Hidden Smiles, Forgotten Memories

Chapter Four

He heard the laughter without seeing the face. It confused him, it surprised him, it would make him angry, but for just a moment he stopped and listened to it and he smiled, a small discrete smile, he hoped he hid well from the world, but he didn't even realize to think that until it was gone and he remembered.... He knew as he listened that he should be angry, furious in fact, but sometimes he had missed that laughter, when it first left his life he craved it desperately. He would wake up thinking she was in the room with him or feeling invisible fingertips touch his back. It was never her though, it was just leftovers from a dream he couldn't remember, he remembered so very few of his dream;, however, the doctors swore to him he did dream, they just didn't know why he almost never remembered them.

"Hey is that smile for me?"

He almost didn't notice Courtney walking towards him; he was so caught up in his thoughts and just listening to the continuous laughter. He recovered quickly and said the words he knew would make her happy "Every smile is for you." He was becoming good at the things he hated, the pointlessness of the world, but it pleased her.

"Who would have known I married such a sweet talker?" She pressed her lips softly to his, but then as she pulled back asked "Is that AJ?" She groaned "Ugh, what a perfect way to end my oh-so fabulous day" she finished sarcastically. "Let's avoid a confrontation and not walk through the park"

He almost started to walk with her, but then he stopped and turned back, towards the voices…

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Robin and AJ looked up from their spots on the red and white checkered picnic blanket with a first shocked and then outraged expressions. It took Jason a moment to even see AJ though, at first all he saw was Robin smiling expression, how else was he supposed to respond to it, especially since it had been caused by AJ. There was something else he noticed just before AJ began his tirade and that was a baby sitting in a carrier. Whose baby was that? Robin rushed to comfort the infant who had started crying immediately

"What the hell is wrong with you Jason? AJ jumped to his feet and looked down at Robin soothing the infant.

Jason looked at Robin again who now had the baby in her arms; an engagement ring reflected the sun at him, was there also a wedding ring below it? He looked at AJ again, he didn't say anything, Courtney didn't say anything, mostly because she had no idea what was going on. He looked down to AJ's hand; he didn't know why he looked, why would Robin and AJ get married? Besides from hurting him that is, he saw a ring there. Why was there a ring there?

"Yea that's right Jason, Robin and I are married. That's our daughter, your niece, her name's Amanda."

Robin looked up from the baby and at the two brothers who looked ready to go to war "AJ" she said in a slightly pleading tone, she didn't want him antagonizing Jason.

Courtney looked down with her confused blue eyes and stared at the girl holding the child, she looked younger than herself, how was that possible? Her eyes still retained that innocence that she knew she was losing at a frightening rate. She felt herself being taken in by this girl, but then she remembered Carly telling her about her, she'd used that innocence to manipulate Jason and ultimately caused him to lose Michael.

Jason looked down at Robin again "You married him?" he was inches away from losing control.

She hated seeing him mad at her; she had never wanted to see him like this again, once was more than enough.

"Leave Robin alone Jason" AJ said forcefully "We're married, we're living in Port Charles so you better get used to seeing us."

Robin continued to look like a deer caught in the headlights, she knew that this would happen; she thought she'd been prepared for it, but she wasn't. You can never truly be prepared for this.

"You married AJ" he didn't question it this time and his tone had lowered quite a bit.

She nodded

"Why?"

"Why do people normally get married Jason?" AJ asked from next to him, Jason turned his head, ready to deck his brother.

As the two brothers stood eye to eye she was shocked by their similarities, she had almost forgotten were brothers after everything that had happened. "Don't" she was surprised to find her voice at all, she was more surprise at how forceful it sounded, not timid at all. "It's not like that Jason, I can't make you think it is."

Both of the men looked down at her, Courtney looked around for a seat, today was proving to be just too much.

"Robin" AJ began

She shook her head "I know we decided to not tell anyone the truth, but I can't…I can't let you think I betrayed you Jason, I know that's how you're seeing this. It's not payback or anything like that. The past is in the past; at least it is for me."

AJ looked annoyed at that statement "I did not do this for revenge"

Robin laughed at his little boy tone, "I didn't say you did. Jason, AJ and I got married for custody of Amanda."

He looked down once more at the little girl asleep in Robin's arms; she couldn't be more than a few weeks old.

"My friend Sarah had cancer three years ago, they got it into remission, and she thought everything was fine, but they found it had returned when she was five months along. She had a choice the baby or try to fight the cancer again and the doctors didn't give her much hope for beating it this time."

He looked down at the baby again, so incredibly glad Robin and AJ hadn't come together to create her "What about her father?"

"Walked out when Sarah found out she was pregnant."

Anger surged though Jason as he heard that, he didn't realize he wasn't alone and every time AJ heard it too he wanted to track the guy down and smash his faced in.

"Sarah hated her family; she didn't want them to get the baby, so she asked me."

"If she gave you guardianship why did you marry him?" he glared at his brother and wondered how they could even have genes in common.

"When we told the lawyer about her parents and my medical condition she said they would win in court." She saw the look on his face, the confusion, the unfairness of it all "That's how the world is Jason, it sucks but it is. I told AJ and he offered to help, so we got married 3 months ago. AJ's been flying back and forth keeping up the pretense of us being a married couple."

Jason just looked at her, looked at her pleading eyes begging his forgiveness when even he knew there was nothing to forgive her for. He wondered sometimes, only sometimes what would have happened if he had done what she wanted and let Carly and Michael live apart from him. He knew more now than he did then, he knew just how unfair it truly was, so much could have been different. He felt Courtney's hand slip into his and he saw the hurt Robin was unable to hide and he shockingly didn't feel better. "Well then," he spoke "let me be the first to congratulate you on living a lie." He left them staring at him and knew right away he'd made a mistake.