Disclaimer: You will never hear the words "these are mine" come out of my mouth in regards to this movie – unless I truly am as crazy as my family, some friends, youth pastors, coworkers, think I am, which may be entirely possible.
Author's Note: the (* * * * *) indicates a break between the story of Winn's past, and what is happening in the present.
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The Story to Date:
"What is it that you want, Captain?" If Jack hadn't been standing so close to her, he never would have heard the query.
"Ten questions. Ten questions with honest answers from your lovely self." Confusion and relief battled for domination over Winn's face. Without her glasses, this internal fight was clearly visible to Jack. "That is, as long as you're not too scared." That solved the battle – irritation won out again.
"That is acceptable, Captain Sparrow. If I may take you to your cabin now? I'm sure that you must be ready to break your fast. If you will follow me?" Winn led a grinning Jack Sparrow above decks.
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Emerging from the hatch that led from below decks, Winn was immediately assaulted not only by the brightness of the sun, but by the joyous, screaming voices of her nieces. "Auntie Winn! We're on a boat!" Quickly scrambling on deck, her bare feet slapping the wood, Winn stood up. About to walk over to her nieces, Winn remembered her "guest." Said guest emerged in much the same way she had, his kohl-lined eyes squinting at the sun's early morning ferocity.
For some reason Winn found that amusing. "I thought that stuff was supposed to help you to not squint, Captain."
Jack glanced down at her. In his boots he was about eight inches taller than the slim woman. "There's a big difference between lamplight and sunlight, Winnie. Besides, the kohl simply adds effect to my mysterious charm."
"Oh, absolutely." Winn allowed a hint of sarcasm creep into her voice.
"Winnie? You think I'm charming?"
Taking a long look at him, head to toes, then meeting his eyes, Winn replied slowly, "I think you're too charming for the good of most women, Captain."
"So you do think I'm charming." Jack was doing that thing with his voice again, teasing her in a way that begged her to lose all semblance of composure. It was working better than it usually did, Winn noted. It must be because I'm tired.
Swallowing and turning her head, Winn answered, "I think I will strive not to be most women."
Surveying the Kingfisher's deck, Winn saw that her young relations had grown bored of waiting to get her attention. Meggie and Elsa, towing an unsteady Zoë between them, were headed their way. Luckily for them, Ry's crew was used to having small children aboard, and they had already averted many of the small disasters that had been set in motion that morning.
Winn smiled at the enthusiasm of youth. Deciding it was best to intercept the small disasters before anything else could happen, Winn politely said to Jack, "If you would wait her for just a moment," before going to meet her nieces.
Quickly reaching them, Winn scooped up Zoë who was growing tired of being pulled around. Teasing the older two, she said, "Well, what are you two up to, hmm? Causing trouble? Pushing men overboard? Raiding the foodstuffs?"
"No, Aun'win. We're hungry. We want breksfest," Elsa said in an urgent voice. "An' Momma said that we coulds find you, and you'd help us. Will you help us, Aun'win? Please?"
"Yes, of course. Tell you what, we'll even go eat in the galley." Elsa looked impressed. "Have you seen the galley yet?" Elsa shook her head.
"I have, Auntie Winn." Meggie looked smug because she could remember being on the ship last year to go visit her great-grandpapa.
"Then you, Miss Meggie, can show us were it is. But first I need to show your uncle's guest to his cabin and I need to check on Pigeon." A voice from behind Winn made her start. Blast the man, why is he always hovering?
"I believe you also promised me breakfast, Winnie. Why don't I just join you and these lovely ladies?" Jack ignored Winn's glare and examined the girls instead. His only experience with children was the need to watch his pockets against wharf-rats when ashore in places like Tortuga. He had no idea how to deal with these children. But, they were female, weren't they? Just in miniature? His strategy for dealing with women should work just as well on them.
Then again, they are related to Winnie, he thought as he found himself the target of the girls' curious gazes. Suddenly he was unsure of what to do. Meggie, being the bolder member of the trio, cocked her head to side. "Are you a pirate?" she asked in a considering voice, as if trying to decide whether or not this man was worthy of her attention.
Jack glanced at Winn, hoping that she would step in and handle this. She just raised her brows, seeming to say, "What? You can't handle answering a child's question?" Looking back at Meggie, Jack said slowly, "Yes."
"Are you a good pirate or a bad pirate?"
How am I supposed to answer that question, Jack wondered. What kind of question is that anyway? I thought all pirates were bad. Really bad eggs, and all that.
Winn, seeing Jack's consternation, took pity on the man, and asked her precocious niece, "Meggie? What have I told you about good pirates and bad pirates?" Zoë decided she was bored with the conversation, and started tugging on Winn's braid.
"Umm . . . ." Tugging on her own hair, Meggie considered this question. "You said that no one ever hears of the bad pirates, because they get killed before anyone can know them, and that good pirates are the ones that people like to read about."
"That's right."
"But Auntie Winn, I don't know who he is. So how do I know if I heard of him or not?"
Kneeling to look the youngster in the eye, Winn said, "I'm sorry. I should have introduced you, shouldn't I?" Meggie nodded. "Well, in that case, Margaret, this is Jack Sparrow, captain of the Black Pearl."
Meggie looked back up at Jack (who had been watching the whole interchange avidly) with renewed interest. "You're a good pirate?" Jack just nodded. "Great-Grandpapa is a good pirate. We're going to see him now. Why are you here?"
"Ahh . . ."
"Because your great-grandfather wants to meet Captain Sparrow. He's heard some interesting stories and wants to meet the man behind them."
Ruffling the girl's hair, Winn changed the subject. "I thought you girls wanted breakfast." Elsa and Meggie exuberantly agreed, bouncing up and down. "Then I suggest that we go get some before it's all gone. Captain Sparrow, should you wish it, you are free to join us." Please say no, please say no . . .
Jack saw the look in her eyes and deciding that he really had nothing to lose (after all Winn had already agreed to answer ten questions of his choosing), said, "I'd love to join you, Winnie. Maybe we can decide over breakfast when a good time for us to talk would be."
Bloody scoundrel. Winn nodded stiffly, either from renewed anger or nervousness, but Jack couldn't tell which. Aloud she simply said, "Of course, Captain. Meggie, if you would take Captain Sparrow in hand and then lead us to the galley . . . ." Taking the suggestion ever so well, Meggie took Jack's hand in her own childish one. She led the way back down below decks chattering and asking questions of Jack. He did his best to keep up with the sprite after shooting a look at Winn that promised later retribution.
Dusk came quickly that evening, at least in Winn's eyes. She would have been perfectly content if the sun never set again, for it would release her from the pact she had made with a man she was sure was related to the devil. What was I thinking to give him a carte blanche when it came to repayment? Repayment? Revenge is more like it, and revenge is how this whole bloody mess got started in the first place.
She was standing the in the prow of the ship, a place that calmed her, made her feel as if she was leaving all her problems and dilemmas behind her. As if she could throw her problems to the wind that washed over her. That's why she was there now – she was trying to soak some of the night's tranquility into her being. She knew that the conversation looming in her imminent future was going to be grueling, at least for her. Captain Sparrow just has to ask the questions. I'm the one who has to answer them.
As she stood watching the first stars of the evening appear in the murky light of dusk, she felt someone come up behind her. She knew who it was before she turned around, could feel the presence of the man whom she was waiting for. What if I don't want to be able to feel him near me?
Each waited for the other to make some acknowledgement or announcement, for someone to break the ice. Nervous, fed up with waiting, and just wanting to get this over with, Winn finally spoke up. "You have until the moon comes up, Sparrow. After that I'm going to bed. If you want to ask me something, I suggest you get to it." Hearing the tone of her voice, Winn winced, and thought, That was smart. Challenge the man. Why don't you just challenge him to another sword fight and get it over with.
Since Winn was not facing Jack, she missed his smirk. That's my girl. "While that sounds like a wonderful proposal, Winnie, I'm sure that we could probably use that time for more . . . interesting purposes. I don't know about you, but I generally like to talk . . . afterwards." Jack proposition was rewarded when Winn spun around, anger tightening her features.
"You like to talk, end of story." But though she had showed a promising beginning, Jack was disappointed when she managed to catch reign of her tongue.
After nearly a full minute had gone by in silence, Winn spoke in a voice that was low and tightly controlled - a sure sign that she was just barely controlling her temper. Jack had to step closer to hear her clearly. "I would appreciate it, Captain Sparrow, if you would stop trying to upset me. If you haven't noticed, I am unsettled enough as it is. If you truly wish to ask me anything tonight, I would appreciate it if you would just do it so that I can relax for the first time today."
Seeing the disquiet in Winn's eyes, Jack took pity on her, something he did rarely for anyone. "Fine lass, we'll get started. But first I just want to make sure that we both understand our agreement. I get to ask anything I want, over an unspecified amount of time, and you have to answer truthfully." Winn started to protest at the thought of this torture going on for days, or even weeks, but Jack silenced her by laying a finger over her parted lips. Her eyes went big with surprise at the contact, and something else that Jack didn't have time to decipher before she lowered her eyes. Jack continued, his eyes locked on her face in the hope she wouldn't bolt.
"I'm willing to give you one chance to refuse to answer one of your due questions, as well as any questions that I ask in the course of your explanation. Should you refuse to answer one of my settlement questions, I get to ask another one – and I will try to refrain from simply asking the same one again. Do we have an accord?"
Winn nodded, and whispered, "Yes, I agree to your terms." Her lips brushed against the finger that Jack had laid against them, stirring in him a sudden urge to kiss her.
Removing his hand and taking a deep breath, Jack said, "Well, then. I think we'd best have a seat. My first question may take you awhile to answer." He seated himself and waited for Winn to do the same. She stood looking down at him as if she were afraid he might try to eat her. "Come now, Winnie. I've already told you I'll only bite if you ask me to." The statement did nothing to ease her fears.
What if I'm uncertain whether I want to be bitten or not? Taking another deep breath, Winn sat down across from Jack. Wrapping her arms around her knees, her bare toes sticking out from underneath the hem of her full breeches, Winn asked, "So what is it you want to be knowing, Captain? The moon is on her way, and I won't hesitate to leave mid-answer." Actually I probably would – the dratted man just might hunt me down for the rest of it.
Jack looked at her as if he knew she was bluffing and he was allowing her to get away with it. "Fine, lass. Seeing as how you're eager to spill your secrets, here's my first question; just what is this past that you're so intent on keeping to yourself?"
Winn felt her stomach drop. I knew that was coming. I really did, she tried to convince herself. "You certainly don't pull your punches, do you Captain?"
"No more than you do."
Looking up at the sky, Winn hesitated before saying, "I was taught as a child that the sea has no mercy, Captain Sparrow, and for the most part, neither do those who make their life here. They can't afford to. That's the reason a man should leave his past on the shore where it belongs, because what's in a man's past can bring him to grief later on in life." She looked at the man across from her. "I'll answer this question, simply because I can imagine what else you'll dare to ask. But I ask one thing in return – that this topic is not raised between us again unless I wish it to be. Will you agree to that?"
Jack looked her in the eyes, thinking of his own past, and how he wouldn't relish someone digging in it. The past could be painful as well as golden, and for some it was more of one than of the other. "Aye, lass. I'll agree to that."
"Okay." In for a penny, in for a pound. Unconsciously assuming the posture and tone she used when telling stories to her brothers' children, Winn started, "Here follows the not-so-tragic-past of Winn Morgan . . . ."
* * * * *
To fully understand Winn Morgan, one had to go many years past her birth, to the life of her grandfather, a man who would greatly influence not only the life of his family, but also the lives of many others.
Winn's grandfather was named Henry. He and his brother were twins born to a Welsh prostitute in a small town on Cardigan Bay. Being discontent with their lot in life, the brothers had taken to the sea as young men. Finding they had a natural proclivity for the art of sailing ships and reading coordinates, both had decided to stay on the sea and never returned to make their living on land.
To avoid confusion amongst seamen, the brothers decided that the first to make captain would keep their last name, and the second would take his first as his last, so that there would not be two Captain Morgans upon the sea. As fate would have it, Henry was the first to become captain, after a hard fought duel with the captain over the command of a ship. By the age of thirty-six, the brothers were captains, and well known for piracy in English and Continental waters.
When Morgan (as he liked to be called) was in his forties, he raided a ship carrying a young woman of Italian/Grecian descent. Both fell in love almost immediately (perhaps another quirk of fate), and when Morgan discovered that she was being sent to England as part of a marriage solidifying a contract between two (very important) merchant families, he took her away.
They married and left English waters after that – they both knew it was unlikely that they would forever be able to avoid the navies of the many countries that Morgan had upset with his "unauthorized redistribution of wealth" not to mention the merchants he had upset with his wife's seizure.
Eventually the two settled down in the Caribbean. Years passed, and Morgan and his wife had twin sons. One died at a young age in a boating accident, the other became a privateer for the English. This son, being curious about England and its people, so different from those who inhabited the islands, left his parents and set sails for the Old World.
There he met and married a young woman, sweet and slight of frame. He wrote his parents, saying that he would make his life in England, for his wife was loathe to leave her homeland, and scared of the sea to boot. Within time, he had three sons with his wife. Upon her fourth pregnancy, a difficult one by all accounts, the woman gave birth to twins (for the Morgans have always had a least one twin per generation), a boy and a girl.
Unfortunately, the onset of labor came a few weeks too early. The mother, being such a slim woman, fought to give birth to her children for three days. By the time that both children had been delivered, their mother was near death from weakness and blood loss. The children as well were small and weak, and many despaired for the lives of all three. The boy died less than a fortnight after his birth, but mother and daughter lived, and the daughter was named after her father's dead brother.
* * * * *
Uncomfortable with the subjects they would soon be discussing should she continue, Winn stopped. She might have decided to take responsibility for her actions, but there was only so far one could go the day of the resolution, and she was reaching her limit. Any farther and she'd be out of her comfort zone.
Stretching, Winn said, "There you are, Captain Sparrow. Now you know my past. I was born into a pirate family, and everything since then has led me to where I am now, and trust me, if it were possible, I would be complaining to someone about this very moment. Now, if your curiosity has been whetted for tonight, I would like to retire." Winn tried to stand, but Jack grabbed hold of her arm, pulling her back down, half on the deck, half in his lap.
"Not so fast, Winnie. I seem to remember asking 'what is this past that you're so intent on keeping to yourself?' Now, I must admit that I've heard a good bit of your story, but it seems to me that you haven't really told me any of the bits that you're trying to keep to yourself. I believe that's called," he paused, trying to think of the phrase. "Ah, yes. It's called 'obeying the letter of the law, and not the spirit.' Or perhaps reneging on a commitment. If you're going to be a poor sport about this, luv," he looked at her mouth, "I might just take it into my head to demand another type of satisfaction from you."
"Have you ever heard the phrase, 'pushing your luck,' Captain?" Winn struggled from his hold, scooting across the deck so that she was a good two feet from him. Enough to allow the illusion of safety if not the actuality.
"Have you ever heard, 'take what you can, give nothing back?' Besides, those who don't take risks merely exist in this life. It's the risk takers that live it. I'm not letting you out of this, Winnie. Continue on with your story, lass. I can see the edge of the moon appearin' and you wanted to be done by the time it was fully up. I suggest you start talking faster." Winn glared at him, but she made no move to get up again.
Still glowering at the man who was backing her into a corner, and at his reminder that this was her own fault, Winn picked up her story where she had left off.
* * * * *
So, Winifred grew up happy and secure in her family. She didn't spare too much thought for the brother she had lost, other than the occasional thought that it might have been nice to have a twin. Her existing brothers treated her as a pleasant inconvenience, or perhaps as a minor annoyance, but they never mistreated her as brothers do from time to time. The neighbors said that she was a heathen and a tomboy; she simply wanted the acceptance of her brothers whom she adored.
The only dark cloud in her sky was the fact that her father was often away at sea (for he had never lost his love of it), and was rarely home. When he was home, he was a fount of information, stories, and small delights. He taught her how to sail, the basics of shooting a firearm, how to throw a knife (to her mother's horror), and the principles of swordplay, though he forbade her to do so much as pick up a sword unless he was there to supervise. He also taught more harmless things - how to tell a story properly, how to write and how to read, how to swim.
Out of all his lessons, it was swimming that she had the most trouble mastering. She could swim in calm, untroubled waters, and was a fast, strong swimmer for short distances. The trouble came when she swam in the open ocean, in deep unknown waters, or for long periods of time. In the surf or in unknown water, she grew tense, nervous, and usually ended up sinking herself. If she had to swim for long, she grew tired, and once again would sink herself. After a time, she grew to dislike swimming, but made herself practice (for short periods of time in quiet lakes) because she knew that she might someday need to know how to swim.
As she grew she watched as her brothers one by one left home to found their own lives. Without them around to encourage her wild behavior, Winn discovered that she enjoyed quieter pastimes as well as the rowdier ones that she had learned from the men of her family. She discovered that she had a talent for art - sketching, painting, and the like. She found worlds inside of books that she would lose herself in for hours at a time. She learned to cook, and while it was never a favorite thing to do, she could admit that it was calming and ultimately rewarding.
She discovered things she was bad at as well. For example, any piece of cloth that she tried to alter with needle and thread came out looking as if it had been attacked by blind pygmy archers. That was probably the failure that disappointed her the most. She loved seeing the quilts and cross-stitch pieces that women in the village made. As far as she was concerned it was art, and she wanted to be able to do it. But despite hours of practice, she could never even manage to sew a straight seem.
Giving up on behalf of her mother (who was starting to worry that Winn was going to expire of exhaustion and blood loss before she'd learn to sew straight), Winn turned to making patterns for those with the skills she so admired.
She also discovered that she didn't really have a singing voice - it was low, husky, and undeniably below pitch. Having never really heard herself sing - with brothers you belted things out, you didn't sing - Winn was a little surprised by this. To make up for her lack in this department, she laboriously taught herself to play the alto recorder, an instrument that would have been reminiscent of her voice, should she have been able to carry a tune.
Several years passed after the last of her brothers left home, and they were quiet but no less fulfilling than her earlier years had been. She spent more time with her mother and had her father all to herself whenever he was home. It was during those years that Winn's father started teaching her things about pirates. He never said why, never gave a purpose for the lessons beyond, "You never know when such knowledge may be useful." So she learned about famous pirates of the past, including the one that shared her name. She learned to read the stars incase she was ever at a loss for a map. She was taught sea-chanteys, and the all important Code of the Brethren, although that last was taught with a certain amount of private amusement on the part of her father. And so life continued in a similar vein for several years. That is until about three months after her fourteenth birthday.
It was then that her mother received a letter from a member of her father's crew. It was to inform the captain's family that the captain had fallen in a battle to seize a Spanish galleon. Had her mother been able to comfort Winn, had she been strong enough to face her husband's death, maybe things would have been all right. But Mrs. Morgan had never been a strong woman, and had never fully recovered from the birth of her youngest children. Winn slowly watched as her mother faded away before her eyes, everyday sunrise seeming to shine on a person of less and less substance. It didn't seem to be a painful way to die, but it was certainly a painful thing to watch, and having seen it, Winn started to draw into herself.
Upon her mother's death, Winn went to live with the Swanns, Mrs. Swann having been a dear friend of her mother's since the two women were children. She stayed in that household for three years, each year fading more and more into the background of Mr. Swann's growing political career. While penniless relations were to be tolerated, even indulged in some cases, penniless girls of doubtful connection and parentage were to be ignored.
During those years it was Elizabeth that kept Winn from becoming despondent. They returned to some of the more hoydenish ways of Winn's childhood - not that Elizabeth needed much encouragement - but at the end of the day, Elizabeth went to her father, and Winn went to her room to be alone.
When she was seventeen, she and the Swanns left England for the Caribbean where Mr., nay, Governor Swann was to take a post in a small port community. To pass the time on ship, Winn delved into her treasure trove of remembered pirate stories and lore to amuse her young friend, the first time she had done so in three years. But while Winn pulled out all the old stories, she was careful to keep the feelings that accompanied them locked in the mental trunk from which the stories came. It was easier to ignore all the feelings than to deal with them in front of strangers. She was on the sea now, her past behind her.
After some months, and several small adventures, they reached Port Royal. Upon arrival, Winn found a newly captained Ryan awaiting her at the docks. He had been sent to take her to Grandfather.
* * * * *
"It was aboard the Kingfisher, nearly a decade ago, that I learned of my family's heritage. Upon my arrival, and after talking with my grandparents, I was given the brand of the Morgans, and placed on a ship for some months to prove that I could indeed sail, navigate, tell coordinates by the stars, and read a compass.
"At first, Grandfather was resistant to the idea of letting a female take command of a ship, but Grandmamma convinced him that I would be able to handle the men. I learned quickly to dress in a fashion that downplayed any femininity, and that an icy manner and a no-nonsense attitude was what it took to get hardened seamen to listen to me. We even raided a few ships, although I did not captain at that time, knowing next to nothing about navel warfare.
"After four or five months at sea, we returned to Osprey Point, and I took up a quiet lifestyle there. Grandmamma taught me to garden, and Grandfather did his best to teach me the finer points of swordplay, although I never rose above fairly competent when it all boiled down. That and visiting family has been my life since I came out here. And that is the conclusion of this long and rather ordinary tale."
Closing her eyes and taking several breaths, Winn worked on putting away the memories that even such a limited retelling had aroused. She nearly ached with loneliness for the family she had lost. Staring up into the sky, she saw that the moon was seven degrees above the horizon. "It's late. I should go to bed. I haven't been sleeping well lately." She was unsure why she was telling the Captain this, but the words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them.
With a groan she stood, unimpeded this time, and started walking towards the stern where the cabins were located. Hearing the thump of boots on the deck behind her, she glanced back. Captain Sparrow appeared to be deep in thought, and that annoyed her. She didn't want to give him food for thought. She didn't want him to care if she did.
Reaching her room as quickly as she could, she opened the door and entered, needing to get away from Jack Sparrow as soon as she could. The way that she was feeling now left her with but one option should the man attempt to irritate her. She'd throw herself at him. If she could be sure that it would be out of anger, she wouldn't hesitate to enter into a verbal exchange with the man. Her nerves were raw, her body humming with nervous energy – a fight would be just the thing to drain some of it off.
However, she was feeling a second emotion that, while it fed off the anger, it really had nothing to do with the anger. The feeling scared her, and almost overwhelmed her intention to start allowing herself to feel things instead of stuffing them down inside herself. It was a dark, restless, reckless feeling, and Winn was scared of what it might lead her to do. And with whom it might lead her to do those things.