AU ALERT! The timeline is a little weird. They didn't
fight Sephiroth, but they all still have their
fighting skills. And Cid still pilots the Highwind.
Don't kill me if it's a weird timeline, I was bored as
hell. And as for the pairings... Implied Cloud-Yuffie
and implied Cloud-Tifa. Although, you'll see as you
read that it means nothing.


Dining Hall Trials and Tribulations
Written by, GothicDJ Inspired by, Adriana's little
brother

I'd like to thank my beta-reader, Miss. Kalloway, for making sure this

isn't crap! Thank you! :-D


She sat uncomfortably in her seat at the table. She
hated where she sat. Every night, she would sit in the
chair closest to the door, and he would sit right
across from her, leering at her the entire meal. Ok,
so she knew he had something for her, but instead of
being creepy about it, he should just go right out and
say something. They were in college for Shinagami's
sake; he shouldn't be so childish about it. But there
she was, faced with another meal with him sitting right
across from her as usual.

"How's it going, Yuffie, having a good meal?"
He grinned, knowing he was getting on her last nerve.
Yuffie slowly curled her right hand into a fist, ready
to punch a hole through his empty skull. At least there
wouldn't be much to damage. He grinned even more and she
felt something begin to creep up her leg. Shuddering,
she glared at him, taking her plastic spork in her hand
and wielding it like a weapon. His lecherous grin grew
even more and she felt the spork break under the
pressure of her fist. Suddenly, her training shuriken
sounded like a lot more fun that that damn plastic
spork But, restraining herself, she decided not to
have an outburst during the dinner hour. And she had
finally snagged a box of Lucky Charms too.

"What are you doing?" she asked, strangely calm for the
situation. If possible, his grin would have grown
more, enough to split his face in two. She felt that
'something' move up her leg a little farther, and began
to move her other leg to smash that 'something'.

"Is that you?" She interrogated, wanting to know what
that was. It could be Nanaki, but then again, wasn't
that his tail on the other side of the room talking to
Elena. Ok, ruled that out. Maybe it was Cid's head, but
that would be dead wrong, and she would have to kill
the Highwind pilot, even if that meant that they would have to
hoof it wherever they would go, from Junon to the Gold
Saucer. But there he was, cussing loudly on the other
side of the room with his Highwind trainees.

"I can't help it, it's my third leg and it's moving
on it's own." He grinned, knowing just what kind of
response that he wanted. He wanted her to have a fit in
the dining room and storm out in a huff. A very Yuffie-like thing to do.

Maybe then he could snatch a few of
her marshmallows in her dinner cereal. The response he
got was very different.

"CLOUD STRIFE YOU SICK PERVERTED BASTARD! YOU
HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES, EVEN MORE THAN VINCENT, AND HE
BLAMES HIMSELF FOR THEWORLD!" As his name was called
out, Vincent looked up from his depressed table and
Sephiroth turned around so abruptly, his coffee spilt
all over Vincent's red leather cape (authentic).
Vincent, in turn, took his synthetic hand (gotta love
the claw) and smacked Sephiroth in the head. A chain
reaction was that Sephiroth shoved Vincent backwards in
his chair, making him crash into Yuffie's chair. That
was the straw that broke the camel's back (Sorry to
all GW Quatre fans). Yuffie took her tray, bowl of
Lucky Charms and all, and smacked Vincent, Cloud, and
Sephiroth all in the heads.

 "YOU ALL ARE IMMATURE BRATS! DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?" And
with that, Yuffie grabbed the nearest box of cereal she
could see, Sephiroth's half-eaten box of Kix, and
stormed out of the lunchroom in a flurry of
ninja armor.

Everything was silent.

Nanaki's tail swished apprehensively and Elena
swallowed the bite of her turkey sandwich she had taken
prior to the shinobi's outburst. Cloud picked a heart
shaped marshmallow out of his blond mane and popped it
in his mouth.

"It's magically delicious," he said, and that seemed
to startle everyone out of their stupor. Vincent
promptly stood up and gave everyone in the room the
finger with his golden claw, before walking out
the door the same way Yuffie had gone. Sephiroth looked
vaguely sad about the loss of his dinner, and Elena and
Nanaki resumed their conversation. The only
person un-phased by the whole situation was Cid, who
kept talking and cussing uproariously with his pilot
trainees. He did manage to fit the phrase
'she's fucking acting more like me each bloody fucking
day' into his lecture, though. Cloud was too busy
trying to pick clean marshmallows out of his hair and
off the table to eat for his dinner.

Just when all had settled back to some
strange sense of normality, Tifa stormed into
the cafeteria looking like hell itself. Several random
students suddenly decided that running as far as
humanly possibly would be a lot more fun, and a
lot safer, than sticking around. Tifa was known around
the school as the most skilled hand-to-hand combat
fighter. They were gone before she had made her
way into the middle of the cafeteria.

Calmly walking over to Cloud's seat, she
loomed over him like a dark shadow for a brief moment,
before putting on the most sugary candy-coated voice
she could muster.

"I ran into Yuffie on the way here," she said, a
small homicidal glint in her eye. It was also well
known that she and Cloud had been going out on and off
since their freshmen year there.



Cloud merely nodded and popped a rainbow marshmallow in
his mouth. He obviously did not detect the danger
that his immediate being was in. A small stress mark
crept its way up to Tifa's forehead.



"It seems you've been being an asshole," she said
once again, the homicidal tone creeping its way into
her voice. This snapped Cloud into reality and his
train of thought finally boarded into the station.

*Yuffie's anger x Tifa's anger (pain)=Major pain /
rational thinking= run


 Scrambling to get out of the chair, he was
too late and Tifa grabbed him by the scruff of his neck
and hauled him out of the cafeteria. The last
thing you could hear from him was his solemn cry of 'I
didn't mean to'. The only thing heard in the dining
hall was the occasional scraping of chairs, and Cid
speaking loudly.

"There's just some fucking ass times when I fucking
love this fucking school."



~Owari~



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Don't ask me where this came from. I was sitting at my
friend Adriana's dinner table when she goes 'there's
something going up my leg' and her little brother goes
'it's my third leg, I can't control it' and then that
proceeded to lead to some VERY interesting after dinner
dirty jokes. Tis a crazy world we're living in. Well,
I'll do anything with this fic but write a sequel. That
would just kill the whole thing if I did that. Not
meant to be anything, just a little hour fic as
the result of some boredom and chilling at my friend's
house. Major coolness.



*I started writing this in the seventh grade. It is
now the eighth grade that I'm finishing it. I started
it at my friend's house and she lost it on her computer
for a while. But now it's all done ^^ Oh, and as
for that equation thing, that's kinda what we're doing
in math, except a LOT harder since it's Algebra. Just
thought I'd practice writing out equations, no
matter how obscure.