Wufei and the Shanghai Terror
Chapter 9
The Two Terrors
"Bad Shen!" said Mei, grabbing her baby brother by the ankle as he tried to dive under her bed.
"Kitty!" said Shen.
Shanghai Lu, now an expert in avoiding over-zealous tots, clung determinedly to the bottom of the bed, meowing pitifully.
"Mu," Mei yelled, "Shen is trying to grab the kitty again!"
"Shen, no-no!" said Sally, running into Mei's bedroom.
Shen pouted, 'no' not being one of his favorite words at the age of two, unless it was him uttering it.
"Mu!" he stomped his small foot, crossed his arms and scowled. Sally had to bite her lip to keep from grinning at the overwhelming resemblance to her husband in a foul mood.
"Mei, could you give him your kitty?" asked Sally. She knew that reasoning with a two-year old was pointless (also with husbands) and distraction was the better part of parenting toddlers.
"MU!" cried Mei. "I ALWAYS have to give him my kitty!" She was referring to her favorite stuffed animal, a now slightly raggedy Siamese cat.
"You know you'll get it back, sweetie," said Sally pleadingly.
"Unfair!" said Mei. "Being the oldest stinks!"
"Okay, I guess we'll have to let him cry," said Sally.
"All right," Mei sulked. "I'll give him the damn kitty!"
"MEI!" said Sally.
"Ba says it all the time," said Mei defensively.
"That doesn't mean little girls should say it," said Sally to the five-year old.
"I wish I were a big man like Ba so I could say anything I want!" said Mei, stomping over to the shelf to get her toy cat.
"And I wouldn't have to give Shen my kitty, either!"
"Just because you're big doesn't mean you get your own way about everything," said Sally.
"I know," said Mei. "You have to whip butt too!" She grinned widely.
"Where did you hear that?" asked Sally, already guessing.
"Solo Maxwell told me," said Mei. "He said 'butt'." She giggled.
"I guess I'll have to talk to Solo's mother about that," said Sally.
"Solo knows lots of words I'm not allowed to say," said Mei in a conspiratorial tone.
"I'll bet," said Sally dryly.
"Here, Shen, play with Mei's kitty," said Sally, coaxing him from trying to crawl under his sister's bed.
"Kitty!" said Shen, grabbing the be-draggled stuffed toy and poking at its button eyes.
"Shen doesn't know how to be nice yet," said Mei. "He's mean to Lu."
"So were you when you were two," said Sally. "That's why we got you Kitty."
"I was not," said Mei. "I was never as dumb as Shen."
"I hate to tell you, Miss Smarty Pants, but you were," Sally told her.
Shen walked over to his sister and held out the toy. "Kitty?" he said.
"See, Shen can be nice," said Sally.
"He's just tired of it," said Mei. "Ew, he got Shen slobber on poor Kitty."
She wiped the toy of on the bottom of her T-shirt.
"He's always in my room, bugging me," said Mei, rolling her eyes.
"He likes you," said Sally. Shen, taking his cue, grabbed Mei around the waist and gave her an enthusiastic hug.
"Well, he is kind of cute sometimes," said Mei, grudgingly. She patted his shaggy black hair. He blinked solemnly up at her with large dark eyes.
"Don't ask me, young lady," said Sally. "I think he's adorable."
"You have to," said Mei, "You're his mom."
"True," said Sally. "But, I'm your mom too, and so I think you're adorable as well."
"Yuck," said Mei.
"I'll take Shen so you can try to get Lu out from under your bed," said Sally.
"Yeah, make him take a nap or something," said Mei. "Don't babies need naps?"
"I wish," said Sally, sighing. "Come on, Terror, let's find you something to do."
"Cookie?" asked Shen hopefully.
"Okay, a cookie it is," said Sally.
"Ba's home," said Mei, coming out of her room with Lu in her arms.
Sally looked at the clock.
"Too early," said Sally.
"I saw his car out of my window," said Mei. "Everyone hide!"
"Mei!" said Sally, trying to hide a grin. "Just because your father is home early doesn't mean anything is wrong."
"Yeah, right," said Mei. "Run, Lu, Ba's coming," she whispered to the cat, who high-tailed it to one of her favorite hiding places.
"BA!" said Shen, looking around. "Well at least someone's happy about it," said Sally.
Wufei came in the door and slammed it so hard, the china in the cupboard rattled.
"That's it, I'm resigning tomorrow, first thing!" he yelled, throwing down his Preventor's jacket on a nearby chair. "There is no goddamn way I am working with Maxwell another day."
"Wufei!" said Sally, quickly covering Shen's ears. He gave her a puzzled look and keep eating his cookie.
Mei grinned. "Told you." She flipped her long braid over her shoulder and strutted off.
"Goddamn," she whispered, giggling and went into her room.
"What happened now?" said Sally, sitting down with Shen on her lap still gnawing away on his cookie. At least three-quarters of it managed to actually get in his mouth. He was a very neat two-year old.
"Do you know what that ben dan did today?" asked Wufei.
"Um, no, that's why I asked," said Sally calmly.
"He deleted all of my report files for the last 3 months!" Wufei exploded.
"Do you know how long it's going to take me to duplicate all of those!"
"No?" asked Sally carefully.
"AT least a WEEK!" exclaimed Wufei. "A week of nothing but reconstructing reports from vaguely grammatical notes written by field agents who don't know their ass from their elbow!"
Shen smiled a messy grin at him and offered his father his half-eaten cookie.
"Would you like a cookie?" asked Sally with mock gravity.
Wufei looked at her dumbfounded for a full minute.
"Cookie?" asked Shen, still smiling hopefully.
"Uh, no thank you, Shen," said Wufei quietly.
"You can have one of your own," said Sally sweetly. "And some tea."
"I don't think it will help," said Wufei, rubbing the back of his neck.
"It usually works for Shen," said Sally. "It's worth a try."
"Okay, I'll have some tea," said Wufei, finally.
"Is Ba through going ballistic?" asked Mei, coming into the kitchen.
"Yes, I'm through going ballistic," said Wufei, frowning at her slightly.
"Kids are so disrespectful anymore," he complained to no one in particular.
"I bet your parents said the same thing," said Sally, setting a cup of strong tea in front of him.
"Humph" said Wufei. "I'll have you know I was a perfectly well-behaved child."
Mei giggled.
"I was," Wufei insisted, sipping his tea. "I would have never laughed at my elders."
"Didn't they ever do anything funny?" asked Mei, curiously.
"Well, yes, um, no, I can't remember," said Wufei, slightly flustered.
"All the grownups I know do funny stuff all the time," she said thoughtfully.
"Mrs. Gardner, my teacher, makes a funny sound when she blows her nose."
"Maybe she has allergies," said Sally.
"Maybe she's allergic to smart aleck kids," said Wufei, looking pointedly at Mei.
"I don't think that's possible," said Mei seriously.
"Can you be allergic to a person, Mu?" she asked her mother.
"No, not really," said Sally, giving Wufei an old-fashioned look.
"Too bad, that might have worked with Maxwell," said Wufei, sighing resignedly. "I could have gotten a medical transfer to another department."
"Solo says his dad works with some cranky guy," said Mei, "Is that you, Ba?"
Wufei said nothing, taking a long sip of his tea.
"Solo and I are going to get married," said Mei, smiling brightly.
Wufei choked, and tea almost came out of his nose.
"Never!" he said, and got up. "I'm going to take a nice hot bath," he said. "Nobody talk to me for at least an hour!"
"I'll hide the razors," said Sally, getting up quickly to follow him.
The End
Chapter 9
The Two Terrors
"Bad Shen!" said Mei, grabbing her baby brother by the ankle as he tried to dive under her bed.
"Kitty!" said Shen.
Shanghai Lu, now an expert in avoiding over-zealous tots, clung determinedly to the bottom of the bed, meowing pitifully.
"Mu," Mei yelled, "Shen is trying to grab the kitty again!"
"Shen, no-no!" said Sally, running into Mei's bedroom.
Shen pouted, 'no' not being one of his favorite words at the age of two, unless it was him uttering it.
"Mu!" he stomped his small foot, crossed his arms and scowled. Sally had to bite her lip to keep from grinning at the overwhelming resemblance to her husband in a foul mood.
"Mei, could you give him your kitty?" asked Sally. She knew that reasoning with a two-year old was pointless (also with husbands) and distraction was the better part of parenting toddlers.
"MU!" cried Mei. "I ALWAYS have to give him my kitty!" She was referring to her favorite stuffed animal, a now slightly raggedy Siamese cat.
"You know you'll get it back, sweetie," said Sally pleadingly.
"Unfair!" said Mei. "Being the oldest stinks!"
"Okay, I guess we'll have to let him cry," said Sally.
"All right," Mei sulked. "I'll give him the damn kitty!"
"MEI!" said Sally.
"Ba says it all the time," said Mei defensively.
"That doesn't mean little girls should say it," said Sally to the five-year old.
"I wish I were a big man like Ba so I could say anything I want!" said Mei, stomping over to the shelf to get her toy cat.
"And I wouldn't have to give Shen my kitty, either!"
"Just because you're big doesn't mean you get your own way about everything," said Sally.
"I know," said Mei. "You have to whip butt too!" She grinned widely.
"Where did you hear that?" asked Sally, already guessing.
"Solo Maxwell told me," said Mei. "He said 'butt'." She giggled.
"I guess I'll have to talk to Solo's mother about that," said Sally.
"Solo knows lots of words I'm not allowed to say," said Mei in a conspiratorial tone.
"I'll bet," said Sally dryly.
"Here, Shen, play with Mei's kitty," said Sally, coaxing him from trying to crawl under his sister's bed.
"Kitty!" said Shen, grabbing the be-draggled stuffed toy and poking at its button eyes.
"Shen doesn't know how to be nice yet," said Mei. "He's mean to Lu."
"So were you when you were two," said Sally. "That's why we got you Kitty."
"I was not," said Mei. "I was never as dumb as Shen."
"I hate to tell you, Miss Smarty Pants, but you were," Sally told her.
Shen walked over to his sister and held out the toy. "Kitty?" he said.
"See, Shen can be nice," said Sally.
"He's just tired of it," said Mei. "Ew, he got Shen slobber on poor Kitty."
She wiped the toy of on the bottom of her T-shirt.
"He's always in my room, bugging me," said Mei, rolling her eyes.
"He likes you," said Sally. Shen, taking his cue, grabbed Mei around the waist and gave her an enthusiastic hug.
"Well, he is kind of cute sometimes," said Mei, grudgingly. She patted his shaggy black hair. He blinked solemnly up at her with large dark eyes.
"Don't ask me, young lady," said Sally. "I think he's adorable."
"You have to," said Mei, "You're his mom."
"True," said Sally. "But, I'm your mom too, and so I think you're adorable as well."
"Yuck," said Mei.
"I'll take Shen so you can try to get Lu out from under your bed," said Sally.
"Yeah, make him take a nap or something," said Mei. "Don't babies need naps?"
"I wish," said Sally, sighing. "Come on, Terror, let's find you something to do."
"Cookie?" asked Shen hopefully.
"Okay, a cookie it is," said Sally.
"Ba's home," said Mei, coming out of her room with Lu in her arms.
Sally looked at the clock.
"Too early," said Sally.
"I saw his car out of my window," said Mei. "Everyone hide!"
"Mei!" said Sally, trying to hide a grin. "Just because your father is home early doesn't mean anything is wrong."
"Yeah, right," said Mei. "Run, Lu, Ba's coming," she whispered to the cat, who high-tailed it to one of her favorite hiding places.
"BA!" said Shen, looking around. "Well at least someone's happy about it," said Sally.
Wufei came in the door and slammed it so hard, the china in the cupboard rattled.
"That's it, I'm resigning tomorrow, first thing!" he yelled, throwing down his Preventor's jacket on a nearby chair. "There is no goddamn way I am working with Maxwell another day."
"Wufei!" said Sally, quickly covering Shen's ears. He gave her a puzzled look and keep eating his cookie.
Mei grinned. "Told you." She flipped her long braid over her shoulder and strutted off.
"Goddamn," she whispered, giggling and went into her room.
"What happened now?" said Sally, sitting down with Shen on her lap still gnawing away on his cookie. At least three-quarters of it managed to actually get in his mouth. He was a very neat two-year old.
"Do you know what that ben dan did today?" asked Wufei.
"Um, no, that's why I asked," said Sally calmly.
"He deleted all of my report files for the last 3 months!" Wufei exploded.
"Do you know how long it's going to take me to duplicate all of those!"
"No?" asked Sally carefully.
"AT least a WEEK!" exclaimed Wufei. "A week of nothing but reconstructing reports from vaguely grammatical notes written by field agents who don't know their ass from their elbow!"
Shen smiled a messy grin at him and offered his father his half-eaten cookie.
"Would you like a cookie?" asked Sally with mock gravity.
Wufei looked at her dumbfounded for a full minute.
"Cookie?" asked Shen, still smiling hopefully.
"Uh, no thank you, Shen," said Wufei quietly.
"You can have one of your own," said Sally sweetly. "And some tea."
"I don't think it will help," said Wufei, rubbing the back of his neck.
"It usually works for Shen," said Sally. "It's worth a try."
"Okay, I'll have some tea," said Wufei, finally.
"Is Ba through going ballistic?" asked Mei, coming into the kitchen.
"Yes, I'm through going ballistic," said Wufei, frowning at her slightly.
"Kids are so disrespectful anymore," he complained to no one in particular.
"I bet your parents said the same thing," said Sally, setting a cup of strong tea in front of him.
"Humph" said Wufei. "I'll have you know I was a perfectly well-behaved child."
Mei giggled.
"I was," Wufei insisted, sipping his tea. "I would have never laughed at my elders."
"Didn't they ever do anything funny?" asked Mei, curiously.
"Well, yes, um, no, I can't remember," said Wufei, slightly flustered.
"All the grownups I know do funny stuff all the time," she said thoughtfully.
"Mrs. Gardner, my teacher, makes a funny sound when she blows her nose."
"Maybe she has allergies," said Sally.
"Maybe she's allergic to smart aleck kids," said Wufei, looking pointedly at Mei.
"I don't think that's possible," said Mei seriously.
"Can you be allergic to a person, Mu?" she asked her mother.
"No, not really," said Sally, giving Wufei an old-fashioned look.
"Too bad, that might have worked with Maxwell," said Wufei, sighing resignedly. "I could have gotten a medical transfer to another department."
"Solo says his dad works with some cranky guy," said Mei, "Is that you, Ba?"
Wufei said nothing, taking a long sip of his tea.
"Solo and I are going to get married," said Mei, smiling brightly.
Wufei choked, and tea almost came out of his nose.
"Never!" he said, and got up. "I'm going to take a nice hot bath," he said. "Nobody talk to me for at least an hour!"
"I'll hide the razors," said Sally, getting up quickly to follow him.
The End