This is very silly. But I must exercise my plot bunnies. I shall have need of them soon. Enjoy what I call mildly disturbing.

As it so happens sometimes, all four of our young protagonists were at the Green Dragon at once. Now normally folks would try to prevent this disastrous happening, but circumstances dictated otherwise.

"Sho," slurred Sam. "Mischter Froroff...hee hee...I called ya Schmifter Mooff...hee hee..."

"Whaddisit, Sham?" mumbled Frodo lifting his head from the table.

"Mischter Froror, can I get a raishe? Hic!"

"Sham, I aingunna givva raise...'stoo early inna Springk."

"Shay, fellash!" cried Merry from the opposite end of the bar. "Free drinksh on Froroff!"

"Yay!" shouted the inebriated customers.

"Gee, thanksh Misther Formro...hee hee...call'd ya that 'gain...tee hee..."

"Yay for Forfro!" cried Frodo getting up on the table. "I'd likka sing tis song in his eshteemable honor, honor. Yup.

I know a fella named Sham
He likes to fry things in pans
This silly man named Sham!
I know a fella named Pippie
He stan's up on tabbles and goes "Yippie!"
This silly man name' Pippie!
I know a fella named Merry
He makes ev'ryone 'round 'im, uh, merry!
This, uh, merry man named Merry!"

So inebriated were the customers, that they actually thought this was a work of art. At least one inebrei was inspired to sing.

"Dawwas Mishter Foorfo, tee hee, I mean Mishter Forbo...an' he's a good shinger! I gunga singa shong too!

Mishter Frob, tee hee, I mean Mishter Frofro, hee hee hee hee!
Is a very good mashter for such as I!
I weed da lawn and trim hish, uh, sausagesh!
I like saushages! They taste like, uh, tomatoes!
Mishter Farfro, hee hee hee..."

So downright drunk was Frodo's steadfast gardener, that he actually fell off the table and hit his head. Nobody noticed.

And uh, that's the end. Hope you enjoyed at least somewhat.