A Week in the Life of Final Fantasy IX - Chapter Three
Me: It's still day one is it? (grumbles) Damnit, I was hoping the week was over already. Why the hell did I take the job of authoring this story? Eiko-Chan could've taken this job, but I had to take it from my mortal enemy so she wouldn't get paid…. Grr.. (notices the camera zooming in on her) Ehehe… today's disclaimer person is…. Steiner!
Steiner: Lady Eiko-Chan1, how might you be this lovely morning?
Me: o___0 Fine thanks Steiner. Could you just do the disclaimer?
Steiner: It's good to hear that you are in good condition.
Me: DO THE FREAKING DISCLAIMER!
Steiner: Oh, I'm great, thank you. Nice of you to ask!
Me: SECURITYYYYYY! (watches the security march in and drag Steiner away, who is still chatting away to thin air)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Eiko/Barney: Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination -
Zidane/Dagger/Amarant/Vivi/Cid/Artania/Steiner: MAKE HER STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!
(suddenly, a spear appears, flying into Eiko/Barney's head, piercing a hole in it, Eiko jumps out of the suit, leaving the dying man in the suit there)
Spear Throwing Person: Alright is everyone?
Dagger: It must be Freya Crescent of Burmecia!
Spear Throwing Person: Knowing Freya you do? (comes out from the shadows)
Vivi: It's… Quina? What the hell?
(the gang is amazed that Quina saved them, but even more amazed that Vivi "swore")
Quina: (nods, making his tongue wiggle and wobble) I so happy!
Dagger: Ewwww! You can see bits and pieces of dead frogs in his mouth and on his tongue! Grossness!
Yuffie: (whacks Dagger on the head with her shuriken) That's MY line girlie!
Dagger: Um… Oh! My! Grossness!
Yuffie: (ponders) Hm… a bit better… but still… (whacks her on the head again)
Dagger: OW! You stupid cow! (tackles Yuffie and begins beating the life out of her)
Zidane: Catfight! Meow!
(everyone's attention is broken from the dying guy in the Barney suit)
Yuffie: Buttonhole!
Dagger: It's butthole, stupid! (slaps her across the face)
Eiko: YOU BIG POOPS! (jumps in on both of them)
Zidane: If Freya were here, Beatrix too, the whole gang would be here, not to mention they could join in this catfight.
Beatrix: (walks in holding three triplets, who are doing something… inside her dress o_0) Honey! (jumps into Steiner's arms, dropping the three babies on their heads)
Baby #1: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (crawls over to Steiner and up his armour leg)
Baby #2: (fights Baby #3 for a position back in mummy's arms) Heeeeeeeeeeeyyya!
Beatrix: Ohh, my bubby wubby poo, you weren't hurt by the biggy wiggy monster in the purple wurple suit were you? [A/N: She's not talking about the kids either!]
Steiner: Sweet cheeks, it wounded me!
Beatrix: Where art thou wounded, knight of my heart?
Steiner: My brain is wounded. Barney's terrible singing rotted it.
Eiko: Oh give it a rest. Even I wasn't this lovesick over Zidane.
Zidane: You liked me? (completely clueless)
Eiko: IT WAS MOG! (hides behind a scarred Yuffie)
Mog: Ku… ku…kupopo!
Zidane: (swoons and pulls Mog into his arms) Moggy woggy poo! I knew you loved me too!
Dagger: What about me, you doofus? (kicks him where the sun don't shine)
Zidane: (scathingly) What about you? You have Quina!
Dagger: Oh yes, I almost forgot. I love the scent of frogs on his breath! (leaps on Quina's back)
Quina: (licks Dagger's hair) I so happy!
Dagger: (shudders) Zidane, I want you back, baby.
Mog: KUPOOO! (I love you Quina!)
Zidane: (as Mog continuously bounces on his head) DAGGER!
(Zidane and Dagger jump at each, but miss and fall on the floor)
Zidane/Dagger: Ouchies…
Cid: Anyway, our problem ahead is, well, I'm afraid *sniff* Cloud Strife is back.
Everyone: Cloud Strife?
Cid: Er… I meant Harry Potter.
Steiner: NOT HARRY POTTER! HE HAS POWERS THAT SURPASS THE PRINCESS!
Dagger: Queen.
Steiner: Queen whom?
Dagger: I am QUEEN Garnet, not Princess. I told you that in the last chapter.
Steiner: (clicks the back button and scrolls upwards) Oh yes. I see. Sorry.
Dagger: Apology accepted.
Vivi: Gnarly man.
Beatrix: Vivi?
Vivi: Wazzup dudette?
Beatrix: So, Regent Cid, how do we defeat this Harry Potter? (salutes)
Cid: Well…..
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A/N: How will the FFIX Gang be able to defeat Harry Potter? Is Amarant over puke? Is Eiko still a bit Barney? Find out in the next episode of Dragon Ball Z! (reads cue cards again) I meant to say A Week in the Life of Final Fantasy IX! R-E-V-I-E-W!!!! {{{I'm really sorry if the fonts and HTML tags are screwed}}}