Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Spoilers: Nothing specific, set mid third season.
A/N: Each chapter is told from a different point of view. I owe enormous thanks to M and J who are two wonderful beta readers.
DEATH IS A part of my profession, yet this was the first time I ever saw anyone die. I wasn't prepared for it. It was different. That is all I can say to describe it. It is one of the things that cannot be described one has to live it. When Greg died right there, my holding his hand, it was unreal. My mind understood what had happened. It was a series of logical steps, one following the other.
Greg had been shot, he had died, but somehow I could not process it. Truth be told, I was scared, more than ever before. Not specifically scared, because of the situation I was in, all though that did play a part for sure. But seeing Greg being terrified, seeing him die was something I was not prepared for. I don't know how long I just sat there, still holding his hand.
I sat there frozen up, lost in thoughts and unable to move. Suddenly yanking on my arm interrupted my thoughts. A young woman had violently pulled me to my feet. She had a gun in the other hand. Seldom had the sight of a firearm frightened me that much. I even carry a gun myself. I put on the holster beginning of my shift. But seeing a gun in her hand was what triggered a wave of fear. It wasn't pointed at me, but it was enough. My shock over Greg's death had prevented me from realizing in what kind of situation Grissom and I were. Seeing her gun brought it to my mind.
"Over there in the corner," the woman commanded. When I didn't immediately move, she raised her gun. I noticed her arms shaking. "Move or I'll shoot you, just like him," She inclined her head as to indicate Greg's body on the floor. It was as if fear was paralyzing me. I never thought that could happen to me, it happened only to other people.
The next thing I know is Grissom pulling me over to the corner, dragging me away from the door. As always there was no obvious emotion on his face, but I think I saw the ripples beneath.
He would never admit it, but he wasn't prepared for that either, though he was trying hard not to show it. But I think that Gil Grissom was scared. Scared at being shown how powerless he is, and ultimately scared to die. He's only human too, I'm seeing that now. He shows no emotions, and I used to believe that he really didn't have them. He probably has suppressed them long enough, but they are still there.
tbc