Hello, here is another chapter. It is short, I know. I was going to bed last night but when I couldn't sleep I grabbed my notebook and wrote this. Its in Remus' point of view, and its his thoughts to everything going on. I hope you like it, I will update soon. I will also update my other fic, Brothers Til Death Do Us Part but I'm still writing the chapter, something big is going to happen! So please R/R. I don't own any of the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling.
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Survival that's what life was. Survival of the fittest, the strong ones live, the weak ones die; that's what war was about. So why was he still alive and Sirius dead? Sirius was a step up in everything, he had better reflexes, he knew more curses and their counter curses, he had more power, but it was Remus who was still alive. Whoever thought of the Survival of the fittest didn't take into account the Marauders, if the man was right he and Peter should be dead and James and Sirius ruling the earth. They had been the best, the toughest, and the fittest.
It had been a blow to him when Sirius died, he had wanted to go after him just like Harry. He wanted to call his name, weep for his loss and mourn for the rest of his life alone. He couldn't though, he had to watch Harry. He had to be strong for Harry when he really wanted to cry along with him. He had to protect and watch Harry, he couldn't hide like he did last time. He had to face the facts, move on with life and be strong. He had a duty as a Marauder to watch James' son, he had to make sure he was fine. He had to be strong like James and Sirius, he couldn't be himself.
Why did Sirius die? Who decided these things? He needed Sirius in his life, he wanted his brother back. That's what they were... brothers, sworn to protect each other until death, to guide and protect their families. They promised each other they would be true and strong, and Remus would be damned if he let them down again. It was all so difficult to be strong. James and Sirius had never shown weakness, they were the imagine of a what true Gryffindor should be; strong, brave, loyal and trustworthy. He felt more like a Hufflepuff, he wanted to be strong, but where did they get the strength to be so strong?
He remembered very clearly when they had all made the pact, the pact to never turn to Voldemort, to stay strong, to be brothers until death, it was when they were all young and thought they couldn't be killed.
"Did you see in the paper? Gerrard, that boy from our year turned his friends over to Voldemort," James Potter, 18 years old at the time threw down the paper. "Turned right against them."
"Its happening all the time, wizards forgetting friendships," Sirius Black, also 18 shook his head, "saving their own skins and not even thinking about their friends."
James stood up, "We need to make a pact, I want your word on this." He looked around the room, first at Sirius, then Remus and finally Peter. His eyes stayed on Peter for a moment and then he continued talking. "No matter what, no matter what you have to do... its brothers first. That's what we are, brothers. On our words as Marauders, we will never betray each other to Voldemort, spy on each other for the other side and until death we will protect each other."
Sirius stood up with James, "Brothers til Death. We will protect each other until we die."
Remus stood up next to them, "Brothers til Death."
Peter stood slowly, "Brothers til Death."
Two years after that he became the only Marauder. Where did that pact go? Why didn't Sirius think rationally for once? Why did he have to go after Peter? But he knew the answer to that, he promised to protect James, and if you hurt James, you hurt him. He was always the strongest, Azkaban had proved that. He survived 12 years in Azkaban, and some died after only a few months. He and Sirius had both been prisoners in those 12 years, and both prisoners of their minds. He came out strong though, the first one ever to escape from Azkaban on his own, that was Sirius Black for you. He could have escaped at any time but he only did so when he knew a fellow Marauder or Marauder son was in trouble. Why hadn't Sirius come out to help him? He needed Sirius all those years, but then you would have cursed him in a million small pieces, a small voice in his head said. Sirius had escaped to watch his godson, he risked everything for Harry because of that pact they made, "protect each other until death." He did that, he protected Harry until his final seconds. He was up in heaven watching over him now. He was up with Lily and James joking about the old times and making fun of him. He knew it. What else would a dead Marauder do?
Why did he have to die though? He had just entered his life again, he was just getting use to having a shoulder to lean on. He needed someone to confine in, someone he could speak to about the good old times, he needed Sirius. It had been a good year, Moony and Padfoot came out to play during the full moons, for the first time in 12 years he hadn't minded it. Why was he gone? Did Sirius know he needed him? That Harry needed him? Why am I the only one left? Why couldn't he have gone with Sirius? What was his purpose on earth? Hadn't he suffered enough? Why couldn't James be alive and allowed to be there and watch his son grow into a man? Why did that responsibility fall to him? He didn't want it! He loved Harry yes, of course he did, but why did James and Lily have to be robbed of that?
Why did some people have to suffer so much in one life? Why did the Marauders have enough problems for all of Hogwarts? He was a werewolf, his father died when he was young, his mother blamed him for his death, he was poor and lived most of his life alone. Sirius' family hated him, his brother was a Death Eater, he was marked a traitor, sent to Azkaban, and helpless in doing the one thing he wanted to, raise his godson. James' family were all killed before he graduated Hogwarts, he had expectations put on him that Merlin couldn't have done, forced to give up his dreams, always in the spotlight, and then died 100 years too early. Peter... blinded by power, corrupted by greed. It pained him to think about Peter, what happened to be sweet and quiet boy? It was Peter, Peter was half the reason things happened the way they did, and for what reason? It didn't make sense, none of it did.
Then there was Harry, an almost 16 year old boy who had faced things, no one else would have survived. Burdened with so much, at such a young age. What was fair in his life? Three parent figures dead, raised by Muggles who hated him, the world had turned against him, and all of his dreams are just that... dreams. Life wasn't fair. Harry deserved so much more. He deserved to know his parents, two of the greatest people who ever lived. That stupid prophecy, why did it have to be Harry? Why not someone else, why not someone older, more ready? He knew he would help Harry face the future and hopefully Harry would come to trust him as he had trusted Sirius, and all he could pray for was the strength to do so. Sirius and Harry... what an unique relationship, in three hours Harry went from almost killing him, to saving his life. Why couldn't Sirius be the one to hold his hand and be his strength through the troubles he would face? Why him? What was so special about him? Life sucked, nothing in it makes sense!
He sighed and rolled over, he needed to sleep. Taking care of Harry was hard work. The burdens were getting too much, Sirius' death, the prophecy, and he felt isolated from everyone else. He felt alone, he felt different from everyone. Remus had to show him he wasn't alone, but he had the same stubbornness that James had. Damn that Potter trait.
***
Survival that's what life was. Survival of the fittest, the strong ones live, the weak ones die; that's what war was about. So why was he still alive and Sirius dead? Sirius was a step up in everything, he had better reflexes, he knew more curses and their counter curses, he had more power, but it was Remus who was still alive. Whoever thought of the Survival of the fittest didn't take into account the Marauders, if the man was right he and Peter should be dead and James and Sirius ruling the earth. They had been the best, the toughest, and the fittest.
It had been a blow to him when Sirius died, he had wanted to go after him just like Harry. He wanted to call his name, weep for his loss and mourn for the rest of his life alone. He couldn't though, he had to watch Harry. He had to be strong for Harry when he really wanted to cry along with him. He had to protect and watch Harry, he couldn't hide like he did last time. He had to face the facts, move on with life and be strong. He had a duty as a Marauder to watch James' son, he had to make sure he was fine. He had to be strong like James and Sirius, he couldn't be himself.
Why did Sirius die? Who decided these things? He needed Sirius in his life, he wanted his brother back. That's what they were... brothers, sworn to protect each other until death, to guide and protect their families. They promised each other they would be true and strong, and Remus would be damned if he let them down again. It was all so difficult to be strong. James and Sirius had never shown weakness, they were the imagine of a what true Gryffindor should be; strong, brave, loyal and trustworthy. He felt more like a Hufflepuff, he wanted to be strong, but where did they get the strength to be so strong?
He remembered very clearly when they had all made the pact, the pact to never turn to Voldemort, to stay strong, to be brothers until death, it was when they were all young and thought they couldn't be killed.
"Did you see in the paper? Gerrard, that boy from our year turned his friends over to Voldemort," James Potter, 18 years old at the time threw down the paper. "Turned right against them."
"Its happening all the time, wizards forgetting friendships," Sirius Black, also 18 shook his head, "saving their own skins and not even thinking about their friends."
James stood up, "We need to make a pact, I want your word on this." He looked around the room, first at Sirius, then Remus and finally Peter. His eyes stayed on Peter for a moment and then he continued talking. "No matter what, no matter what you have to do... its brothers first. That's what we are, brothers. On our words as Marauders, we will never betray each other to Voldemort, spy on each other for the other side and until death we will protect each other."
Sirius stood up with James, "Brothers til Death. We will protect each other until we die."
Remus stood up next to them, "Brothers til Death."
Peter stood slowly, "Brothers til Death."
Two years after that he became the only Marauder. Where did that pact go? Why didn't Sirius think rationally for once? Why did he have to go after Peter? But he knew the answer to that, he promised to protect James, and if you hurt James, you hurt him. He was always the strongest, Azkaban had proved that. He survived 12 years in Azkaban, and some died after only a few months. He and Sirius had both been prisoners in those 12 years, and both prisoners of their minds. He came out strong though, the first one ever to escape from Azkaban on his own, that was Sirius Black for you. He could have escaped at any time but he only did so when he knew a fellow Marauder or Marauder son was in trouble. Why hadn't Sirius come out to help him? He needed Sirius all those years, but then you would have cursed him in a million small pieces, a small voice in his head said. Sirius had escaped to watch his godson, he risked everything for Harry because of that pact they made, "protect each other until death." He did that, he protected Harry until his final seconds. He was up in heaven watching over him now. He was up with Lily and James joking about the old times and making fun of him. He knew it. What else would a dead Marauder do?
Why did he have to die though? He had just entered his life again, he was just getting use to having a shoulder to lean on. He needed someone to confine in, someone he could speak to about the good old times, he needed Sirius. It had been a good year, Moony and Padfoot came out to play during the full moons, for the first time in 12 years he hadn't minded it. Why was he gone? Did Sirius know he needed him? That Harry needed him? Why am I the only one left? Why couldn't he have gone with Sirius? What was his purpose on earth? Hadn't he suffered enough? Why couldn't James be alive and allowed to be there and watch his son grow into a man? Why did that responsibility fall to him? He didn't want it! He loved Harry yes, of course he did, but why did James and Lily have to be robbed of that?
Why did some people have to suffer so much in one life? Why did the Marauders have enough problems for all of Hogwarts? He was a werewolf, his father died when he was young, his mother blamed him for his death, he was poor and lived most of his life alone. Sirius' family hated him, his brother was a Death Eater, he was marked a traitor, sent to Azkaban, and helpless in doing the one thing he wanted to, raise his godson. James' family were all killed before he graduated Hogwarts, he had expectations put on him that Merlin couldn't have done, forced to give up his dreams, always in the spotlight, and then died 100 years too early. Peter... blinded by power, corrupted by greed. It pained him to think about Peter, what happened to be sweet and quiet boy? It was Peter, Peter was half the reason things happened the way they did, and for what reason? It didn't make sense, none of it did.
Then there was Harry, an almost 16 year old boy who had faced things, no one else would have survived. Burdened with so much, at such a young age. What was fair in his life? Three parent figures dead, raised by Muggles who hated him, the world had turned against him, and all of his dreams are just that... dreams. Life wasn't fair. Harry deserved so much more. He deserved to know his parents, two of the greatest people who ever lived. That stupid prophecy, why did it have to be Harry? Why not someone else, why not someone older, more ready? He knew he would help Harry face the future and hopefully Harry would come to trust him as he had trusted Sirius, and all he could pray for was the strength to do so. Sirius and Harry... what an unique relationship, in three hours Harry went from almost killing him, to saving his life. Why couldn't Sirius be the one to hold his hand and be his strength through the troubles he would face? Why him? What was so special about him? Life sucked, nothing in it makes sense!
He sighed and rolled over, he needed to sleep. Taking care of Harry was hard work. The burdens were getting too much, Sirius' death, the prophecy, and he felt isolated from everyone else. He felt alone, he felt different from everyone. Remus had to show him he wasn't alone, but he had the same stubbornness that James had. Damn that Potter trait.