Holly Short and Chix Verbil were being sent out to pick up some members of
a small time goblin gang and let them spend a couple nights in cells at the
Police Plaza. This was pretty routine, except for one problem: it wasn't
really Holly. Vinyaya really had no idea what to do and Chix got to be the
big man for once. Especially when the handcuffs she put on the goblin fell
off.
Chix then demonstrated proper handcuffing by handcuffing Holly to him (after he'd placed the other cuffs on the gang members). He finally took the cuff off Holly when she started whining.
"Gee, Holly. That's not like you at all. Normally you'd scream at me or hit me or something. What's with you today?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon, Hol, tell me."
"No."
"Please."
"No, go away!" She had stalked off like an angry cat. Word of her mishaps spread around the room where the recon boys were waiting to be called on for their next assignments.
Root sat in his office, massaging his temples. Holly had been unusually whiny today. Not at all like herself. She'd come in his office complaining about minor things that she knew how to take care of, or that she should know how to take care of. And from what he'd been told she'd messed up with beginner's mistakes out in the field today. She certainly hadn't seemed herself at all.
Maybe he should call Trouble Kelp in and see what he thought. Kelp and Short were good friends and he'd probably know if there was something strange going on. If there was something strange going on and Root was going to get to the bottom of it.
Come to think of it Corporal Kelp had been surprised to see his older brother in the Police Plaza. Said that Trouble hadn't felt well the night before, but when Root saw Trouble this morning he looked fine. Then again, Trouble was known to act like a macho tough guy; even if he weren't well he'd probably act like nothing was bothering him.
It was just Root's luck that Trouble past by his office. "KELP! GET IN HERE!"
"Yessir?" Holly (disguised as Trouble) entered.
Root knew there was something different about Trouble today. He looked a little shorter than normal. That wasn't Trouble's walk. That was feminine, somewhat feminine anyway. That was Holly's walk. He'd get to the bottom of this. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull?"
"No stunt, Commander."
"Sit down."
"Yessir."
Those were Holly's words, even if they weren't Holly's voice. "I'm going to ask you one more time." His voice was dangerous. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull, Short?"
"Noth-" She stopped mid-word, realizing that he'd used her correct name. "Sorry, sir. How'd you know it was me?"
"Holly, I've known you since you were a child. How could I not recognize you? Take off that ridiculous mask and start talking like yourself. Why are you dressed like that?"
She removed the voice modifier but left the mask on. "Sorry, sir, but if I take the mask off it won't go back on."
"That still doesn't explain why you're dressed like Lieutenant Kelp."
"Sir, you're aware the Council tried to fire me without your consent. I'm also aware that they attempted to force you to retire. Foaly and I thought that-"
"Foaly! I should have known that pony had something to do with this!"
"Permission to continue, sir?" She'd be in enough trouble as it was, best to keep up the good manners to avoid making it worse.
"Proceed," he grumbled.
"We thought, if we could get someone on the Council to see things from the inside it might help them understand."
"So who else is parading around in disguise?
"Councilwoman Vinyaya is, to all appearances, Captain Holly Short today."
"I thought something was weird about Holly today, I mean the person I thought was Holly. Then where's the real Kelp?"
"At home. He's ill. He was going to pretend to be Councilwoman Vinyaya."
"You're lucky he's ill then! Do you realize the trouble there'd be if you'd been caught?"
A new person entered and stood in the doorway. "Jul-I mean, Commander Root-you must punish Private Verbil immediately." The elf looked like Captain Holly Short, she even had her nametag.
"Nice of you to join us, Councilwoman. Take a seat!" barked Root.
She sat rather huffily in the chair next to the real Holly's chair. "You told him?"
"I'm a smart boy," he said sarcastically. "I figured it out on my own. What's your complaint against Verbil?"
"He wouldn't leave me alone!" she pouted.
"Let me guess, hitting on you even when you tell him you aren't interested?" asked Holly.
"Yes!" she whined. "I was polite at first but he wouldn't stay away so I got angry. He still kept bugging me and no one did anything about it. No one helped me."
It was funny, Holly thought, she had decided she wouldn't report Chix, but here she saw someone who looked and sounded just like her doing just that.
Root turned back to the girl who looked like Trouble. "Holly, has this been an on-going problem?"
"Yes, sir. It's why he got shot by those goblins and lost use of his wings. I couldn't stand staying in the cham pod with him anymore."
"So you shot him?" asked Vinyaya, clearly horrified.
"Don't be stupid," Holly snapped. "Of course I didn't shoot him. I sent him out on a routine fly-by. The stuff he says to my face isn't so bad as what I've just found out some of them say behind my back."
"Holly, why didn't you speak about this sooner?"
She shrugged. She'd just assumed it'd be best to try and settle the problem herself, she couldn't settle it so she ignored it as best she could.
"We'll do something about it," said Vinyaya determinedly.
Fortunately, by now, Holly and Trouble's shifts had ended. The switch was successful.
* * * *
Several days later, Foaly asked Holly to go check on a phone call they'd tapped. Phone calls that contained many terms specific to the People were traced and checked out. This call had consisted of, "I need to see Holly Short. LEP. Lower Elements Police. LEPrecon. Elf. Fairy. Haven. Shuttle pilot. Time-stop. Sprite. Centaur. Foaly. Commander Root. Goblin. If you get this call, meet me at E1 at nine p.m. 2 nights from now." This call sent up red flags. It was from Fowl's private line and it went to MovieFone. (A/N: I got the idea about this from Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code) Even though it was just Fowl, Foaly thought Holly better go to the surface and check it out.
She found Fowl waiting. "What is it this time? The LEP has better things to do than be at your beck and call."
"Just settling a score. I am indebted to you," said Artemis. "From what Butler told me, I owe you my life."
"It's a small thing," she said.
"That may be so but I prize it highly. As I said before I am in your debt."
"So?"
"I am a businessman, Captain," he said testily. "I don't like being in debt to anyone. I'd like to make it up to you."
"How?"
"Butler," Artemis called to him and Butler came, bearing a large sack. He dropped it in front of Holly.
"What's all this?" she asked.
"A return. This is about half of the LEP Retrieval One squad's weapons that Butler and I took when you put the time-stop over Fowl Manor. Half of what I have not yet dissected of course. Good evening to you, Holly." He and Butler walked back to the Bentley.
"G'night, Mud Boy." She clipped the sack of weapons to her moonbelt.
* * *
Holly got back to the Police Plaza to return the weapons and noticed an unusual amount of activity. She caught Foaly by the arm and asked, "What's all this?"
"While you were on the surface checking that phone call, Root had a little assembly for all the boys," Foaly said.
"What sort of assembly?"
"About harassment. And the consequences for anyone who does harass the female employees," said Vinyaya. "I'll be checking up to see that the rules are enforced. Nobody should have to work going through what you did."
Trouble approached them. "Hello, Captain Short," he said stiffly.
Holly burst out laughing.
"It's not that funny," said Trouble. "What's in that bag?"
Holly opened the sack. "These look familiar? The weapons Butler took from Retrieval during the siege of Fowl Manor."
"It's only half. Less than that even. He took out everybody but Grub."
"You can't know that Mud Boy and honestly expeted him to return everything. This is half of what he didn't damage."
"Why'd he give it back?"
"Last week I saved his life. Again."
"What'd you bother doing that for?" asked Trouble.
She punched him.
Chix then demonstrated proper handcuffing by handcuffing Holly to him (after he'd placed the other cuffs on the gang members). He finally took the cuff off Holly when she started whining.
"Gee, Holly. That's not like you at all. Normally you'd scream at me or hit me or something. What's with you today?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon, Hol, tell me."
"No."
"Please."
"No, go away!" She had stalked off like an angry cat. Word of her mishaps spread around the room where the recon boys were waiting to be called on for their next assignments.
Root sat in his office, massaging his temples. Holly had been unusually whiny today. Not at all like herself. She'd come in his office complaining about minor things that she knew how to take care of, or that she should know how to take care of. And from what he'd been told she'd messed up with beginner's mistakes out in the field today. She certainly hadn't seemed herself at all.
Maybe he should call Trouble Kelp in and see what he thought. Kelp and Short were good friends and he'd probably know if there was something strange going on. If there was something strange going on and Root was going to get to the bottom of it.
Come to think of it Corporal Kelp had been surprised to see his older brother in the Police Plaza. Said that Trouble hadn't felt well the night before, but when Root saw Trouble this morning he looked fine. Then again, Trouble was known to act like a macho tough guy; even if he weren't well he'd probably act like nothing was bothering him.
It was just Root's luck that Trouble past by his office. "KELP! GET IN HERE!"
"Yessir?" Holly (disguised as Trouble) entered.
Root knew there was something different about Trouble today. He looked a little shorter than normal. That wasn't Trouble's walk. That was feminine, somewhat feminine anyway. That was Holly's walk. He'd get to the bottom of this. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull?"
"No stunt, Commander."
"Sit down."
"Yessir."
Those were Holly's words, even if they weren't Holly's voice. "I'm going to ask you one more time." His voice was dangerous. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull, Short?"
"Noth-" She stopped mid-word, realizing that he'd used her correct name. "Sorry, sir. How'd you know it was me?"
"Holly, I've known you since you were a child. How could I not recognize you? Take off that ridiculous mask and start talking like yourself. Why are you dressed like that?"
She removed the voice modifier but left the mask on. "Sorry, sir, but if I take the mask off it won't go back on."
"That still doesn't explain why you're dressed like Lieutenant Kelp."
"Sir, you're aware the Council tried to fire me without your consent. I'm also aware that they attempted to force you to retire. Foaly and I thought that-"
"Foaly! I should have known that pony had something to do with this!"
"Permission to continue, sir?" She'd be in enough trouble as it was, best to keep up the good manners to avoid making it worse.
"Proceed," he grumbled.
"We thought, if we could get someone on the Council to see things from the inside it might help them understand."
"So who else is parading around in disguise?
"Councilwoman Vinyaya is, to all appearances, Captain Holly Short today."
"I thought something was weird about Holly today, I mean the person I thought was Holly. Then where's the real Kelp?"
"At home. He's ill. He was going to pretend to be Councilwoman Vinyaya."
"You're lucky he's ill then! Do you realize the trouble there'd be if you'd been caught?"
A new person entered and stood in the doorway. "Jul-I mean, Commander Root-you must punish Private Verbil immediately." The elf looked like Captain Holly Short, she even had her nametag.
"Nice of you to join us, Councilwoman. Take a seat!" barked Root.
She sat rather huffily in the chair next to the real Holly's chair. "You told him?"
"I'm a smart boy," he said sarcastically. "I figured it out on my own. What's your complaint against Verbil?"
"He wouldn't leave me alone!" she pouted.
"Let me guess, hitting on you even when you tell him you aren't interested?" asked Holly.
"Yes!" she whined. "I was polite at first but he wouldn't stay away so I got angry. He still kept bugging me and no one did anything about it. No one helped me."
It was funny, Holly thought, she had decided she wouldn't report Chix, but here she saw someone who looked and sounded just like her doing just that.
Root turned back to the girl who looked like Trouble. "Holly, has this been an on-going problem?"
"Yes, sir. It's why he got shot by those goblins and lost use of his wings. I couldn't stand staying in the cham pod with him anymore."
"So you shot him?" asked Vinyaya, clearly horrified.
"Don't be stupid," Holly snapped. "Of course I didn't shoot him. I sent him out on a routine fly-by. The stuff he says to my face isn't so bad as what I've just found out some of them say behind my back."
"Holly, why didn't you speak about this sooner?"
She shrugged. She'd just assumed it'd be best to try and settle the problem herself, she couldn't settle it so she ignored it as best she could.
"We'll do something about it," said Vinyaya determinedly.
Fortunately, by now, Holly and Trouble's shifts had ended. The switch was successful.
* * * *
Several days later, Foaly asked Holly to go check on a phone call they'd tapped. Phone calls that contained many terms specific to the People were traced and checked out. This call had consisted of, "I need to see Holly Short. LEP. Lower Elements Police. LEPrecon. Elf. Fairy. Haven. Shuttle pilot. Time-stop. Sprite. Centaur. Foaly. Commander Root. Goblin. If you get this call, meet me at E1 at nine p.m. 2 nights from now." This call sent up red flags. It was from Fowl's private line and it went to MovieFone. (A/N: I got the idea about this from Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code) Even though it was just Fowl, Foaly thought Holly better go to the surface and check it out.
She found Fowl waiting. "What is it this time? The LEP has better things to do than be at your beck and call."
"Just settling a score. I am indebted to you," said Artemis. "From what Butler told me, I owe you my life."
"It's a small thing," she said.
"That may be so but I prize it highly. As I said before I am in your debt."
"So?"
"I am a businessman, Captain," he said testily. "I don't like being in debt to anyone. I'd like to make it up to you."
"How?"
"Butler," Artemis called to him and Butler came, bearing a large sack. He dropped it in front of Holly.
"What's all this?" she asked.
"A return. This is about half of the LEP Retrieval One squad's weapons that Butler and I took when you put the time-stop over Fowl Manor. Half of what I have not yet dissected of course. Good evening to you, Holly." He and Butler walked back to the Bentley.
"G'night, Mud Boy." She clipped the sack of weapons to her moonbelt.
* * *
Holly got back to the Police Plaza to return the weapons and noticed an unusual amount of activity. She caught Foaly by the arm and asked, "What's all this?"
"While you were on the surface checking that phone call, Root had a little assembly for all the boys," Foaly said.
"What sort of assembly?"
"About harassment. And the consequences for anyone who does harass the female employees," said Vinyaya. "I'll be checking up to see that the rules are enforced. Nobody should have to work going through what you did."
Trouble approached them. "Hello, Captain Short," he said stiffly.
Holly burst out laughing.
"It's not that funny," said Trouble. "What's in that bag?"
Holly opened the sack. "These look familiar? The weapons Butler took from Retrieval during the siege of Fowl Manor."
"It's only half. Less than that even. He took out everybody but Grub."
"You can't know that Mud Boy and honestly expeted him to return everything. This is half of what he didn't damage."
"Why'd he give it back?"
"Last week I saved his life. Again."
"What'd you bother doing that for?" asked Trouble.
She punched him.