The Last Time
A/N: Hey. Heres the next chapter! Hope ya like. Thanks for all the reviews!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns all.
Rating: Pg13
Summary: Buffy Summers- an upcoming model in the business is hired to do an intimate photo shoot with Spike Johnson, the hottest thing in music. They will be king and queen of the year....but does hatred and desire turn them into the couple of the year? B/S
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It had been two days since that night when Spike had broken her heart. He wished he could talk to her and try and explain. He tried calling her, but she unplugged her phone from the wall since he kept getting a busy signal. He even tried knocking at her door, but she wouldn't answer. He decided it was best to give her time alone, and so he had backed off and gave her the space she needed.
But Buffy didn't need space. She needed him. She couldn't sleep for the past two days, or even eat. She felt weak, like she couldn't move. She tried to drown her surrows in a bottle of vodka last night, but only ended up smashing it against the wall in a fury of anger. Now she sat on her floor in the corner of the room, staring blankly at her surroundings.
Buffy felt dizzy and sick. Sitting there, sprawled in a small position, staring at the wall. She brang her knees in to her more. She shut her eyes tightly feeling a sharp pain in her head suddenly. But when she closed her eyes all she saw was Spike's face smiling at her. She didn't want to open her eyes, she wanted to keep seeing his face in her head. Slowly, his features disappeared from her memory and she cried out.
"No! No, Spike. Don't leave, I need you." Buffy sobbed, burrying her face in her hands. "Please don't leave me." She whispered as she tried desperately to cry.
She needed to cry, needed to feel something. Needed to feel the stinging tears sliding down her face she got accustomed to over the long hours of the two days. Some sign that told her she was alive. That she could feel anything else but pain. But thats all she felt.
Ever so slowly, her mind and body shut down and she drifted off into unconsciousness.
And thats how Cordelia and Anya found her a few hours later. Buffy had forgotten completely about work and the last shoot today. Cordelia and Anya walked into her apartment after getting a key to it, and walked into her bedroom to find her head leaning against the wall, and her hands and legs curled up around her. She was completely out of it.
" Buffy! Oh my God! Buffy!" Cordelia shouted as both of the ladies ran to her. Anya and Cordelia took in her appearence and grimaced.
She looked horrible. A complete wreck. There were tired circles around her eyes, and were red, indicating she hadn't gotten any sleep in a while. Her yoga pants and singlet top were all ruffled and creased, and her hair was a mess.
Both girls glanced at each other panicked, then began to shake Buffy gently.
" Buffy! Wake up!" Anya almost screamed, her voice trembling from the scare she gave her.
Buffys head moved slightly, and as she half opened her eyes she blinked a few times.
"Spike?" Buffy whispered as the girls shared another glance at each other and shook their heads.
"No, honey. Its Cordelia and Anya. Xander sent us to get you since you didn't show up for the shoot." Anya said.
Buffys eyes opened tiredly. Her features frowning. She shook her head slowly back and forth.
" No. I-I....can't." Buffy tired to project her voice as loud as she coul, but it came out in a whisper.
" Buffy what happened to you? You look awful." Cordelia asked. Buffy glanced down at her clothes.
" I can't Cordy. Please.... just leave. I need to be alone." Bufy said faintly.
" The hell you do! Listen missy, we don't know what happened but you better have a darn good explanation for this! Now, come on! Were going to get you ready for work!" Anya said as her and Cordy grabbed her limp arms and lifted her up.
" No." Buffy protested, but was too weak.
" Have you eaten anything at all today? You look so thin!" Cordy yelled as they dragged her into the bathroom.
" Now, you take a shower and we'll lay out your clothes and have a nice breakfast set up for you when you get out. " Anya said as they turned on the water to the shower, and headed out of the room.
Buffy sighed and realised they were right. She needed to get better and stop mopping around, causing harm to herself. 'Perhaps a shower might help....' Buffy thought as she shedded her clothes and stood under the warm spray.
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An hour later, Anya and Cordelia had fed Buffy, got her dressed and were now arriving at the shoot for the day. The scenery was a cemetary, and Buffy didn't even bother to ask why they were there. She was far too tired.
" We're here. Come on Buffy." Cordy said as she dragged her out of the limo. Buffy gazed around at the cemetary.
It was very large, and ther were lush green willow trees surrounding the area. There was a gust of wind that blew, and her golden locks swayed in the wind as she saw a dark figure walking along in the distance. She took in a sharp breath of air as she continued to watch him.
Spike.
It had seemed like forever until she last saw him, and wasn't sure she was ready to face him yet. Or ever again. She saw him turn around and look at her, stopping in his tracks. He came running over and when he was only a mere feet away, Buffy found out her legs could work.
'Need to get out of here. Need to get away from him.' She thought.
"Buffy! Pet, I've been trying to-" She could hear Spike yelling as he was only a few feet away now. She ran past him, causing him to turn and look at her retreating form. "What the bloody...."
Anya came up and put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn to her swiftly.
" Don't mind her, Spike.Cordy and I found her in her apartment. Passed out on the floor, a complete wreck!" Anya said, shaking her head. Spike turned his head, watching her as she slowed her pace.
" I-Is she....okay?" Spike asked, hoping he sounded cool and calm about it when he tried to mask his concern. His stomache was doing flips and it felt like he was going to break down once he saw her get out of the limo.
He saw her silky hair wave in the wind and his breath hitched in his throat. His mind completely forgot about everything he did momentarily to her. And all he was thinking was ' I have to see her. I have to see if shes okay. Have to talk to her....hear her voice. Going crazy not hearing her voice.' Spike thought. But then she ran away as fast as she could and reality came washing over him, and smacking him hard on the head.
" I don't know. Looked like she hasn't been eating or sleeping. Poor thing. What could of happened to do that to her?" Anya asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. He frowned.
'Me.' He held back his answer, slowly shrugging and walking off.
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All throughout the shoot Buffy hadn't given one smile, she didn't even look at him. Not one glance. Even when they were shooting, kissing and touching, she felt distant. Like a part of her wasn't there, and as if she didn't want to be there. Didn't want to be with him.
Spike groaned and rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. 'Cor she doesn't want to be with you, mate. You soddin broke her heart. Told her off. If I was her I would do the exact bloody thing to me.' Spike thought and suddenly fealt his chest tightening.
As soon as Xander had called it quits for the day, Buffy jumped off of Spike and was about to turn away when he spoke up.
"Nice work, luv." Spike tried and suppressed a smile. She stared at him blankly She just shrugged lightly.
"Guess so." Buffy stated. 'Need to get away from him.' She tried to turn away again, but he grabbed her hand and forced her to turn to him.
" I think we need to talk." Spike said softly.
"Then don't think."Was her snide comment. He tightened his grip on her arm, pained by her words.
" Buffy! Would you stop being like this." Spike said.
" Let go of my arm." Buffy replied in a hurt whisper, looking into his eyes. Realisation seemed to flash in his mind as he looked down to his hand, still holding her arm tightly. He grew an apologetic look and dropped her hand immediately.
"Sorry." He stated shamefully, looking at her face. "Did I hurt you?"
" Yes." Buffy replied as he looked down again and went to take her hand warmly, but she pulled her hand back. "I wasn't talking about my arm."
Spike looked at her and felt a strong pang in his chest again. He shut his eyes tightly, hearing her words. His jaw muscles clenched and unclenched.
'Don't say anything. Don't look at her. She should be mad at you. She should make you feel this way. After what I did.' He kept reminding himself. His eyes fluttered open and noticed the empty spot that was before his eyes. She left.
"Alright everybody! Go home, get ready! The party is in two hours! We'll all meet back at the building, and take the hall down." Xander instructed as everyone nodded and started to disappear.
Spike looked around frantically, trying to spot Buffy, but couldn't see her. With one long heavy sigh, he gave up and headed off. Digging into his dusters for his cigarrettes.
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Two hours approached rapidly and now everyone was gathered in the lobby socializing and chit chatting about the shoot and its success. Everyone was there, except one person.
Buffy.
Spike had gotten dressed in a suit, as he was informed it was a formal last gathering. Ever since he arrived he started searching in the crowd with his eyes to find her. But she hadn't shown up yet. He would of seen her already.
She could be in a crowd of a thousand people and he would spot her. He could always see her. Her scent, her golden hair, her green eyes, her immaculent beauty and compassion. Yep, he would of seen her already.
Long minutes passed by and Spike was growing more worried with every passing second. His eyes kept scanning the crowd for her.....but no sign. He grabbed Cordy's arm and turned her around to him.
"Where is she?" Spike asked impatiently. Concern riding in his voice.
" Uh... B-Buffy?" Cordelia asked.
" Yes. Where is she?" He repeated again. She winced at the strongness in his arm.
" I-I don't know. She said she was coming." Cordelia stuttered nervously. He growled and let go of her.
" Shes bloody 45 minutes late!" Spike groaned to himself. Cordelia shrugged and walked off towards Anya.
" Relax, man. She'll be here." A male voice from behind him came. He whipped around to meet Xander's grin.
" I don't know, mate. She seemed....... distant today." Spike sighed. Xander patted his back.
" I noticed." Xander said giving him a stern look. Spike raised his eyebrows for him to continue. "I just don't get you two is all. One minute your ready to rip each others heads off, the next your all lovey-dovey-"
"We were not 'lovey-dovey!' " Spike tried to protest.
" Listen, I don't know what happened with you two.... but she seemed pretty depressed today. Shes a nice girl, and I don't want to see her hurt." Xander said.
" Thats the last thing I want." Spike heaved, then turned toward Xander suddenly realised what he said. "Wait...how did you know that we...?"
" Trust me, I know all the heated signs. Smiling at each other, you grinning like an idiot lately. Buffy blushing around you, and the love scenes were way too hot." Xander drew out. Spike nodded. Then, Xander added, "Not to mention I saw you kissing in the hall the other day......"
Spike chuckled. 'Busted.' He thought. His grin suddenly broke out into a frown. There was a long silence between the two.
" I messed up big time, mate." Spike said with a sigh.
" Well, its nothing you probably can't fix." Xander shrugged.
'If he only knew.' Spike thought.
"Speaking of.....look at the babe in the golden dress." Xander said as he nudged Spike to look.
Spike glanced at the doorway, and what he saw took his breath away and he swore his heart skipped a beat. Buffy just entered in the room. Her long, silk golden dress hung on her perfectly, accentuating her curves and slender body. Her tan skin and golden hair matched the color of her dress. Her hair was pulled back in a low bun at the back of her soft neck, while a few strands hung by her beautiful face. Her green eyes seemed to shimmer out in the crowd, but they looked like they held a certain sadness to them.
He watched as Anya and Cordelia walked over to her and she began chatting and mingling with the people located in the room. As she began to move, Spikes heart started to slam against his rib cage with powerful thuds, and his palms turned sweaty.
'God, shes beautiful.' Spike thought, never taking his eyes off hers.
Xander shook his head slowly and walked away, leaving the bleached man in awe.
Buffys eyes accidentally landed on his and held them for a moment before a sad smile took over her elegant features and she looked away, distracting her attention on a passing guest.
Spike frowned and shuffled his feet in the carpet, before walking off to a couple of people in the corner of the room.
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When Buffy saw Spike, her mind shut down and went on overload at the same time. He made her shiver and tingle and want to cry at the same time, from just staring at her. His weak soft smile sent flashes in her mind of him grinning at her, smiling, and doing that cocky smirk of his. She looked away from him, holding back the tears shimmering in her eyes, blinking them away.
He looked so good. So handsome, strong, and sexy in that suit. Cordelia and Anya's words drained out of her mind while she tried to distract herself from looking at him again.
'Why had I come at all?! Why couldn't I of just stayed home, like I planned to do?!' Buffy mentally cursed herself.
"Will you excuse me?" Buffy asked as the woman nodded, and Buffy walked off, grabbing a glass of wine from a passing waiter.
She sipped at the thick liquid burning her throat as it went down. She had drunk it down in one long gulp. She walked out into the hall and noticed a few of the blown up pictures from past shoots. They must of done it for the party.
She stayed still in her spot for a moment, closing her eyes and trying to remember the delicious memory that was infront of her. A warm hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her trance. The figure came beside her, glancing at the photo.
" S' nice. Guess we work well together, luv." Spike said. She gave him a sideways glance and then kept her eyes on the picture.
"Yeah." She replied weakly. Spike turned, and in one swift movement was infront of her.
" You look beautiful tonight." Spike spoke softly. She closed her eyes for a second, draining his voice in.
'No! No! Need to walk away. Can't be here, with him. Can't hear his voice. Not while hes saying this....' She made a dash to move, but he turned her around to him.
" Don't run from me, please." His plea came out desperate. She winced at the tenderness in his voice. But it soon replaced with anger.
" Me?! You're the one whos running from me!" Buffy hissed in a bitter whisper. "You say you believe in love, but then when its given to you, you run! I don't know what your problem is.... but I'm damn sick of caring!"
" Then don't." He replied just as cruelly. Her hand come up instantly, smacking him across the cheek, leaving a light red mark.
" I wouldn't if I didn't love you so damn much!" Buffy shut her eyes briefly calming her tone. "I don't want to feel like this."
His anger immediately melted away, the pain on his face momentarily forgotten at her vunerable and weak voice.
"Buffy-"
" Make it stop." She interrupted in a plea. A tear sliding down her face.
" Wha'?" Spike asked confused.
" Make the hurting stop." She almost begged, her voice becoming in pants. " Make the pain stop, Spike. Please. It feels like I can't breathe..." She sobbed. " It hurts so much...." She said breaking out in crying.
Spike stood frozen infront of her, watching her almost cry to the ground. His mind went blank, and he panted for air desperately. It was killing him, seeing her like this. Seeing her hurt.....cry. He wanted to hold her, wrap his arms around her, soothe her. But couldn't. Just stared down at her with wide sad eyes.
She managed to gain her composure and look up at him. He suddenly found his voice.
" I can't make it stop." He said shaking his head. New confidence rose in her as she stood. Her eyes cold as steel.
" Why not? You made it start." Buffy said shakily.
" I know."
" No! You don't know!" Buffy yelled.
" I don't want us to end this way, Buffy." Spike said.
" You can't always get what you want." Buffy said.
"I-"
" Everyone gather in the dining area! The food is about to be served!" Xander yelled, disrupting this painful conversation.
Buffy thanked heaven for Xander. Wiping her eyes desperately, she walked off to the gathering people in the dining area.
Spike inhaled and exhaled deeply. Trying to get control. After a moment, he strode towards the others.
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"Now everyone, settle down, settle down." Xander's voice shouted to all the people seated around the table. It was soon quiet, complete attention to him. "Now I would like to present a toast." He said gripping his glass and raising it, along with everyone else. " To a successful job well done, and a wonderful time doing it!" Xander shouted with a smile.
Everyone raised their glasses, and tapped them together in the center of the long table.
"Here here!" Some people shouted.
" I would most like to thank Buffy and Spike for all their hard work, and having them be the hottest couple the world will see!" Xander joked as everyone took another swig of their wine and champaigne. " Now I believe Buffy would like to say some words...."
A dumbstruck Buffy turned red, shaking her head in surprise.
" I-I do?" She asked. Xander nodded, pleading her with his eyes.
" Yes you would." Xander said winking.
"Right....yeah, I would." Buffy lied as she stood up with her glass.
She glanced around the table, everyone fell silent and all eyes were on her. She took a big gulp in her throat before speaking.
" I...uh... would like to say thank you to Xander for being an awesome director, and taking it easy on us. To Anya who helped along with the more....physical attributes and being a good friend to me. Cordelia, for designing the fabulous clothes and being there. Andrew, for making one heck of a moca with cream." She stared at the blonde head smiling at him.
" And to Spike." She dreaded this part, but knew she had to. " You and I had our problems at first to say the least, but as we got to know each other more, I found a cool person beyond all that leather," A small chuckle escaped everyones lips, " And you turned out to be a really good friend and I'm going to miss you so much. And I know this is probably the last time we see each other..." Buffy's voice cracked a little at the last part.
Everyone around thought she was being polite and platonic, but the only people without a smile on was him. He knew she wasn't lying and she meant it in a different way.
"I'm sorry....I have to..." Buffy cleared her throat, trying to gain back some confidence and strength.
'Come on, Buffy. Don't cry. Don't get like that.' She inwardly prayed to herself.
Without another word, Buffy ran out of the room and straight for the doors.
Everyone fell silent, glancing at one another, wondering why the blonde had rushed out like that. Spike looked down at his lap.
"I'll go see if shes okay." Cordelia said getting up, Spikes arm pulled her back down.
" No. I will." He said as Anya and Xander looked at him. Xander just smiled and nodded. He stood up.
" Go get her, man." He heard Xander whisper while exiting the room.
He glanced around at the halls looking desperately around for her. He ran straight to the doors, pearing out the glass but seeing no one.
With a sigh, he ran out the door to go back to his apartment.
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" Buffy! Open the soddin door!" She heard Spike yell from out in the hall. She thanked whatever sense she had left in he that she remembered to lock the door behind her.
She groaned and shouted back. "No!"
'God, why doesn't he just give up already?! Hes been out there for ten minutes!' Not answering him the first five minutes, you think he would of gotten the hint. But he kept banging, knowing she was in there. He was going to wake all her neighbors on the same floor if she didn't answer. That or get someone to open the door, but she couldn't see him, so she just kept yelling muffled 'no's and 'go away.'
" I'm not leaving until we bloody talk!" His aggrevated voice shouted.
" We're talking. Now go away!" Buffy screamed to the door.
She heard him bang once, twice, and three times. Cursing and muttering something under her breath, she made her way to the door.
" For the last time! Leave me-" Buffy said swinging the door open to reveal an empty hall. "Alone." She whispered with a frown. He left.
She shut the door firmly, heading off to bed. She stopped in her tracks when she realised something.
The shoot was now completely over. Finished. Her work was done, and there was nothing....or no one to keep her here in New York. She had to go back home. That meant she wouldn't see Spike any more. Tonight was the last time. The.very.last.time.
That thought pained her in her chest deeply. Would he go before her? Would they ever see each other again? Should she leave first? She weighed her options.
Yep, not a thing to keep her here.
With a silent decision made, she walked back in her bedroom, pulling out her suitcase and bag.
By this time tomorrow..... she would be home. In her house. Alone.
Good bye New York.
And most importantly......
Good bye Spike.
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TBC....
A/N: Sorry for the wait! Hope ya liked the chapter. Tried my best at the heart-ache angst thing. Hope it didn't suck. Might help if you were listening to a slow or sad song. Anyway, only 2 more chapters left. I think. Spuffy is coming soon! Don't worry!
Thanks to SpoilerBabe for the cemetary thing. She requested it twice, so I put it in. Thanks!
Please Review!!
A/N: Hey. Heres the next chapter! Hope ya like. Thanks for all the reviews!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns all.
Rating: Pg13
Summary: Buffy Summers- an upcoming model in the business is hired to do an intimate photo shoot with Spike Johnson, the hottest thing in music. They will be king and queen of the year....but does hatred and desire turn them into the couple of the year? B/S
___________________
It had been two days since that night when Spike had broken her heart. He wished he could talk to her and try and explain. He tried calling her, but she unplugged her phone from the wall since he kept getting a busy signal. He even tried knocking at her door, but she wouldn't answer. He decided it was best to give her time alone, and so he had backed off and gave her the space she needed.
But Buffy didn't need space. She needed him. She couldn't sleep for the past two days, or even eat. She felt weak, like she couldn't move. She tried to drown her surrows in a bottle of vodka last night, but only ended up smashing it against the wall in a fury of anger. Now she sat on her floor in the corner of the room, staring blankly at her surroundings.
Buffy felt dizzy and sick. Sitting there, sprawled in a small position, staring at the wall. She brang her knees in to her more. She shut her eyes tightly feeling a sharp pain in her head suddenly. But when she closed her eyes all she saw was Spike's face smiling at her. She didn't want to open her eyes, she wanted to keep seeing his face in her head. Slowly, his features disappeared from her memory and she cried out.
"No! No, Spike. Don't leave, I need you." Buffy sobbed, burrying her face in her hands. "Please don't leave me." She whispered as she tried desperately to cry.
She needed to cry, needed to feel something. Needed to feel the stinging tears sliding down her face she got accustomed to over the long hours of the two days. Some sign that told her she was alive. That she could feel anything else but pain. But thats all she felt.
Ever so slowly, her mind and body shut down and she drifted off into unconsciousness.
And thats how Cordelia and Anya found her a few hours later. Buffy had forgotten completely about work and the last shoot today. Cordelia and Anya walked into her apartment after getting a key to it, and walked into her bedroom to find her head leaning against the wall, and her hands and legs curled up around her. She was completely out of it.
" Buffy! Oh my God! Buffy!" Cordelia shouted as both of the ladies ran to her. Anya and Cordelia took in her appearence and grimaced.
She looked horrible. A complete wreck. There were tired circles around her eyes, and were red, indicating she hadn't gotten any sleep in a while. Her yoga pants and singlet top were all ruffled and creased, and her hair was a mess.
Both girls glanced at each other panicked, then began to shake Buffy gently.
" Buffy! Wake up!" Anya almost screamed, her voice trembling from the scare she gave her.
Buffys head moved slightly, and as she half opened her eyes she blinked a few times.
"Spike?" Buffy whispered as the girls shared another glance at each other and shook their heads.
"No, honey. Its Cordelia and Anya. Xander sent us to get you since you didn't show up for the shoot." Anya said.
Buffys eyes opened tiredly. Her features frowning. She shook her head slowly back and forth.
" No. I-I....can't." Buffy tired to project her voice as loud as she coul, but it came out in a whisper.
" Buffy what happened to you? You look awful." Cordelia asked. Buffy glanced down at her clothes.
" I can't Cordy. Please.... just leave. I need to be alone." Bufy said faintly.
" The hell you do! Listen missy, we don't know what happened but you better have a darn good explanation for this! Now, come on! Were going to get you ready for work!" Anya said as her and Cordy grabbed her limp arms and lifted her up.
" No." Buffy protested, but was too weak.
" Have you eaten anything at all today? You look so thin!" Cordy yelled as they dragged her into the bathroom.
" Now, you take a shower and we'll lay out your clothes and have a nice breakfast set up for you when you get out. " Anya said as they turned on the water to the shower, and headed out of the room.
Buffy sighed and realised they were right. She needed to get better and stop mopping around, causing harm to herself. 'Perhaps a shower might help....' Buffy thought as she shedded her clothes and stood under the warm spray.
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An hour later, Anya and Cordelia had fed Buffy, got her dressed and were now arriving at the shoot for the day. The scenery was a cemetary, and Buffy didn't even bother to ask why they were there. She was far too tired.
" We're here. Come on Buffy." Cordy said as she dragged her out of the limo. Buffy gazed around at the cemetary.
It was very large, and ther were lush green willow trees surrounding the area. There was a gust of wind that blew, and her golden locks swayed in the wind as she saw a dark figure walking along in the distance. She took in a sharp breath of air as she continued to watch him.
Spike.
It had seemed like forever until she last saw him, and wasn't sure she was ready to face him yet. Or ever again. She saw him turn around and look at her, stopping in his tracks. He came running over and when he was only a mere feet away, Buffy found out her legs could work.
'Need to get out of here. Need to get away from him.' She thought.
"Buffy! Pet, I've been trying to-" She could hear Spike yelling as he was only a few feet away now. She ran past him, causing him to turn and look at her retreating form. "What the bloody...."
Anya came up and put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn to her swiftly.
" Don't mind her, Spike.Cordy and I found her in her apartment. Passed out on the floor, a complete wreck!" Anya said, shaking her head. Spike turned his head, watching her as she slowed her pace.
" I-Is she....okay?" Spike asked, hoping he sounded cool and calm about it when he tried to mask his concern. His stomache was doing flips and it felt like he was going to break down once he saw her get out of the limo.
He saw her silky hair wave in the wind and his breath hitched in his throat. His mind completely forgot about everything he did momentarily to her. And all he was thinking was ' I have to see her. I have to see if shes okay. Have to talk to her....hear her voice. Going crazy not hearing her voice.' Spike thought. But then she ran away as fast as she could and reality came washing over him, and smacking him hard on the head.
" I don't know. Looked like she hasn't been eating or sleeping. Poor thing. What could of happened to do that to her?" Anya asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. He frowned.
'Me.' He held back his answer, slowly shrugging and walking off.
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All throughout the shoot Buffy hadn't given one smile, she didn't even look at him. Not one glance. Even when they were shooting, kissing and touching, she felt distant. Like a part of her wasn't there, and as if she didn't want to be there. Didn't want to be with him.
Spike groaned and rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. 'Cor she doesn't want to be with you, mate. You soddin broke her heart. Told her off. If I was her I would do the exact bloody thing to me.' Spike thought and suddenly fealt his chest tightening.
As soon as Xander had called it quits for the day, Buffy jumped off of Spike and was about to turn away when he spoke up.
"Nice work, luv." Spike tried and suppressed a smile. She stared at him blankly She just shrugged lightly.
"Guess so." Buffy stated. 'Need to get away from him.' She tried to turn away again, but he grabbed her hand and forced her to turn to him.
" I think we need to talk." Spike said softly.
"Then don't think."Was her snide comment. He tightened his grip on her arm, pained by her words.
" Buffy! Would you stop being like this." Spike said.
" Let go of my arm." Buffy replied in a hurt whisper, looking into his eyes. Realisation seemed to flash in his mind as he looked down to his hand, still holding her arm tightly. He grew an apologetic look and dropped her hand immediately.
"Sorry." He stated shamefully, looking at her face. "Did I hurt you?"
" Yes." Buffy replied as he looked down again and went to take her hand warmly, but she pulled her hand back. "I wasn't talking about my arm."
Spike looked at her and felt a strong pang in his chest again. He shut his eyes tightly, hearing her words. His jaw muscles clenched and unclenched.
'Don't say anything. Don't look at her. She should be mad at you. She should make you feel this way. After what I did.' He kept reminding himself. His eyes fluttered open and noticed the empty spot that was before his eyes. She left.
"Alright everybody! Go home, get ready! The party is in two hours! We'll all meet back at the building, and take the hall down." Xander instructed as everyone nodded and started to disappear.
Spike looked around frantically, trying to spot Buffy, but couldn't see her. With one long heavy sigh, he gave up and headed off. Digging into his dusters for his cigarrettes.
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Two hours approached rapidly and now everyone was gathered in the lobby socializing and chit chatting about the shoot and its success. Everyone was there, except one person.
Buffy.
Spike had gotten dressed in a suit, as he was informed it was a formal last gathering. Ever since he arrived he started searching in the crowd with his eyes to find her. But she hadn't shown up yet. He would of seen her already.
She could be in a crowd of a thousand people and he would spot her. He could always see her. Her scent, her golden hair, her green eyes, her immaculent beauty and compassion. Yep, he would of seen her already.
Long minutes passed by and Spike was growing more worried with every passing second. His eyes kept scanning the crowd for her.....but no sign. He grabbed Cordy's arm and turned her around to him.
"Where is she?" Spike asked impatiently. Concern riding in his voice.
" Uh... B-Buffy?" Cordelia asked.
" Yes. Where is she?" He repeated again. She winced at the strongness in his arm.
" I-I don't know. She said she was coming." Cordelia stuttered nervously. He growled and let go of her.
" Shes bloody 45 minutes late!" Spike groaned to himself. Cordelia shrugged and walked off towards Anya.
" Relax, man. She'll be here." A male voice from behind him came. He whipped around to meet Xander's grin.
" I don't know, mate. She seemed....... distant today." Spike sighed. Xander patted his back.
" I noticed." Xander said giving him a stern look. Spike raised his eyebrows for him to continue. "I just don't get you two is all. One minute your ready to rip each others heads off, the next your all lovey-dovey-"
"We were not 'lovey-dovey!' " Spike tried to protest.
" Listen, I don't know what happened with you two.... but she seemed pretty depressed today. Shes a nice girl, and I don't want to see her hurt." Xander said.
" Thats the last thing I want." Spike heaved, then turned toward Xander suddenly realised what he said. "Wait...how did you know that we...?"
" Trust me, I know all the heated signs. Smiling at each other, you grinning like an idiot lately. Buffy blushing around you, and the love scenes were way too hot." Xander drew out. Spike nodded. Then, Xander added, "Not to mention I saw you kissing in the hall the other day......"
Spike chuckled. 'Busted.' He thought. His grin suddenly broke out into a frown. There was a long silence between the two.
" I messed up big time, mate." Spike said with a sigh.
" Well, its nothing you probably can't fix." Xander shrugged.
'If he only knew.' Spike thought.
"Speaking of.....look at the babe in the golden dress." Xander said as he nudged Spike to look.
Spike glanced at the doorway, and what he saw took his breath away and he swore his heart skipped a beat. Buffy just entered in the room. Her long, silk golden dress hung on her perfectly, accentuating her curves and slender body. Her tan skin and golden hair matched the color of her dress. Her hair was pulled back in a low bun at the back of her soft neck, while a few strands hung by her beautiful face. Her green eyes seemed to shimmer out in the crowd, but they looked like they held a certain sadness to them.
He watched as Anya and Cordelia walked over to her and she began chatting and mingling with the people located in the room. As she began to move, Spikes heart started to slam against his rib cage with powerful thuds, and his palms turned sweaty.
'God, shes beautiful.' Spike thought, never taking his eyes off hers.
Xander shook his head slowly and walked away, leaving the bleached man in awe.
Buffys eyes accidentally landed on his and held them for a moment before a sad smile took over her elegant features and she looked away, distracting her attention on a passing guest.
Spike frowned and shuffled his feet in the carpet, before walking off to a couple of people in the corner of the room.
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When Buffy saw Spike, her mind shut down and went on overload at the same time. He made her shiver and tingle and want to cry at the same time, from just staring at her. His weak soft smile sent flashes in her mind of him grinning at her, smiling, and doing that cocky smirk of his. She looked away from him, holding back the tears shimmering in her eyes, blinking them away.
He looked so good. So handsome, strong, and sexy in that suit. Cordelia and Anya's words drained out of her mind while she tried to distract herself from looking at him again.
'Why had I come at all?! Why couldn't I of just stayed home, like I planned to do?!' Buffy mentally cursed herself.
"Will you excuse me?" Buffy asked as the woman nodded, and Buffy walked off, grabbing a glass of wine from a passing waiter.
She sipped at the thick liquid burning her throat as it went down. She had drunk it down in one long gulp. She walked out into the hall and noticed a few of the blown up pictures from past shoots. They must of done it for the party.
She stayed still in her spot for a moment, closing her eyes and trying to remember the delicious memory that was infront of her. A warm hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her trance. The figure came beside her, glancing at the photo.
" S' nice. Guess we work well together, luv." Spike said. She gave him a sideways glance and then kept her eyes on the picture.
"Yeah." She replied weakly. Spike turned, and in one swift movement was infront of her.
" You look beautiful tonight." Spike spoke softly. She closed her eyes for a second, draining his voice in.
'No! No! Need to walk away. Can't be here, with him. Can't hear his voice. Not while hes saying this....' She made a dash to move, but he turned her around to him.
" Don't run from me, please." His plea came out desperate. She winced at the tenderness in his voice. But it soon replaced with anger.
" Me?! You're the one whos running from me!" Buffy hissed in a bitter whisper. "You say you believe in love, but then when its given to you, you run! I don't know what your problem is.... but I'm damn sick of caring!"
" Then don't." He replied just as cruelly. Her hand come up instantly, smacking him across the cheek, leaving a light red mark.
" I wouldn't if I didn't love you so damn much!" Buffy shut her eyes briefly calming her tone. "I don't want to feel like this."
His anger immediately melted away, the pain on his face momentarily forgotten at her vunerable and weak voice.
"Buffy-"
" Make it stop." She interrupted in a plea. A tear sliding down her face.
" Wha'?" Spike asked confused.
" Make the hurting stop." She almost begged, her voice becoming in pants. " Make the pain stop, Spike. Please. It feels like I can't breathe..." She sobbed. " It hurts so much...." She said breaking out in crying.
Spike stood frozen infront of her, watching her almost cry to the ground. His mind went blank, and he panted for air desperately. It was killing him, seeing her like this. Seeing her hurt.....cry. He wanted to hold her, wrap his arms around her, soothe her. But couldn't. Just stared down at her with wide sad eyes.
She managed to gain her composure and look up at him. He suddenly found his voice.
" I can't make it stop." He said shaking his head. New confidence rose in her as she stood. Her eyes cold as steel.
" Why not? You made it start." Buffy said shakily.
" I know."
" No! You don't know!" Buffy yelled.
" I don't want us to end this way, Buffy." Spike said.
" You can't always get what you want." Buffy said.
"I-"
" Everyone gather in the dining area! The food is about to be served!" Xander yelled, disrupting this painful conversation.
Buffy thanked heaven for Xander. Wiping her eyes desperately, she walked off to the gathering people in the dining area.
Spike inhaled and exhaled deeply. Trying to get control. After a moment, he strode towards the others.
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"Now everyone, settle down, settle down." Xander's voice shouted to all the people seated around the table. It was soon quiet, complete attention to him. "Now I would like to present a toast." He said gripping his glass and raising it, along with everyone else. " To a successful job well done, and a wonderful time doing it!" Xander shouted with a smile.
Everyone raised their glasses, and tapped them together in the center of the long table.
"Here here!" Some people shouted.
" I would most like to thank Buffy and Spike for all their hard work, and having them be the hottest couple the world will see!" Xander joked as everyone took another swig of their wine and champaigne. " Now I believe Buffy would like to say some words...."
A dumbstruck Buffy turned red, shaking her head in surprise.
" I-I do?" She asked. Xander nodded, pleading her with his eyes.
" Yes you would." Xander said winking.
"Right....yeah, I would." Buffy lied as she stood up with her glass.
She glanced around the table, everyone fell silent and all eyes were on her. She took a big gulp in her throat before speaking.
" I...uh... would like to say thank you to Xander for being an awesome director, and taking it easy on us. To Anya who helped along with the more....physical attributes and being a good friend to me. Cordelia, for designing the fabulous clothes and being there. Andrew, for making one heck of a moca with cream." She stared at the blonde head smiling at him.
" And to Spike." She dreaded this part, but knew she had to. " You and I had our problems at first to say the least, but as we got to know each other more, I found a cool person beyond all that leather," A small chuckle escaped everyones lips, " And you turned out to be a really good friend and I'm going to miss you so much. And I know this is probably the last time we see each other..." Buffy's voice cracked a little at the last part.
Everyone around thought she was being polite and platonic, but the only people without a smile on was him. He knew she wasn't lying and she meant it in a different way.
"I'm sorry....I have to..." Buffy cleared her throat, trying to gain back some confidence and strength.
'Come on, Buffy. Don't cry. Don't get like that.' She inwardly prayed to herself.
Without another word, Buffy ran out of the room and straight for the doors.
Everyone fell silent, glancing at one another, wondering why the blonde had rushed out like that. Spike looked down at his lap.
"I'll go see if shes okay." Cordelia said getting up, Spikes arm pulled her back down.
" No. I will." He said as Anya and Xander looked at him. Xander just smiled and nodded. He stood up.
" Go get her, man." He heard Xander whisper while exiting the room.
He glanced around at the halls looking desperately around for her. He ran straight to the doors, pearing out the glass but seeing no one.
With a sigh, he ran out the door to go back to his apartment.
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" Buffy! Open the soddin door!" She heard Spike yell from out in the hall. She thanked whatever sense she had left in he that she remembered to lock the door behind her.
She groaned and shouted back. "No!"
'God, why doesn't he just give up already?! Hes been out there for ten minutes!' Not answering him the first five minutes, you think he would of gotten the hint. But he kept banging, knowing she was in there. He was going to wake all her neighbors on the same floor if she didn't answer. That or get someone to open the door, but she couldn't see him, so she just kept yelling muffled 'no's and 'go away.'
" I'm not leaving until we bloody talk!" His aggrevated voice shouted.
" We're talking. Now go away!" Buffy screamed to the door.
She heard him bang once, twice, and three times. Cursing and muttering something under her breath, she made her way to the door.
" For the last time! Leave me-" Buffy said swinging the door open to reveal an empty hall. "Alone." She whispered with a frown. He left.
She shut the door firmly, heading off to bed. She stopped in her tracks when she realised something.
The shoot was now completely over. Finished. Her work was done, and there was nothing....or no one to keep her here in New York. She had to go back home. That meant she wouldn't see Spike any more. Tonight was the last time. The.very.last.time.
That thought pained her in her chest deeply. Would he go before her? Would they ever see each other again? Should she leave first? She weighed her options.
Yep, not a thing to keep her here.
With a silent decision made, she walked back in her bedroom, pulling out her suitcase and bag.
By this time tomorrow..... she would be home. In her house. Alone.
Good bye New York.
And most importantly......
Good bye Spike.
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TBC....
A/N: Sorry for the wait! Hope ya liked the chapter. Tried my best at the heart-ache angst thing. Hope it didn't suck. Might help if you were listening to a slow or sad song. Anyway, only 2 more chapters left. I think. Spuffy is coming soon! Don't worry!
Thanks to SpoilerBabe for the cemetary thing. She requested it twice, so I put it in. Thanks!
Please Review!!