"Heartless Beings"
by Bennu
For Tomo Trillions, January, and - of course - Ann V.
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I stare into this mirror so tired of this life
If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you but I never meant like this
No, I never meant like this...

--Stabbing Westward, "Shame"


The spiral staricase is something He found in the SEEDs archive, a human design from some sort of ancient signal tower. Despite its low origins, he found a passion for it, and it was built. A black wrought-iron serpent, twisting up a pillar to his quarters, every step a inlaid with ember-colored enamels in eight-legged shapes that no one climbing can avoid without making a conscious effort to. I do no such thing.

Every spider is crushed fully under my feet, and every spider has the name of a sin.

He is angry with me, as usual. I have failed Him in every possible way; I deserve no less than His boiling contempt.

His rage is palatable.

"Why?" He snarls, His boot catching me in the ribs. "Why have you not yet brought my brother to me?" A psychic blow slams me into the wall. He crouches over me, my head grabbed roughly between His hands, the white specks of a coming cuncussion dancing over His features. "Your failure is disturbing, Legato. Why is this taking so long? He should be here with me now, and it should be him under me instead of you... If I did not know better, Legato, I would say it was your hesitation that is causing me this greif..."

He is so close, I can feel His breath on my cheek, burning and clean. I open my mouth to whisper a denial that I would ever knowingly increase His already horrible load of suffering, and that I will bring His errant brother to Him soon - but no coherent sound emerges, because His lips are brushing mine, and His warm tongue is probing... Oh God, He's kissing me -

"Oh, Vashu," He breathes, breaking away, stroking my hair. "Vashu, my beloved, my only, won't you come back to me? Where are you, Vashu? Can't you feel my pain... I want you so badly..."

Ah, yes. I am the replacement. He was kissing Vash the Stampede, not me. Never me. I do not even deserve to think of such a thing, to think of Him debasing himself as if with an animal...

But it seems if I have. My whole being is trembling, my parted lips issuing forth a moan, my body and mind and heart and whatever soul I might yet have crying out for Him, for just one more kiss, for Him to just whisper my name in that lusting, otherworldly voice...

He senses my thoughts. Standing, an imperious glare on His face once more, He delivers another kick, slowly and deliberately crushing the ball of His foot against my groin and twisting. I gasp in pain, falling over and curling around myself, shivering because I'm still on fire from His sensuous touches, tears pricking behind my eyes becuase it fucking hurts...

"My brother," He says plainly, the spitting growl implied by His words. "You are to leave immediately, taking the Hornfreak with you. My brother is to come back. You will not fail me, Legato Bluesummers - " He truly did spit out my name, it landed next to me on the cold metal floor, like baggage being tossed out of a steamer - "because you exist only to die, and you cannot die until I am whole again."

The toe of a boot nudges under my chin, lifting my head to face Him. The light is directly behind Him, limning Him in gold, casting shade across His face - except for the slitted glow of His icy eyes. "So, why do you exist, human?"

"To die," I whisper.

"And why do you die?"

"To please you, Master."

"And what would please me even more?"

"The return of Vash-sama to you, Master."

"What is your mission, then, you insect?"

"Eternal pain and suffering to Vash the Stampede."

He smiles.