Chapter 19- Pansy's Proposal

Draco had been confronted by the Slytherins about his new friendships several times, but each row ended only in verbal disputes. His new enemies had yet to even hex him, and mainly chose to talk about him behind his back.   Draco was thankful that his godfather had taken the liberty of switching his dorm room. It certainly made life a lot easier when he didn't have to be verbally assaulted each time he entered his room. Draco was just beginning to relax after his first two weeks of school when the inevitable finally happened.  He was returning to the slytherin dormitory after a late night study session with his new friends, when he was roughly grabbed from behind and shoved into an empty classroom.  He heard the heavy door slam behind him.

"Hey! What the…." Draco was completely disoriented. He dropped his bag of school books as he tried to figure out what had happened.

All the torches and candles that normally lit the classroom had been extinguished, and he found himself desperately searching in the darkness for his unseen attacker.  Fear gripped his chest tightly and he began to panic. Before he could reach for his wand, he felt two people grab him on either side preventing him from protecting himself. 

He heard shuffling across the room.  By the sounds of the movement, there were several people in here. They all must have used some night vision spell that allowed them to see in the dark classroom. Then he heard "Lumos," and one of the attackers lit the end of a wand to see him properly. In the dim yellow light that the wand cast, Draco saw that the two thugs holding him were none other than Crabbe and Goyle.  Standing in front him were four seventh year students and Pansy Parkinson.  He recognized each student to be among the crowd he used to hang around with. In other words, these were they slytherins that would follow their parents in serving the Dark Lord.

"Hello, Draco," said Pansy sweetly. She closely approached the blond boy and reached out to him, stroking his cheek with her fingers. "It's been a long time."

"Leave me alone, Pansy. What the hell do you want?" Draco asked angrily. He began to struggle against the two holding him, but he knew that his efforts were pointless.  He had manipulated these goons for so many years for a reason; they made excellent bodyguards.  Now his power over them had long since expired.

"We have a message for you from your father."  They all stepped a little closer to him in a threatening manner.  Draco looked at them wide eyed. My father? Does he know about my relationship with Harry?

"What are you talking about?" Draco looked around the room trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this situation.

"He is with the Dark Lord now and he is very displeased that you chose to betray the dark side.  Because of our efforts, he now knows that you have befriended Potter, the weasel, and the mudblood.  But you now have an opportunity to redeem yourself."  He glanced at the young girl before him, and was surprised to see that this band of death-eater-wanna-bes was following her orders.  She reminded him a lot of Bellatrix LeStrange, one of the Dark Lord's most faithful servants.

"What do you mean?"

"You can put yourself back in your father's good graces by spying on them for the Dark Lord.  Dumbledore is quite fond of Potter, and he may tell him something of the importance. You are in a position in which you can gather the information that we need in order to formulate when it would be the best time to attack," said Pansy.

"What are you going to do to Potter?" asked Draco hollowly. He swallowed painfully as he thought about the fate that might befall his beloved boyfriend. Maybe he could get enough information from them to somehow save him. He knew from his experience this summer that the death eaters were planning on attacking soon.

"Oh, I don't believe we should tell you anything until you promise to do what we ask," said Pansy.

"And what makes you think that I even want to do this.  I betrayed my father for a reason!  I never want to become a servant to that vile creature you call the Dark Lord. I would rather die!"

"And die you will if you don't do what we ask," said Damien, one of the seventh years.  Draco was getting really scared now.  How was he going to survive this one?

Pansy smiled at Draco, and began again, "You have a choice now Draco. Not many people in your position are ever allowed to redeem themselves.   Serve the Dark Lord or perish with those that oppose him. Choose wisely. Now, will you help us spy on Potter and his friends?"

"NO! NEVER!" Draco yelled.

"Then you will suffer the same fate as your friends. We will let you live for now, but you will rue the day that you turned down this offer.  Speak about this meeting to anyone and you and your new friends will come to incredible harm," she said icily.

Suddenly the light from the tip of her wand was extinguished and Draco found himself in total darkness again. 

"Proceed," he heard Pansy say. And with that the brutal beating began. Draco felt himself flung to floor, and mercilessly kicked and punched by his attackers.  He tried desperately to get away or defend himself, but his efforts were in vain. He was in too much pain to even risk grabbing his wand and hexing them all. He wasn't even sure when he passed out, but the unconscious darkness came with blessed relief.

He awoke sometime in the middle of the night in the hospital infirmary.  He was confused at first by his surroundings.  The light in the room seemed blinding after being in that oppressively dark classroom.

"Ah, I see you are awake finally. How are you feeling Mr. Malfoy?" asked Madame Pomfrey approaching his bed.

"Okay, I guess. How did I get here?"

"Professor Snape found you in the hallway. He went looking for you when your roommate informed him that you hadn't returned yet from your study session.  You were quite injured when you arrived.  I had to repair a broken arm, and the extensive cuts and bruising you sustained on your face and abdomen. I am assuming you were beaten by someone," she said firmly.

"Yeah, but I didn't see who did it," said Draco.  Well, that was partly true.  He was in the dark when he was beaten up.

"Very well then.  Should you remember anything else, please see your Professor Snape or Professor Dumbledore regarding this manner. I would hate to see you in here again." The nurse gave him a curious look as if she knew that he was holding back something, but she said nothing more about it.

"Okay.  Where is Professor Snape now?" he asked.  He knew that he needed to inform someone about what happened, but he felt that his godfather would be the only one that he could trust with this information.  He remembered the warning that his attackers gave him about telling anyone what happened. He did not want to see anyone come to harm because of him, especially not Harry.

"Well, he stayed with you for a couple of hours, but I had to kick him out so that he could get some rest. He was quite concerned about what happened, and I believe he has already informed the headmaster.  I suspect that Snape will want to speak with you right away."

"Alright," said Draco yawning loudly. He was feeling rather sleepy despite his long nap.

"Your body has already healed completely, but I would like you to stay the night for observation. You may leave in the morning.  Would you like a sleeping potion?"

"No thank you. I don't believe I will need it," said Draco yawning again. And before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

Madame Pomfrey woke Draco early the next day to check on his status. Seeing that he was well enough to return to his dormitory she dismissed him.  Draco dressed quickly, grabbed his school bag full of books, and made his way down the many hallways and staircases back to the Slytherin House. He hoped that he would be able to shower and change into some fresh clothes before anyone else had wakened.  He didn't want a repeat of what happened last night.

Thankfully, not many people were up at this early hour so he was not disturbed as he went about his morning routine. Upon looking in a mirror, Draco saw that the bruising he had incurred had indeed been healed by the school nurse.  There were only a few faint traces of the bruises on his face and abdomen, but he was sure that these would fade fairly quickly being that he still had the healing potions in his system.

He crossed the hallway and entered his dorm room to find a fresh pair of clothes.  Blaise heard him rustling about their room and raised his head groggily.

"Draco, is that you?" the black haired boy asked, his eyes squinting in the dimly lit room.

"Yeah, it's me. Go back to sleep, it's still pretty early," said Draco laughing at his friend.  Blaise looked pretty funny right now. He had a classic case of bed head because he didn't wear his hair in a pony tail at night.

"I was worried that something happened to you. I told Professor Snape last night that you were missing. I hope that you don't mind. Are you alright?" he asked his voice full of concern.

"I'm fine," said Draco coldly as he finished getting dressed. He cast his soiled clothing in the hamper. Can house elves get out blood stains?

"Something did happen, didn't it?" Blaise quickly got out of his warm bed and crossed the chilly room to see if he was okay.  He crossed his arms to keep warm and tried to ask him again, "What happened?"

Draco sighed and said, "Listen I can't give you any details, but I was threatened by some of the Slytherins because of my friendship with Harry."

"They beat you up didn't they?"

"…" Blaise took Draco's silence as confirmation.

"How awful! I am so sorry Draco. Maybe I should start escorting you to the library to study from now on. Hell, I could probably use a little help from Granger myself. What do you think?"

"I don't know Blaise, we'll see.  Thanks for worrying though. Listen, I will see you down at breakfast, okay?"

"Okay, as long as you are alright," said Blaise turning back to his warm bed.

"Yeah, see you later," said Draco. He grabbed his book bag and quickly left the slytherin dormitory.  Only a couple of students had seen him cross through the common room as he left. He went straight the Great Hall even though breakfast wouldn't be served for another hour or so. He sat quietly and read one of his textbooks as he waited.  He hoped that Severus or Harry would show up early so that he could talk to them. He needed someone to lean on right now because it felt as if his entire world was threatening to crash down upon him.

Sadly, both Harry and Severus had arrived to the Great Hall later than usual, and it would be impossible to speak to either one alone right now. Draco sighed deeply and concentrated on eating the bacon and eggs before him. He nodded at Blaise when he had finally showed up to their morning meal, but he didn't engage any conversation.  Blaise seemed to sense that Draco wasn't in the mood to talk right now and ate quietly beside him.  Breakfast was soon over, and they left the Great Hall to attend their classes.

He had double potions first thing that morning, which brightened Draco's spirits slightly. He had always enjoyed Potions the most of all his classes, probably because he always did well in the course. Potions was something that he naturally excelled in, and it certainly helped that his godfather and head of his house taught the course.  He loved the warmth that spread through the normally dank dungeons as he added the ingredients to his smoldering cauldron. The process of stirring and mixing ingredients always brought a sense of peace to Draco.

Last week he had almost dreaded going to his favorite class. Harry had expressed how nervous he was to go to potions this year. Last year Draco would have been delighted to see the apprehension on the boy's face as he entered the dungeon classroom, but now it only brought him pain. He had feared what his godfather may say or do to his beloved boyfriend. It was widely known that Snape had always treated him with mocking disdain, and he made no qualms about trying to publicly humiliate the living representation of the man that had treated him so cruelly in the past. Harry had told Draco about what had happened during the occlumency lessons last year. Although he didn't know what he specifically saw in Snape's pensieve, he knew enough to know that his godfather had been bullied by Harry's father and his three friends. Apparently the foursome had deemed themselves the Marauders and had caused an impressive amount of mischief at Hogwarts that rivaled only the Weasley twins' mayhem last year.

Thankfully, class had become much more bearable for his boyfriend now that Snape had lost his Harry-Potter-is-treated-like-a-golden-child attitude.  Somehow knowing how awful life had been for Harry softened his cold exterior. It was as if he regretted all the things he had ever said or done to Harry. In fact, it was Severus who first approached Harry and Dumbledore about teaching Harry occlumency again. Snape was no less mean to the Gryffindors, and he still took house points away at every opportunity. But he no longer belittled Harry in front of everyone.  It seemed that Snape was finally able to see Harry for who he was. A scared kid trying to do his very damn best, but kept getting knocked down in the process. 

As he entered the classroom, he saw Severus in the front of the classroom. His godfather nodded at him, and Draco nodded back. It was as if they had communicated telepathically that he was okay and that they would talk about what happened last night later.

"Hey guys, mind if I sit with you?" Draco asked his new friends once he had located them across the room.

"No problem," said Harry moving over and pushing Ron and Hermione out of the way. Draco had decided to sit with the trio because he enjoyed their company and the slytherins wouldn't want to be his partner anyway. Out of the corner of his eye he could see some of the slytherins talking him and laughing. Draco feared what they may be planning to do to him next.  Snape glared at their side of the room and the small group quickly hushed their conversation. Draco noticed that many of his classmates from last year were again in his class except Neville Longbottom. Poor Neville had all but failed his OWL exam for potions so he was not permitted to take the class, not that he would particularly want to. He had always done poorly in that subject. 

"Are you alright?" asked Harry sensing that something was bothering Draco.

"I'm fine…." Harry was giving him a knowing look, "alright…I am not exactly fine, but I will tell you about it later. Okay?"

Harry nodded at him, but his eyes still showed concern.  They both turned their attention towards the head of the room where their potions professor was slowly pacing back and forth across the room waiting for the precise moment when he may begin class. 

Upon hearing the bell, Snape began his lesson.  Today, they were going to learn about some basic healing potions.  Harry and Draco looked at one another curiously. It was as if this lesson had been specifically designed with the two of them in mind. They smiled at one another and got to work. Draco noticed that Harry was taking careful notes on everything that Snape was saying. Hermione smiled at their efforts appreciatively.  Ron looked irritated that they were trying so hard and resolved to allowing Hermione to do most of the work.

Severus was unable to meet with Draco that day to discuss what happened because he had to attend a meeting for the order. Their conversation would have to wait for another day.

Later that evening, well after dinner, Draco and Harry agreed to meet at the Room of Requirement. Draco had never been there before, but he knew a little about it from Harry's descriptions of the DA club he and Hermione organized last year.  Harry taught him how to find and open the room according to what he needed.  Apparently you had to think about what you needed in the room that would aid you and it would appear. Draco was somewhat skeptical, and was completely surprised when they finally entered the room.

It was one of the coziest rooms Draco had ever been in. There was a fire burning in the large fireplace across from the door. Two large couches flanked the fireplace on either side, and large fluffy pillows were scattered about the floor. 

The room was decorated in rich warm colors and had large floor to ceiling windows overlooking the lake.

"Wow," said Draco who looked thoroughly impressed.

"You should have seen the room when we used it for Dumbledore's Army. It was much larger and had an entire library filled with books that we would need to help defend ourselves."

Draco looked over at Harry and smiled. He grabbed his hand and let him over to one of the overstuffed couches.  Sitting back against the comfy couch, he pulled Harry down beside him. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and sighed deeply. He loved holding him like this, and he knew he was the only one that Harry trusted enough to touch him.  When they were together like this if felt like nothing in the world could ever harm them again.  Occasionally, Draco would kiss Harry on the top of his head and squeeze him tightly. They sat quietly like that for almost half an hour before Harry finally spoke.

"Draco, you said this morning that you would tell me what was bothering you later. Isn't now later?" he asked pulling away from Draco so that he could look into his eyes.

"Yeah, I know, but I am not sure I should say anything."

"Why? Are you all right?"

"I am now," said Draco bitterly as he remembered what occurred last night. It was a little to reminiscent of how his father used to punish him.  If Draco didn't know better, he would have sworn that Lucius had probably ordered his housemates to beat him.  No, they did that out of pure hatred.

"What do you mean? Were you hurt?"

Draco sighed again and began his tale.  Harry listened with bated breath, and hugged him fiercely when he finished his tale.

"I am so proud of you," Harry said quietly.

"What? Why?" Draco asked curiously.

"Because you were presented with an opportunity to rejoin your father, and you chose to follow your heart instead. You are incredibly brave, and I love you for that."

Draco smiled at him warmly. "Did you think I would give up something this wonderful?"

Harry looked away ashamed. "A small part of me always wondered."

"Harry, I love you. Nothing is going to changed that.  Besides, I turned my back on my father before I ever got a chance to really know you.  Now that I do, I feel foolish for wasting all those years we could have been together. I am glad that I no longer have a father, and I certainly don't want to go back to that life. Don't you trust me?"

"I do…it's just…that I have a hard time understanding why anyone could ever really love me."

"How can you say that? You have many people who love and care about you," said Draco taking Harry's small face in his hands.

"But I am a burden on everyone, and I only get people hurt. And don't say I don't because you know it's true."

"Oh, Harry…."  Draco leaned forward and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Do you think you will ever want to …t-touch me again…now that you know….know that I am used g-goods?" Harry asked. A tear trickled down his face as he asked Draco this painful question.

"Of course I will Harry. I think about you all the time, but we will wait until the time is right and you feel safe. I don't want to hurt you like I did that day ever again. I never meant to make you relive those awful memories. It's not your fault what happened to you," Draco said reassuringly.

Harry nodded numbly, and wiped the single tear away.


"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Draco.

"No, not right now. The memories are still fresh. Maybe someday though."

"I will be here for you whenever you are ready. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Draco."

"For what?"

"Loving me," said Harry as he leaned in for another kiss.  Their snogging session was brief, because Draco didn't want to move too fast with Harry. He was content upon holding him instead.

After a long while, Draco decided to ask Harry about how he was coping everything so far. He hated doing it, but he was concerned about the poor boy's welfare.

"Harry, may I see your arms?" he asked.

"Why?"

"You know why," said Draco firmly.

Harry scowled at him as he pushed up his sleeves. Draco was relieved to see that he had not cut himself again. "Are you happy now?" said Harry bitterly.

"Listen, don't be that way. I just want to make sure that you are okay."

"I know you don't seem to think I can handle anything. You are just like everyone else, always coddling me like I am a child. Why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt?"

"Because you lied to me before," said Draco raising his eyebrows at the dark haired boy.

"Alright, you got me there, but I didn't do anything, Okay? I thought about it a thousand times, but I didn't cut."

"When do you think about it?" asked Draco concerned.

"Mostly when I have had a nightmare."

"What are your nightmares about?"

"Oh, you know, the run of the mill nightmares: seeing Cedric die in the graveyard, watching Sirius fall through the veil, and oohhh…my favorite.... reliving the abuse from my uncle," said Harry sarcastically and darkly.

"I'm so sorry Harry. Can't you take a dreamless sleep potion?"

"Yeah, but Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey won't let me take it more than a couple nights a week. Apparently it can be addictive."

"Oh, I didn't know that. Do you have any other dreams?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like are you having any visions. Are you seeing things through the Dark Lord's eyes again?"

"His name is Voldemort, not the Dark Lord.  Fear of a name only increases the fear itself," said Harry firmly.

"Okay…okay. Are you see things through V-Voldemort's eyes again?"

"Well, not like that. Things have been pretty quite. I am getting worried. It's like I should be having those visions, but I am not. I wonder what Voldemort is up to."

"What do you mean 'not like that'?

Harry looked down at the couch as if he was trying to decide if he wanted to tell Draco or not. "Well…I did have this one dream where I am in a dark place with lots of people, but I don't recognize anyone. And I feel this incredible sense of dread and my chest feels really warm."

"That's it?" Draco asked. Harry nodded.

"That's not a lot to go on is it?"

"No, it's not. And I don't know what to make of it. I can't figure out if it's a 'normal' dream or something that Voldemort is feeding me."

"Can he really do that?" asked Draco astonished.

"Yeah, that's why Dumbledore is so insistent that I take occlumency lessons."

"When does that start?"

"Soon I think.  I am not looking forward to it."

"Everything will be okay, I promise," said Draco reassuring his boyfriend.

"I hope so," said Harry resting back into his boyfriends arms.

A/N: Okay, this chapter was never really in my original plans for the story, but I really like it. It sort of just evolved as I began writing. For a chapter that wasn't supposed to exist, I think it is my longest yet. (11 pages!!) What do you think? Does it fit in with the rest of the story? Is it unnecessary? What about Blaise's character? I am not sure if he is OOC or not. Hell, I don't even know if he is a boy in the HP books. I can never find any info on him when I am looking for it. Don't you hate that!

A/N 2: As you know, I usually update everyday, but I probably won't be able to post this weekend. Look for the next chapter on Monday.

Catmint- Thanks for the advice. Believe it or not I do know the difference between affect and effect. That was just a brief lapse in writing abilities.  Yeah…that's it… I probably should have a beta reader, but I update faster than they would be able to proofread my story. I am trying to get this all out before I have to go back to school.  Teaching and graduate classes will not afford me the time to write as often, and I don't want to leave the story hanging.

I Forget- thanks for the review. I didn't like this chapter either, but it will have to do.

Kayin-No-Kaze- thanks for the vote of confidence. What did you think of this one?

Krystal – my writing ability is extraordinary? THANKS! I have really strived to create a story with a lot of emotional depth, so thank you for validating what I have desperately have tried to do.

blackenedsoul- the sexual abuse will be revealed later out of necessity. You will see why.

SlytherinRose – no, no there will be no threesome in this story. I just didn't want Draco's entire house against him. I thought that would be a little unrealistic, so I made Blaise his one friend he could trust other than the Gryffindors.