Disclaimer: Much as I'd like to, I don't own Draco Malfoy, or any part of the magical world that J.K. Rowling has all the copyrights to ... please don't sue me. There are some parts of this story that are quotes from the book - it can't be helped - events are the same as in the book, but Draco's opinion of these events may vary from Harry's.
Author's Notes: I needed to do some re-writing, after reading OotP. I have made some minor changes to this chapter, mostly spelling and grammar. And an entire new scene has been added at the end of this chapter ... the quote from the Muggle magazine is genuine, from the New Scientist, 19 July 2003.
Starre: Do you have a page reference for where it says Quirrell's name? Just wondering, because I like to know these things.
emerald: Well, it's like this ... imagine how you see your character in a computer game - you see them from behind, and you see sorta what they see - at least what's in front of them, anyway. Therefore, he could see the back of Quirrell's head, and the fact Cat was grabbed by her hair.
Caz Malfoy: *sighs* I just won't bother arguing ... I guess, there are some good points about ATHSS, I just like DMPOV better, is all, really. Oh, I agree with you, I would also love to sleep in the Great Hall, just as you said *evil grin*.
angelkas: Yes, I've known someone like that ... horrible, isn't it? Theo isn't quite like normal people ... I thought I'd established this ... he's not quite sane, therefore he's entitled to bouts of childish insanity ... he doesn't need that much candy to get that hyper - trust me, I get that bad on one can of coke and a bar of dairy milk! Oh, I would love to have written the Wood-throwing-a-fit scene, but I just couldn't do it justice ... the imagination is so much better at that than the written word *evil grin*. Who are idiots? And I reiterate - Theo isn't sane, therefore he doesn't count as a normal 13 year old ... the others aren't singing it - the others are insulting him for singing it - these kids are acting more mature than me, so the better be IC for 13!
dragonsprincess: My cat has white fur, blue eyes, is a demon disgusted as an adorable kitten ... and I named him Draco. As I said earlier ... Theo isn't being immature, or masochistic - he's being insane! Theo isn't entirely in his right mind ... although I think even for a lunatic, it would take some guts to say that to Draco, yes.
"What, exactly, is the function of a rubber duck?" -Arthur Weasley, in the Chamber of Secrets movie.
Chapter 11 - Crookshanks and the Great Rubber Duck Conspiracy
Wandering the dungeons, between dinnertime and curfew (after a particularly 'festive' Charms class - Flitwick seems to think that all the students actually want to get into the 'Christmas Spirit' at this time of year - ha) as I tend to do when bored, I was suddenly passed by a pair of flying fur-balls ... well, they weren't actually flying, but they were running so fast it looked like their paws barely touched the ground.
A ginger streak, that turned out to be a large cat, was chasing a smaller fur-ball that had to be a castle-rat.
I turned to watch them speed down the corridor, but the rat was having none of it - it turned sharply left and into a hole in the wall ... the cat crouched down and proceeded to swipe its paw into the hole, in a vain attempt to catch the rodent.
"You'll not get it now." I said calmly. The cat stopped clawing at the rat-hole and looked up at me, "Those rat-holes go all the way around the school ... almost as good as the secret passageways ... it's gone."
The cat walked towards me, winding around my ankles and purring.
"What do you want?" I asked.
It just continued to purr and wind around my ankles. I picked him up, holding him carefully and stroking the thick fur on his back.
"There you are, Crookshanks!" Hermione's voice called from the end of the corridor, and she rushed towards me.
"This your cat?" I asked.
"Yes. Where's Scabbers?" she asked, now in a worried tone.
"Who ... or what ... is Scabbers?" I asked, still holding Crookshanks - odd name for a cat, if you ask me ... then again, it was a bit bow-legged.
"He's a rat ... Crookshanks chased him out of the Gryffindor tower and I've been looking for them for the last half hour ... if Ron finds out about this he'll get really mad at me." Hermione said in a rush.
"The rat went in there." I said, pointing at the hole through which the rodent disappeared.
Hermione knelt down at the hole and started speaking in a soothing tone, "Scabbers - come out, Scabbers - it's O.K. - no cats to get you. It's safe now, Scabbers."
Suddenly, a rat's nose appeared in the hole, sniffing nervously. I held Crookshanks tighter, as he tried to get to the rat. Hermione carefully picked up the rat and held him to her chest, protectively - at that moment I really wished I was that rat ... I didn't just think that, did I?
"Is that the rat that bit Goyle, on the train in first year?" I asked, eyeing the creature with disapproval.
"From what Harry and Ron tell me ... yes." Hermione said, smiling, "I'm sure Goyle's forgotten about it by now." she added in a tone that implies she doubts Gregory Goyle had either the brain power or the memory span of a goldfish ... she was probably right.
"You've got a point." I noted, "It's Weasley's, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"I would say something about his not being able to afford a real pet, but I don't want to make you mad at me." I said carefully.
"You just did ... and surprisingly, I'm not going to get mad." she said, smiling.
"Why a rat, of all things, though?" I asked, truly confused.
"It ... why should I tell you?" she snapped, "Ron'd be mad as hell if I told you."
I shrugged, "Fine. I don't much care about Weasley's rat, anyway ... this animal is much nicer, I think." I said, shifting Crookshanks' weight, so I could hold him more easily.
"He seems to like you, Malfoy." she noted.
"Surprising, actually." I said, scratching the cat behind the ears, "Since you were right about my Animagus form - I'd be a ferret."
"I thought it'd be something like that." she said, smiling and trying to calm the suddenly panicked rat.
"What's with him? Crookshanks is almost dozing." I said, frowning.
"I don't know - he's been twitchy since the Weasleys got back from Egypt." she said, pausing to make soothing noises to the rat.
I meanwhile petted Crookshanks, "What do you see in that rat anyway, boy?" I asked, "He's all skin a bones - there's some really juicy rats down in the dungeons, if you wanted them."
"You would feed them to him, live, too, wouldn't you?" Hermione asked, bemused.
"Of course I would." I said, "What's wrong with that? It's the natural order of things - food chain, and all."
"Hmmm ... just don't - if he gets a taste for rats, he'll never leave poor Scabbers be."
"If he gets a taste for real rats, he'll leave that anorexic creature alone." I noted.
"Maybe." she said, "You want to hold on to him for a while? I'm sure he can find his way back on his own."
"I'd like that ... of course, no one will know that I am aware who's cat this is ... right?"
"Right." she said, smiling at me and walking off, clinging tightly to an almost apoplectic rat, in case it tried to escape again.
* * *
I carried Crookshanks into the common room, "Where'd you get that from?" Theo asked, looking up from where a large group of Slytherins were crowded round a table.
"Found him wandering the dungeons - he seems to like me." I said.
"Odd." Theo muttered.
"Shut up - what's this, anyway?" I asked, stealing a seat near the table everyone was crowded round - on this table sat a small yellow object.
"It looks like a duck." one girl said.
"It's not moved since I found it in the Prefects' Bathroom." Michael Zabini - now a prefect, this year - added.
"It's made of Muggle plastic, I think." Theo said, staring intently at it.
Cat appeared behind me, "It's called a rubber duck ... and I have no idea what it's for." she said.
"It's not made of rubber - it's plastic." Theo protested.
"I know ... but that's what it's called." Cat replied.
"What's it for?" another boy asked.
"Target practice?" Blaise suggested.
"Yeah." Theo said, enthusiastically, "Line them up at the far wall, a whole bunch of them, and take a Muggle gun and -" he made a shape with his hands to resemble the aforementioned Muggle weapon, "- BANG, BANG, BANG!"
Marcus Flint, who had been watching from a 'safe distance' then made a highly obscene suggestion for the purpose of the rubber duck, before wandering off, bored with the debate. Michael made a disgusted face, "Flint is a pervert." he muttered. It was impossible to disagree.
"Maybe it's a chew toy - what do you think?" I asked, looking at the feline in my arms. Crookshanks shook his head with what had to be a revolted look on his face. "Or maybe it isn't." I added.
We were still trying to come up with possible uses for this strange Muggle creation, when the Slytherin-Mudblood wandered into the room. "What's going on?" he asked curiously.
"Come here, Mudblood." I said simply.
"Don't call me that!" he snapped.
"I will call you what I damned well please, now come here." I retorted.
Growling quiet insults and uncast hexes, he stalked towards the table. "What is this?" Michael asked, pointing to the foreign object sitting on the table.
"It's a rubber duck." the boy said simply.
"We've figured that part out - it's a Muggle thing - what's it for?" Michael reiterated.
"It's a toy ... small children - I mean very small children, like under six years old - play with them in the bath ... it's stupid, really ... and anyone who'd bring that to school with them is pathetically immature - probably a Hufflepuff." the Mudblood said calmly.
I snorted with laughter, "Right - target practice, it is then." I said, smiling. I took out my wand and levitated the duck across the room, then threw an incineration hex at it - it melted with a pitiful hissing sound, and the rest of the house laughed and/or cheered. Including the Mudblood - for a Mudblood, he's actually turned out to be a good Slytherin ... for a Mudblood.
* * *
I took Crookshanks into the dormitory and pulled out a drawer from under my bed. "Hungry, Crookshanks?" I asked.
He nodded enthusiastically, obviously smelling the rats.
I reached into the cage in the drawer, "Right ... let's see - which one ... Bubble or Squeak?" I muttered, grinning.
"That's morbid, Draco." Theo said, from the door.
"I caught them for Serena." I said, "They were destined to end up in a predator's stomach anyway."
"Serena?" Theo asked as I caught the fat brown rat with the black spot - Bubble (yes - I really had named them).
"Yes - she's a grass snake - I got her when I was seven ... I finally found out last summer, that she actually doesn't like the mice I'd been feeding her - says she'd rather rats, so I caught these. Found some good use for understanding Parseltongue even if I can't speak it." I said. I then dangled the live rat in front of Crookshanks. "Want this?" I asked the cat. The rat was squirming and squealing in blind terror.
Crookshanks nodded, visibly licking his jaws. I set the soon to be deceased Bubble down in front of Crookshanks, who pounced on the helpless rodent and killed it quickly and cleanly. I left him alone to his dinner, and took out a wrapped piece of cheese I had taken from the Great Hall, at lunchtime, from my pocket. "Here you go, Squeak." I muttered, dropping the cheese into the cage in front of the remaining rat.
"You are cold-hearted, Draco." Theo muttered.
"These rats would probably have been caught by the castle cats by now, anyway - this way, they get pampered and well treated until their demise." I said calmly, reaching into the cage and gently stroking the rat, which seemed completely unperturbed by the other rat's absence.
"You named them, and you're feeding them to cats and snakes?" Theo asked - he wasn't horrified, just slightly surprised.
"That's right." I said calmly, "They are also my pets, as long as I own them ... I just have the ability to heartlessly sever any emotional bond with the rats when the predatory pets want a snack."
Theo shook his head, "It's because you are a predator at heart. Ferret."
"Thank you." I replied coolly.
* * *
The next day, I wandered into the Library, to find Theo talking to a Ravenclaw girl who I had seen before, but did not know her name.
"What are you up to now, Theo?" I asked, sitting down next to him, at the table they had been talking over.
"Talking." Theo answered.
"I noticed that. What about?" I asked.
"You're Draco Malfoy." the girl said, looking at me.
I turned my attention to her, "Yes ... I already knew that."
"You're the Seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team." she added, as if this was a great revelation.
"Yes. I knew that too." I said, fast becoming annoyed with this girl.
"We were talking about this." Theo said, sensing my annoyance, and deciding it would be best to distract me. He shoved a magazine towards me.
I read the page that it was turned to.
'The Great Rubber Duck Conspiracy.
This reporter has recently heard rumours that a
group of magically sentient rubber ducks are
planning political and global conquest, enlisting
the assistance of the pigeons. Barn owls have
also proved unreliable, in the light of this new
conspiracy. Henceforth, this publication will be
using the slightly cheaper, and much more
reliable tawny owls for delivery.
A Muggle scientist made this comment in a
popular Muggle magazine: "Impressed by the speed
at which a cargo of rubber ducks travelled around
the world's oceans after falling overboard in
1992. The ducks, whose voyage was tracked by
scientists, are expected to wash up on the New
England shore anytime now." According to the
Muggle tracking devices, the ducks have visited
the Antarctic, and made treaty negotiations with
the penguins, as well.
And the head of department for the Misuse of
Muggle artefacts claims there has been no
magical alteration to any rubber ducks, and the
only statement he was prepared to be quoted on
was unsuitable for print.'
"By 'unsuitable for print', does that mean he insulted the integrity of this paper? Because in that case my reaction to reading it is also unsuitable." I said coldly, handing it back to Theo.
"What? It makes perfect sense!" Theo said reproachfully.
"If you think so." I said, in my humouring-crazy-people voice.
"Anyway, Draco, this is Luna Lovegood ... and she seems to know you, but it's polite to say: Luna, this is Draco Malfoy." Theo said, grinning.
"Hello, Luna." I said offering her my hand, to shake.
She looked at my hand for about a minute, before saying "Hello, Draco." and shaking my hand, more vigorously than was comfortable, but yet she didn't seem too enthusiastic about it.
"So, besides rubber ducks plotting world domination, what have you two been talking about?" I asked, trying to sound polite.
"Not much ... invisible beasts, giant spiders, and centaur politics ... nothing you'd be interested in, really, Draco." Theo replied.
"Well ... in that case." I said, edging away from them, and standing up, "I'll just be going, then." I turned and walked away as quickly as I could. Theo has found someone on his own level ... that is a scary thought.
* * *
End of chapter 11
Author's Notes: I needed to do some re-writing, after reading OotP. I have made some minor changes to this chapter, mostly spelling and grammar. And an entire new scene has been added at the end of this chapter ... the quote from the Muggle magazine is genuine, from the New Scientist, 19 July 2003.
Starre: Do you have a page reference for where it says Quirrell's name? Just wondering, because I like to know these things.
emerald: Well, it's like this ... imagine how you see your character in a computer game - you see them from behind, and you see sorta what they see - at least what's in front of them, anyway. Therefore, he could see the back of Quirrell's head, and the fact Cat was grabbed by her hair.
Caz Malfoy: *sighs* I just won't bother arguing ... I guess, there are some good points about ATHSS, I just like DMPOV better, is all, really. Oh, I agree with you, I would also love to sleep in the Great Hall, just as you said *evil grin*.
angelkas: Yes, I've known someone like that ... horrible, isn't it? Theo isn't quite like normal people ... I thought I'd established this ... he's not quite sane, therefore he's entitled to bouts of childish insanity ... he doesn't need that much candy to get that hyper - trust me, I get that bad on one can of coke and a bar of dairy milk! Oh, I would love to have written the Wood-throwing-a-fit scene, but I just couldn't do it justice ... the imagination is so much better at that than the written word *evil grin*. Who are idiots? And I reiterate - Theo isn't sane, therefore he doesn't count as a normal 13 year old ... the others aren't singing it - the others are insulting him for singing it - these kids are acting more mature than me, so the better be IC for 13!
dragonsprincess: My cat has white fur, blue eyes, is a demon disgusted as an adorable kitten ... and I named him Draco. As I said earlier ... Theo isn't being immature, or masochistic - he's being insane! Theo isn't entirely in his right mind ... although I think even for a lunatic, it would take some guts to say that to Draco, yes.
"What, exactly, is the function of a rubber duck?" -Arthur Weasley, in the Chamber of Secrets movie.
Chapter 11 - Crookshanks and the Great Rubber Duck Conspiracy
Wandering the dungeons, between dinnertime and curfew (after a particularly 'festive' Charms class - Flitwick seems to think that all the students actually want to get into the 'Christmas Spirit' at this time of year - ha) as I tend to do when bored, I was suddenly passed by a pair of flying fur-balls ... well, they weren't actually flying, but they were running so fast it looked like their paws barely touched the ground.
A ginger streak, that turned out to be a large cat, was chasing a smaller fur-ball that had to be a castle-rat.
I turned to watch them speed down the corridor, but the rat was having none of it - it turned sharply left and into a hole in the wall ... the cat crouched down and proceeded to swipe its paw into the hole, in a vain attempt to catch the rodent.
"You'll not get it now." I said calmly. The cat stopped clawing at the rat-hole and looked up at me, "Those rat-holes go all the way around the school ... almost as good as the secret passageways ... it's gone."
The cat walked towards me, winding around my ankles and purring.
"What do you want?" I asked.
It just continued to purr and wind around my ankles. I picked him up, holding him carefully and stroking the thick fur on his back.
"There you are, Crookshanks!" Hermione's voice called from the end of the corridor, and she rushed towards me.
"This your cat?" I asked.
"Yes. Where's Scabbers?" she asked, now in a worried tone.
"Who ... or what ... is Scabbers?" I asked, still holding Crookshanks - odd name for a cat, if you ask me ... then again, it was a bit bow-legged.
"He's a rat ... Crookshanks chased him out of the Gryffindor tower and I've been looking for them for the last half hour ... if Ron finds out about this he'll get really mad at me." Hermione said in a rush.
"The rat went in there." I said, pointing at the hole through which the rodent disappeared.
Hermione knelt down at the hole and started speaking in a soothing tone, "Scabbers - come out, Scabbers - it's O.K. - no cats to get you. It's safe now, Scabbers."
Suddenly, a rat's nose appeared in the hole, sniffing nervously. I held Crookshanks tighter, as he tried to get to the rat. Hermione carefully picked up the rat and held him to her chest, protectively - at that moment I really wished I was that rat ... I didn't just think that, did I?
"Is that the rat that bit Goyle, on the train in first year?" I asked, eyeing the creature with disapproval.
"From what Harry and Ron tell me ... yes." Hermione said, smiling, "I'm sure Goyle's forgotten about it by now." she added in a tone that implies she doubts Gregory Goyle had either the brain power or the memory span of a goldfish ... she was probably right.
"You've got a point." I noted, "It's Weasley's, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"I would say something about his not being able to afford a real pet, but I don't want to make you mad at me." I said carefully.
"You just did ... and surprisingly, I'm not going to get mad." she said, smiling.
"Why a rat, of all things, though?" I asked, truly confused.
"It ... why should I tell you?" she snapped, "Ron'd be mad as hell if I told you."
I shrugged, "Fine. I don't much care about Weasley's rat, anyway ... this animal is much nicer, I think." I said, shifting Crookshanks' weight, so I could hold him more easily.
"He seems to like you, Malfoy." she noted.
"Surprising, actually." I said, scratching the cat behind the ears, "Since you were right about my Animagus form - I'd be a ferret."
"I thought it'd be something like that." she said, smiling and trying to calm the suddenly panicked rat.
"What's with him? Crookshanks is almost dozing." I said, frowning.
"I don't know - he's been twitchy since the Weasleys got back from Egypt." she said, pausing to make soothing noises to the rat.
I meanwhile petted Crookshanks, "What do you see in that rat anyway, boy?" I asked, "He's all skin a bones - there's some really juicy rats down in the dungeons, if you wanted them."
"You would feed them to him, live, too, wouldn't you?" Hermione asked, bemused.
"Of course I would." I said, "What's wrong with that? It's the natural order of things - food chain, and all."
"Hmmm ... just don't - if he gets a taste for rats, he'll never leave poor Scabbers be."
"If he gets a taste for real rats, he'll leave that anorexic creature alone." I noted.
"Maybe." she said, "You want to hold on to him for a while? I'm sure he can find his way back on his own."
"I'd like that ... of course, no one will know that I am aware who's cat this is ... right?"
"Right." she said, smiling at me and walking off, clinging tightly to an almost apoplectic rat, in case it tried to escape again.
* * *
I carried Crookshanks into the common room, "Where'd you get that from?" Theo asked, looking up from where a large group of Slytherins were crowded round a table.
"Found him wandering the dungeons - he seems to like me." I said.
"Odd." Theo muttered.
"Shut up - what's this, anyway?" I asked, stealing a seat near the table everyone was crowded round - on this table sat a small yellow object.
"It looks like a duck." one girl said.
"It's not moved since I found it in the Prefects' Bathroom." Michael Zabini - now a prefect, this year - added.
"It's made of Muggle plastic, I think." Theo said, staring intently at it.
Cat appeared behind me, "It's called a rubber duck ... and I have no idea what it's for." she said.
"It's not made of rubber - it's plastic." Theo protested.
"I know ... but that's what it's called." Cat replied.
"What's it for?" another boy asked.
"Target practice?" Blaise suggested.
"Yeah." Theo said, enthusiastically, "Line them up at the far wall, a whole bunch of them, and take a Muggle gun and -" he made a shape with his hands to resemble the aforementioned Muggle weapon, "- BANG, BANG, BANG!"
Marcus Flint, who had been watching from a 'safe distance' then made a highly obscene suggestion for the purpose of the rubber duck, before wandering off, bored with the debate. Michael made a disgusted face, "Flint is a pervert." he muttered. It was impossible to disagree.
"Maybe it's a chew toy - what do you think?" I asked, looking at the feline in my arms. Crookshanks shook his head with what had to be a revolted look on his face. "Or maybe it isn't." I added.
We were still trying to come up with possible uses for this strange Muggle creation, when the Slytherin-Mudblood wandered into the room. "What's going on?" he asked curiously.
"Come here, Mudblood." I said simply.
"Don't call me that!" he snapped.
"I will call you what I damned well please, now come here." I retorted.
Growling quiet insults and uncast hexes, he stalked towards the table. "What is this?" Michael asked, pointing to the foreign object sitting on the table.
"It's a rubber duck." the boy said simply.
"We've figured that part out - it's a Muggle thing - what's it for?" Michael reiterated.
"It's a toy ... small children - I mean very small children, like under six years old - play with them in the bath ... it's stupid, really ... and anyone who'd bring that to school with them is pathetically immature - probably a Hufflepuff." the Mudblood said calmly.
I snorted with laughter, "Right - target practice, it is then." I said, smiling. I took out my wand and levitated the duck across the room, then threw an incineration hex at it - it melted with a pitiful hissing sound, and the rest of the house laughed and/or cheered. Including the Mudblood - for a Mudblood, he's actually turned out to be a good Slytherin ... for a Mudblood.
* * *
I took Crookshanks into the dormitory and pulled out a drawer from under my bed. "Hungry, Crookshanks?" I asked.
He nodded enthusiastically, obviously smelling the rats.
I reached into the cage in the drawer, "Right ... let's see - which one ... Bubble or Squeak?" I muttered, grinning.
"That's morbid, Draco." Theo said, from the door.
"I caught them for Serena." I said, "They were destined to end up in a predator's stomach anyway."
"Serena?" Theo asked as I caught the fat brown rat with the black spot - Bubble (yes - I really had named them).
"Yes - she's a grass snake - I got her when I was seven ... I finally found out last summer, that she actually doesn't like the mice I'd been feeding her - says she'd rather rats, so I caught these. Found some good use for understanding Parseltongue even if I can't speak it." I said. I then dangled the live rat in front of Crookshanks. "Want this?" I asked the cat. The rat was squirming and squealing in blind terror.
Crookshanks nodded, visibly licking his jaws. I set the soon to be deceased Bubble down in front of Crookshanks, who pounced on the helpless rodent and killed it quickly and cleanly. I left him alone to his dinner, and took out a wrapped piece of cheese I had taken from the Great Hall, at lunchtime, from my pocket. "Here you go, Squeak." I muttered, dropping the cheese into the cage in front of the remaining rat.
"You are cold-hearted, Draco." Theo muttered.
"These rats would probably have been caught by the castle cats by now, anyway - this way, they get pampered and well treated until their demise." I said calmly, reaching into the cage and gently stroking the rat, which seemed completely unperturbed by the other rat's absence.
"You named them, and you're feeding them to cats and snakes?" Theo asked - he wasn't horrified, just slightly surprised.
"That's right." I said calmly, "They are also my pets, as long as I own them ... I just have the ability to heartlessly sever any emotional bond with the rats when the predatory pets want a snack."
Theo shook his head, "It's because you are a predator at heart. Ferret."
"Thank you." I replied coolly.
* * *
The next day, I wandered into the Library, to find Theo talking to a Ravenclaw girl who I had seen before, but did not know her name.
"What are you up to now, Theo?" I asked, sitting down next to him, at the table they had been talking over.
"Talking." Theo answered.
"I noticed that. What about?" I asked.
"You're Draco Malfoy." the girl said, looking at me.
I turned my attention to her, "Yes ... I already knew that."
"You're the Seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team." she added, as if this was a great revelation.
"Yes. I knew that too." I said, fast becoming annoyed with this girl.
"We were talking about this." Theo said, sensing my annoyance, and deciding it would be best to distract me. He shoved a magazine towards me.
I read the page that it was turned to.
'The Great Rubber Duck Conspiracy.
This reporter has recently heard rumours that a
group of magically sentient rubber ducks are
planning political and global conquest, enlisting
the assistance of the pigeons. Barn owls have
also proved unreliable, in the light of this new
conspiracy. Henceforth, this publication will be
using the slightly cheaper, and much more
reliable tawny owls for delivery.
A Muggle scientist made this comment in a
popular Muggle magazine: "Impressed by the speed
at which a cargo of rubber ducks travelled around
the world's oceans after falling overboard in
1992. The ducks, whose voyage was tracked by
scientists, are expected to wash up on the New
England shore anytime now." According to the
Muggle tracking devices, the ducks have visited
the Antarctic, and made treaty negotiations with
the penguins, as well.
And the head of department for the Misuse of
Muggle artefacts claims there has been no
magical alteration to any rubber ducks, and the
only statement he was prepared to be quoted on
was unsuitable for print.'
"By 'unsuitable for print', does that mean he insulted the integrity of this paper? Because in that case my reaction to reading it is also unsuitable." I said coldly, handing it back to Theo.
"What? It makes perfect sense!" Theo said reproachfully.
"If you think so." I said, in my humouring-crazy-people voice.
"Anyway, Draco, this is Luna Lovegood ... and she seems to know you, but it's polite to say: Luna, this is Draco Malfoy." Theo said, grinning.
"Hello, Luna." I said offering her my hand, to shake.
She looked at my hand for about a minute, before saying "Hello, Draco." and shaking my hand, more vigorously than was comfortable, but yet she didn't seem too enthusiastic about it.
"So, besides rubber ducks plotting world domination, what have you two been talking about?" I asked, trying to sound polite.
"Not much ... invisible beasts, giant spiders, and centaur politics ... nothing you'd be interested in, really, Draco." Theo replied.
"Well ... in that case." I said, edging away from them, and standing up, "I'll just be going, then." I turned and walked away as quickly as I could. Theo has found someone on his own level ... that is a scary thought.
* * *
End of chapter 11