St. Catherine's Overture
Marianna got tired of listening to her mother's voice. Catherine had been trying to read her a story, but Marianna became fidgety and wanted to be put down.
"Okay, okay, darling," Catherine said, putting Marianna down.
Catherine smiled at her daughter's fierce independence. Marianna had just turned two years old, and the world was expanding for her. She was a very curious child, and Catherine and Warrick only had Grissom to thank for that. He showed her his bug collection and he had taken Marianna and Lindsay to the park where Marianna explored and ate a dead moth. Catherine knew that as a toddler, Marianna would be hand-to-mouth, and it scared her and Warrick to death. After a while, they stopped worrying and Marianna was fine.
Catherine followed Marianna onto the porch where Warrick was sitting, sleeping peacefully. Catherine smiled at her husband. He was exhausted from the weekend he spent with the girls while Catherine was at a conference.
"Daddy," Marianna called. "Daddy."
Warrick stirred from his sleep. "Hey sweetie."
He picked up his little girl. "How's my girl?"
Marianna grinned as she settled herself on her father's lap. She pointed out to something in the yard and attempted to carry out a conversation with him. Warrick could only make out a few things she said, so he agreed with her every word. She was getting better by the minute when she talked.
"Is that right sweetie?" Warrick asked, mocking interest.
"Yeah," she squealed.
Catherine smiled wider. Marianna was the spitting image of her father. Her fair skin had darkened to a light, soft caramel color, her wavy hair was thick and full of body and natural highlights. She had Warrick's eyes and nose, and she had Catherine's smile and temperament. The debate about Marianna's background was still going on.
Catherine felt her stomach growl, signaling for food. She went to the kitchen and sliced an apple. She watched from the kitchen window to the backyard as Lindsay rushed outside and took Marianna with her to play. Lindsay interacted with Marianna so well, that it surprised Catherine. Lindsay was nine years old now and Catherine was expecting jealousy over Marianna. Sure Lindsay had her wants sometimes, but Lindsay never once complained or expressed any ill will about Marianna. Warrick was grateful for that because Lindsay had lost her biological father, and for him to insert himself in her family, with her mother, and then have a child with her mother…he had no idea what Lindsay's reaction would be. Now that Marianna was in the family, Lindsay seemed brighter and in good spirits.
Warrick just grinned at the two girls as they played in the yard. He went inside and found Catherine eating an apple. He appreciated her more because he now realized just how hard she worked with the girls. The weekend was enjoyable, but he couldn't be nearly as laid back as he was when Catherine was home. Either he was helping Lindsay clean up a mess in the kitchen, or chasing a soaking wet, butt naked Marianna around the house to put her back in the tub. Between pudding mix, and Mr. Bubbles, he found time to catch his breath when it was nap time. He thought the weekend would be easy. He was wrong…very wrong.
"Are you eating your words?" Catherine asked as she took another bite into her apple.
"Big time," he admitted. He recalled the conversation he had with his wife about taking care of the girls over the long weekend:
"I'm not sure if I want to leave you alone with the girls," Catherine said nervously.
"C'mon Cath," Warrick said. "It's just the weekend. Besides, how hard can it be?"
He didn't catch the evil smirk Catherine had on her face.
"Okay," Catherine said. "I trust you because you're my husband, the father of our child, and because I love you."
"Thank you baby," Warrick said, hugging her.
Warrick shook his head and sighed. That was the longest weekend of his life. He never knew how picky Lindsay and Marianna could be. Catherine catered to their special requests and needs.
Catherine giggled as she saw Warrick ponder over his interesting weekend. Warrick took in her breathtaking beauty and hugged her. He moved his hands to cup her face.
"I love you," he said. "I love everything about you," he paused and looked at her lips. "Especially your lips. Your luscious lips."
He leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly.
"I love you too," she said smiling.
Catherine knew it was a mistake getting Lindsay a camera. All of a sudden, there was a quick flash of light, and Catherine and Warrick were taken by surprise. They both looked at Lindsay, who was giggling while holding Marianna's hand.
"Gotcha!" She squealed then ran out the room.
Catherine looked at her husband and smiled. "I have a feeling our moments aren't going to be private anymore," she said, giving him a once over. He was wearing a black shirt with a pair of blue jeans. She found that sexy on him. "Feel like a roll in the hay?"
Warrick chuckled at how blunt she could be at times and how impromptu she could be when it came to their being intimate. He learned to be prepared at all times.
"I don't know," Warrick said raising an eyebrow. "Will we have any privacy with a member of the paparazzi running around?"
"Lindsay knows what's going on when our bedroom door is closed," Catherine said.
With that, she took his hand and led him to their bedroom.
Catherine kept quiet as they made love. She was usually louder, but since it was in the middle of the day, and the girls were in close proximity, she didn't moan or scream. She just enjoyed being with Warrick.
Later, Warrick found Catherine in the kitchen again, making sandwiches for the girls as a little snack before dinner. She had on her silk black night gown that Warrick got her for their first Christmas together. She wore it all the time.
He walked up to her, a proud smirk on his face, and kissed her cheek.
"You are so fine, girl," he whispered in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"You're not so bad yourself," she said smiling. Yet another quick flash of light. "Lindsay!"
Catherine couldn't help but laugh.
Catherine handed the girls their sandwiches then got something of her own to eat. She had been hungry all day. She didn't know why, although, Warrick's cooking could have been a reason. He was an excellent cook, and he obliged her all the time by cooking. Lindsay and Marianna loved food and loved to eat and Warrick made meals that were kid-friendly.
Catherine was proud of her marriage thus far. They had a healthy relationship and they were involved with their children's lives. Sure, they bickered from time to time, but Marianna always brought them back together in ways that made them wonder sometimes. Marianna was so perceptive of what was going on around her that it scared Catherine and Warrick sometimes. She knew when something wasn't right, or when her mother or father didn't sound or act the same around her. That went for everybody. Marianna was a very social child, but sometimes, she would withdraw herself form people. For example, she hadn't taken to Sara lately. She was almost violent toward her. Catherine noticed that Marianna wasn't the same around her, either.
"Mmm…" Catherine commented on leftover lasagna. "This is really good, honey. You spoil me and the girls."
Warrick grinned. "I'm glad you like it."
She kissed him.
***
It was the fourth of July, and the men (Nick, Warrick, Greg, and Grissom) decided to barbecue. Sara questioned the idea.
"I don't think it's a good idea to have all this testosterone near one barbecue pit," she said giggling.
She and Nick had been married for a nearly two years themselves, and they had a one year old girl named Mayella Leigh. Ever since Mayella turned one, Sara had become more frail and tired looking. She wasn't really the same, restless Sara they knew, but no one dared ask what was going on.
Marianna instantly took to Mayella and they were friends already. Marianna didn't want to go to Sara yet again.
"Darling what is the matter?" Catherine asked when Marianna had a big fit about letting Sara hold her for a second. "You know your Aunt Sara."
Marianna just pushed away from Sara, then she struggled to get free of her mother's grip. "Daddy!"
Catherine put the little girl down and she ran over to Warrick, beckoning to be picked up. He obliged her.
Catherine looked at Sara apologetically. "I don't know what's wrong with her. She used to be comfortable around you."
A look of hurt and pain crossed Sara's features and she got up and went inside Catherine's house.
"What's the matter?" Warrick mouthed over to Catherine.
Catherine raised her arms in surrender. She followed Sara into the house. She was sitting on the couch in the living room crying.
"Sara, what's wrong?" Catherine asked sitting next to her.
Sara wiped her tears and looked at Catherine with hollow eyes and said, "I have cancer."
The word nearly knocked Catherine off the sofa.
"What?"
"I've been diagnosed with ovarian cancer," Sara explained. "The doctors said that it's pretty bad. I'll have to go through a lot of chemo and radiation therapy."
"How did it happen? Why didn't they catch it before?" Catherine asked.
"They found a cyst on my left ovary a few months before I got pregnant with Mayella," Sara explained. "The doctors said that it could be removed, so I had it removed. After I had Mayella, they found another one that grew during my pregnancy, and then another one that was malignant. Well, it spread to my uterus and my breasts. The doctors told me and Nick that my chances are good, if I get chemo quick."
"Are you?" Catherine asked.
"Yes," Sara said in her stubborn tone. "I want to watch my little girl grow up and have a life of her own. I'm not giving up on this, Cath. I can't and I won't."
Catherine couldn't stop her tears from flowing. "I'm so sorry Sara."
"You shouldn't be," Sara said putting her hand on top of Catherine's hand. "Things happen. As long as we stay strong, we'll get through this. Crying isn't going to reverse this."
"I know," Catherine said, sobbing a bit. "But Mayella…"
"Everything will be fine," Sara reassured her.
The two women hugged.
That fourth of July, a shadow was cast over their celebrations upon news of Sara's cancer. The festivities were bittersweet as they laughed and spent time as a family with each other. Everyone wished Sara and Nick the best and they would support them.
Grissom brought out the sparklers and gave them to everyone except for Mayella and Marianna.
They all took a picture together.
***
Catherine had a primal hunger that was just not like her. She went to the kitchen and took out some left over barbecue. She heated it up and ate it like there was no tomorrow. Warrick walked into the kitchen.
"Damn girl," he said. "Are you sure you don't have a tape worm or something? Every time I see you, you've got food in your mouth."
Catherine sighed. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I'm compensating. I'm worried about Sara, and Marianna is avoiding me…I'm just hungry. I actually prayed yesterday. I prayed to God that everything was going to be okay. I haven't prayed for so long. I hope God answers my prayers."
Warrick just hugged her. "Everyone is going through a rough time right now. I'm glad you did pray. Lord knows I haven't been the most faithful person in the world."
"Why, Warrick?" She asked nearly in tears. "Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Nick and Sara are wonderful people and great parents. Why take Sara away from them…Nick and Mayella? Why?"
"I don't know babe," he said, wishing that he knew the answer so that he could calm his wife. "Maybe it's her destiny."
"It's her destiny to die a slow painful death while her husband and child watch?" Catherine asked angrily.
"I didn't say she was going to die," Warrick said calmly. "I was just saying, maybe it's her destiny to go through this, you know?"
"That's what I don't understand," Catherine whined. "Why does Sara or anybody for that matter have to go through this? It's not fair, Warrick."
"I know sweetie, but you did a good thing. You prayed and you left it in God's hands," Warrick explained. "He knows what to do."
Catherine leaned into his embrace. "I love you."
"I love you too," he said, kissing her forehead.
The next morning, Catherine was there with Nick and Mayella as Sara went in for her first treatment. Catherine's heart went out to poor Mayella. She was still a baby, and had no idea what was going on.
"Bye, bye bumblebee," Sara said to her little girl as they rolled her to the treatment room. "Mommy will be back soon."
Nick leaned down and kissed her, then he placed Mayella on Sara's chest so that she could hug her. Sara kissed her daughter's forehead.
"I love you both," she said.
Nick took Mayella in his arms again, then Catherine squeezed Sara's hand and smiled.
"See you at work tonight Cath," Sara joked.
"In your dreams," Catherine retorted. "You be brave."
"I will," Sara said.
Catherine squeezed Sara's hand again then let it go as the doctors wheeled her into the treatment room.
Catherine noticed that Nick was crying. He was holding his daughter and silently crying.
This was a time to remember St. Catherine. Catherine remembered what Sara told her about St. Catherine.
"Nick, has Sara ever told you about St. Catherine?"
***
Catherine made her favorite comfort food: cinnamon buns. She found a homemade recipe and made some. She bit into the sticky sweetness and reveled in it. Only for a second did she forget about Sara and her treatments, and about Marianna's ignorance of her lately. It was just her and the memories of her child hood and food. Ranch dining was in a class of its own, and no one else's cooking, not even Warrick's, she hated to say, could measure up to the genuine ranch cooking she experienced when she spent summers at her family's Montana ranch.
Catherine longed to go up there again, but a tight budget, a husband, and two kids, left her pockets empty. She couldn't afford the expenses of a road trip nor a flight, let alone money for sight seeing and everything else that went along with traveling.
Family was something she found very important. She loved her family. She felt whole around them and she had an overwhelming sense of completion. She needed nothing else. Nothing else would satisfy her.
Catherine finished off the last of her sticky bun then washed her hands.
***
Catherine was suffering from yet another night of restless sleep. Nick told her that Sara was not taking the chemo well, and that she was almost deathly ill because of it. They were running out of options, and they were running out of time. This made Catherine burst into tears. She went to bed crying in Warrick's arms. He did his best to console her, but she kept on crying. She finally stopped crying and she just lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling, tossing and turning, hitting Warrick in the head, and popping him in his eye.
"Ouch Cathy," he said sleepily.
She didn't know what possessed her to do what she was about to do, or to even think what she was thinking, but she was doing both. She got up out of bed and began searching through drawers in their bedroom and slamming them in frustration. Warrick was wondering what she was so frantic about at three in the morning. She kept on slamming drawers and opening them, in search of the mystery object. After about ten minutes, she seemed to have found what she was looking for because the noise ceased. He didn't hear a peep out of Catherine for about seven minutes. Warrick would have seen the bright smile on her face if it wasn't so dark.
She got back into bed and woke Warrick up.
"Honey, wake up," she whispered.
Warrick stirred and turned over to look at her. His eyes were bloodshot.
"What's the matter?" He asked, a bit irritated.
Catherine sighed happily.
"I'm pregnant."
It was dark in their bedroom, so it was hard to see Warrick's face. He was silent for a second before sitting up and finding her face in the dark. He caressed her cheek and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss. When they pulled away, Catherine smiled broadly.
"This is going to be surprising to everyone," he whispered a few inches away from her lips.
"I know."
They kissed again and no other words were spoken between them for the rest of the night.
***
Catherine went over to Nick and Sara's house for a light lunch.
Nick opened the door with a look of gladness and relief. He and Sara had been going through a lot with her cancer and their emotions. Sometimes Sara would get to a point where she would just want to give up, but Nick encouraged her. She would have her good days and bad days. On good days, she would eat, play with Mayella, and even have some people over the house. On bad days, the chemo affected her physically and mentally, and she would withdraw, she wouldn't eat, and she would have feverish spells and get a little delusional from her medication. Nick was worried about her because she had only begun her treatment two weeks before. The battle they were fighting was going to be a long one, they knew, but Sara willed herself to stay strong
"Hey, Cath," he said cordially. "Sara's out on the patio. She's having a good day today, so you can stay as long as you want."
"Thanks Nicky," Catherine said smiling and hugging him. "I'm pregnant."
Nick pulled away and looked at her in shock. "Again? So soon?"
"Mmmhmm," Catherine said cheerfully while patting her flat abdomen. "Warrick is all excited now."
"That's really great Cath," Nick said. "Congratulations."
"Thanks."
Catherine brought a homemade spice cake with her to cheer Sara up even more. Sara loved spice cake for some reason that she would not divulge to Catherine.
Sara was pale, but in good spirits. She turned to see Catherine and she smiled.
"Hey Catherine," Sara said sweetly. "Make yourself comfortable."
Catherine placed the spice cake in the middle of the table.
Sara noticed Catherine's look. She looked brighter and more energized. Then again, ever since the day she married Warrick, Catherine had this air about her that could only be described as love. No, this time was different. She was sporting a wider smile, her hair showed off its natural highlights, and her cheeks were rosier.
"What's going on Cath?" Sara asked suspiciously. "You look radiant."
"I'm pregnant."
"You're pregnant? Again? Congratulations!" Sara exclaimed, taking Catherine's hand. Catherine winced at how cold and dry Sara's hand was, but she welcomed it anyway. "You and Warrick have been busy lately. Boy, what I wouldn't do to get my hands on that husband of mine right about now…"
Catherine started to laugh.
"Laugh if you will," Sara started indignantly. "But as soon as this is all over, Nick and I are starting a marathon. I swear."
Catherine giggled then opened up the box with the spice cake. She took out a slice and handed it to Sara, who took it gratefully. She bit into it, and fond memories flooded her mind. The reason why Sara loved spice cake so much was because it reminded her of her first "boyfriend". It was the summer of 1979 and Sara was only eight by then. She had a huge rare crush on an older guy named Gary Kruger. He was star quarterback at Bayoness High School in San Francisco. He gave into her girlish fantasies by dropping by her parents B&B for her mother's spice cake almost everyday. Gary was the sweetest, nicest guy she had ever known, next to Nick of course. He was loved by everyone in Tamales Bay. He knew that Sara had a crush on him, so he obliged her by giving her a first kiss. Sara would have punched any other boy that even thought about kissing her, but Gary was different. He was a blessing, a saint, in her book. He was almost like her guardian angel. He protected her from the crotchety Mr. Fred Reaps that lived up the road who was notorious for groping little girls, backed her up when she took on three older boys who terrorized her for being flat chested and having long hair, and he even convinced a teacher of hers to bump her English grade up to a seventy so that she could remain on track. In a word, Sara was head over heels for him. They shared spice cake up until the day he left for the Army. In order for Sara to remember him, she took her mother's recipe and made spice cake from time to time, showing how grateful she was for Gary. He was killed in Desert Storm in by the time she was out of high school and starting her studies in college. She missed him terribly, and up until this point in her life, she still made spice cake every now and then to remind her of Gary. St. Gary.
"Sara?" Catherine jarred her from her memories.
"Huh?" She asked.
"Are you okay?" Catherine asked.
"Yeah, just thinking," Sara said as she took a bite of the cake.
Catherine really wanted to know what kind of memories spice cake conjured up for Sara.
"Thinking about what?" Catherine asked, hoping Sara would let it slip.
"How incredibly nosy you are," Sara joked. "I know that look Catherine."
"What look? I was just asking what you were thinking about," Catherine defended helplessly.
"No, you wanted me to tell you about why I like spice cake so much," Sara accused.
"No, of course not," Catherine lied. Damn, I can't get anything past her.
"So, when did you find out you were pregnant?" Sara asked.
"Last week on Tuesday," Catherine said proudly. "I couldn't sleep, and I had a feeling that I may be pregnant again. It was three in the morning and poor Warrick was catching it. I hit him in the head and in the eye because I was tossing and turning. Then I started looking for the test in the drawers. I found the test, took it and it was positive. We're having another baby."
"That is great," Sara said. "How many do you plan on having?"
"I think this may be the last one," Catherine said. "I'm getting old."
"Oh no you're not," Sara said. "Most women don't have their first child until their early or late forties."
Catherine bit into her piece of spice cake in thought. She really hoped that she was having a boy this time. She always wanted a boy. That would be wonderful for Warrick too. He would have a boy and girl with Catherine. He acknowledged that Catherine was older than he was by two years, and that her body was changing hormonally. He didn't expect her to even have one child, really. He would have been content to marry her and be happy with her for the rest of his days. Marianna was a gift from God. They were on the verge of breaking up their relationship at one point, then God gave them Marianna.
Catherine took in Sara's very different look. Sara's hair had begun to fall out, so she wore a bandana to match her outfit for the day. Sara looked thinner and more pale. She had a blanket wrapped around her, in spite of the heat.
"I look absolutely horrid," Sara said of herself. "My hair is driving me nuts. Now I have all these different color bandanas."
"Oh," Catherine said leaning down to retrieve something from her purse. "Here, I got this for you."
Catherine handed Sara a small box. Sara smiled and opened it. What she saw inside brought tears to her eyes.
"It's beautiful," Sara cried. "St. Catherine."
Just then, they knew that everything was going to work out just fine.