[We fade back in from commercial to a shot of the Quick Stop, then we see a
shot of Dante walking behind a short brick wall, wearing a yellow shirt,
and his hair is oddly comic strip like. Piano jazz plays in the background.
Get it yet? YOU MORON! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE CHARLIE BROWN!! I HATE YOU! I
HOPE YOU DIE! ::pops a pill::]
Dante: [walking up to a lemonade-stand like thing that reads "Lesbians for Hire".] Randal, why don't you go work at the video store? Working is good. Getting more money for a more effective lesbian shop, at least.
Randal: [dressed like a magician] This is effective enough. This kid gave fifty cents to bring his mom to the dark side... good deal. I bought gum with it.
Dante: You don't even register that there, do you?
Randal: Register what? [cartoon thought bubble showing an old Mickey Mouse Cartoon.]
Dante: [sighs] I have better things to do. [walks off, with the Charlie Brown music playing, to the Quick Stop]
[As Dante enters the Quick Stop, and we angle away to Jay and Silent Bob outside of RST, acting somewhat odder than usual. Silent Bob's jacket is gone, and his beard is gone. I know. His beard is gone.]
Jay: Lunchbox, you seem different today.
Silent Bob: Well, aren't YOU cute.
Jay: Oh, man, that's so gay.
Silent Bob: I am gay, Jay. [Dark music plays, because Silent Bob said more than one thing. Silent Bob begins to foam pink out the mouth.]
Jay: Spooky. [We see the cartoon's film break at this point, and Randal walks into the light of scene, Jay's face disappearing.
Randal: Little did I know that my lesbian power was infectious. Silent Bob's sister gave old Bob the gays. And we had to figure this out for ourselves.
[Music does a slow start, and we're inside the Quick Stop. Dante is writing on a pad, just so we can make him do something while the plot thickens. We can see the window clearly behind him, and all the people in the background are foaming pink, or are backing away nervously from the pink people. I love stereotypes.]
Dante: [Hears a noise] It's unusually quiet today. [The bell hanging on the door rings, a couple seconds later, a customer puts some stuff up on the counter, and Dante rings him up. We don't see the customer.] Thanks, come again.
[The angle shifts to see Leonardo Leonardo, foaming pink.]
L.L: Oh, I'll be back for you, sugar. [Dante screams and runs out of the Quick Stop.]
[We're back at the Lesbian Stand, and Randal is lying back, and is quite comfortable.]
Dante: Is there a virus going around or something?
Randal: No. Look who's lying about a virus now. [Sips from a soda as Plug walks to Randal, clutching an unconscious L.L]
Plug: Please, help Leonardo! He's caught the plague! If any of my life support systems can help -
Randal: HAH! I got you, robot! [He tackles Plug, and there's a off-screen cartoon scuffle, as Dante looks on.]
[Plug has seemed to beaten him up pretty good, and tied his Inspector- Gadget like arms around him.]
Plug: [Voice is lower, and his eyes are red.] Randal Graves, it is time to stop this. Randal: What the hell are you talking about? [Silent Bob and Steve-Dave walk to Randal, holding hands.]
Randal: I always knew Steve-Dave was gay, but isn't Silent Bob married?
Dante: Don't you get it yet!? The Lesbian service you started is beginning a gay planet, and if we don't do something, I just might --- [He falls on one knee, dark music playing, he rises] have to take you on a date, lovely. [Pink foam.]
Randal: Wait, I thought Dante was already gay. Hmm. Well, let's see. [Plug lets him go.] Klaatu, verata, ni...oh, crap. What's the last word? [Plug smacks forehead.] Ah!
[Angle changes to be more dynamic, with Randal in most of the shot. He raises his arms.]
Randal: KLAATU..VERATA...NIC [coughs, and there's a tiny little puff of smoke comes from his hand, and he holds a porn magazine] God loves me.
Plug: How do we stop this gayness?
Randal: I dunno. Ask the old lady. [Old Lady walks up.]
Old Lady: The only one who can stop it is the one who is immune from the homosexuality! [Dramatic]
Dante: Who would be that lovely kid? [Fade to commercial.]
Dante: [walking up to a lemonade-stand like thing that reads "Lesbians for Hire".] Randal, why don't you go work at the video store? Working is good. Getting more money for a more effective lesbian shop, at least.
Randal: [dressed like a magician] This is effective enough. This kid gave fifty cents to bring his mom to the dark side... good deal. I bought gum with it.
Dante: You don't even register that there, do you?
Randal: Register what? [cartoon thought bubble showing an old Mickey Mouse Cartoon.]
Dante: [sighs] I have better things to do. [walks off, with the Charlie Brown music playing, to the Quick Stop]
[As Dante enters the Quick Stop, and we angle away to Jay and Silent Bob outside of RST, acting somewhat odder than usual. Silent Bob's jacket is gone, and his beard is gone. I know. His beard is gone.]
Jay: Lunchbox, you seem different today.
Silent Bob: Well, aren't YOU cute.
Jay: Oh, man, that's so gay.
Silent Bob: I am gay, Jay. [Dark music plays, because Silent Bob said more than one thing. Silent Bob begins to foam pink out the mouth.]
Jay: Spooky. [We see the cartoon's film break at this point, and Randal walks into the light of scene, Jay's face disappearing.
Randal: Little did I know that my lesbian power was infectious. Silent Bob's sister gave old Bob the gays. And we had to figure this out for ourselves.
[Music does a slow start, and we're inside the Quick Stop. Dante is writing on a pad, just so we can make him do something while the plot thickens. We can see the window clearly behind him, and all the people in the background are foaming pink, or are backing away nervously from the pink people. I love stereotypes.]
Dante: [Hears a noise] It's unusually quiet today. [The bell hanging on the door rings, a couple seconds later, a customer puts some stuff up on the counter, and Dante rings him up. We don't see the customer.] Thanks, come again.
[The angle shifts to see Leonardo Leonardo, foaming pink.]
L.L: Oh, I'll be back for you, sugar. [Dante screams and runs out of the Quick Stop.]
[We're back at the Lesbian Stand, and Randal is lying back, and is quite comfortable.]
Dante: Is there a virus going around or something?
Randal: No. Look who's lying about a virus now. [Sips from a soda as Plug walks to Randal, clutching an unconscious L.L]
Plug: Please, help Leonardo! He's caught the plague! If any of my life support systems can help -
Randal: HAH! I got you, robot! [He tackles Plug, and there's a off-screen cartoon scuffle, as Dante looks on.]
[Plug has seemed to beaten him up pretty good, and tied his Inspector- Gadget like arms around him.]
Plug: [Voice is lower, and his eyes are red.] Randal Graves, it is time to stop this. Randal: What the hell are you talking about? [Silent Bob and Steve-Dave walk to Randal, holding hands.]
Randal: I always knew Steve-Dave was gay, but isn't Silent Bob married?
Dante: Don't you get it yet!? The Lesbian service you started is beginning a gay planet, and if we don't do something, I just might --- [He falls on one knee, dark music playing, he rises] have to take you on a date, lovely. [Pink foam.]
Randal: Wait, I thought Dante was already gay. Hmm. Well, let's see. [Plug lets him go.] Klaatu, verata, ni...oh, crap. What's the last word? [Plug smacks forehead.] Ah!
[Angle changes to be more dynamic, with Randal in most of the shot. He raises his arms.]
Randal: KLAATU..VERATA...NIC [coughs, and there's a tiny little puff of smoke comes from his hand, and he holds a porn magazine] God loves me.
Plug: How do we stop this gayness?
Randal: I dunno. Ask the old lady. [Old Lady walks up.]
Old Lady: The only one who can stop it is the one who is immune from the homosexuality! [Dramatic]
Dante: Who would be that lovely kid? [Fade to commercial.]