Wfuei and the Shanghai Terror
Chapter 4
Duo and Lu
"How's it hangin'?" said Duo as he handed Wufei his overnight bag.
"The same as it was this afternoon," said Wufei, who had grown quite used to this odd greeting, so had a number of comebacks handy. He handed the bag back to Duo. "You know were the guest room is, do I look like a bellboy?"
"Traditional Chinese courtesy takes another blow," said Duo with mock sadness.
"People I regard as pesky relatives do not get V.I.P. treatment," retorted Wufei.
"Really?" asked Duo, smiling broadly. "That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. Which makes me very nervous."
Wufei snorted. "I know it's pointless to ask, but are you hungry?"
"Always," said Duo. "I must have the metabolism of a shrew."
"You must," said Wufei, regarding his friend's lean frame.
"I ordered out, it's in the oven keeping warm."
"Chinese?" asked Duo hopefully. "From Lin Quai's?"
"Not that it matters, because I've seen you eat ungodly slop with the same enthusiasm as Chateau Briand, but yes," answered Wufei.
"I love you," said Duo reverently, opening the oven door and peeking in. He fell to his knees and inhaled raptly.
"No, you love food," said Wufei. "In fact, that position of worship looks just about right. Don't you know that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins?"
"Guilty of almost all of them," said Duo, with studied nonchalance, rising to his feet. "I figure gluttony is the least of my sins."
"No doubt true of most of us," agreed Wufei.
"Gee, five minutes alone and we're getting all serious," said Duo, suddenly, sauntering into the living room.
"I'm a serious person," said Wufei, gesturing for Duo to sit, and taking overstuffed red chair opposite him.
"Oh yeah," said Duo. "Doesn't that get boring?"
"No," said Wufei shortly. "You might try it sometime."
"Only if you agree to lighten up every once in a while," said Duo, winking at him. "Although I have to admit, you've chilled out since you married Sal."
"Have I?" asked Wufei, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, she's got a good sense of humor, and she keeps you on a short leash."
"Really?" asked Wufei dryly. "I must ask her to lengthen my leash a little."
"See, you made a joke!" said Duo. "I think," he added, uncertainly.
"Yes, it was a joke," sighed Wufei. "See, I'm not good at this."
"Well, you're no comedian, but you're improving."
Duo felt something brush by his ankle and looked down. "Hey, it's the kitty," he said, reaching down to scratch the sleek Siamese behind the ears.
Shanghai Lu jumped into Duo's lap and purred loudly. "She likes me," said Duo, continuing to pet the cat.
"Figures," said Wufei, sighing again. "I seem to be the only person she hates."
He watched the cat rub against Duo's fingers and finally roll over to have her pale belly scratched.
"Maybe you're just not a cat person," said Duo.
"My family had a cat when I was a child," said Wufei. "I don't mind them. This one hates me."
"I wonder why?" thought Duo out loud.
"I have no idea," said Wufei. "Let's eat."
"Sounds good to me!" Duo said enthusiastically, standing up and brushing a few cat hairs off of his black jeans.
"I'll just go wash my hands," said Duo. The Siamese followed him into the spare bathroom and jumped up on to the counter to watch him wash, occasionally dipping her paw into the water stream and licking it.
Shanghai Lu followed Duo back into the small dining room, where Wufei was putting food, bowls and chopsticks on the table. Cutlery was kindly added for Duo.
"One day, I'll learn to eat with these things," said Duo, picking up a pair of chopsticks.
"You're not patient enough," said Wufei. "It requires taking time away from shoveling food in one's mouth to learn."
"You're probably right," said Duo, chuckling.
He sat down and began to heap food into his plate.
Duo felt something rub against his ankles in a figure eight pattern.
"Hey kitty, want a bite?" asked Duo, cutting off a piece of chicken. Wufei frowned at him.
"You're spoiling her just like Sally does."
"Cats like to be spoiled," said Duo, letting the cat sniff the offering in his fingers, and then take it carefully. "You know what they say, 'God made cats and dogs so a man will know what it's like to be both slave and master'."
"You have a dog," pointed out Wufei.
"Yeah, I like the attention," said Duo. "Jack slobbers over me, and I like to be slobbered over. Which reminds me, I need to call my neighbor in a bit and remind her to take Jack for a walk like she promised."
"So, you prefer to be master?" asked Wufei.
"I don't care," said Duo. "Maybe that's why kitty cat here doesn't like you, you're competing for the same thing."
Wufei looked thoughtful. "Perhaps," he conceded at length. "However, being a cat's slave does not appeal to me."
Duo chuckled. "Nah, you just have to let her think you're the slave. That's why we're smarter than animals, so we can stay at the top of the food chain."
"I never thought of it that way," admitted Wufei.
"Try it and see if kitty here doesn't warm right up."
"I'm afraid we've already gotten off to a bad start, so I may not very good results. You wouldn't want a cat, would you?"
"No," said Duo, "I'm pushing my luck with the dog. He chewed up one of Hilde's shoes last week."
"So, you would give me advice, and yet your own pet is an undisciplined vandal?" asked Wufei smugly.
"It's easier to give advice than to follow it," said Duo, ruefully as he chewed.
The vidphone buzzed urgently.
Wufei pushed his chair back and went to answer. Heero's face appeared.
"I have your encryptions finished," said Wufei, not bothering with greetings. He knew from long experience that when focused on a case, Heero rarely bothered with pleasantries.
"Good," said Heero succinctly. "I'll need them right away, so I'm coming over."
"I could fax them," said Wufei.
"Not a secure line," said Heero.
"Surely you're being paranoid," said Wufei, frowning.
"Things have escalated," said Heero. "I'll brief you in person when I get there." The connection ended.
"Good old Hee-chan," said Duo, who had come up behind Wufei. "He's as smooth as a rusty razor when he's in mission mode."
"He's worried about something," said Wufei, looking pensive.
"Damn, I knew this'd ruin my weekend," said Duo. "I was gonna watch the hockey finals, too.
"Not at my house," said Wufei. "I refuse to watch grown men fight with sticks over a piece of rubber."
"It's about strategy and finesse," argued Duo.
"It's Neanderthals armed with clubs taking out their hostilities on each other," countered Wufei.
"You just don't understand the dynamics of team sports," said Duo, folding his arms.
"I understand teamwork," said Wufei. "I work with people every day."
"Prove it by letting me watch the hockey finals," said Duo.
"I've been out-maneuvered by Maxwell," sighed Wufei. "I must be getting prematurely senile."
Duo laughed and claiming the remote control, settled down on the sofa and started channel surfing.
The door buzzed a while later and Wufei went to greet Heero.
"Come in," he said, bowing slightly. Heero grunted a greeting and strode past Wufei into the living room where Duo was pounding a pillow and cheering as his team racked up another goal.
Heero grabbed the remote off the arm of the sofa and clicked off the television. Duo gave him a searing look from under his brows.
"Hey, that was the finals," he protested.
Heero looked at him quizzically. "Nani?" he asked.
"Forget it," grumbled Duo. "What's goin' on?"
"I came here to warn you, we may have an information leak at Preventors headquarters," said Heero.
"A mole?" asked Duo, leaning forward.
"Perhaps, or more likely, one of our homes may have been infiltrated and bugged," said Heero. "The Red Fist seems to have access to information gathered by our agents, somehow. Two agents we sent were anticipated and almost captured on L-4 today. One was wounded eluding capture."
"The Red Fist," repeated Duo. "That's the name of those nut jobs that threatened Quat?"
"Yes," said Heero. "They're the ones that hijacked the weapons we were developing. From now on, information must be strictly safeguarded, until we find the leak. No talking about cases with anyone with a low security clearance or on unsecured lines." He looked hard at Duo.
"Hey, I can keep my mouth shut," said Duo defensively.
"Hn, I didn't notice hell freezing over," said Heero, deadpan.
"It must be, because you and Wufei both made jokes tonight," said Duo. "I'm expecting the Apocalypse at least. Scary."
"Would you like some tea, Heero?" asked Wufei politely. "Duo and I were going to have some."
Duo made a face. "I hate tea," he said. "I'll have a beer though," he hinted hopefully.
"No thank you would suffice," said Wufei, scolding Duo a little. "Beer it is."
Heero shook his head. "Thank you, no," he said, standing up. "I'll be lucky to get much sleep tonight, I have to make an emergency trip to L-4."
Wufei gave him an inquiring look. "You're replacing the wounded agent?"
Heero nodded and looked at his watch, "I don't want to miss my shuttle, so I must go."
They all said short good-byes and Duo lunged for the remote as Wufei walked Heero to the door.
Shanghai Lu jumped into Duo's lap as he settled in for the last few minutes of the hockey game. "Shit!" said Duo, looking at the score. "What happened guys?" he yelled at the screen. "We were winning 10 minutes ago!"
"Niayouu!" said the cat, butting her head up hard against Duo's chest.
"Hey kitty, what you want?" asked Duo, absently stroking the cat's head as she continued rubbing on him.
"Niayouu!" said the cat, meowing more frantically.
"You got a problem?" asked Duo facetiously. The cat suddenly nipped Duo's thumb, not hard, but to get his attention.
His attention now on the cat, she jumped down and then looked behind as if asking Duo to follow her. He stood up, and the cat led him in to the den.
"You got a catnip mouse in here you want me to get for you?" guessed Duo. The cat was still acting weird, meowing frantically and jumped up onto the bookshelf.
"Duo?" He heard Wufei's voice calling from the living room.
"I'm in the den," said Duo, feeling a little foolish. "I followed the cat."
"The cat?" asked Wufei, coming in.
"She wanted me to follow her," said Duo. Wufei snorted in disbelief.
"No, seriously," said Duo. "She kept bugging me until I followed her."
"Niayouuu!" said the Siamese insistantly, nudging a book with her head.
"She just wants to feast on another of my books," said Wufei in aggravated tones.
He reached up to grab the cat and hissed in pain as she expertly nailed him with her claws.
"Bad cat!" said Wufei, automatically sticking his punctured finger in his mouth.
"Let me get her," said Duo, reaching up. "Here kitty," he said in a coaxing voice.
The cat flattened her ears and Duo pulled back his hand. "I wonder what's up there that she doesn't want us getting?" he asked out loud.
"There's a step ladder in the kitchen," said Wufei. "Let's take a look."
Coming back momentarily with the stepladder, Wufei climbed up and looked at the top shelf where the cat was perched.
"What the hell?" he uttered, peering around the animal, who proceeded to jump down the shelves with superhuman agility and run out of the room.
"What is it?" asked Duo.
"Some sort of small plastic box with wires coming out of it," said Wufei.
"Holy shit!" said Duo, "What do you think it is?"
"I don't know," said Wufei. "But I sure as hell didn't put it there."
The two men looked at each other. "You think it's a bomb?" asked Duo quietly.
"Not likely," said Wufei, in a low voice. "More like surveillance equipment of some sort."
"A bug?" asked Duo.
"More than likely," said Wufei. "But, I'm going to look over every inch of this house and see if there's anything else."
Duo gritted his teeth. "Whaddya wanna bet my house has a few of these little babies hidden in it too?"
Wufei nodded grimly. "Someone has gone to some effort to spy on us."
"No shit," said Duo.
3 hours later, two more of the devices had been located by Wufei and Duo.
After checking carefully to make sure there were no booby traps, Duo, armed with a pair of wire cutters, disabled the devices.
"Now, our unknown friends will know we know they've been spying on us," said Wufei.
Duo was busy opening one small box with a screwdriver. "No visual, looks like audio pickup only. Hopefully, they'll just think something went wrong with their equipment."
"Well, that's a relief," said Wufei, recalling some of his and Sally's recent activities in the den and the other rooms.
"Yeah, the bad guys heard all the screams and moans, but no visual, I bet that pissed em off." Duo aimed a big perverted grin at his friend.
Wufei groaned, "Disgusting!" he said, shaking his head.
"What unnerves me is when and how this was planted," he said.
"Well, you're gone most days, so is Sally," said Duo. "Easy enough to slip in under the security system, wire up these little babies and leave. I bet the cat saw it all. Too bad she can't talk."
"Well, she seemed to communicate with you rather well," said Wufei.
"Yeah, smart kitty. She knew something was weird and wanted me to check it out, I guess."
"I can't believe I owe a debt of gratitude to that creature," said Wufei.
"All of us," said Duo. "This is the security leak that Heero and Une were worried about."
"Wait until Sally hears her spoiled rotten baby is a heroine," said Wufei sighing and folding his arms, "I'll never hear the end of it."
Chapter 4
Duo and Lu
"How's it hangin'?" said Duo as he handed Wufei his overnight bag.
"The same as it was this afternoon," said Wufei, who had grown quite used to this odd greeting, so had a number of comebacks handy. He handed the bag back to Duo. "You know were the guest room is, do I look like a bellboy?"
"Traditional Chinese courtesy takes another blow," said Duo with mock sadness.
"People I regard as pesky relatives do not get V.I.P. treatment," retorted Wufei.
"Really?" asked Duo, smiling broadly. "That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. Which makes me very nervous."
Wufei snorted. "I know it's pointless to ask, but are you hungry?"
"Always," said Duo. "I must have the metabolism of a shrew."
"You must," said Wufei, regarding his friend's lean frame.
"I ordered out, it's in the oven keeping warm."
"Chinese?" asked Duo hopefully. "From Lin Quai's?"
"Not that it matters, because I've seen you eat ungodly slop with the same enthusiasm as Chateau Briand, but yes," answered Wufei.
"I love you," said Duo reverently, opening the oven door and peeking in. He fell to his knees and inhaled raptly.
"No, you love food," said Wufei. "In fact, that position of worship looks just about right. Don't you know that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins?"
"Guilty of almost all of them," said Duo, with studied nonchalance, rising to his feet. "I figure gluttony is the least of my sins."
"No doubt true of most of us," agreed Wufei.
"Gee, five minutes alone and we're getting all serious," said Duo, suddenly, sauntering into the living room.
"I'm a serious person," said Wufei, gesturing for Duo to sit, and taking overstuffed red chair opposite him.
"Oh yeah," said Duo. "Doesn't that get boring?"
"No," said Wufei shortly. "You might try it sometime."
"Only if you agree to lighten up every once in a while," said Duo, winking at him. "Although I have to admit, you've chilled out since you married Sal."
"Have I?" asked Wufei, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, she's got a good sense of humor, and she keeps you on a short leash."
"Really?" asked Wufei dryly. "I must ask her to lengthen my leash a little."
"See, you made a joke!" said Duo. "I think," he added, uncertainly.
"Yes, it was a joke," sighed Wufei. "See, I'm not good at this."
"Well, you're no comedian, but you're improving."
Duo felt something brush by his ankle and looked down. "Hey, it's the kitty," he said, reaching down to scratch the sleek Siamese behind the ears.
Shanghai Lu jumped into Duo's lap and purred loudly. "She likes me," said Duo, continuing to pet the cat.
"Figures," said Wufei, sighing again. "I seem to be the only person she hates."
He watched the cat rub against Duo's fingers and finally roll over to have her pale belly scratched.
"Maybe you're just not a cat person," said Duo.
"My family had a cat when I was a child," said Wufei. "I don't mind them. This one hates me."
"I wonder why?" thought Duo out loud.
"I have no idea," said Wufei. "Let's eat."
"Sounds good to me!" Duo said enthusiastically, standing up and brushing a few cat hairs off of his black jeans.
"I'll just go wash my hands," said Duo. The Siamese followed him into the spare bathroom and jumped up on to the counter to watch him wash, occasionally dipping her paw into the water stream and licking it.
Shanghai Lu followed Duo back into the small dining room, where Wufei was putting food, bowls and chopsticks on the table. Cutlery was kindly added for Duo.
"One day, I'll learn to eat with these things," said Duo, picking up a pair of chopsticks.
"You're not patient enough," said Wufei. "It requires taking time away from shoveling food in one's mouth to learn."
"You're probably right," said Duo, chuckling.
He sat down and began to heap food into his plate.
Duo felt something rub against his ankles in a figure eight pattern.
"Hey kitty, want a bite?" asked Duo, cutting off a piece of chicken. Wufei frowned at him.
"You're spoiling her just like Sally does."
"Cats like to be spoiled," said Duo, letting the cat sniff the offering in his fingers, and then take it carefully. "You know what they say, 'God made cats and dogs so a man will know what it's like to be both slave and master'."
"You have a dog," pointed out Wufei.
"Yeah, I like the attention," said Duo. "Jack slobbers over me, and I like to be slobbered over. Which reminds me, I need to call my neighbor in a bit and remind her to take Jack for a walk like she promised."
"So, you prefer to be master?" asked Wufei.
"I don't care," said Duo. "Maybe that's why kitty cat here doesn't like you, you're competing for the same thing."
Wufei looked thoughtful. "Perhaps," he conceded at length. "However, being a cat's slave does not appeal to me."
Duo chuckled. "Nah, you just have to let her think you're the slave. That's why we're smarter than animals, so we can stay at the top of the food chain."
"I never thought of it that way," admitted Wufei.
"Try it and see if kitty here doesn't warm right up."
"I'm afraid we've already gotten off to a bad start, so I may not very good results. You wouldn't want a cat, would you?"
"No," said Duo, "I'm pushing my luck with the dog. He chewed up one of Hilde's shoes last week."
"So, you would give me advice, and yet your own pet is an undisciplined vandal?" asked Wufei smugly.
"It's easier to give advice than to follow it," said Duo, ruefully as he chewed.
The vidphone buzzed urgently.
Wufei pushed his chair back and went to answer. Heero's face appeared.
"I have your encryptions finished," said Wufei, not bothering with greetings. He knew from long experience that when focused on a case, Heero rarely bothered with pleasantries.
"Good," said Heero succinctly. "I'll need them right away, so I'm coming over."
"I could fax them," said Wufei.
"Not a secure line," said Heero.
"Surely you're being paranoid," said Wufei, frowning.
"Things have escalated," said Heero. "I'll brief you in person when I get there." The connection ended.
"Good old Hee-chan," said Duo, who had come up behind Wufei. "He's as smooth as a rusty razor when he's in mission mode."
"He's worried about something," said Wufei, looking pensive.
"Damn, I knew this'd ruin my weekend," said Duo. "I was gonna watch the hockey finals, too.
"Not at my house," said Wufei. "I refuse to watch grown men fight with sticks over a piece of rubber."
"It's about strategy and finesse," argued Duo.
"It's Neanderthals armed with clubs taking out their hostilities on each other," countered Wufei.
"You just don't understand the dynamics of team sports," said Duo, folding his arms.
"I understand teamwork," said Wufei. "I work with people every day."
"Prove it by letting me watch the hockey finals," said Duo.
"I've been out-maneuvered by Maxwell," sighed Wufei. "I must be getting prematurely senile."
Duo laughed and claiming the remote control, settled down on the sofa and started channel surfing.
The door buzzed a while later and Wufei went to greet Heero.
"Come in," he said, bowing slightly. Heero grunted a greeting and strode past Wufei into the living room where Duo was pounding a pillow and cheering as his team racked up another goal.
Heero grabbed the remote off the arm of the sofa and clicked off the television. Duo gave him a searing look from under his brows.
"Hey, that was the finals," he protested.
Heero looked at him quizzically. "Nani?" he asked.
"Forget it," grumbled Duo. "What's goin' on?"
"I came here to warn you, we may have an information leak at Preventors headquarters," said Heero.
"A mole?" asked Duo, leaning forward.
"Perhaps, or more likely, one of our homes may have been infiltrated and bugged," said Heero. "The Red Fist seems to have access to information gathered by our agents, somehow. Two agents we sent were anticipated and almost captured on L-4 today. One was wounded eluding capture."
"The Red Fist," repeated Duo. "That's the name of those nut jobs that threatened Quat?"
"Yes," said Heero. "They're the ones that hijacked the weapons we were developing. From now on, information must be strictly safeguarded, until we find the leak. No talking about cases with anyone with a low security clearance or on unsecured lines." He looked hard at Duo.
"Hey, I can keep my mouth shut," said Duo defensively.
"Hn, I didn't notice hell freezing over," said Heero, deadpan.
"It must be, because you and Wufei both made jokes tonight," said Duo. "I'm expecting the Apocalypse at least. Scary."
"Would you like some tea, Heero?" asked Wufei politely. "Duo and I were going to have some."
Duo made a face. "I hate tea," he said. "I'll have a beer though," he hinted hopefully.
"No thank you would suffice," said Wufei, scolding Duo a little. "Beer it is."
Heero shook his head. "Thank you, no," he said, standing up. "I'll be lucky to get much sleep tonight, I have to make an emergency trip to L-4."
Wufei gave him an inquiring look. "You're replacing the wounded agent?"
Heero nodded and looked at his watch, "I don't want to miss my shuttle, so I must go."
They all said short good-byes and Duo lunged for the remote as Wufei walked Heero to the door.
Shanghai Lu jumped into Duo's lap as he settled in for the last few minutes of the hockey game. "Shit!" said Duo, looking at the score. "What happened guys?" he yelled at the screen. "We were winning 10 minutes ago!"
"Niayouu!" said the cat, butting her head up hard against Duo's chest.
"Hey kitty, what you want?" asked Duo, absently stroking the cat's head as she continued rubbing on him.
"Niayouu!" said the cat, meowing more frantically.
"You got a problem?" asked Duo facetiously. The cat suddenly nipped Duo's thumb, not hard, but to get his attention.
His attention now on the cat, she jumped down and then looked behind as if asking Duo to follow her. He stood up, and the cat led him in to the den.
"You got a catnip mouse in here you want me to get for you?" guessed Duo. The cat was still acting weird, meowing frantically and jumped up onto the bookshelf.
"Duo?" He heard Wufei's voice calling from the living room.
"I'm in the den," said Duo, feeling a little foolish. "I followed the cat."
"The cat?" asked Wufei, coming in.
"She wanted me to follow her," said Duo. Wufei snorted in disbelief.
"No, seriously," said Duo. "She kept bugging me until I followed her."
"Niayouuu!" said the Siamese insistantly, nudging a book with her head.
"She just wants to feast on another of my books," said Wufei in aggravated tones.
He reached up to grab the cat and hissed in pain as she expertly nailed him with her claws.
"Bad cat!" said Wufei, automatically sticking his punctured finger in his mouth.
"Let me get her," said Duo, reaching up. "Here kitty," he said in a coaxing voice.
The cat flattened her ears and Duo pulled back his hand. "I wonder what's up there that she doesn't want us getting?" he asked out loud.
"There's a step ladder in the kitchen," said Wufei. "Let's take a look."
Coming back momentarily with the stepladder, Wufei climbed up and looked at the top shelf where the cat was perched.
"What the hell?" he uttered, peering around the animal, who proceeded to jump down the shelves with superhuman agility and run out of the room.
"What is it?" asked Duo.
"Some sort of small plastic box with wires coming out of it," said Wufei.
"Holy shit!" said Duo, "What do you think it is?"
"I don't know," said Wufei. "But I sure as hell didn't put it there."
The two men looked at each other. "You think it's a bomb?" asked Duo quietly.
"Not likely," said Wufei, in a low voice. "More like surveillance equipment of some sort."
"A bug?" asked Duo.
"More than likely," said Wufei. "But, I'm going to look over every inch of this house and see if there's anything else."
Duo gritted his teeth. "Whaddya wanna bet my house has a few of these little babies hidden in it too?"
Wufei nodded grimly. "Someone has gone to some effort to spy on us."
"No shit," said Duo.
3 hours later, two more of the devices had been located by Wufei and Duo.
After checking carefully to make sure there were no booby traps, Duo, armed with a pair of wire cutters, disabled the devices.
"Now, our unknown friends will know we know they've been spying on us," said Wufei.
Duo was busy opening one small box with a screwdriver. "No visual, looks like audio pickup only. Hopefully, they'll just think something went wrong with their equipment."
"Well, that's a relief," said Wufei, recalling some of his and Sally's recent activities in the den and the other rooms.
"Yeah, the bad guys heard all the screams and moans, but no visual, I bet that pissed em off." Duo aimed a big perverted grin at his friend.
Wufei groaned, "Disgusting!" he said, shaking his head.
"What unnerves me is when and how this was planted," he said.
"Well, you're gone most days, so is Sally," said Duo. "Easy enough to slip in under the security system, wire up these little babies and leave. I bet the cat saw it all. Too bad she can't talk."
"Well, she seemed to communicate with you rather well," said Wufei.
"Yeah, smart kitty. She knew something was weird and wanted me to check it out, I guess."
"I can't believe I owe a debt of gratitude to that creature," said Wufei.
"All of us," said Duo. "This is the security leak that Heero and Une were worried about."
"Wait until Sally hears her spoiled rotten baby is a heroine," said Wufei sighing and folding his arms, "I'll never hear the end of it."