask you for a long time."

"What is it?"

"You followed me even though I told you to stay away. Why?"

"You should know by now that I never listen to word you say."

"I'm serious."

"Because we're friends, Vash. I can admit it, even if you can't."

"I can admit it," he replied automatically.

"Friends don't abandon each other."

Vash suddenly crossed the gap between them and gathered her into his arms. Meryl was momentarily shocked, but returned his embrace. Normally, she would reject him, but this might be the last time she would ever see him again. If she couldn't tell him how she felt, at least she could show him and hope that he felt something for her, somewhere deep inside.

As they slowly pulled away from each other, they both stared into each other's eyes. Their lips were just inches apart. It had been so long since either of them had been with anyone. Work had always kept Meryl from finding that special someone and Vash…well, he wasn't a saint. After all, he was human, but his heart was never involved with the women he did spend time with. No one had affected him the way Meryl did.

"I…I think I better leave now," Meryl said nervously. Meanwhile, her heart pounded like a jackhammer inside her chest. She knew that Vash didn't love her, and she could accept that, but she also knew that it would be the biggest mistake of her life if she didn't leave right now.

"Stay with me Meryl," he said.

"You're not thinking straight right now, Vash. You just…"

Vash bent down and kissed her, making her forget what she was going to say.

Meryl closed her eyes and leaned closer until she could feel his heart beating against her chest. It was everything she imagined it would be, and more. When they finally separated, she was breathless.

"If you want to leave, I won't stop you," he replied in a deep husky voice.

She couldn't move even if she wanted to. Her heart took over the minute he kissed her. All of her life, she had done everything by the book. But ever since Vash entered into it, nothing was ever the same again. He managed to turn her neat and orderly life upside down. For the first time in her life, she felt alive.

Meryl cradled his face with her hands as she kissed him again with every fiber of her body. To hell with the consequences. She would deal with them later. Vash's arms wound around her waist, pulling her against him as he lowered her onto the bed…

When it was over, she made a hasty retreat back to her room while Vash was sleeping soundly, and spent the next few hours crying until there were no more tears left in her. She would never forget the last thing he said, just before falling asleep…Rem.

Meryl wiped away the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She thought that time would heal the pain she had felt, but it hurt just as much as it did four years ago. Well, she wouldn't have to worry about dwelling on Vash the Stampede anymore. He made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to have anything to do with her or Ai, and maybe that was just as well. They had done fine on their own without him. One thing was certain. Despite the circumstances of her daughter's conception, Meryl had no regrets about having Ai.

She got up out of bed to start preparing breakfast for the kids, determined to put Vash out of her mind. He had probably already left last night anyway. Meryl immediately stopped in her tracks when she came into the kitchen and had to blink twice to convince herself that she was not dreaming.

The orphans were already sitting at the table eating a hearty breakfast prepared by none other than Vash! He was wearing a flowery apron and was entertaining the kids by flipping pancakes acrobatically in the air before catching them in the frying pan.

"What the hell is going on here?" Meryl demanded.

Vash turned to her and gave her a big smile, as if nothing had happened the night before.

"Breakfast," he answered automatically. "Want some?"

Meryl went over and pulled him by the ear as she dragged him into the next room for some privacy.

"Itai! Itai! That hurts!"

"I'd love to do more," she replied angrily. "What do you think you're doing? I thought you said you weren't staying."

"I changed my mind. Milly said that it was okay."

"But I didn't. Unless you had a major revelation, you said in no uncertain terms, that you were leaving."

"I guess you could say that I finally saw the light," he replied softly.

"Why is Mama so mad at Tongari-san?" Ai asked as everyone was hovering at the other side of the door eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Shhh! I can't hear what they're saying," Milly chided gently as she put her ear directly on the door.

"I would have thought you would be thrilled at the thought of me spending time with Ai."

"That's beside the point," she replied, slightly flustered.

"That's exactly the point. You're afraid aren't you?" he asked perceptively.

"I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Deny it all you want, but beneath all that hostility, you still care about me. And that scares you, doesn't it?"

"What I feel or don't feel is NONE of your business. If you want to stay, I can't do anything about it. That's up to Milly. I for one, couldn't care less," she replied walking towards the door. As she opened it, Milly tumbled forward and grinned sheepishly.

Meryl gave an exasperated sigh and headed outside to take care of the chores. She needed to clear her head.

"Vash-san? Are you all right?" Milly asked when Meryl was gone.

Vash put his hands at his waist and started laughing hysterically.

"She still wants me," he thought bemusedly to himself.

To be continued…

Written by: Babboo on 4/27/03