Spot: Ah yes, another day, another Fan Fic. But you must be reading this because you like Allen from Tenkuu No Escaflowne. Well I assure you, Ladies (and Gents) that There will be many mushy, gushy Allen moments in this fan fic. But be WARNED!!! This fan fic is also a satire in regards to just about every other fan fiction. It will be riddled with humor, and excessive information. I also have a tendency to add these really pointless introductions at the beginning. Oh, yes, much like this one.

Enjoy till your monkeys go NUTS!

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Chapter One: No White Rabbit In This Tale

Chizu awoke with anticipation of the new day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, breakfast was toasting in her handy-dandy toaster, and her cat needed to be fed. Then she glanced at her To Do list, and immediately allowed herself to be swallowed up by her covers with a groan.

"Not exams! I hate, hate, HATE exams!" she cried into her pillow with vehemence, "I loathe, abhor, detest and despise exams!" She sank her teeth into the pillow in an effort to calm herself, hoping to expunge the horrors of exams with the clean taste of her sheets.

Until she remembered that they weren't clean. Indeed, they hadn't been washed for months.

And her cat was complaining very loudly of imminent starvation.

With a melodramatic sigh, she tossed the foul covers aside, snapped the blinds shut, and staggered about in the confines of her rather dirty apartment. Her roommate, Joe, had left already.

A note in the slow, sweeping scrawl that belong to said roommate announced itself in huge letters on the table.

"Milk: none. Cereal: zilch. Exams: 3. Good luck."

"Lovely," Chizu scowled, glaring with vehemence at the offending note. Her cat, Stefan, leaped onto the table, and proceeded to trample the note into the piles of books and papers heaped in hazardous stacks on the surface. Chizu ran a hand through her scraggly hair, and stumbled over to the fridge. Opening a can of wet cat food, she took a grimy fork out of the overstuffed dishwasher and mashed the sloppy mess into a mushy pulp. Upon completing this enticing treatment, she set the can on the counter and turned away. Stefan didn't even yowl a thank-you as he greedily devoured the food.

"Gaw, I hate mornings," The girl yawned, extending both arms above her head in a long stretch. Her pants promptly fled her lower half to dwell about the ankles.

"What the--" She yelped, grabbing at them, missed, and then bent to pull them up again. A knock sounded at the door.

Grumbling, our young heroine stumbled towards it, pj bottoms gripped in one hand, the broken cord that had formerly cinched them in the other. She tossed the latter over her shoulder, and pried over the door, plowing a path through dirty socks and cat toys.

"Yes?" she inquired of the young woman in a cap standing impatiently in the doorway. The girl sighed and pushed past her.

"You're not even dressed yet! Gods woman! Pull yourself together! We have all of half an hour to get across the campus for Japanese exams, and you're still---Oh my holy mother's pope, this place is DISGUSTING!" The woman pulled her cap off her head and scratched at the short, black hair framing her thin, pale face. Green eyes widened at the decrepit dorm. She spun about the face her bleary counter-part.

"What do you want from me, IC? I'm up, aren't I?" This proclamation was enunciated with a wide yawn. IC Tapped her foot impatiently.

"Put some clothes on! We can't be late! And hurry up.. I'll.. Try and clean up a little!" Chizu's friend commanded, immediately diving into a pile of junk that had managed to completely submerge the dilapidated couch.

* * * *

"I Hate, hate, hate exams!" Chizu grumbled into her arm as IC shoved a Snickers at her.

"Eat something, keep up your energy," the practical girl said. Chizu buried her face further into her own skin.

"I have Trig next... I'm going to fail!" The blonde moaned, prying her face off her appendage long enough to tear into the candy bar. All she got was a sympathetic look from her friend.

At that precise moment, a beam of blue light shot down out of the sky and sucked Chizu up into oblivion.

And away from her candy bar.

Spot: Yes Yes, I know what you're thinking. "What!? No ALLEN?!?!" Breath girls. Shade. Chill. Beatnik. It's coming up. I just can't stay awake long enough to stick in Chapter two. But trust me, he'll be there! *wink*