Disclaimer: Just curious? Would you actually believe me if I DID say I owned them? Because if you do, then I am also glad to inform you that this little fanfic just won a Pulitzer.
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The way that she was feeling now left her with but one option should the man attempt to irritate her. She'd throw herself at him. If she could be sure that it would be out of anger, she wouldn't hesitate to enter into a verbal exchange with the man. Her nerves were raw, her body humming with nervous energy – a fight would be just the thing to drain some of it off.
However, she was feeling a second emotion that, while it fed off the anger, it really had nothing to do with the anger. The feeling scared her, and almost overwhelmed her intention to start allowing herself to feel things instead of stuffing them down inside herself. It was a dark, restless, reckless feeling, and Winn was scared of what it might lead her to do. And with whom it might lead her to do those things.
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Jack sat in his cabin, listening to the noises coming from next door. His was a tiny cabin, barely large enough to hold the bunk on which he sat and the tabled bench that was built into the opposite wall. But it was better than being interred in the brig, unable to get lose, unable to roam freely. If he felt somewhat claustrophobic, then that was balanced by the ability to come and go as he pleased.
Jack heard several muffled bangs in a row. Who's next door? He wondered. From seeing the width of the ship, Jack guessed that the cabin next door was roughly the same size as his. This meant that it was Winnie who was bumping and banging around with nary a thought for her neighbor. There should be a bulkhead between that cabin and the Captain's cabin. Then next door to that would be the one that those urchins and their mother are sharing.
Jack moved to lay down on his bunk, the assorted accouterments stung and woven in his hair clicking and jingling and rattling with the movement. Crossing his arms behind his head and toeing off his boots, Jack stared into the unremitting darkness of the room. Well, that wasn't quite accurate; there was a patch of dark grey that was the diffused light of the night's half moon indicating where the porthole was.
The thumping continued next door, every once in awhile it was accompanied by a small yip. Winn's vexed murmurs reached his ears, the tone distinct but not the words. Jack smirked. Methinks the lady is somewhat peeved. Sounds as if I have accomplished all I needed to today.
In truth, there had been times today that Winn had managed to throw him completely and totally off balance. When she had come down to the brig that morning, he had expected to hear that her grandfather and had demanded that his head should be delivered to her on a silver platter. He had barely recognized the manifestation of Winn that had offered him an apology. Where had his little fury been? Maybe that will be my next question. He enjoyed their little verbal interchanges, and while he had to admit that he occasionally stepped over the line in provoking her, didn't it all equal out when she overreacted in her response?
The real question, I suppose, he thought, listening to more ominous noises from across the wall, is why does that woman fascinate me so? She's hardly a woman who it's easy to tumble in and out of bed. She doesn't make it a point to seek me out or engage me in conversation. She's not especially pretty, although now that she seems to have eschewed those glasses . . .
A thump, considerably louder than the rest, sounded against the wall near his head. He started, caught unaware. "This is ridiculous," he muttered. "She's gonna bring the entire ship down on our heads." Raising his voice, Jack told the woman across the wall, "Winnie, if you don't settle down and stop makin' so much noise, I'm going to come over there and quiet you myself, and I highly doubt that you will appreciate the methods I use to do so."
Winn was startled by Jack's voice. She hadn't realized that the wall between the two cabins was so thin. Winn blushed, regretting her time spent throwing a rag-ball against it to relive some of her energy. "There's no need for that, Captain Sparrow. I'm sorry if I disturbed you." Well, not really. You've been disturbing me all day. You're still disturbing me. I take it back. I didn't mean it. You deserve to be disturbed.
Jack smiled at Winn's words. While they were apologetic in wording, they were delivered in a militant tone that reminded Jack of when he had first met Winnie on the Kestrel. Remembering the events of the week he'd had her aboard his ship, he thought, Maybe that's it - she's one of the only people I've ever met who so openly ignores me.
Winn had begun to relax when her apology was met with silence. Hoping that was the last of her interaction with the man for the day, she closed her eyes. When her peace was again disrupted by the impertinent pirate, she was half asleep, Jack's voice seemingly coming to her from across some distance. In that state, Winn was less hostile and less guarded.
"Do you realize that we're sleeping next to each other, Winnie? Practically in the same bed, we are."
Winn roused enough to reply, "That's fascinating, Captain. Too bad that's as close as you'll ever come to sharing a bed with me."
Jack laughed. It was a low, rough laugh, one that had sent ripples of emotion through more than one woman. What has gotten into Winnie? he wondered. One moment she's apologetic, the next she's confident, the next defiant, the next flirtatious. Having an idea, Jack asked, "Winnie, luv, are you even awake?"
"I'm not sure. Do I sound annoyed at you? Because this seems like something that would annoy me if I were awake."
"You don't sound too annoyed at the moment."
"Then I must be dreaming."
"You talk in your sleep?"
"I used to as a child. I don't know if I still do. If I do, then I'm asleep when I do it and therefore don't hear myself. I suppose you could tell me whether I do or not."
Jack swallowed. Whatever state Winnie was in, he was enjoying it immensely - even more than he enjoyed an irritated Winn, which was a great deal. Think of the possibilities . . . . "Was that an invitation, lass?"
"No, I was simply saying . . ." Winn yawned, "that if you heard me mumbling in my sleep you could inform me of it in the morning." She was barely aware of what she was saying - the last few days of little sleep and much activity were starting to tell on her mental state.
"Oh . . . I'm supremely disappointed, luv. Here I was thinking that I had finally won you over. . . ."
"Keep working on it, Captain. You might actually live to see your goal realized. However, you might also live to see pigs fly, so I wouldn't exactly . . . hold your breath hoping for such a thing."
Jack smiled at the point she had scored. "Winnie, why don't you call me Jack?" Jack wondered how much of this conversation Winn was actually going to remember in the morning.
"You've never asked me to, that's why, Captain Sparrow."
"Would you if I asked you to?"
"Probab-" Winn yawned again. She was quickly losing her grip on any conscious thought. "Probably not."
"Why?"
"Because it's not outside the realm of possibility that I may, at some point in time, find you attractive, and . . . and should that become the case, I need to have some kind of barrier between us to remind me why that's a bad idea."
Jack was stunned by what Winn was voluntarily telling him. I definitely need to talk to Winn when she's like this more often. "Why would your being attracted to me be a bad idea, Winnie?"
"Because not only do you already have . . . an inflated opinion of yourself, but I swore I'd never fall in love with a seaman. My mother did and it killed her." Winn's train of thought was slowly and surely deteriorating.
"Now Grandfather on the other hand is going to love you. Sparrow. You're going to fit right in. He may try to keep you in . . . his aviary. Or make you one of the family." Suddenly realizing that it was her own voice that was keeping her awake, Winn looked indignantly at the wall. "Captain Sparrow, if you don't stop asking me questions, I'm never going to fall asleep and I'm . . . tired."
Amused at the bewildered outrage in her voice, Jack grinned, and said, "Just two more questions, luv. Then I'll leave you to your rather unneeded beauty sleep."
"Mmm . . . ."
"Firstly, what did you do with your glasses, Winnie? Why aren't you wearing them?"
"Ohh . . . they glare terribly in the sun. And . . ." Winn paused for so long that Jack wondered if he would have to prod her for an answer. ". . . and I decided that it was time to stop hiding behind them. I did, you know. Hide. It's easier to hide sometimes than it is to live. I decided to stop. Cat and Grace thought it was a good idea. Do you think it's a good idea?"
"Yes, luv."
"Good. I'm glad. That means you won't give me trouble about it . . . right?"
"If that's what you want, Winnie."
"Oh good . . . ." Winn trailed off. When Jack heard no other sounds coming from across the wall, he decided that she had fallen asleep mid-reply. Completely content at the moment, even though he had no real reason to be, Jack set his hat over his eyes, and followed her example.
Both had dreams of the other that night. With the coming of the sun, the dreams buried themselves in the consciousness of their hosts, but they by no means lay dormant, each working within the mind of its host - preparation for things to come.
It was nice to be held so tenderly. Winn relaxed against the chest of the person standing behind her, their arms coming forward to encircle her waist. They held her tightly, yet gently, as if afraid to hold on too tight. Winn smiled – she wasn't about to go anywhere. She liked it here, felt safe, secure, cherished. She wanted to tell the person holding her that – wanted to find out who it was. Whoever it was, she was content to stay here forever, even if it was . . . .
Winn awoke the next morning to find someone in her bed. As her consciousness rose up from the tranquil depths slumber, the sensation of another warm body pressed against hers became more and more apparent. Wha- she wondered groggily. Opening her eyes, Winn found she was facing the wall, unable to see who was behind her. The steady inhalations, exhalations of her bed partner continued in an unbroken tattoo against her spine.
Winn sent up a brief prayer, hoping that she had not done something foolish last night. Carefully levering herself up, not wanting to wake her slumbering guest, Winn rolled over. There was Meggie in nightgown and slippers, a raggedy blanket clutched underneath her chin, just managing to stay on the narrow bunk with her aunt.
Winn smiled, unwarranted relief filling her. She should have known. This was not the first time she had awoken to find an unannounced guest sharing her bed. Her brothers' children seemed to make a game of how many of them could slip into bed with her without her knowing. And then there were midnight migrations caused by other factors; nightmares, their parent's door being locked, older children telling ghost stories, fights with cousins, thunderstorms, etc. For that reason, Winn had learned to be a still sleeper, rarely changing positions in the night – oftimes that could result in crushing a niece or nephew . . . or a puppy.
Refusing to question why she thought it could have been someone else in bed with her (a rather larger and more dangerous someone else), Winn climbed over her niece. Pige scampered around her ankles, pent up energy making her more enthusiastic than ever. Resolving to find time to locate a good length of leather with which to make a collar and leash for her dog, Winn started getting ready for the day.
As she stood in the middle of her cramped cabin, she briefly remembered the conversation of the previous night. She tried to recall what had been said by both parties, but most of it was hazy, as vivid as a half-remembered dream. Dismissing it as figment of an overset mind, Winn focused on deciding what to wear for the day.
She was dressed and in the midst of brushing her hair when a knock sounded quietly on her door. Opening it, she found Grace outside. "Good morning Winn. Are Meg and Elsa here?"
Allowing the woman to enter, Winn stepped back and said, "Meggie is, but I haven't seen Elsa yet this morning. I suppose she might be asleep in the chest, but I doubt it."
Grace sighed. "I was hoping you weren't going to say that." She moved over to the bunk to pick up the still-sleeping Meg. "I hope that little urchin didn't go and manage to fall overboard."
"I doubt that the night crew would allow something like that to happen. Ry keeps them sharp." Winn assured her sister-in-law. "Besides, Elsa may be small, but she'd make a loud enough splash, not to mention the squalling that would commence when she woke up to find herself in water. I'm sure she's around here somewhere."
Grace smiled. "You're probably right." Looking at her oldest child, she continued, "I'll go ahead and take this one off your hands before I go to track down Elsa."
Watching the delicate maneuvers required to pick up a sleeping child without waking them, Winn offered, "You go ahead and stay in your cabin with Meggie and Zoë. I'll find Elsa and bring her to you. That way we won't risk the other two wandering off." Grace accepted this offer with thanks. Then muttering something about children who wandered about in the middle of the night without informing their parents, she left.
Leaving her hair lose, Winn left her cabin. Standing outside the door, she surveyed the deck, thinking, If I were a three-year-old girl, where would I be at this time in the morning if I weren't with me? She shot a glance at the door to her right. I suppose it's possible she overshot her intended destination. But could she do such a thing without waking the Captain? There's only one way to find out. . . .
Knocking on the door to the Captain's quarters, Winn entered in search of her truant niece.
Jack Sparrow awoke sometime after dawn to the sensation of someone's head lying on his chest. Smirking, his hat still covering his eyes, Jack thought, Looks like Winnie changed her views on the likelihood of us sharing a bed.
Raising his hat with one hand, Jack discovered what many other people have about he word "assume." What the– What is going on?
There, lying comfortably, innocently, totally, peacefully and completely asleep was Elsa. She had wandered in sometime around two, and believing that she was in her aunt's room, Elsa had climbed right up and gone right back to sleep.
As he was staring down at the child in consternation, he heard a knock on the door. Before he could give permission for the person to enter, the door opened to reveal Winn. The faint look of apprehension on her countenance disappeared when she saw the picture that pirate and child made.
Jack watched as her eyes softened, and her mouth curved into the smile that all women portray when they see a sleeping child. Her hair hung loose and was shining richly in the morning light, falling in a sleek waterfall to hang around her waist. Strange that such a tiny woman would have so much hair.
Gathering his composure (both from the shock of finding a child asleep in his bed and from the feeling Winn caused that he refused to identify) Jack said quietly, "I must admit that this wasn't what I had in mind when I decided I wanted a Morgan in my bed. I don't suppose you've come to switch spots with the lass?"
"No, I haven't. I have come to take Elsa off your hands though." Winn's voice held more peace and serenity than Jack had yet heard from her. "She must have mistaken your cabin for mine, although with Meggie already in there we would have had a hard time fitting her in." Winn came into the room and scooped Elsa up into her arms.
"I'm sorry if she surprised you, Captain. I doubt that this will happen again."
"I don't mind, although I will admit that it was rather unexpected to find the lass here. As surprises go, however, this one was relatively harmless." Elsa shifted in Winn's arms, a sleeping protest to being moved from a spot she apparently had found comfortable. Winn stroked the back of the girl's head, soothing her. She looked up to find Jack's eyes fixed on her with an expression she couldn't quite decipher.
Becoming somewhat unnerved from his gaze, Winn blushed slightly. Shuffling her feet she said, "I should go and return this one to her mother."
Backing towards the door, Winn stopped and bit her lip. She wanted to ask if they had indeed conversed through the thinness of the wall the night before, but doing so would mean she would have to face up to what she had said. From what she remembered, it would be best for both parties to ignore what had happened. Still, it would be nice . . . .
She opened her mouth to ask, but decided against it at the last moment. No, it's better to just leave. Shutting her mouth without saying a word, Winn left Jack lying on his bed, hands behind his head, grin firmly in place.
Winn managed to avoid Jack for the rest of the day. She did it for a number of reasons – fear of exactly what had been said the night before, concern over what he was going to ask her next, dislike of the entire situation. But though she managed to avoid talking to the man, she could not avoid his gaze, and many times during the course of the day she would look up to find him staring at her in the same fashion that a man stares at a problem than has him confounded.
That in itself confounded Jack. It didn't seem to matter what she was doing – talking to her sisters, telling stories to her nieces, making a collar for her pet, staring off into space – she drew his gaze as naturally as north draws a compass needle to itself. (Unless the compass was for finding cursed islands that no one can find . . . but that's another story entirely.)
Winn was greatly relieved when supper time came around. It had irritated her to no end the way that Jack had watched her all day long. It was like going through one's day with someone's hand on the back of one's neck the entire time – Jack's gaze was that focused. Though she had made a concentrated effort to avoid being in his line of sight, the blasted man had made it a point to find her. Not to talk to her or to tease her or to make a general nuisance of himself – he only did it so he could continue to stare at her.
She decided to skip the meal all together. If she had to endure a meal that was sure to include Jack staring at her more, she'd go barmy and end up doing something she would possibly regret later, but with the state she was in she highly doubted she'd regret anything. I can eat later, but this may be the only time I get to be alone today. If the game of sneak-into-bed-with-auntie was starting already, then it was unlikely that she'd be alone that night.
She grabbed her sketch pad and a piece of charcoal. Sticking both into the oversized pockets of her breeches, she made way for the prow. Reaching it, she started to climb out onto the figurehead itself, making sure to settle herself securely between the carved figure's wings. It was a spot that few people would think to check for inhabitants, so she would be able to remain here for some time.
Taking her book out and opening to the first clean page, Winn caught sight of the picture that Jack had added to her collection. Momentarily torn between ripping it out to give it a burial at sea and the desire to keep it, Winn didn't notice the man who had come up along the railing to watch her.
A burial at sea is too decent, she thought, avoiding the real reason she was so hesitant to rid herself of the portrait. I'll wait until we reach Grandfather's. I can give it to one of the children to use for spitballs or something.
That decided, Winn got down to drawing. She had wanted to do this all day, but Jack's eyes on her had made her hesitate. She had drawn him once, she didn't want him to know that she was about to do it again, but the scene from that morning was too adorable to ignore. The big bad pirate staring down in dismay at the child who was snuggled up to him. I'm only doing this because it's such a sweet depiction of Elsa.
The work was finished quickly; Winn had a good memory for shapes and colors, one that rarely failed her. With nothing left to do, Winn stared out at the setting sun, listening to the conversation and quips traded among the men on duty. Lowing her eyes to half mast, she let her thoughts drift.
Seeing that Winn was going nowhere anytime soon, Jack decided that this was a good time to ask his next question. He dropped down beside her on the figurehead, silently and gracefully.
Unfortunately it wasn't quite quietly enough. Winn heard him land and quickly stood and assumed a defensive posture. Enough is enough. With her arms folded across her chest, she said, "Why Captain! Fancy running into you here. One might think that we had gone all day without seeing each other, which would be ridiculous since you've done nothing but stare at me all day."
"Luv, you wound me–"
"Trust me, if I had wounded you, you'd be in considerably more pain, Captain."
"What! After last night you still can't find it in yourself to call me Jack? You did once, on the Black Pearl. And you managed it quite well too."
Winn had stopped listening at "after last night. . . ." Jack had just accidentally confirmed her fears about what had happened last night after she had gone into her cabin. Her words from last night came back to her in a rush.
"Because it's not outside the realm of possibility that I may, at some point in time, find you attractive . . . but I swore I'd never fall in love with a seaman . . . It's easier to hide sometimes than it is to live. I decided to stop. Cat and Grace thought it was a good idea. Do you think it's a good idea?"
Interrupting Jack, who had not yet noticed her sudden bout of immobility and speechlessness, Winn asked in a quiet voice, "I don't suppose you're willing to say that you used up the rest of your ten questions last night, are you Sparrow?" As she was talking, the first mate ordered that the sea anchor be dropped for the night. This order and the consequent splash the obedience to it made could have very well drowned out the warning in Winn's voice. It was possible, but not probable.
Now, Jack had seen the warning in Winn's eyes even if he hadn't heard it in her voice. He knew that she was upset over the knowledge that she had spoken to him without being totally and completely in control of herself. Her temper had been fraying slowly but surely all day long, and here he was trying to snap it. Briefly he wondered if he was indeed insane before he delivered the winning point.
"No lass. You answered all those of your own free will. Had you asked whether I wanted to used my questions though, the answer would have most likely been 'yes' – your tongue was quite loose last night even if the rest of you wasn't." He knew that she was most likely going to slap him for his impertinent and insolent answer, and he was prepared for it.
Sure enough, Winn's right hand came flying up to plant him one across the face. He grabbed her hand before it could make contact. What he wasn't prepared for was the foot that swept his out from under him and the other hand that gave him a helpful shove over the rim of the figurehead. Winn jerked herself out of his hold at the last moment, and finding herself hanging over the edge of one carved wing, she watched as Jack landed in the water some feet below her.
"Man overboard!" Apparently their little scuffle had attracted an audience. Winn looked up to see several deckhands and the second mate gathered around. One of them looked down at her and commented, "You got him right proper, miss, right proper."
Winn sighed as Jack's head popped above water. When am I going to learn to ignore that man and his incendiary comments?
She climbed back on deck, her bare feet finding holds in the hull as she climbed. Several hands reached out to help her. Accepting their help and thanking the givers, Winn walked to the main stairwell that would lead her down to ship's stores.
On her way down, she met Ry and the rest of her family coming up. "Off to get yourself some food? You missed dinner entirely." Ry looked at his sister with concern – she was getting too thin to satisfy him. If she wasn't careful she was going to make herself sick.
"No, I'm going down to stores to fetch some dry clothes."
"But you're not wet."
"You're right. I'm not." Without offering further explanation, Winn started back down the stairs. Shaking his head at the mood his sister was in, Ry continued climbing with his family.
When they reached the deck, he saw why further explanations had not been offered. A dripping wet Captain Sparrow was being pulled over the railing back onto the deck. From his appearance, Ry would have to guess that he had taken a brief swim, and he didn't have to ask who had "encouraged" him to do so.
A sodden Jack Sparrow stood in the middle of his cabin and wondered what he was going to do now. He was fully clothed, soaking wet, and had no spare clothing to change into. He supposed he could borrow some clothing from young Captain Morgan, but was leery of doing such a thing. It was a bad idea to collect debts on the sea; they were always called in sooner or later, and Jack was entangled enough in this family as it was. So he stood there, dripping on the wooden planking beneath his feet, wondering what he was going to do next.
The first thing to do is get undressed, he decided. A plan of action made, Jack removed his boots, then his vest. Before he had the chance to remove anything else, a knock came at the door. Opening it, he found Winn on the other side, a bundle of clothes under one arm. "I brought you something to wear until your own clothes get dried."
Jack made a sweeping gesture with his arms. "Then by all means, luv, come in." Winn eyed him suspiciously, but came in anyway. He shut the door behind her and leaned against it, effectively blocking her way out. If Winn thought he was going to let her off easy after what she had just done, then she had another thing coming.
Turning to face him, Winn noticed that Jack was wearing less clothing than she accustomed to seeing him in. He was barefoot for one thing, and without his boots he was only about six inches taller than she was. Should she ever want to, she would fit snugly underneath his chin. The thought was more tempting than it had any right to be.
That wasn't the only thing she noticed. His shirt looked much more threadbare when wet, and she could see the outline of several tattoos though it. There was one on each of his arms, near the shoulder, and one on his chest near where his heart would be. Tattoos fascinated Winn. Briefly forgetting who she was dealing with, she stepped forward trying to see them more clearly.
"Like anything you see, Winnie?" Recalling who she was dealing with, Winn halted.
"No, I was just trying to decide if you had tattoos or merely concentrated areas of dirt. Knowing you, it's probably dirt."
"If you've come to offer another apology, Winnie, I must say that you're not off to a very good start. I think things would go ever so much better if you offered to compensate me again. Maybe a kiss for each hurt I sustained at your hands?" Jack waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
Winn raised her chin in a haughty manner. "It's you who are off to a bad start if you think I'm here to apologize. You knew exactly what you were doing when you made that smart comment. Therefore you deserve exactly what you got. I doubt that anything worse than a through dousing was afflicted upon your person, Sparrow." Winn held out the clothes that she was holding, temper making her words short.
"If you would be so kind as to take these and then let me exit? I'll wait for you to give me your wet things. I'll take them down to the galley to be dried. Personally, I think that's more 'compensation' than you deserve, but then we can't have you falling sick while you're here. It would be a horrible representation of Grandfather's hospitality."
Jack decided that it wouldn't be too good an idea to press his luck right now. He took the offered clothes and moved. Before Winn could leave however, he said, "I'm sorry if I've upset you Winnie."
She spun and looked at him, anger and disbelief writ large upon her face. "Sorry? You're sorry?! You've done nothing but test my patience since you brought me aboard the Pearl, Sparrow, and you've delighted in doing so. If there's been anything you've actually regretted it was most likely underestimating me enough for me to allow a hit."
"That's not true, Winnie."
"It's not, Captain? Forgive me if I don't quite believe you." She turned her back to him, once more preparing to leave.
Jack said quickly, "I may not regret what I did last night, but I do regret what I said in Port Royal."
He surely knew where to aim to get her attention. Winn leaned her head against the closed door. "Why do you think that I found anything you said in Port Royal of enough importance to actually remember?" Her voice was a whisper, albeit fierce enough to conceal the agony that caused it.
Jack whispered back, "'Looks as if you were correct, luv. Had you been truly attractive, I doubt these two fine gentlemen could have diverted my focus from your petite self.' You know that's not true, Winnie."
"How would I know such a thing?" Winn didn't know why she was still here, in this room with this man that could unsettle her more than any other. Her common sense was screaming at her to leave, yet something was holding her in her place. That same something also rushed over her anger in a wave, leaving only confusion and a desire to stay in its wake.
"Haven't you seen me watching you, Winnie? I know you have. You fascinate me, and I'm not sure why. Not sure why I can't get you out of my mind."
This was a dangerous topic for conversation. Self-preservation rising up, Winn swallowed hard and replied, "A lack of occupation. You have nothing to do. Maybe, if we asked Ry, he could–"
"You know that's not the reason, luv." Winn turned to face Jack, uncertainty and bewilderment in her eyes. It was a mistake, for the darkness of Jack's eyes caught her own and held them. "The reason I haunt your steps is the same reason you're still here instead of being elsewhere. We both want something. I know what I want, or am at least reasonably sure."
Winn continued leaning against the door. She watched as Jack came over to her, moving slowly as if he was afraid to startle her. Stopping a mere arms length from her, he asked in a voice that she almost felt, "What is it ye'd be wantin', Winnie?"
Instead of replying, Winn reached out to touch him. She only hesitated once before she rested one hand on Jack's shoulder. The other hand, her right hand, she brought up to skim across the bruise it had caused. "I'm sorry," she breathed.
Jack rested his own hands on her considerably more delicate shoulders. He could feel how tense she was. Like a worm in a room full of sparrows. Slowly he moved one hand to slide around the back of her neck, the thumb grazing the skin of her jaw.
Winn's insides were in a knot of indecision. She wanted this, whatever it turned out to be, but she was terrified of that same need. If felt like her anger, in a way; uncontrollable, overwhelming, demanding, unable to be soothed. If she gave in to it, where would it lead? She wasn't ready to find out.
Jack had leaned in to kiss her as he had wanted to for some time now, but Winn turned her head. His kiss landed on her cheek. "I can't."
"Why not?" Jack knew the answer but he wanted to hear her say it aloud.
"I'm scared." Winn felt horrible, as if she had just destroyed whatever was left of his opinion of her. Shrugging out of his light grasp, she whispered, "I should go."
Jack let her, well, almost let her go. Before she could open the door, he pulled her into him, kissing her harshly, then gently. Raising his head, he asked, "What is it that you want, Winnie?" Opening the door for her, he watched her leave. So that's what it takes to make Winnie retreat. Too softly for her to hear, he asked, "Who are you, Winnie?"
Winn paused, just over the threshold, as if trying to decide whether or not she'd heard the query. Then, without turning, she closed the door after her.
Jack just stared at the door for a moment, hands at his sides. On the other side of the door, Winn bent her head and whispered, "I wish I could tell you," before going to her own cabin.