Disclaimer: Not mine. See previous chapters for various denials of ownership.
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Last time in the continuing saga:
"Don't sass me, Alex. I just disregarded my marriage vows, drugged my husband, and ran away from my family. I'm not in the best of moods."
"So you're telling me –"
"That Captain Winn Morgan rides again." The declaration brought her no joy. Looking back at the house as Alex guided the horse towards Osprey Point, she found her own lighted window, and hoped that she hadn't just made the biggest mistake of her life.
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Winn's little gambit had been even more successful than she could have hoped. No one discovered her departure until late the following morning.
Cat had instructed one of the servants (whose name was Betty) to leave a breakfast tray outside the newlyweds' door in the hopes that at some point they would open it, find the food, and be able to eat without coming downstairs. Around eleven that morning, Betty found Cat in the parlor and informed her that the tray had been left untouched.
Ry, who was with is wife at the time, found this information to be useful. Deciding that he was being remiss in his duties as eldest brother, he bounded up the stairs to the accompaniment of his wife's protests that he should leave Winn and Jack alone.
Reaching Winn's door, he started pounding on it as loudly as he could all the while yelling, "I understand the attraction of staying in bed all day, really I do. But if you two don't eat something, it's unlikely that you'll be able to continue your current . . . activities." This sally was met by a flurry of masculine curses.
Ry waited patiently as he heard stumbling footsteps approach the door. He was expecting to be greeted by a foul-tempered pirate, but not by one who was fully dressed – in the same clothing he had been wearing the night before. He was further surprised when Jack asked him, "I don't suppose you've seen that treacherous little minx I married yesterday?"
Jack awoke the next morning with more of a headache that he normally would have blamed on an overabundance of alcohol. The only thing wrong with that excuse was the fact that he hadn't drunk that much the night before, wanting to have all his wits about him when it came to dealing with his new wife. Lot of good that did me. Ry's pounding and yelling at the door was echoing inside his head unpleasantly.
Cursing, Jack got out of bed. He noticed the funny taste in his mouth as he walked to the door. "I suppose this proves that she really is the daughter of a pirate line."
Walking somewhat unsteadily, his feet feeling like lead weights, Jack opened the door and found himself face to face with his new brother-in-law. In the mood he was in, there was only one thing to ask. "I don't suppose you've seen that treacherous little minx I married yesterday?" Because if you have, I'm going to tan her hide.
After several days of fruitless searching, Jack ordered his crew to ready the Pearl for departure. If Winn was determined to not be found, then he would gladly oblige her. And if you believe that, then I also have some uncursed Aztec gold to sell you.
Jack stood on the beach attached to Swallows Rest. He had to admit to being angry with Winn, but at the same time, all he wanted to do was find her and prove that she was being foolish. She belonged with him. She belonged to him. But what does she do? The silly chit runs, and makes sure that I can't run after her. If that's the way she wants things, then she can bloody well –
"You're not thinking about doing something stupid, are you, Jack?" Jack turned to find the Turners descending the path from the house. They had made him promise not to leave before they could come say good-bye.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, lad. All I'm doing is setting about my business. It's been too long since the crew brought in a haul. If I don't find us a nice fat pigeon soon, I'll have deserters, and that's just a messy business."
Will looked at this pirate that he called a friend. "Aye, that's why you're looking so grave. The expectation of a good fight has got you wondering if you'll come out the winner."
"I resent that. I'm thinking of finding a nice fat French merchant ship. They're not much of a fight. Besides, what makes you think I would turn down a real fight right now?"
"We both know that's not the fight I was speaking of, Jack. You're thinking about not going after your wife. Right now, that's the only battle worth waging. Go find her."
Jack turned his back on his friends. "My lovely wife has made her position clear. She wants nothin' to do with me. And if that's her attitude, I'm not so sure I want her back, savvy?"
"Jack, you can't just give up on her." Elizabeth knew that if she could talk some sense into this man, then everything would be all right between him and her friend. "She loves you."
"Maybe that's enough for you to go on, missy, but apparently the same can't be said for your friend." Jack watched as the longboat came back to collect him. "Now, if you two would excuse me, I have a life to conduct."
Before he could take two steps away from the couple behind him, he felt himself being whirled around. "Jack Sparrow, you're being a coward," spat Elizabeth.
Looking down at the woman before him, Jack felt his temper strain at his controls. Few men had ever gotten away with calling him a coward to his face. "I'm not the one who ran."
"And you're also not the one running now." Elizabeth started pleading with this man to listen. "You don't understand. If Winn had stayed here with you, I would have been more worried than I am now. She's been running from love for years. She's not going to stop in a matter of days. If she had stayed it would have meant that she didn't love you. But she did run, and if I know her, she's hating herself for it this very moment. But being as foolishly stubborn as she is, she's refusing to come back even though she knows she's made a tremendous mistake. She's thinking it's better to simply believe that you now hate her than it is to come back and find out she's right. And she will continue to think this until you find her.
"Right now she's a bundle of raw nerves and half-formed ideals. Her emotions are in a riot and she's running away so that she can pack them back into the little box that's she's been storing them in for years. You opened the box but you haven't destroyed it yet. Until it is, she's going to keep running." Elizabeth got up in Jack's face to make the crowning point. "If you enjoy impossible challenges as much as you say you do, you'd go after her and truly make her yours."
"She's got a point, Jack." Will decided it was time to enter the fray before Elizabeth went too far. The girl had courage, but not much caution at times. "Besides, you love her. Love can be ignored, denied, or hidden, but it can't be made to disappear. You know you'll end up going after her eventually. Her final conquest should be easier if you go after her now."
Jack hated to admit it, but these two were making a certain amount of sense. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about it now. He was still too angry to go after Winn now. If he did, he would end up doing something stupid. It was better to go after that French merchant vessel as he had been planning, then continue his search for Winn. After all, he wouldn't get far if half his crew deserted him due to a lack of funds.
"Thank you for the advice, however, I must tell you that it hasn't done much to change my mind." The longboat had reached the beach – it was time for him to go.
A week out from port, the Black Pearl had caught its French merchant, and was now sailing more or less aimlessly, on the prowl for more prey. Jack had spent more time alone in his cabin than he had since regaining the Pearl. Well, he was alone except for a bottle of rum, one that stayed remarkably full. He wasn't in the mood to drink. Things were too serious for that.
His crew wondered what he did in there day after day. They would have been disappointed to know that he did nothing but sit in a chair and stare at an unopened envelope that lay on the table before him. It was the letter that Winn had left, the one full of excuses for her departure. Jack wondered what was in it, what she had said, but her deflection had revived a sense of betrayal in him. A feeling that he had thought had died with Barbossa. Apparently he had been wrong.
So this is what the great Captain Jack Sparrow has been brought to – mooning over a girl, a girl, alone and without solace in his cabin. And why without solace? Because he's too depressed to drink. Bloody women are nothing but an inconvenience to honest pirates. He glared at the letter as if Winn would know he was doing so.
Several times he had been tempted to throw it away, or burn it, but for some reason, he hadn't been able to bring himself to do so. One corner was a bit scorched because he had left it too near a candle flame as he stood in unmoving indecision, but it wasn't enough to keep it from bring legible.
So I sit here, afraid to open a letter. Afraid to hear that she's gone and run off with a lover, or has decided to become a nun, or something equally preposterous. One again, Jack picked up the envelope and held it, trying to decide whether or not to read it. He had just made up his mind to put it off, when the seal broke open. The envelope had been handled so often in the last two weeks that the seal had been weakened.
Jack sat staring at it for another moment or two, his eyes focused internally. If I really don't love Winnie, why do I still have this? If I really don't care where she is or what she's doing, then why do I want to read it?
Tired of the debate that had been carried on in his head for weeks, Jack left his cabin. The sun had set, and twilight was fading, bringing the first stars of night out in understated brilliance. Going to the prow of his ship, he seated himself as he stargazed. Stars were a skilled sailor's friend. They gave direction, guidance, even comfort and company. He searched the skies now as if they held an answer for his dilemma. But they were silent.
Stars are constant. The North Star never moves, the rest rise and set in their plotted courses.
And love? asked a part of himself. What of that? If it isn't constant, what good is it? Does it matter if it falls as long as it rises again? If I loved her enough to commit myself to her when she was by my side, how can I do anything other than love her when she isn't without declaring my love null and void?
He had come out here to escape, but escape wasn't what he was finding. He was finding the part of himself that he shoved behind the imperturbable Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow was a showman, giving his crew and everyone else the display they expected from him. More often than not it worked to his advantage. But Jack the man was often all but obscured by his more ostentatious half. Winn studiously ignored the self-assured Captain, but let herself sleep in the arms of the man. Could he forgive the ice princess Winn showed the world and chase after the woman who stood trustingly in his embrace?
When all is said and done, I'm really no better at presenting a true face to the world than she is. My thinking may not be as scrambled, but I'm guilty of the same faults. The Captain can be content with silver and gold, but the man needs another treasure.
These thoughts were interrupted by Ana Maria. She came to him with a lamp and a piece of paper in her hand. It was the letter. Silently she gave them to him.
"I'm not used to having to tell my crew to leave my correspondence alone, luv. I didn't think I had to warn you about sticking your nose in my personal business."
"You brood for much longer and it'll be ship's business. We don't need a captain who's distracted, Jack. Find out what she had to say then either go after her or forget her, but make up your mind." Having imparted those words of wisdom, she left, leaving the lantern behind so that Jack could read what Winn had found important enough to write for him.
Making up his mind to settle the matter once and for all, Jack opened the envelope and removed the two pieces of paper contained inside.
Jack,
I used to sit with Elizabeth on clear summer nights and listen as she listed a dream or a wish for every star she could number. I sit at my window tonight and find myself doing the same thing I did then. Jack looked up at the stars that he himself was watching, wondering at the coincidence. He had run into a lot of those lately. As if fate were trying to get his attention. He turned his attention back to the letter. I find myself listing reasons why I don't deserve love. But tonight there is only one reason coming to my mind.
I hope that this makes some kind of sense to you, but I find myself believing that I'm not sure of who I am, and am therefore unable to be the wife that a man deserves. I hardly know you, apart from what you've shown me. I know how easy it is to show others what they want to see, however, so I must admit to taking what you've said and done with a grain of salt. That doesn't change the fact that I want to know more, though. But before I can do that, I need to find out if I am able to be the woman that love demands I be.
I've lived most of my life carrying my mother's ghost, so determined that her failings were passed on to me the same way that her height was. Only recently have I begun to doubt that.
So, I'm going home, to England. To a village thirty miles from Ipswich to be exact. I need to talk things over with my parents, in the way that people often talk to the dearly departed. I don't expect any answers, but I hope to work through my doubts.
This is why I left. This isn't something I can ask for help with, it's not something that I can allow another to do for me. I doubt that I will be pleasant company during this time, and I know that I'll want to spend many hours alone. I also know that you would have come with me anyway. You chased me when I simply annoyed you, I doubt that you would do differently now, although I'm not sure if it would be out of anger or out of something deeper. But if you don't give chase, if my actions have caused you to hate me, then I understand if you wish to never lay eyes on me again. There are days that I wish the same.
I'm sorry Jack. I wish I could reassure you that I would be coming back as a woman ready to accept love, but I can't. It was wrong of me to go through with the marriage. I did it because I knew that as long as I did, I would own a piece of you. That's unfair considering that I'm unwilling to return the favor. If you want, should you desire it, I will willingly release you from our agreement. We haven't slept together, so nothing is yet final.
I must go. The sun is rising and soon people will be coming to ensure that I don't bolt before the ceremony. I am sorry for what I am about to do, but I can't see any other path clearly.
Winifred Morgan
"Gibbs! Set sails for England! I have some unfinished business with mistress Winn."
"Ye know where she is then, Jack?"
"Aye. I know where she's headed, and I'm going to take her."
Three weeks later, Winn escaped from the cabin she was sharing with Alex's "cargo," the woman he had been hired to deliver to England. As far as she was concerned, she could see why her lover had decided to discard her. She was pretty enough (Okay, she's beautiful), but she was spoiled, and idiotic, and generally useless for doing anything other than sitting in a parlor in some fancy house making polite yet empty conversation and drinking tea. And that was not an occupation that could be found aboard the Fortune's Run. If she had to listen to one more line of thoughtless drivel emerge from that woman's mouth, than she was going to either go insane or commit murder.
Yes, commit murder. I hardly have the energy to take a walk around deck, and here I am contemplating something that would undoubtedly take large expenditures of energy. Since leaving Osprey Point, Winn had sunk into a funk. She missed Jack, she realized that she had done something incredibly stupid and foolish, and she hurt. Her soul hurt, her heart hurt, and her mind refused to work properly. She kept waking up in the middle of the night thinking she was in his arms, and instead she found herself wrapped tightly in her blanket. She had she shed more tears during those midnight revelations than she had in years. Luckily for her, her bunkmate was not only a heavy sleeper, but snored loud enough to drown out whatever slight noises that Winn might make in her misery.
Not that you would expect such a thing of her. She looks so dainty and refined. Yet she snores louder than a bear in winter. Winn walked to the nearest railing, watching as the wake of the ship smoothed out to once again become part of the ocean's surface. Looking backwards. Always looking backwards.
Alex came up to her as she mindlessly stood there. He let her be for several minutes before saying anything. "Winn. You have to stop beating yourself up. You did what you felt you needed to. It's not your fault that he's letting you slip through his fingers."
"I could have done things differently, Alex. I could have at least faced him as I told him I was leaving. I could have explained myself in person. I could have done something other than drug him."
"You can't change the past. You can live in it, you can ignore it, you can accept it, or you can regret it – but you can't change it."
"Well, I'm definitely regretting this. It wasn't one of my smarter moves."
Alex shrugged. "It wasn't one of your worst ones either. I believe that one involved a long and complex plan to set me up with the miller's sister. That was a bad idea, backfired completely." Winn's face lightened a little, a rare grin creeping onto her face.
"It's not like I knew better yet, and it's not like I ever did it again."
"So you learn from your mistakes. You'll learn from this one."
"And if I don't get the chance to use that hard won knowledge?"
"I think you may be surprised."
Winn looked at Alex with a puzzled and suspicious look. "What do you mean by that?"
Alex looked suspiciously innocent. "What do you mean by asking what I mean?"
"What do you know that I don't?"
"Nothing that you won't find out sooner or later."
"Right. I think I'm going to go try to read and ignore little miss Priss' as she complains about anything and everything."
Winn left to return to her cabin. Alex did have to admit to feeling some pity for his friend. That Lady Patience was anything but patient. Shaking his head, he walked over to his first mate. "Has that ship continued gaining on us, Matthews?"
"Aye, Captain." Matthews handed over the spyglass he had in his hand. "See for yourself. She's nearly within identification distance."
Alex looked and nearly smiled with relief when his suspicions were confirmed through the looking glass. They were being followed by just the person he was hoping to see. "Matthews, reef sails. Drop anchor when they come within cannon range."
"Captain. The men are saying that's the Black Pearl. If that's true –"
"If that's true, we had best hand over what Captain Sparrow is seeking, hadn't we?"
Winn felt the ship slow down, but she was too focused on trying to block out the voice of her cabin mate to pay close attention to the fact. So focused was she in fact, that she didn't notice the raised voices outside or the sound of men boarding the ship. She was sitting on her bunk, pretending to read, pretending to try to catch the faint sunlight on the pages of her book.
In reality she was once again going over the fact that is had been nearly five weeks since she had left Osprey Point and had seen neither hide nor hair of the man she had left behind. Not that I blame him. I did something nearly unconscionable, drugging him like that. Had we been on a ship I could have been tried for attempted murder since a drugged man can't very well defend himself. I would understand if he never wanted to see me again, if he annulled the marriage.
The first thing that disrupted her from her melancholy and repetitive thoughts was the ear-piercing shriek of Lady Patience, and a shadow falling over her book. With a sudden sense of awareness and foreboding, she knew what had happened. Who had entered the room.
"I believe you're standing in my light. It's rather inconvenient at the moment. It you would be so kind as to move." While the words sounded polite, they were said with the tone of one who is tired of life's constant intrusions and tricks. Winn hadn't looked up from her book yet, terrified at what she might see on the man's face.
"The last time I checked, lass, pirates were never considered a convenience. I think you'd best put your book down and stand up – I'm wanting some answers." Jack replied now in the same way he had then. The only difference in this exchange is that this time Winn did as she was asked.
Standing, she looked at her husband, all nearly six feet of him. Her eyes devoured everything about him, from the brim of his hat to the heels of his boots. He didn't look too angry. A bit irritated, perhaps . . . .
Before Winn could ponder this any farther, Jack jerked her into him and delivered an amazingly passionate kiss to her mouth.
Winn reveled in his kiss. Her entire being crying out that this was what it wanted. That this closeness to another person was what it desired. She absolutely gave over all her control to Jack in that moment, trusting him to not use this against her.
Jack felt her surrender, felt her arms wrap around him. He parted her lips with his own and deepened the kiss, demanding more than he ever had from her. That she feel more, that she respond more, that she give more. And she gave it. He allowed his hands wander idly over her torso and back, never quite reaching her chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered that there was still another person in the cabin, but his mind refused to acknowledge that this was any reason for ending his reunion with his wife.
But even as he held her in his arms, he could feel his irritation with her, his anger at her disappearance flaring up weakly but with insidious persuasion. Well, she deserves it. She's the one who left me. And for who? That blond outside? Breaking the kiss slowly, he asked Winn softly but cruelly, "Does your lover kiss you like that?"
Winn looked confused for a moment as her brain was having a hard time processing the accusation. Lover? I don't have a lover. What is he talking . . . . She realized suddenly that he was accusing her of leaving him for Alex. Her own temper exploded before she could place any reign on it, the sudden resurgence of her hurt and doubt serving as a catalyst for her own anger.
"How dare you?" she hissed. Quicker than a snake strikes, she lashed out with her hand. Her palm connected with is cheek with a loud smack. But no matter how much that had hurt him, it couldn't equal the pain of his betrayal of her trust. She had turned it over to him without question, believing that the mere fact he had come after her was a sign that everything was going to be okay. But he had taken it and then accused her of betraying him. She felt betrayed by his feelings of betrayal.
The sound of their sudden conflict sent Lady Patience into another paroxysm of hysterical shrieking. She was ignored by the angry couple who were too far gone in fury and resentment to pay her any mind.
Rubbing his cheek, Jack focused hard eyes on Winn. "Your past behavior, indeed your current behavior, suggested that you might be susceptible to such a greeting. I've seen what kind of morals women who live on boats usually portray. That little display of yours did nothing to change my opinion."
Winn felt as if the sky had fallen in razor sharp fragments on her head to reveal a sky as black and dense as a pirate's heart. She reached out blindly to slap Jack again, but he caught her arm in an unbreakable grip. She could feel the bruising force of it, but didn't particularly care. She hurt too much for anything to increase the pain she was feeling. "You ignorant excuse for a man. You accuse me without any evidence. I've remained perfectly faithful to you, for all the good it's done me. I don't know where you find the nerve to say such things, but –" The sobs and screams coming from the room's other occupant drowned out whatever it was that Winn had to say. Not to mention that it distracted her from her anger for a moment, long enough for the pressure to stop building.
Looking with Jack with all the loathing she was currently feeling for him, she ripped her arm free, ignoring the pain the move caused. She swiftly crossed the room to the other woman's side. Standing before her, Winn drew back her arm and slapped the hysterical woman harder than she had ever slapped anyone in her life.
"You will stop that caterwauling this instant. No one has done anything to you yet, so just stop it you silly, useless excuse for a woman."
Patience stared at Winn in shock, a hand held to the red imprint on her cheek. "You . . . you hit me! No one has ever dared –"
"Yes, well, now someone has. What in the name of heaven were you carrying on for?"
Patience looked as if she would very much like to run from Winn, but in this small cabin that would mean coming closer to the pirate. "That . . . that man . . . he just came up and . . . and . . . accosted you! And you're not even that pretty!" Winn's eyes darkened in a warning for the other woman to watch herself. "It was completely improper! What if he . . . he . . . he kissed me next?"
Rolling her eyes, Winn replied, "If my husband kissed you, I'd make him very sorry indeed. However, he didn't." This statement caused her audience's jaw to drop open a very unfashionable way.
"Your . . . your husband?" she squeaked.
"Trust me; I feel the same way at the moment. Now leave." When the other woman seemed inclined to argue over this order, Winn simply narrowed her eyes and repeated herself. "Leave." Patience obeyed.
Left alone with her husband, Winn was once more reminded of her grievance with him. Was reminded of how carelessly he had thrown accusations at her, how calmly he had torn at her heart. Well, it was time to pay him back.
Without hesitation, she whipped out her knife from its place on her belt, and threw it at him as hard as she could. She didn't hit him, but she did manage to bring a thin welt of blood to his upper arm. Before she could start yelling at him again, he had her pinned against the wall, her wrists held immobile in one of his hands.
Shaking his head as if he were addressing a rebellious child, his hands giving lie to the mild look of amusement on his face, he said, "Now that was entirely undeserved."
"If you believe that, then you're even more arrogant than I thought. You come in here after following me against my wishes, you accuse me of sleeping with men behind your back, you kiss me as if you love me, and then speak to me as if you hate me. And now you're surprised that I'm angry with you?" Winn felt all her hurt come rushing back. It made her foolish.
"You're the one who left me. If anyone around here has the right to be angry, it's me."
Without thinking, Winn said, "It's not my fault you felt as if you had to be drunk before you could sleep with me. That you'd rather indulge in alcohol than talk to me."
"You drugged me! What did you expect me to do? Start comparing the works of famous literary figures and how the themes they favored contributed to their literary success?"
"I'm not the one who married someone they didn't love!" Winn screamed this in the face of the man imprisoning her. As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew they either been the second biggest mistake of her life or the best thing she could have said. She saw their impact in Jack's eyes, felt his grasp on her loosen. Pulling free she wrapped her arms around herself as she turned to face the wall and rested her forehead against it.
Jack suddenly become conscious of just what he had been saying to this woman he claimed to love. He realized that unlike with other women, Winn took it all to heart and believed every single word. Took it as confirmation that she was a being undeserving of love. He had let his irritation and jealousy get the better of him in the same way that Winn let her fears get the better of her. He realized with sudden clarity that Winn hadn't been running from him, but from her panic of having all her worst fears proved right. How was he supposed to fix this? Talk to her.
"What do you mean, Winn?" Had he called her anything but that, she might have left the cabin, might have decided to give up completely. But he had called her by name – not by some endearment, but by her name.
Defeated, Winn answered. "I heard you and Will talking that day you asked me to marry you. I heard how you were so certain that the Pearl was your only freedom, and how I was nothing but a weight around your neck. An anchor." Winn's voice diminished throughout her explanation until it was no more than an anguished whisper. "I won't play second fiddle to a ship, Jack. I won't be the 'ball and chain' while the Black Pearl is your freedom. I won't stand for it. I can't live like that. I would shrivel up and die inside." She turned and gazed at Jack with lifeless eyes. "If that's how you truly feel about me, then you shouldn't stand for it either."
Well, this is a fine fuddle. Looking at the defeated woman before him, Jack realized, really came to comprehend just how much she took things to heart – how deeply she felt things. But is it too late to use that knowledge? All his anger and irritation disappeared in the face of her pain. She had circles under her eyes, her hair was lank and dull, and she seemed even skinnier than she had been the last time he had seen her. It was suddenly all he could do to keep himself from sweeping her into his embrace and then into bed.
But he did resist. Somehow he knew that touching Winn right now would simply confuse her further, would further distort the issue. Instead he removed himself from temptation, going to lean against the room's small table. Crossing his arms, he said clearly, "There are three oaths that a man keeps on the sea, Winn. Those made to his crew, those proclaiming revenge, and those made to his wife. And no pirate gets married if he isn't truly in love with the woman he's to marry."
"Not even to save his own neck?" The question was whispered as softly as ice melting in the spring.
"What kind of life would a man have if he were forever tied to someone he don't love?"
"So why . . . why . . ."
"Why did I marry you?" Winn nodded. "I thought the answer should be obvious."
Winn came a step closer to him, wanting to be able to forgive him, wanting this entire mess to be explained away. Wanting him to make her stop hurting. He had helped her before, but there was one thing still holding her back. She needed to hear the words, needed to hear what he was dancing around. Because then she could say it too. "I need to hear it, Jack. I need more than vague declarations."
For several minutes of complete silence, Jack simply stared at his wife. What she was asking for was more than he had ever given anyone. It was more than he had ever even thought of giving anyone. Why couldn't she be content with the fact that he had married her, and leave things at that?
He wasn't going to say it. Winn felt her shoulder slump, her last hope dissolve. At least he refuses to be dishonest with me. She nodded, trying not to break down in tears. Slowly she started backing towards the door, preparing to run again. To run for the last time because this time she wouldn't come back. "Good-bye, Jack."
Jack realized that if he let Winn walk out that door, then he was going to lose her forever. That was not an option. If she needed to hear the bloody words, then he'd say them, but he'd make sure she regretted it every day for the rest of her life. Because that's how long he was going to keep her with him.
Standing, he pulled out his sword and threw it, embedding it in the door near the hand she had extended to open it. She jumped back and looked at him, unsure of what he was doing or why he was doing it. He hadn't managed to lock her in the room, just to delay her departure.
Seeing the question in her eyes, he shrugged. "So I may have picked up a few things from Will." Leaning back against the table he said, "I just want to tell you that you are a hard-headed, foolish, demanding, sharp-tongued woman, and if you were ever anything less than that, I wouldn't love you as much as I do. Can we please put this behind us now?"
Winn couldn't believe what she was hearing. That was possibly the most ungracious declaration of love she had ever heard in her life, yet it was the most precious. Abandoning any thought she had of leaving, she walked across the room to Jack. Stopping just out of reach, she said, "That was most likely the most unromantic thing I've ever heard from you, Jack Sparrow."
"If you wanted romance, then you should have married a poet."
Tapping her chin thoughtfully, Winn said, "You know, there's still time for me to correct that little oversight. It's not as if this marriage is valid as of this point. There must be someone around that –" She stopped as she caught the glare that Jack was throwing her. "Then again, maybe not." Glancing down at her feet, she returned to the important matter. "Did you mean it?"
"No, I said it simply to get you to fall into the bed with me so we can make madly passionate love." Jack was unused to having to deal with this kind of situation. He could face down countless men, could make jokes at his own hanging, but telling a woman he loved her was entirely outside of his experience. His frustration at his own ineptness made him short. "Of course I meant it. However if you wanted to jump into bed anyway . . ." He found Winn in his arms before he could finish. She was hanging onto him with all the desperation of a drowning man. "Is this a yes or a no?" He felt tears seeping through his shirt. "Never mind."
The two flawed lovers stood holding each other for some time. Long enough for Alex to wonder if they had managed to kill each other. Lady Patience was still in a lather over her treatment at Winn's hands, and while her complaints and protestations were amusing, they were also getting rather repetitive. Faced with having to make a choice between listening to the spoiled woman for any longer and the danger of facing his friend while she was in a foul temper, Alex immediately voted for the more interesting option.
Abandoning his passenger without even an "excuse me," to her great surprise and offense, he approached the cabin that held Winn and her husband. Not even bothering to knock on the door, he entered the room. What he found was Winn, her head buried in the man's chest, her arms around his waist while his were around her waist and shoulders, his head resting on hers. It looks as if they've managed to come to a truce – for the time being. Alex doubted that they would go for long without finding something else to argue over.
Clearing his throat to announce his presence, Alex was treated to the full force of Jack's glare. He tightened his arms around his wife as if staking a claim. Alex tried to suppress a laugh – so Winn hadn't yet told her husband of his . . . inclination. No wonder the Captain had come aboard with a cloud of jealousy hanging around him. He watched as Winn murmured a question and as Jack replied, an eye still watching Alex suspiciously. That eye widened as Winn again murmured, the trace of amusement in her voice reaching across the small room to where Alex stood by the door. Jack looked at Alex assessingly before shrugging and loosening his hold on Winn.
Winn was feeling better than she had since the night of their arrival at Swallows Rest. She was in her husbands arms, and he had just said that he loved her – albeit, not very willingly. It was that hesitance that had convinced her of his sincerity. Lies came easily, but the truth was often difficult to utter. So for the time being, she put the thoughts of her journey out of her mind and focused on trying to decipher exactly what Jack smelled like.
The sea, the wind, a faint tang of . . . of tar. And something else. Soap? Burying her nose in his shirt, she inhaled slowly. Yes, he smells a little like soap. And of a hard day's work. All in all, it was a very masculine scent – reassuring, slightly dominating, and entirely like Jack.
She was going to say something to this effect when she heard someone clear their throat and felt Jack's arms suddenly tighten around her. "Who is it?" she asked in sotto voice.
"Your . . . friend."
Winn heard the reluctant jealousy in this statement and smiled. The poor man still thought that Alex was competition for him, when in reality, he was competition for her. But not much of one. "Jack," she murmured wickedly. "I think you can stop worrying about something happening between Alex and me. For one thing, he's a very old friend. For another, you're more likely to be his type than I am." She smiled as she felt Jack freeze, his head lifting to look at her friend.
"Oh." He loosened his arms, and while she was disappointed in this, it was probably for the best.
She turned her head to look at her friend, still reluctant to totally remove herself from Jack's embrace. She was going to be leaving soon enough as it was without depriving herself of his touch while he was here in the same room with her. Most of their issues may have been resolved, but hers were not.
"Come to see the carnage?" she asked Alex.
He shrugged. "Apparently not. But I may still get an opportunity." Almost hesitantly he asked, "Have you decided what you'll be doing next?"
"Returning to the Pearl."
"Continuing to England."
Winn and Jack looked at each other. Jack had a look mild perplexity on his face, which was quickly overshadowed by determination. Winn swallowed because she could see that this next discussion was going to be disagreeable. Perhaps not as horrid as the last, but unpleasant nonetheless.