Chapter 13- Letters
Draco found himself writing to his godfather two days after he had confronted Harry out in the forest. They had not had many opportunities to be alone in that crazy house since then, but they both caught each other stealing glances every chance they got. He had to tell someone what he was feeling right now or he thought he might burst. How could he feel happy and scared senseless all at the same time? Snape was really the only person Draco could talk to without being judged. He had a lot of other things on his mind as well, and he took the opportunity to write his godfather and reveal what he was feeling.
Dear Severus,
Thank you for coming to check up on me here at the Burrow. You have no idea what it means to me that someone actually gives a damn about my well being. I don't think I would have made it those first couple of weeks without you. Oddly enough, I am enjoying my stay here with the Weasleys. They are really not a bad bunch once you get to know them and get past their blasted red hair. They are just a bid loud for my taste.
I am learning what it means to be Draco Malfoy away from my father. I still have difficulty saying what I genuinely mean to people in person, so I felt that this letter may offer me the tool I need to overcome some of my hang ups; one of those being expressing gratitude. I cannot begin to thank you enough for saving my life. Yes, you saved my life! If it were not for the portkey that you gave me last year, I would be no doubt with my father or possibly even dead. I dread to think about either of those possibilities. How did you know that I would need it? Did you know that I would turn away from my father and the Dark Lord? For the first time in my life I feel that I am free to make my own choices, and I have you to thank for that. I only hope that once day I can repay your kindness.
I had long suspected that you were a spy for Dumbledore, and I am relieved that I have someone to come to about my problems. I don't think I would have trusted anyone else with the information about what my father did to me. You made me feel safe at my darkest hour. Don't worry, I understand why you are unable to take me in right now. You are busy with the order and you can't compromise your position within the Dark Lord's followers. You are a good man no matter what anyone else says.
I do need to ask you for help once more though. Mrs. Weasley mentioned that we would be going to Diagon Alley at the end of this week in order to get our supplies for Hogwarts. I don't know what to do. I no longer have access to my father's fortune, and I am virtually penniless. I have a few coins in my trunk, but I would like to save them in case of an emergency. I have enough robes and things, but I have no way to purchase this year's textbooks. What should I do? The Weasleys can't even afford to buy for their own children so I can't possibly ask them for a loan. I am very worried about this manner so owl me as soon as you can to let me know what you think I should do.
One more thing I need to ask of you. Were you aware what happened to Harry Potter this summer? He is staying at the Burrow as well, and believe it or not we have gotten kind of close. I had misjudged Harry completely from the beginning. I always thought that he had the perfect home life and was treated like a golden child. I envied him and his fame for so long. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I have no idea how he managed to survive all those years in that hell hole. I am beginning to have feelings for him that I can no longer deny. I would like to pursue a relationship with him (you know, more than just being friends), and I am really scared. What will happen when we return to Hogwarts? If Harry agrees to be with me, do we keep our relationship a secret?
As you know, many of the slytherins have parents who are death eaters. They report everything that happens back to them so they can keep the Dark Lord informed, just as I used to. Am I putting Harry in danger just by being with him? I am so confused about everything right now. My world has completely turned upside down, and I can't make heads or tails of anything.
I know this much to be true, however; I care about Harry Potter a great deal and I will do everything in my power to keep him safe. I know that I have probably wasted a good deal of your time, but I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this. Please respond back at your earliest convenience. I am desperate for your advice.
Sincerely yours,
Draco Malfoy, your godson
Draco examined his neat scrawl. When he was satisfied with the contents of the letter, he carefully folded the parchment and went in search of Ron. He found the tall boy in his room writing a letter to Hermione.
"Hey Ron, do you think I can borrow Pig to send my godfather a letter?" he asked.
"Don't you mean Snape?"
"Yeah, it's kind of important and Errol is already out on a letter from your mother. Can I please use Pig?"
"I guess so. I was going to send this out to Hermione soon, but it can wait. Go right ahead."
Draco walked over to the hyperactive grey owl, which was bouncing up and down on his perch, and attached the parchment to his leg. It was no easy task.
"Take this to Professor Snape at Hogwarts please." The tiny owl buzzed around Draco's head a few times before flying out the window, narrowly missing the window sill.
"Did you just tell me owl please?" Ron said laughing at him. "Where is the nasty git that I knew and hated so well?"
"Shut it, Ron." Draco walked out of the room shaking his head trying not to smile.
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Nearly a day had passed, when Draco received the response from his godfather. Wishing to be alone, he placed the parchment in his pocket and went for a walk. It wasn't until he was seated on his favorite rock beside the creek that he pulled the letter out to read it.
Dear Draco,
I am glad to hear that you feel that you are learning what it is like to make your own choices away from the threat of your father and the Dark Lord. I am very proud of you. It takes a strong person to get past their upbringing and discover the truth for themselves. I hate to say this because I loathed the man while he was living, but you remind me somewhat of Sirius Black, Harry's deceased godfather. He too had to overcome what his parents were brainwashing him to believe and choose his own path in life. I wish I was able to do the same as quickly as he did. Maybe then I wouldn't have to forever carry the mark on my arm for my past mistakes. That is part of the reason why I hated him so much. You didn't know him, but I have been told that he was basically a good man. Although, I personally believe he was put on this Earth to make my life a living hell.
I am just sorry that I am unable to take you in right now. There is nothing I would like more than for you to come and live with me, but as you know the timing isn't right. I decided that I would take you in long ago if you chose to walk away from the dark side, but I couldn't very well tell you that for fear that you would report back to your father. I didn't know if you knew where your loyalties lied. That is why I gave you the portkey last year. I hoped that you would take advantage of the opportunity to save yourself.
Draco, you are the one who saved you. Not me. You made a very difficult decision and then took action. You should be proud of yourself. I am sure there are many more children of death eaters who would like to make the same decision, but lack the courage. I only hope that this war will be over before they are corrupted completely.
Do not worry about buying your supplies in Diagon Alley. I have already set up a small account for you at Gringott's that you may use to buy what you need. The goblins will assist you in retrieving the money from the new vault. It isn't nearly as much as you normally would have had with your father, but it should be enough to last you through your seventh year if you use the money wisely. Please don't feel like you need to repay me, though I suspect you probably do. It is the least I can do for my only godson.
As to your relationship with Harry, I am not entirely happy about it, but I can't say that I was surprised. I long suspected that given a chance, you two would become involved. I know you were hurt when he rejected your friendship in your first year. Sometimes, cruelty is a substitution for what you can't have. All these years you have spent bickering at one another was just a way for you to interact. Harry's parents, Lily and James, had a similar relationship. They fought for years until they finally figured out that they were drawn to one another for reasons other than fighting. Love and hate are powerfully passionate feelings. They are basically opposites of the same emotion. Ultimately, one emotion is easily replaced by the other under a given situation.
I feel that it is likely that you two have bonded because of your common experiences. And no, I had no idea that Harry was treated so poorly at home. Dumbledore informed me shortly after he arrived back from the Burrow. I had a feeling that something was wrong because of the memories that I saw during our occlumency lessons. Apparently he was blocking me from his mind all along; otherwise I would have known what else was going on. I just thought he wasn't trying hard enough. No wonder he was so exhausted after our lessons. I have never cared for the boy, but I hate to think that he has come to harm at the hands of those dreadful relatives of his.
Speaking of which, Remus Lupin went over to the Dursleys and gave them the scare of their life. He was quite angry when he learned that Vernon Dursley would not be sent to prison for what he did to Harry. That mild mannered man can be quite menacing when he wants to be. I won't go into the details, but I will say that Vernon did pay dearly. Remus performed a spell that allows someone to feel the pain they have caused another. It can be quite gruesome, and it frowned upon at the ministry. Unfortunately, the victim returns back to normal once the spell is lifted. Although, I suspect that his uncle may be a little loopy in the head now because of the extended length of time he was under the spell. Remus has been put on temporary probation for what he did. I think I am actually starting to like the man now. Dumbledore said that you may tell Harry when you feel the time is right.
I will support any decision you make in regards to your relationship with Harry. If you choose not to pursue a relationship you may regret it for the rest of your life. I speak from past experience, though I will not go into details. If you decide to be together, your life will be much more difficult here on out. Hiding your relationship will only make it difficult to see one another. Bringing it out into the open will risk the ridicule of your peers. Not everyone is as open to same sex partners. Follow your heart no matter what your head tells.
I will do what I can to control how the slytherins treat you, but I can't stop them from reporting back to their parents. The Dark Lord will probably discover your little secret. However, now that you are a way from your father, you have the protection of Hogwarts surrounding you. I don't believe that your relationship with Harry will bring him to anymore danger than he was before. Who knows? Together, you may be a powerful force in stopping the Dark Lord. Time will reveal all. I wish you well, my godson. I will see you soon.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape, Potions Master
Draco smiled as he folded the parchment and placed it back in his pocket. At least one person out there was on his side. He felt much better knowing that Severus would support him. And he was relieved that he would be actually able to purchase his supplies when they go to Diagon Alley.
He walked back to the Burrow in search of Harry. He felt like talking to him about what Severus had said. He only hoped that he would be as open to a relationship as Draco was. He found the dark haired boy playing an exciting game of chess with Ron in the living room. The chess pieces were not cooperating with Harry's commands and were beginning to bicker among themselves about what moves he should make next. Ron's pieces were like an organized military. Each one stood proud, confident in their leader's abilities. Apparently Ron was quite the strategist. Draco watched them play for a while, quite amused. He was not one for chess himself, but it was interesting to watch.
He didn't think the time was right to pull Harry away to talk about everything, so he went upstairs to his room instead. Sighing, he pulled out his transfiguration homework, and began to add his final thoughts to the given assignment. At least he could relax for the remainder of the summer now that all his homework was done.
That night, Draco dreamed about Harry again. They were flying across a field chasing one another on broomsticks as usual. This time, Draco was finally able to catch up to him. As they landed, he gently tackled Harry to the soft ground, giggling as they embraced. They tickled one another endlessly, rolling around in the tall grass. After a short while, the laughter died and Draco stared into Harry's emerald eyes. He began to stroke his messy locks and leaned forward into another kiss. Although he was dreaming, he knew that he had to have Harry in his life. It felt so right, like it was destiny or something. He wondered if Harry would ever feel the same way about him.
A/N: I am assuming that the owl carrying Draco's letter would not be intercepted, and therefore Snape's cover wouldn't be revealed.
A/N 2: I know that the spell that Remus used was cliché, but I rather like it myself. I have no idea which author originally came up with that idea, but it was rather clever.