Wufei and the Shanghai Terror
Chapter 7
Fear
"You know," said Duo, leaning back at a precarious angle in his office chair, "there is one way to get Sally to quit babying that cat."
"What?" asked Wufei reluctantly. He started to internally count how many seconds it would take Duo to lose his balance and fall flat on his back again.
"Easy," said Duo. "Just have a baby, then she'll forget all about the stupid cat."
"Huh?" Wufei remarked, looking at Duo over the top of his reading glasses.
"You heard me, ugh!" Duo yelled, as he lost his balance and found himself lying on his back with his legs in the air.
"Third time this week," remarked Wufei dryly. "And a new record, only took you 6 seconds."
"It's pitiful that this is your only source of amusement," said Duo, struggling to right himself.
"Need help?" asked Wufei smugly.
"Bite me," said Duo, finally rolling over on his side and getting to his feet.
"Back to the baby thing.." began Duo, righting his chair again and plunking himself into it.
"What has that got to do with me and the blasted cat?" asked Wufei. He absently rubbed two healing scratches on the back of his right arm.
"Well, I figure the cat is a substitute for a baby, and if she had a real baby to fuss over, she would start treating the cat like, well, a cat."
"What kind of crackpot theory is that?" asked Wufei, irritably. He was working on a particularly boring report that was supposed to have been done yesterday.
"I dunno," said Duo. "Since Hilde got pregnant, she can't seem to think of anything else, so I figured..."
"Do you get these ideas off the darker corners of the internet, or do you cook them up in that sad excuse for a brain of yours?" asked Wufei, re- typing the same sentence 3 times.
"Just because you and Hilde had an 'accident' of the parental kind, you want everyone else to have one too?"
"Hell, you don't have to insult me just because you're scared of the idea of having a kid," said Duo.
"I am not 'scared' of anything of the sort," said Wufei, finally slamming his laptop shut.
"I'm going to lunch," he announced, standing up and flinging off his glasses impatiently.
"But, it's only 11:00!" said Duo. Wufei ignored him and stalked off.
"I'm telling Une," he sang in a taunting voice and skipped out of Wufei's office down the hall.
Wufei found himself walking outside a few minutes later, taking deep calming breaths and decompressing.
His cell phone rang. "Duo, I'll be there in a minute!" he said in to the device in an exasperated tone.
"This isn't Duo," said a familiar female voice. "Having a bad day?" asked Sally.
"You might say that," he said hesitantly.
"Can you get away early?"
"I think so, is something wrong?" he asked resignedly.
"Why do you think that?" Sally asked him.
"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "Is there?'
"No, not really," said Sally.
"What does that mean?"
"Why are you being so negative?"
"I'm not being negative."
"Yes, you are!"
"I am not!"
"Oh, just cram it and be home by 3:30, okay!"
"Sally?"
"She hung up!" he muttered in surprised tones.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wufei looked at the clock. 3:00 p.m. "I'm taking off early," he said to Duo.
"Good, you need to go home and get seriously de-stressed," said Duo. "If you know what I'm talkin' bout." He winked lasciviously.
Wufei groaned. "Is that ALL you ever think about?" he asked.
"Pretty much," said Duo. "I'm 21, male, healthy, and that's fairly normal from what I understand."
"I have a headache," sighed Wufei, rubbing his temples and leaning back in his chair.
"Stress," said Duo, nodding wisely to himself as he bent paper clips into strange shapes.
"Oh, shut up," said Wufei, abruptly, slamming his briefcase closed and standing toleave.
"Have a nice day!" yelled Duo facetiously, as Wufei left.
15 minutes later, he pulled into the driveway.
As he went to open the front door, it opened ahead of him.
"Feeling better?" asked Sally. She was dressed in something lacy and red, but his mind barely took in the details.
"Not really," he sighed. "Bad day."
"Oh," said Sally, dumbly.
"You never did tell me why you wanted me to come home early," he said, dropping his things uncharacteristically on the floor near the door and then sitting down heavily in an armchair to take off his boots. He sat them aside and leaned back with a loud exhalation into the softness of the chair.
"It can wait," said Sally.
He shrugged.
"Whatever, I have a damn headache anyway," he grumbled.
"Take two aspirin and call me in the morning," Sally joked.
He glared at her. "Not funny."
"Sorry," she said, coming up behind him. "Maybe I can help."
She reached around and loosened his tie, and then unbuttoned several shirt buttons.
"Better?" she asked.
"Not really," he muttered. "I was planning on doing that anyway."
"Grump," she exclaimed softly. "How about this?" She began to gently massage his tense shoulders.
He made a wordless sound of approval. "Is that a yummy noise I hear?" she asked.
"Uh-huh," he replied, closing his eyes.
"If you take this off, it's even better," she said, fingering his uniform shirt.
He hurriedly shrugged out of it, pulling impatiently at the buttons.
Sally began to rub his neck.
"Ah, right there," he said, sinking down into the chair.
After about 10 more minutes, he was getting a little drowsy.
He reached up and stilled Sally's hand. "That's enough, you must be getting tired."
"I'm fine," she protested.
"If I get anymore relaxed, you'll have to carry me to bed," he said with a faint smile.
She came around and sat on his lap. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she said.
"Why do I have the feeling I'm being fattened for the kill?" said Wufei, slipping his arms around her and inhaling the light perfume she was wearing. Jasmine, he thought in a distant corner of his foggy brain.
"Don't be so suspicious," said Sally, placing a kiss on his hair. "Can't I be nice to you for no reason at all?"
"Perhaps," he admitted reluctantly.
"I do have something I need to discuss with you," said Sally, "but it can wait."
"Might as well spit it out," he said, "I'm not going to get any more relaxed than I am right now."
"All right," said Sally, taking a deep breath. "It has to do with Lu."
"The cat?" asked Wufei, slightly puzzled.
"Yes, I was thinking that I'm spoiling her."
"You think?"
"No need to be sarcastic," Sally remarked.
"All right," he agreed. "So, we finally agree you've been spoiling the cat."
"But," continued Sally, "the real question is, Why am I spoiling the cat?"
"I don't know, Why?" he asked dryly, raising his brows.
"Well," she hedged, "I'm beginning to think it's become a substitute for something I've been wanting and haven't admitted to myself. Until recently."
"And that is, what?" he asked. "The need to harbor an assassin?"
"Are you making fun of me?" asked Sally, "Because I'm trying to be serious here."
"Sorry," he said. "I've been hanging around Maxwell too much, and I had a lousy day to boot."
"I think you were capable of being sarcastic a long time before you met Duo."
"Yes, but its so easy to blame him for my shortcomings. And so rewarding."
"Are you going to let me finish?"
"All right," he sighed. "Since my leg is falling asleep, I guess I should let you finish."
"I could sit somewhere else."
"No, you're fine right here, just shift a little. Ah, there, that's better."
"Now that your leg is out of danger, I want to talk to you about starting a family."
"What?"
"I'm sure you heard me, I'm only 2 inches from your ear."
"You want to have a b-bab-child?" he stuttered.
"Did you just stutter?"
"No."
"Yes you did."
"If I did, it's only because Duo Maxwell was right about something."
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just that Duo told me this afternoon if we had a baby, then you wouldn't have to treat the cat like one."
"That's actually very perceptive of him."
"Hey, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile."
"Wufei!"
"I'm sorry, this just destroys my whole concept of Duo Maxwell as an pony- tailed pestilential pain in the posterior."
"Quit avoiding the subject."
"You mean the b-baby subject."
"You stuttered again. Does that mean I should drop it?"
"Ah, no, I'm just a bit taken aback. Is this one of those 'my biological clock is ticking like a time-bomb' female things?"
"Um, yes, something like that. I do hate to remind you of this, but I am 4 years older than you. Actually, 3 years and 5 months, but..."
"I know," he said. "You'll be 25 in 2 months."
"I'm not saying I'm ancient, Wufei, but I know women, professional women like myself who wait until they're in their 30's and 40's to do this and I'm not sure I want to wait that long."
He was quiet, idly playing with a strand of her long blond hair. "Do I have to answer you tonight?" he finally said.
"Of course not!" Sally said. "Take as long as you want. Within reason, of course. Before menopause would be nice."
He grunted. "Always joking," he muttered.
"Is it really that much of a surprise that I'd want to have a family someday?"
"No," he said, "I simply assumed we would someday. I always intended with.." He stopped himself. "I mean, with Meiran, the expectation was that we would have children. It was the main reason we were even married."
"I'm not trying to force any "expectations" upon you, Wufei." Sally stood, and went to sit opposite him.
"I know. To be honest, I'm still somewhat at a loss when it comes to considering the future," he said gravely.
"Things are different now. Maybe it would help you feel like part of a family again, did you ever think of that?"
He looked at her sadly. "I try not to think of that."
"But you must, sometimes," she whispered.
"As a doctor, you should know the danger of reopening old wounds," he said, more sharply than he intended.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
He shifted uncomfortably. "No, I'm sorry," he said. "This isn't your problem, its mine. If I weren't so weak, I'd not be afraid to consider what you're wanting." He hung his head and stared at the floor.
"Maybe this was the wrong time to bring this up," Sally stood up. "You haven't even had dinner, and here I am bothering you about something we have plenty of time to work out." She gave him a falsely cheerful smile and began to walk over to the vidphone.
"We're both a little tired, why don't I call for some takeout, and we'll eat. You'll feel better when you've had something to eat." She punched in a number and Wufei looked at the floor while she made a short call.
She finished and sat down. "Well, I guess I'd better change into something more suitable. I don't want to scare off the delivery man." She laughed, a high forced noise and went in the direction of the bedroom.
"Please don't hate me, Sally," he whispered when she left.
He got up and stretched, trying to loosen the stiffness that had returned to his neck and shoulders, but it didn't help much.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he said aloud.
He walked down the hallway to splash some cold water on his face. As he walked by the bedroom door, he heard a muffled sound.
"Damnit!" he hissed when he realized what it was. Sally, who wouldn't shed a tear with a bullet in her leg, was crying her eyes out in the bedroom.
"I'm such a bastard!" he said to himself.
"Sally?" he said, raising his voice to be heard through the door.
"Please, I want to be alone," she said in a choked voice. "Please, it's nothing, I'm just being silly. I'll be fine, just leave me alone."
He tried the door. "Sally unlock this door right now."
"NO!" she said, sounding more angry now than upset.
"You hate me, don't you?" he yelled through the door.
"Just leave me the hell alone!" she yelled back. "No I don't hate you. Now go away!"
"If you don't hate me, then open the goddamned door!" he shouted. "I'll kick it in, you know I'm not bluffing!" he warned.
"Oh, go to hell!" Sally screamed at him. "Go screw yourself, go take a long walk off a short spacedock, go jump off a cliff, just leave me alone!"
"Is this one of those female things?" he asked, suddenly.
"Oh shut up, you impossible jackass!" she yelled.
"I knew it!" he yelled back. "Well, I'm not going to stand here yelling at you like an idiot just because your hormones are in a snit!"
"I've got a gun," said Sally through the door, "and you know I know how to use it."
"Oh, puleeze!" he scoffed. "That's it, you're being totally irrational now. I'm kicking down this door."
"Don't you dare, you, you, MAN!" Sally shrieked.
"I'm counting to five, and then, I'm doing it," said Wufei. "One."
"Oh, you wouldn't dare!" said Sally again.
"Two!" he said, taking a deep breath.
"You're kidding, right?" said Sally, uncertainly.
"Three!" he crowed, stretching out his leg muscles to prepare for the kick.
"OH, come on!" Sally yelled through the door.
"FOUR!" he said. "No, I'm not kidding!" he added. "You know better, woman!"
"Okay okay, I'm opening the door," said Sally. "You win!"
"FIVE!" said Wufei, not hearing that last remark.
Sally opened the door just as Wufei yelled and propelled his body into a full spinning kick which collided with... thin air.
Unfortunately for Wufei, the third law of thermodynamics was still in effect and the momentum of his kick drove him squarely into the laquered cabinet across from the door, which splintered quite nicely, leaving the floor littered with jade knick-knacks, glass and broken china pieces.
"Very nice," said Sally dryly. "Are you injured?"
"No," said Wufei stubbornly, spitting out a little blood from the inside of his cheek.
"Feel better now that you've destroyed the evil curio cabinet?" she asked sarcastically.
"Yes," he said, standing up, "much better. Don't just stand there, get me a broom, woman," he said with as much dignity as he could muster.
The doorbell rang. "Be right back," she said sweetly, grabbing her purse. Now less alluringly attired in blue sweats, she went to answer the door.
Sally came back several minutes later with a broom and a dustpan.
"Here," she said, handing it to him.
He quietly went to work sweeping up what was left of the cabinet doors and other assorted ornamental bits of now-rubbish.
"Sally," he said, after he was done and sitting on a chair next to the bed.
"What, dear?" she said calmly.
"I'm sorry I'm such a bastard," he said.
"I know you are," she said to him. "But I forgive you."
He nodded and exhaled. "I'm sorry I broke your cabinet, and some of your porcelain collection."
"I know."
"I'm sorry I'm scared to have a b-baby with you," he whispered.
"I know, Wufei. It's all right."
"I'll work on it, all right, I mean, I want to, I just have to get used to the idea."
"Yes, dear," Sally said gently.
"Are you hungry?"
He nodded wordlessly.
"Don't move!" warned Sally.
"What!" he asked, alarmed.
"Lu is under your chair, ready to pounce!" she whispered.
She walked casually over and before the cat could jump on Wufei's unsuspecting feet, she snatched up the cat in her arms.
"Bad girl!" she hissed at Lu. "No biting Wufei's toes!"
Wufei almost snickered as the cat flattened her ears and glared at Sally.
"Thank you," he said seriously. "I hate it when she attacks my bare toes."
Sally took the cat and opening the spare bathroom door, set her down inside and quickly shut it behind her.
"Lets say we have dinner without the Shanghai Terror stalking you for once," she said, smiling.
"I'd love that," he said, holding out his arms to Sally.
"Then we can make up," she said, coming over and embracing him.
"I'd love that," he said again, smiling.
Chapter 7
Fear
"You know," said Duo, leaning back at a precarious angle in his office chair, "there is one way to get Sally to quit babying that cat."
"What?" asked Wufei reluctantly. He started to internally count how many seconds it would take Duo to lose his balance and fall flat on his back again.
"Easy," said Duo. "Just have a baby, then she'll forget all about the stupid cat."
"Huh?" Wufei remarked, looking at Duo over the top of his reading glasses.
"You heard me, ugh!" Duo yelled, as he lost his balance and found himself lying on his back with his legs in the air.
"Third time this week," remarked Wufei dryly. "And a new record, only took you 6 seconds."
"It's pitiful that this is your only source of amusement," said Duo, struggling to right himself.
"Need help?" asked Wufei smugly.
"Bite me," said Duo, finally rolling over on his side and getting to his feet.
"Back to the baby thing.." began Duo, righting his chair again and plunking himself into it.
"What has that got to do with me and the blasted cat?" asked Wufei. He absently rubbed two healing scratches on the back of his right arm.
"Well, I figure the cat is a substitute for a baby, and if she had a real baby to fuss over, she would start treating the cat like, well, a cat."
"What kind of crackpot theory is that?" asked Wufei, irritably. He was working on a particularly boring report that was supposed to have been done yesterday.
"I dunno," said Duo. "Since Hilde got pregnant, she can't seem to think of anything else, so I figured..."
"Do you get these ideas off the darker corners of the internet, or do you cook them up in that sad excuse for a brain of yours?" asked Wufei, re- typing the same sentence 3 times.
"Just because you and Hilde had an 'accident' of the parental kind, you want everyone else to have one too?"
"Hell, you don't have to insult me just because you're scared of the idea of having a kid," said Duo.
"I am not 'scared' of anything of the sort," said Wufei, finally slamming his laptop shut.
"I'm going to lunch," he announced, standing up and flinging off his glasses impatiently.
"But, it's only 11:00!" said Duo. Wufei ignored him and stalked off.
"I'm telling Une," he sang in a taunting voice and skipped out of Wufei's office down the hall.
Wufei found himself walking outside a few minutes later, taking deep calming breaths and decompressing.
His cell phone rang. "Duo, I'll be there in a minute!" he said in to the device in an exasperated tone.
"This isn't Duo," said a familiar female voice. "Having a bad day?" asked Sally.
"You might say that," he said hesitantly.
"Can you get away early?"
"I think so, is something wrong?" he asked resignedly.
"Why do you think that?" Sally asked him.
"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "Is there?'
"No, not really," said Sally.
"What does that mean?"
"Why are you being so negative?"
"I'm not being negative."
"Yes, you are!"
"I am not!"
"Oh, just cram it and be home by 3:30, okay!"
"Sally?"
"She hung up!" he muttered in surprised tones.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wufei looked at the clock. 3:00 p.m. "I'm taking off early," he said to Duo.
"Good, you need to go home and get seriously de-stressed," said Duo. "If you know what I'm talkin' bout." He winked lasciviously.
Wufei groaned. "Is that ALL you ever think about?" he asked.
"Pretty much," said Duo. "I'm 21, male, healthy, and that's fairly normal from what I understand."
"I have a headache," sighed Wufei, rubbing his temples and leaning back in his chair.
"Stress," said Duo, nodding wisely to himself as he bent paper clips into strange shapes.
"Oh, shut up," said Wufei, abruptly, slamming his briefcase closed and standing toleave.
"Have a nice day!" yelled Duo facetiously, as Wufei left.
15 minutes later, he pulled into the driveway.
As he went to open the front door, it opened ahead of him.
"Feeling better?" asked Sally. She was dressed in something lacy and red, but his mind barely took in the details.
"Not really," he sighed. "Bad day."
"Oh," said Sally, dumbly.
"You never did tell me why you wanted me to come home early," he said, dropping his things uncharacteristically on the floor near the door and then sitting down heavily in an armchair to take off his boots. He sat them aside and leaned back with a loud exhalation into the softness of the chair.
"It can wait," said Sally.
He shrugged.
"Whatever, I have a damn headache anyway," he grumbled.
"Take two aspirin and call me in the morning," Sally joked.
He glared at her. "Not funny."
"Sorry," she said, coming up behind him. "Maybe I can help."
She reached around and loosened his tie, and then unbuttoned several shirt buttons.
"Better?" she asked.
"Not really," he muttered. "I was planning on doing that anyway."
"Grump," she exclaimed softly. "How about this?" She began to gently massage his tense shoulders.
He made a wordless sound of approval. "Is that a yummy noise I hear?" she asked.
"Uh-huh," he replied, closing his eyes.
"If you take this off, it's even better," she said, fingering his uniform shirt.
He hurriedly shrugged out of it, pulling impatiently at the buttons.
Sally began to rub his neck.
"Ah, right there," he said, sinking down into the chair.
After about 10 more minutes, he was getting a little drowsy.
He reached up and stilled Sally's hand. "That's enough, you must be getting tired."
"I'm fine," she protested.
"If I get anymore relaxed, you'll have to carry me to bed," he said with a faint smile.
She came around and sat on his lap. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she said.
"Why do I have the feeling I'm being fattened for the kill?" said Wufei, slipping his arms around her and inhaling the light perfume she was wearing. Jasmine, he thought in a distant corner of his foggy brain.
"Don't be so suspicious," said Sally, placing a kiss on his hair. "Can't I be nice to you for no reason at all?"
"Perhaps," he admitted reluctantly.
"I do have something I need to discuss with you," said Sally, "but it can wait."
"Might as well spit it out," he said, "I'm not going to get any more relaxed than I am right now."
"All right," said Sally, taking a deep breath. "It has to do with Lu."
"The cat?" asked Wufei, slightly puzzled.
"Yes, I was thinking that I'm spoiling her."
"You think?"
"No need to be sarcastic," Sally remarked.
"All right," he agreed. "So, we finally agree you've been spoiling the cat."
"But," continued Sally, "the real question is, Why am I spoiling the cat?"
"I don't know, Why?" he asked dryly, raising his brows.
"Well," she hedged, "I'm beginning to think it's become a substitute for something I've been wanting and haven't admitted to myself. Until recently."
"And that is, what?" he asked. "The need to harbor an assassin?"
"Are you making fun of me?" asked Sally, "Because I'm trying to be serious here."
"Sorry," he said. "I've been hanging around Maxwell too much, and I had a lousy day to boot."
"I think you were capable of being sarcastic a long time before you met Duo."
"Yes, but its so easy to blame him for my shortcomings. And so rewarding."
"Are you going to let me finish?"
"All right," he sighed. "Since my leg is falling asleep, I guess I should let you finish."
"I could sit somewhere else."
"No, you're fine right here, just shift a little. Ah, there, that's better."
"Now that your leg is out of danger, I want to talk to you about starting a family."
"What?"
"I'm sure you heard me, I'm only 2 inches from your ear."
"You want to have a b-bab-child?" he stuttered.
"Did you just stutter?"
"No."
"Yes you did."
"If I did, it's only because Duo Maxwell was right about something."
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just that Duo told me this afternoon if we had a baby, then you wouldn't have to treat the cat like one."
"That's actually very perceptive of him."
"Hey, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile."
"Wufei!"
"I'm sorry, this just destroys my whole concept of Duo Maxwell as an pony- tailed pestilential pain in the posterior."
"Quit avoiding the subject."
"You mean the b-baby subject."
"You stuttered again. Does that mean I should drop it?"
"Ah, no, I'm just a bit taken aback. Is this one of those 'my biological clock is ticking like a time-bomb' female things?"
"Um, yes, something like that. I do hate to remind you of this, but I am 4 years older than you. Actually, 3 years and 5 months, but..."
"I know," he said. "You'll be 25 in 2 months."
"I'm not saying I'm ancient, Wufei, but I know women, professional women like myself who wait until they're in their 30's and 40's to do this and I'm not sure I want to wait that long."
He was quiet, idly playing with a strand of her long blond hair. "Do I have to answer you tonight?" he finally said.
"Of course not!" Sally said. "Take as long as you want. Within reason, of course. Before menopause would be nice."
He grunted. "Always joking," he muttered.
"Is it really that much of a surprise that I'd want to have a family someday?"
"No," he said, "I simply assumed we would someday. I always intended with.." He stopped himself. "I mean, with Meiran, the expectation was that we would have children. It was the main reason we were even married."
"I'm not trying to force any "expectations" upon you, Wufei." Sally stood, and went to sit opposite him.
"I know. To be honest, I'm still somewhat at a loss when it comes to considering the future," he said gravely.
"Things are different now. Maybe it would help you feel like part of a family again, did you ever think of that?"
He looked at her sadly. "I try not to think of that."
"But you must, sometimes," she whispered.
"As a doctor, you should know the danger of reopening old wounds," he said, more sharply than he intended.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
He shifted uncomfortably. "No, I'm sorry," he said. "This isn't your problem, its mine. If I weren't so weak, I'd not be afraid to consider what you're wanting." He hung his head and stared at the floor.
"Maybe this was the wrong time to bring this up," Sally stood up. "You haven't even had dinner, and here I am bothering you about something we have plenty of time to work out." She gave him a falsely cheerful smile and began to walk over to the vidphone.
"We're both a little tired, why don't I call for some takeout, and we'll eat. You'll feel better when you've had something to eat." She punched in a number and Wufei looked at the floor while she made a short call.
She finished and sat down. "Well, I guess I'd better change into something more suitable. I don't want to scare off the delivery man." She laughed, a high forced noise and went in the direction of the bedroom.
"Please don't hate me, Sally," he whispered when she left.
He got up and stretched, trying to loosen the stiffness that had returned to his neck and shoulders, but it didn't help much.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he said aloud.
He walked down the hallway to splash some cold water on his face. As he walked by the bedroom door, he heard a muffled sound.
"Damnit!" he hissed when he realized what it was. Sally, who wouldn't shed a tear with a bullet in her leg, was crying her eyes out in the bedroom.
"I'm such a bastard!" he said to himself.
"Sally?" he said, raising his voice to be heard through the door.
"Please, I want to be alone," she said in a choked voice. "Please, it's nothing, I'm just being silly. I'll be fine, just leave me alone."
He tried the door. "Sally unlock this door right now."
"NO!" she said, sounding more angry now than upset.
"You hate me, don't you?" he yelled through the door.
"Just leave me the hell alone!" she yelled back. "No I don't hate you. Now go away!"
"If you don't hate me, then open the goddamned door!" he shouted. "I'll kick it in, you know I'm not bluffing!" he warned.
"Oh, go to hell!" Sally screamed at him. "Go screw yourself, go take a long walk off a short spacedock, go jump off a cliff, just leave me alone!"
"Is this one of those female things?" he asked, suddenly.
"Oh shut up, you impossible jackass!" she yelled.
"I knew it!" he yelled back. "Well, I'm not going to stand here yelling at you like an idiot just because your hormones are in a snit!"
"I've got a gun," said Sally through the door, "and you know I know how to use it."
"Oh, puleeze!" he scoffed. "That's it, you're being totally irrational now. I'm kicking down this door."
"Don't you dare, you, you, MAN!" Sally shrieked.
"I'm counting to five, and then, I'm doing it," said Wufei. "One."
"Oh, you wouldn't dare!" said Sally again.
"Two!" he said, taking a deep breath.
"You're kidding, right?" said Sally, uncertainly.
"Three!" he crowed, stretching out his leg muscles to prepare for the kick.
"OH, come on!" Sally yelled through the door.
"FOUR!" he said. "No, I'm not kidding!" he added. "You know better, woman!"
"Okay okay, I'm opening the door," said Sally. "You win!"
"FIVE!" said Wufei, not hearing that last remark.
Sally opened the door just as Wufei yelled and propelled his body into a full spinning kick which collided with... thin air.
Unfortunately for Wufei, the third law of thermodynamics was still in effect and the momentum of his kick drove him squarely into the laquered cabinet across from the door, which splintered quite nicely, leaving the floor littered with jade knick-knacks, glass and broken china pieces.
"Very nice," said Sally dryly. "Are you injured?"
"No," said Wufei stubbornly, spitting out a little blood from the inside of his cheek.
"Feel better now that you've destroyed the evil curio cabinet?" she asked sarcastically.
"Yes," he said, standing up, "much better. Don't just stand there, get me a broom, woman," he said with as much dignity as he could muster.
The doorbell rang. "Be right back," she said sweetly, grabbing her purse. Now less alluringly attired in blue sweats, she went to answer the door.
Sally came back several minutes later with a broom and a dustpan.
"Here," she said, handing it to him.
He quietly went to work sweeping up what was left of the cabinet doors and other assorted ornamental bits of now-rubbish.
"Sally," he said, after he was done and sitting on a chair next to the bed.
"What, dear?" she said calmly.
"I'm sorry I'm such a bastard," he said.
"I know you are," she said to him. "But I forgive you."
He nodded and exhaled. "I'm sorry I broke your cabinet, and some of your porcelain collection."
"I know."
"I'm sorry I'm scared to have a b-baby with you," he whispered.
"I know, Wufei. It's all right."
"I'll work on it, all right, I mean, I want to, I just have to get used to the idea."
"Yes, dear," Sally said gently.
"Are you hungry?"
He nodded wordlessly.
"Don't move!" warned Sally.
"What!" he asked, alarmed.
"Lu is under your chair, ready to pounce!" she whispered.
She walked casually over and before the cat could jump on Wufei's unsuspecting feet, she snatched up the cat in her arms.
"Bad girl!" she hissed at Lu. "No biting Wufei's toes!"
Wufei almost snickered as the cat flattened her ears and glared at Sally.
"Thank you," he said seriously. "I hate it when she attacks my bare toes."
Sally took the cat and opening the spare bathroom door, set her down inside and quickly shut it behind her.
"Lets say we have dinner without the Shanghai Terror stalking you for once," she said, smiling.
"I'd love that," he said, holding out his arms to Sally.
"Then we can make up," she said, coming over and embracing him.
"I'd love that," he said again, smiling.