Fraudulences Of Words
An Executive Committee Fanfiction By enervate

A/N : Chapter re-edited on 4th of October, 2003, on grammar and organization of paragraphs.

Part 7a : Firefly

Perspiration glistened upon his neck as he sped up, catching up with Matsubara's pace. His face was flushed scarlet due to the long stretch of land covered in the morning jog, as the three of them met for a exercise session that day. It was atypical for Ainoura to be out of his bed as early as 7am, but forgive discrepancies as today he was intrigued by Matsubara's words. He was bewildered when the news came to him through his cellular phone. His compact communication device beeped shrilly as it flashed silver lights over his darkened room yesterday night. He remembered muttering a jumbled string of curses underneath his tired breath as he unlocked his mobile phone and checked for the message. It was not more than a short message altogether. "Meet me at park, 7am. Important update. Kubota and Tokitoh broke up." Below the message, the name "Matsubara" was clearly visible. Ainoura's worn and droopy eyes flew open wide immediately, gaping at the screen. He remembered replying the message to confirm that he'll be coming before dropping back to bed in exhaustion and dreamless slumber.

But that was yesterday night, when he was much occupied with fatigue and would rather dedicate his time to sleeping than nosing about the latest news on the EC's dynamic duo. But when he woke up forcibly this morning at 6.30am, his mind was burning with curiosity. Even as he approached Matsubara at the park, the latter refused to speak of any further before they complete their jogging session. Murota was present, too, and also bore the same confused look like Ainoura had. Shrugging, the threesome jogged about a mile around the scenic park, underneath the cherry blossom trees that were abundantly decked with the first kisses of winter's snow.

Despite the chilling breeze that cooled down the atmosphere, sending the temperature plunging drastically, somehow he managed to sweat. And boy, he was truly exhausted. Physical exercises were never his thing. His soul felt more at home when his fingers drummed against the keyboard, when his thumb and index finger locked into the contours of a mouse, when his face began to feel warm from the light radiation of the monitor that generated a gentle amount of heat. That was what he described as familiar and typical of Seiichi Ainoura.

"Can,... we,... rest,... now,... ?" Ainoura wheezed, panting while bending down. He rubbed his legs where the muscles sore. Matsubara halted in his pace, and jogged back to where Ainoura was. "Are you okay?" Matsubara queried in concern. Ainoura grinned sideways. "My legs still hurt after helping Katsuragi-san with those tedious chores yesterday. You people should have seen the new EC room! It must have been the best thing that ever happened to us! It has this big television, a DVD player, real cool chairs and tables and..." Ainoura's face contorted into a frown. "Speaking of 'the best thing that ever happened to us', can you tell me about the whole Kubota and Tokitoh ordeal? You dragged both Murota and I for a jog on a beautiful winter's morning without telling the reason why. C'mon, I'm dying of curiosity." Murota nodded in agreement while saying none. He was doing push-ups on the par course, far too occupied in his exercise to entertain them with conversation, but nonetheless he was on all ears for this matter. He, too, received a last-minute SMS from Matsubara, and although he didn't mind the jogging part, admittedly he, too, was curious about Matsubara's statement. "Broke up? What do you mean? They aren't lovers or whatever,... how is such thing possible?" Ainoura asked again before Matsubara managed an answer. That question got the brown-haired guy coughing as though as if he was choking on something. Ainoura was puzzled, but slowly he comprehended. "Oh man,... I never knew those two are for real!" His face broke into a grin. "But why break up? And when were they officially together?"

"Don't ask me. All I know was that Kubota screwed up prime-time, and set Tokitoh running away. Wherever Tokitoh is now, we do not know." Matsubara explained. "Well, according to outside information gained from the Fukukaichou, both Tokitoh and Kubota quarreled over some measly thing. Apparently it was about how Kubota treated him and stuff. Well, Tachibana also mentioned about some challenge that Kubota brought up during their fight about Tokitoh being dependent on him, and this statement really upset Tokitoh. So, he ran."

"Poor Tokitoh!" Ainoura exclaimed, his face frowned in empathy. He withdrew a tumbler from his backpack and took several refreshing intakes of water to replenish the loss of fluid in his body. He felt better immediately. The three of them walked to a cafe situated within the park for breakfast. After placing their orders, they resumed talking.

"So, what does the Kaichou has to say about this? I heard that both Matsumoto and Tachibana are sinking their claws into this case." Murota commented as he adjusted a pastel yellow towel around his sweat-drenched neck. Matsubara nodded in agreement. "Yes, they are determined to help. Of course, it was all because of their own importance, to begin with." That ironic remark earned a catty grin from Ainoura. "Because they knew that the EC's efficiency in solving discipline cases relies on Kubota and Tokitoh, right?"

"Exactly. The EC is defunct without them. That is why Matsumoto helped, I bet. All because his seat as the Kaichou was secured by how he ran the Student Council, and that includes us. If the EC cripples, he'll be suffering from competitors for his post. And like what we all know,..." Matsubara let his sentence trail, grinning as he drawled the words a little. Ainoura picked it up, and continued. "... and like what we all know, Matsumoto hates losing out." The three of them laughed.

"So, the point is, Matsumoto and Tachibana themselves are trying to help Kubota to get Tokitoh to return to him." Matsubara said. Murota's brows were knitted in a frown. "Why can't Kubota find Tokitoh and persuade him to return? Why must everyone take the long way out? Can't this be solved in a much faster and direct way?"

"Well, Kubota does not want to admit his own mistake in the quarrel..." Matsubara smiled. "That is why he tries the other way out, that is, to make Tokitoh return to him without directly telling him to do so. Seriously, I think it is a little cruel to play Tokitoh up, making him all confused in order to make him return. But Kubota would rather take that option."

Ainoura sighed. "Must he do such a thing? I sympathize Tokitoh."

Matsubara shrugged. "What can we do? The ego has landed."

"Kubota must have been persistent to do such a thing to Tokitoh. Although I don't get why must he do so, but we must get the both of them back together." Murota remarked as he took of his shades and gave them a little polish with the edges of his towel. "We're facing another tough schooling year ahead of us, and I hate to think of a shattered EC facing more and more unwanted discipline cases. Without the complete team of EC, we're handicapped."

"Exactly. But we don't even know where is Tokitoh now. How can we get him back to Kubota?" Matsubara questioned. The waitress that took their order came back now. She set down a cappuccino in front of Ainoura, cafe latte for Matsubara and espresso for Murota, along with a platter of chicken sandwiches. Ainoura took one of the sandwiches, and gave it a bite.

"We might not get to help Tokitoh, but we have the other side remaining. We can help Kubota to get Tokitoh back, right?" Ainoura pointed out as he munched his sandwich thoughtfully. The rest nodded slowly. "I can see that you're right. We've got to do something about this. This is a mission for the EC." Matsubara declared in a solemn voice. He picked up his cup of cafe latte, and held it up in the air. "For the success of our so-called mission. May Tokitoh return to Kubota."

"May Tokitoh return to Kubota." The others echoed, clinked cups of coffee, and drank, all resisting the urge to laugh. Their little oath here sounded ridiculous, as though as they were doing a sacred swear before a battle or a war. In fact, this whole ordeal sounded much like a fiction or a soap opera script. The EC was much familiar with tough gang-fight scenes and stolen exam paper scenarios, but a love conflict?

That, was the first of its kind. Time to put the EC's efficiency to test.

* * *

On the other side of the world, or rather, on the other side of the story, Minoru Tokitoh woke up to the mellifluous orchestration of a typical weekday morning, sharply shattering his dreamless sleep into pieces as he grudgingly obeyed to the calling of the sun. At first, he would not comply to the kisses of the morning rays, and shrugged off the first alarm that comprised birds twittering and chirping at his ears. But Nature insisted on getting him up on his feet, so, he woke up with a deadly temper, already short-fused, and ready to blast off at any rate. He rubbed his eyes as he walked sullenly pass several cherry blossom trees, his scowling face contrasting with the smiles that adorned the sakura petals and the face of passer-bys. As he trotted out of the park's picturesque landscapes, he fished out his wallet and made a mental calculation of his financial status. After adding and subtracting several set of digits, he drew a conclusion about his situation. He need to withdraw money, a little at least, to keep on surviving. And he need to find a way to survive, meanwhile.

Dusting his navy-blue jacket from the newly fallen snow, he walked on listlessly into the main road that led to the heart of the metropolis, and headed to the nearest bank. After withdrawing enough money to sustain his somewhat senseless journey, he felt hungry. He walked along the row of shops, surveying the products on display as he hunted for something to satiate his hunger. He entered a bakery, bought a bun, munched upon it and walked out listlessly.

He knew that to spend 24 hours a day was more than a torture. The notion of spending those time alone was too much to bear.

His legs were set to autopilot command. He allowed himself to be dragged into a nearby shopping complex, knowing that the so close and yet so far company of strangers might keep him sane. Or rather, he might allow himself to be caught in some engaging activity that will remove his mind from the frameset of his troubles.

The shopping complex was quite packed. Tokitoh was mildly surprised. Usually,... the shopping complexes should be quite vacant. Today is a weekday, and I am surprised...

Suddenly Tokitoh stopped in his tracks. He spun around, puzzled. But somehow that mellifluous voice penetrated through everything, and even the noisy crowd was drowned by the soft, mesmerizing melody. Tokitoh wondered about it, and noticed a large crowd that gathered at one part of the concourse ground. Judging from the amount of people congregated there, there must be an event going on, concluded Tokitoh. Furthermore, his ears picked up the sound sourced from the same place where everyone gathered.

"Surely, surely as we live we know more.
And, and as we live, we forget."

He pondered on whether it was wise to join the sea of humans, but considered not to. Instead, he sat on a nearby bench, trying to catch faint strains of the song. Slowly, the haunting melody filled the air, and the crowd began to quiet down a little, enabling Tokitoh to listen to the song thoroughly. Several people walked away, and the crowd loosen up on one side of the concourse. Tokitoh began to get access to a much more visibility. So, it was a talent quest... no wonder everyone's attracted, and no wonder the complex is stuffed full with humans, albeit being a weekday. Tokitoh saw glimpses of a petite girl on the stage, dressed up to resemble an angel. She had short, cropped blond hair, with highlights of brown on the top. A fake halo was attached to her head, made up of silver tinsel draped around wire, presumably, as what Tokitoh perceived from afar. She wore a short white sleeveless top, a white mini skirt and white boots that resembled those tall ones found in cosplay shops that mimicked those of Sailormoon's. And to add to her 'angelic' appearance, her outfit was complimented by silver wings attached to her back. Those wings glittered as they mirrored the spotlights that danced upon her on the stage.



"Things that begin always have an end.
If you can live on, think always of that."

Everything was like an echo of his own situation. Every word sung was symbolic of his own stand. Every piece, every fragment of the tune reflected everything. Tokitoh closed his eyes. If things will come to an end,... when is the end to this journey? What will happen? Will I be continuing my life, sans Kubota? Or will it be as what he predicted, as what he prophesied, as what he dared me to? Just like what he said, will I return to the doorsteps of the apartment, down upon my knees?



"If this world were split into winners and losers,
I'd rather be a loser.
I always want to be a loser."

To lose is to admit that he won again, forever, in the games we played. I had been a loser, many times, so many times, countless times, endless times, too many times, and I've never won. I don't mind losing,... but to what cause? Why am I consoling myself with loses? Why must I surrender the trophy, if it was unworthy of the cause? I don't mind losing, so many times I've lost, because I am confident that I am losing for the better, for a cause that will bring much better aspects out of life. But now, I am no longer sure. I'm tentative, hesitant, and I don't know whether it is worth it all as it used to be.



"Surely, surely we are more beautiful when we're sad.
That's why, that's why we are dirtier when we're sad."

The girl spun about on stage, dancing gracefully to the slow tempo of the music, her hands flexed in the air in accordance of her steps, her lips forming out syllables of the song slowly. Her face bore a melancholic and yet cute expression, like those cherubic angels of the Renaissance era paintings. She won a number of hearts of the audience as some of them sang along to the song.



"To protect us and ours, we must sacrifice something yet again.
Those who can live on think always of that."

Sacrifice something? I've sacrificed too much. And as I live on now, I don't even know what are the meaning of sacrifices. People said that in order to love, there are definitely sacrifices to make in order to keep a relationship going on. Love requires sacrificial acts, acts of giving more than you receive, in order to receive something, despite the value that might not equal to the sacrifice. Sometimes, sacrifices were done in futile too. When you love someone, you'll do anything just to get a simple gesture that depicted the other side's love. Sometimes we sacrifice too much, and hoped, gave too much hope, only to be disappointed. When someone hoped too much, when someone hung their hopes and wishes upon the wings of stars, they will be much more disappointed than those who hoped little and only hung their hopes and wishes upon the wings of birds.

I must have been hoping too much, for I am disappointed beyond anything. Tokitoh mused silently, and he bit his lips. He thought that it was only appropriate if he gave everything, but now he realized that the scales were tipped to the other side because of the imbalance between give and receive. He gave away too much. He hoped too much. He was disappointed at last.



"If this world were split into winners and losers,
I'd rather be a loser.
I always want to be a loser.

What can I tell you?
I'm just a small, helpless person.
That's all I'll say for now
because sometimes words
are completely powerless."

Tokitoh left the bench, bringing along with him a heavy heart, heavier than lead. His steps were slow as though they were forced. He could hear loud applauses coming from where the stage was as the song ended. He, too, could hear the emcee announcing the next contestant's performance as the words were drowned by the deafening cheers from the crowd. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Tokitoh felt a little pang of jealousy towards the crowd in general. It was as though as they had nothing to worry about. It was as though as he was the only one who had a bad time. Sometimes, the feeling was just there, the feeling of contemplation of how you're suffering ceaselessly and yet others will be having the time of their life beside you.

Tokitoh decided that he should lighten up and enjoy his time. After all, it was holidays, right? If he spent his holidays sulking and glooming all the time, then the point of going on a holiday will render useless. So, feeling somewhat energetic with the silent determination boiling in his head, he decided to dish out that newfound energy on the arcade located on the top floor of the shopping mall.

As he passed by the tent for the talent quest contestants, he could hear a muffled cry coming from within it. A little curious, he took a peek into the slightly opened slit of the tent. A cute, chirpy voice called out to him. "Hey! You!" Tokitoh was startled. "Huh? Me?"

"Yeah! Who else?! Come in! I need some help!" The girl in the angel costume replied, her voice was still blurred by something. Tokitoh sighed. Here goes nothing... He pushed open the doors to the tent. The tent was slightly dark, illuminated only by the bulbs that were around the vanity mirror on the dressing table. The girl was sitting on a stool beside the dressing table, and was apparently struggling with her outfit. She was trapped in her sleeveless top which clung stubbornly on her head, and her halo was stuck fast to her hair. Her hands were tangled into the whole mess like a ribbon bow on a Christmas gift. Tokitoh stifled the urge to laugh by clamping his mouth tightly that the sound came out as a strangled choke. The girl was not amused, however. "I know you're laughing! Aww,... come on. Please help me. I called you in to help, not to laugh!"

Tokitoh grinned as he unfastened the halo from the mess, and pulled several strands of hair from it. "Ouch!" The girl winced. "Sorry." Tokitoh answered, still grinning in amusement. He tossed the halo on the table, and helped her out with her sleeveless top. After moments of tugging, finally it came loose and freed her head. The girl smiled. "Finally! Thank you!" She hugged a blushing Tokitoh and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You saved my life!"

"Very funny." Tokitoh muttered, half grinning. The girl picked up a black jacket from a chair nearby and wore it on her white spaghetti-strapped top. "Hmm, by the way, your performance is nice." Tokitoh commented as he sat down on one of the stools nearby as he watched her picking up her items. The girl turned around, smiling. "Really? Thanks! I think I did quite good, but there are other contestants who were way better." She bent down to retrieve her comb from the floor. "Anyway, my name's Hotaru Kaede."

"Mine's Minoru Tokitoh. Nice to meet you." Tokitoh answered. He liked this girl. She was friendly and funny somehow. Cute, sophisticated in a childish demeanor too. Hotaru ran her comb through her hair. "Do you like the song?"

"Urm, yeah. The lyrics are beautiful. The song is nice. Whose song was it, anyway? You wrote it yourself?" Tokitoh queried. Hotaru grinned as she shook her head. "No. I wish I did write it, but it was a song written and sung by Ayumi Hamasaki. The title is 'No More Words'." Tokitoh swore that he would scream again if he heard the name 'Ayumi Hamasaki' for the third time. He was seething silently in his mind. Not again. Ayumi this, Ayumi that. What's next, I wonder? Ayumi Hamasaki writing a song to depict the problems I had with Kubo-chan? Fuck. Why must Life be such a cruel bitch?

"Erm, are you all right? You seem to be a little agitated." Hotaru questioned as she glanced worriedly at him. Tokitoh shook his head. "Nah, nothing." Hotaru was unconvinced nonetheless. "You seem to be somewhat frustrated. Especially when I mentioned 'Ayumi~" She cut her words short when Tokitoh's face went one shade darker. "Okay. Sorry. Tell me your problems if you feel like it. It helps, you know?" Hotaru said softly, smiling. Tokitoh raised an eyebrow cynically.

"Really! Believe me. I had a degree in psychology!" Hotaru raised both hands. "I swear."

"You? Degree? Psychology? Those words don't really fit in one sentence." Tokitoh commented. Hotaru laughed. "So, tell me why those words don't belong together." Tokitoh eyed her from top to toe. "Well, firstly, you don't even look like you're more than 15! And you look too cute to be a psychiatrist. And you don't look like someone who works at the crazy people's ward, and you are far too ... well, you don't look like a psychiatrist. Although I am stupid, but I won't be fooled that easily." Tokitoh folded his arms.

Hotaru laughed. "Okay. No one will ever believe me, it seems. Here." Hotaru tossed a card to Tokitoh. It was a business card with her name written upon it, and below it, her qualifications were inscribed neatly. Tokitoh handed the card back to her, but she declined. "Keep it. You might need my assistance next time." Tokitoh frowned. "I'm not going to be crazy or lunatic or whatever!" Hotaru giggled. "Just keep the card. So, tell me what is your problem. You seemed distant when I performed. I saw you from the stage."

"Liar." Tokitoh said, grinning. "How could you spot me from afar? Prove it."

"Well, I was dancing and then I spotted you sitting on a bench, listening to me and yet your eyes were so distant, as though as you were thinking deeply. You were sitting nearby the sushi restaurant, and behind you there's the shop which sells loads of Kokuyo stationery items. Nearby the place where you sat, there's a girl who wore a pink Santa hat, and her mother was wearing a navy blue kimono with white patterns. Others I don't recall much. Satisfied?"

"Wow. You..." Tokitoh stared at her as though as he met an alien who said "Hi! We come in peace!" to him in Japanese. Hotaru giggled. "See? Just tell me your problems. You'll feel better, trust me! After all, I'm giving you free consultation here. I won't charge, I promise!" Tokitoh sighed. "Well, okay. But,... just one thing."

"Yeah?"

"Don't treat me like I'm a lunatic or whatever. And don't go around thinking that I'm an alien when you heard my story." Tokitoh warned. Hotaru nodded. "Fire away! I can't wait!" She giggled again. Tokitoh groaned. "You're just such a kid."

"Well,..." Tokitoh's voice trailed. Suddenly he felt like his throat had been stuffed with sandpaper. No words came out from his mouth. To admonish all the sorrow, all the pain he felt, it was overwhelming. There was some kind of a sickening sensation within his heart. He was lost of words. He felt like everything had been such a pointless chapter of his life, and he felt like he was going through a futile option. Hotaru must have understood what he felt, for she spoke up suddenly. "It is all right if you wouldn't want to tell me. After all, it is your right to keep it a secret. But to keep everything bottled inside, one day it will explode too." She offered him a sympathetic smile. Tokitoh nodded. "I know. It is all right. I chose to tell you, anyway. It is just that I don't know where to start. To even think of the whole problem makes me sick to my stomach."

"Try to close your eyes. Breathe in deeply, just keep yourself quiet, then talk when you feel like it." Hotaru suggested. Tokitoh abided. He closed his eyes. Suddenly his ears picked up a light melody floating through the tent. It was soothing, reassuring, somewhat tranquil and calm. At first Tokitoh perceived that it came from a contestant's performance outside, but soon he came to realize that it was from Hotaru herself. She was singing quietly.

"Ki ni naru noni kikenai,
Oyogitsukarete,
Kimi made mukuchi ni naru..."

He thought of the first time, when he came to Araiso. Just a new kid on the block, just someone unknown to everyone. "Well, back two years then, I shifted to Yokohama. I went there alone. No one, but only me. I was enrolled into this private school. Let's just call it A Private High School. Well, at A, everyone's into their own things. There are many bullies, just like a typical high school. Being someone who doesn't like to be bullied, I fought against some of them. Well, I know this is against the rules, but I don't really care. I almost got myself into detention when I was about to retaliate on one of the bullies. Well, someone stopped me from doing so. He was..." Tokitoh almost choked. His eyes were still shut, and the room was still filled with Hotaru's sweet voice.

"Aetai noni ienai nami ni osarete,
Mata sukoshi tooku naru...

Tokirenai you ni keep it going baby,
Onaji kimochi janai nara tell me.
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo,
Sukoshi nara shite mite mo ii yo..."

"... let's just call him K. Well, K was a member of the Executive Committee. The Executive Committee's task is to reinforce discipline in the school, as well as to solve discipline cases and stuff. Although their concept of 'solving discipline cases' are really bizarre, the EC is a force to be reckoned in the school. Well, soon, I joined the EC because of K. We sat together at the back of our class. Well, a few months later, I shifted into his apartment as the rental for my former one was too expensive. Furthermore, he was living alone and faced financial problems about rentals too, so we figured that we could get together and split the rent between us. His apartment was more convenient anyway. Well,..." Tokitoh felt better as he talked from the start. In fact, he felt that his burden seemed lighter, as he told about his past with Kubota. It was like a jigsaw puzzle. Everything was falling into pieces. Back into completeness.

"I wanna be with you now.
Futari de distance shijimete.
Ima nara maniau kara.
We can start over,
Hitotsu ni wa narenai.
I wanna be with you now.
Itsu no hi ka distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We can start it over,
Yappari I wanna be with you..."

"Somehow, being with K was entirely different than anyone I've been with before. It was a feeling of acceptance, a feeling of being myself rather than standing there under a facade that wasn't me. I could be entirely myself with him. I don't need to hide anything. I just felt that he could accept me the way I am. I knew he could accept me for my way, my impulsiveness, my brashness, my loud-mouthed self, my emotional self, and above all, he accept me and myself. He cares, I know. He is someone you'll like as a friend to confide in. And back then, I had no one to confide. I lost everyone I could trust before, so I treasured our friendship a lot. Every day in A, every day at home, every day spent with him, I just knew that I found someone whom I could lean on. Truly, as a friend."

"But sometimes it was the way he treated me that irked me a lot. Usually he had a goofy and dumb face on, just the typical K I knew. But sometimes, he could just stare at you, rather deeply, and you'll be wondering what he'll be thinking inside that brain of his. And his stare was bugging me. A lot. I felt like a rat cornered by a cat. I thought I was imagining things, but I began to think that he had some other intentions behind his stares. Some feelings hidden deep inside. Something that he wanted to say, but dared not. And usually I found myself staring back at him, into that chocolate pool of endless depth."

"And suddenly, he'll look away, or that deep, enigmatic gaze will be replaced by his usual expression. That, was for starters. Soon, this staring game was intensified by gestures and actions. And most of the time, this stupid game took place in front of spectators. The EC headquarters, the classroom, almost everywhere. He'll just stare, pin me against the walls, or maybe move real close beside me, with a deep gaze, leaving me there, helpless under those gaze as I stared back. Then, he'll just snatch my History notes from my hands, and I'll be chasing him around the EC room. There was the time when he teased me silently, then he handed me my ice-cream. Or the time when he tried to bandage me up over a silly paper cut, or the time when he wanted me to run an errand. Or... there are just so much endless possibilities to that stupid staring game. I just couldn't understand it. He's insane, I thought. But somehow I was addicted to it. Addicted to the way he stared at me. Addicted to the stupid fucking game. Addicted to him."

"Hito koto de konna ni mo kizutsuku kimi wa
Kodoku wo oshiete kureru..."

"Mamorenai toki keep on trying, baby
Yakusoku toori janai kedo trust me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Kimi to nara shite mite mo ii yo..."

"Needless to say, feelings grew, but I kept them in silence. It was painful. Well, judging from all the endings of our little game, I knew that he wasn't serious. Maybe he had some penchant for staring at people or something. But as everything was only suggestive during the foreplay, I couldn't decipher his true intentions. I felt like being played up. Sometimes in the middle of the game, I couldn't help but to feel hurt. After all, to him, it was only a god-damn fucking game and to me, I took it seriously. I tried to search for signs of his feelings towards me but it was like searching for a needle in the middle of a haystack. Or worse, it was like finding for a grain of sand in the middle of the haystack itself."

"He had this habit of his, when he would place his arm on my shoulders when we walked together or when we stood beside each other or when we,... well, literally whenever we are together. Whenever he did that, I felt like leaning closer to him, and to even hug him. But I suppressed those wild random emotions as I don't want to shatter everything. I knew that my feelings were not of the norm, and if he took it the wrong way, our friendship will be jeopardized. And I could not bring myself to see our beautiful friendship destroyed. So, I suffered everything silently. All I could do was only to savor the times when he held me tight, symbolic of friendship. I could just wistfully contemplate whenever he did so, wishing that it was all for real, and that he would come to recognize me as something more than a friend."

"Everything was like that, until..." Tokitoh's voice wavered slightly. Sighing again, he bit his lips, and continued. "Everything was like that until late one night. Just like an ordinary night together at home, I will be facing the television alone, playing games on the PS2. He would be laying upon the sofa, stretched lazily there with his boring book. Somehow, that day was special. A blackout occurred, causing my game to be disrupted. I was wandering in the dark, trying to get something to light the place up." Tokitoh blushed slightly at the memory of himself in the disarming darkness, when he moved about blindly, only to find himself 'feeling for Kubota'. "Well, somehow K got a candle, and he lighted it. Then, we just sat down there. And suddenly,..."

Tokitoh felt a lump developing within his throat. His eyes moistened slightly, but he held those forthcoming tears back. He did not want to shed futile tears anymore. "Well, somehow we confessed our feelings there. I,... I really love him. And it was pleasurable to find out that he felt the same way too. It was bliss. I know what I truly wanted. I wanted to be with him, maybe not forever, but as long as time allows me I'll be there. As long as Time allows it, I'll love him from the bottom of my heart."

"I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance mitsumete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Kotoba de tsutaetai
I wanna be with you now
Sono uchi ni distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We should stay together
Yappari I wanna be with you..."

"During the few weeks together as his lover, I couldn't have ask for more. He was everything. But, the whole relationship was like a roller-coaster ride. There are times when we'll be blissfully happy, and there are times when K would turn into a monster overnight. He would be really cold. He would just ignore me. Altogether. And I hate it a lot." Tokitoh inhaled, and sighed.

"I tried compromising, I tried to tolerate, I tried everything I could. I don't want to lose everything. I thought I was to be blamed at first. After all, wasn't I the one who initiated everything? I felt like I am to be blamed..."

"The roller coaster ride continued, until the other day when everything exploded. It was the end of the ride, and the beginning of another torturous ride. Both K and I quarreled, and I chose to leave. And now, I'm no less than a peasant who walks the streets of Tokyo by daylight, a pauper resting in a cage of gold at night. So, that is my miserable story." Tokitoh concluded.

"I wouldn't say that it is miserable." Hotaru smiled. "You're just going through a hard time, that's all. That is why you're viewing everything in a disdainful light."

"So, what does Miss Psychiatrist has to say about this?" Tokitoh commented. Hotaru rested her chin on her hands, thinking. Absentmindedly her other hand reached out for a can drink from her bag, and she handed it to Tokitoh. "Have one." "Thanks." Tokitoh took it while Hotaru helped herself to another one. "Well,..." Hotaru paused. "... I am not a counselor for love problems, but from my insight, I think that both of you are rather insecure."

"Why do you say so?" Tokitoh asked. "Simple. He loves you and yet he is cold sometimes, right? Maybe he is just simply afraid of too much commitment or attachment. He is afraid that if he's too close to you, he might lose you one day. And meanwhile, you, on the other hand, wanted him to respond to you because you are afraid that you will lose him if you let him go."

"..." Tokitoh was speechless. He didn't realize that such possibilities exist.

"Generally, he keeps to himself sometimes, because he wants space to breathe. He knew that he loved you, and yet he didn't want to lose you. Maybe he lost someone before, so he is afraid to lose another person again. And you, you might have been alone before. You never felt the sensations of love, so you are desperately seeking for it. You wanted to shower him with affection, because he is the center of everything. And you are just afraid of losing him."

Hotaru's voice wavered. Tokitoh looked up at her. Her light make-up was smeared a little by a streak of tears. "Why are you crying?" He asked bluntly. Hotaru bit her lips, and her eyes showed signs of even more tears threatening to fall. Tokitoh winced. "Aww, I'm sorry! Just... don't cry, okay? I am not good in comforting people, and I hate the idea of making someone cry."

"It's..." Hotaru wiped her tears. "Well, its nothing." She smiled. He doesn't need to know that I was once confronted with a problem like this before... and he doesn't need to know that I've been through something as bitter as this too...

"Hey, Hotaru!" A deep voice greeted them from the entrance of the tent. Hotaru and Tokitoh looked up, surprised. A petite girl with platinum white hair entered the tent. "Oh, Sayaka! How's your performance?" Hotaru greeted her happily. "It was cool! The crowd was wild! I love them!" The girl, Sayaka said enthusiastically. "Hey, who's this guy?" Sayaka whistled as she pointed at Tokitoh.

"He? Meet my younger brother, Minoru Tokitoh." Hotaru said, giggling. Tokitoh glared at her. "Very funny. I am not her younger brother. By the way, I'm Minoru Tokitoh. Call me Tokitoh." He extended a hand in friendship to Sayaka. Sayaka shook it. "Nice to meet you! Of course I know Hotaru is crapping, as usual." She said wryly.

"Well, I'm Matsuri Sayaka. Just call me Sayaka." She grinned. Hotaru smiled. "Hey, Tokitoh, you are here alone, right? Care to join us?"

"Yeah, if you're alone, why not join Hotaru and I with several friends of ours? We're having fun at the shopping complex today. We'll be hanging out here, basically." Sayaka quipped. Tokitoh bit his lips. "Well,..."

"Don't worry! You're not stuck with a bunch of rabid girls. There's several contestants of this talent quest that will be joining us later. They're new friends too. So you won't feel left out. We'll be going to the arcade. C'mon, join us!" Hotaru pleaded. "You don't want to wander alone in this shopping complex, right?"

"I guess it is okay then." Tokitoh answered, grinning. Hotaru and Sayaka cheered.

"Let's get the party started!"

* * *

On the second floor of the shopping complex, Kubota was standing at the arcade counter, a stack of silver coins in his palms. His lips curved into a smile as he walked to the Dance Dance Revolution Club Mix machine. His eyes were fixed on the synchronized rhythm of the player's steps as it coordinated perfectly with the beats of the song blasting from the speakers. The song was a regular to his ears. It was the Japanese version of 'Luv To Me'.

"..sayonara
aishiteta
ano toki ni
kidzuita
omoide ha
yume no naka de
wasureta koro ni mezameru no..."

He couldn't wait for the screen to flash the sign that he was waiting patiently for.

Game Over.

End of Part 7a : Firefly