Author: Vogue Low

Rating: R for sexual themes, yaoi and slight language, but probably not very much at all.

Full Summary:

What if Vegeta and Goku's roles were switched at the Freeza saga? What if Vegeta had defeated Freeza instead of Goku, and turned SSJ, and contracted the Ice-jin heart virus? Vegeta holds the power to kill everyone and everything…but why hasn't he…??

Why does he want me!!??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess I admire him. His entire life and childhood was filled with torture and pain and war, atleast that's what I suspect. Finally he's become the super saiya-jin of legend, exactly like he set out to do from the very beginning. I can't help feel jealousy, though. All my life I have also tried to out do the odds, reach the limits.

What will Vegeta do now that he's become the legendary super saiya-jin…..?

I can imagine a million things. Blow up the Earth. Kill all of us. Steal the dragon balls. I know now that, with his new power after defeating Freeza, he can do absolutely anything he wants, and no one will be able to get in his way. Not even me, Earth's 'trusted savior'..

I feel so helpless, and all I can do is sit and wait and see what he's going to do to the people of Earth which I love….

~~~~~

It all started one ordinary day. It happened in only a few months into the three year period of preparation for the androids. Gohan, Piccolo and I had just gotten back home after a difficult day of training.

I'll always remember that day. The sun was setting as it painted the sky in magnificent purples, pinks and blues. We were all quiet as we opened the door of the house. The smell of cooked fish filled the house as we entered. Piccolo gave out an annoyed groan as we entered.

ChiChi was seated at the table with a frown on her face. " where have you been!? " She stalked up from the table towards the three of us, but she was glaring at me. This happens every time I'm late for anything; even just a few minutes.

ChiChi planted her hands on her hips and got nearly chest-to-chest with me. " I'm allowing Gohan to fight with you and that abomination Piccolo! atleast you could try to be on time for dinner!"

Piccolo and Gohan stood quietly behind me. I, however, am unfazed. " ChiChi, " I say quietly, " We were only late a couple of minutes! I'm sorry, but--"

" But nothing!" Screeched ChiChi, twirling around and sitting back at the dinner table. I stood still staring at her. Why..? Why did she have to be like this all of the time? What have I ever done to her?

Piccolo and Gohan glance at me before stepping around me to the dinner table. I could see that Piccolo had not taken the word 'abomination' lightly, and was giving Chichi a sharp, suggestive glance as he picked at the fish.

I'm still standing in the hallway, too carried away with my thoughts to venture to the dinner table. //Maybe ChiChi isn't the one for me after all..?//

Just then a swift knock comes from outside the front door. Slowly I walk to the door and open it, revealing Vegeta standing outside with a slight scowl on his face like always.

" Vegeta! " I exclaim out in surprise. He gives me a look. " Ahh--do you want to come in?" I ask, trying to be polite, though inside my heart I know that he is the last person I want to be polite to. The first time I saw him super saiya-jin, while he was fighting the boy from the future, Goten[1] I could barely believe my eyes. He looked like some sort of golden angel. I'll never forget how beautiful he looked. But somewhere inside of myself, I wish it were me who had achieved it.

I see his mouth open, as he is about to speak, but he is interrupted by ChiChi from inside. " Who is that, Goku!?'

I hesitated for a moment. " It's Vegeta!" I shouted back into the door.

" Well let him come in!! Your dinner's getting cold!" She yelled back.

I turn back to him, embarrassed by the little spectacle. " So, you want to come in? We've got lots of food. " I chuckled.

" No thanks." Vegeta said, shifting a little.

I look at him closely. He's got something suspicious in his eyes; more so than usual. He'd better not try anything funny; attacking my house would be his perfect way to end a pretty day like this.

But….deep, deep, inside, my instincts tell me Vegeta wouldn't do something so cruel like that. Even if it WAS Vegeta, after all.

" Then, what are you here for?" I ask innocently.

We stare into each others eyes for a long, long time until he finally answers me. " You."

And that's how it happened. Vegeta whisked me up and carried me ,kicking and yelling, all the way to his secluded house in a forest to the south of West City.

As we landed he set me down on the ground in front of an average sized capsule house that looked brand new. He set me down gently on my feet, but I still remember that I lost my balance and fell on my back.

As I regained my senses I noticed Vegeta was already walking over to the house. I quickly jumped to my feet and unwillingly followed him into the house.

" You'll be living with me now. Got it?" Vegeta said, turning around as I tried to close the door as quietly as possible. I jumped a little, but just stood there looking dazed at him.

I've respected this man so much in these past couple of years; I really thought he might have turned over a new leaf, like Piccolo, and Tenshinhan did. I guess I can't expect much from him anymore, though. My opinion of him has been virtually shattered into little pieces.

" Well!?" He says, raising his voice at me. I flinch again. Does this man oppose so much fear upon me that I flinch every time he talks to me?

My instincts tell me that this is the beginning of a horrible experience. My heart sinks, and I bow my head in some sort of shame to him.

" Yes, sir." I said.. hating myself, for I just sealed my fate.

~~~~~

The next few days with Vegeta weren't as bad as I had expected from the beginning. Vegeta wasn't in the house much at all. He was usually training in his gravity chamber and wouldn't come out for the entire day, only stopping training to come in and eat. Sometimes he'd leave the forest all together, to the city, and do whatever he did. There was one time where he didn't come back for two days.

However, when Vegeta wasn't around, it was boring. I'd usually go out, exploring the forest by myself. I'd also train a lot during the day, though I knew that if Vegeta caught me he'd be mad.

Sometimes I'd just sit in the house, idly doing chores, or poking around in Vegeta's things. I never really found anything interesting at all, so I stopped that quickly in the first couple of days.

Sometimes I'd just sit and nap on the couch, wasting time, or watch T.V; something I almost never used to do. Sometimes I'd go swimming out in a near by lake I'd found in the forest on one of the days he was wandering.

I, of course, cooked. It was a struggle at first, since I had no idea what I was doing when I was first put to the test with the electric stove. I burnt myself dozens of times until I finally made a decent meal, and even then Vegeta took his food and stalked back to the gravity chamber like always.

I would have thought that after becoming a super saiya-jin, he might calm down a little with his training. Wasn't his basis of training trying to become the legendary super saiya-jin? I don't get it. Maybe he's trying to push his limits and find a higher level; or, maybe, without training in his life- what does he have?

One evening I thought about this a lot while watching Invader Zim. I tried to think about all of the things Vegeta had to live for besides his training and his power. I thought and I thought, but I couldn't get to a reasonable conclusion, until it hit me one day like a brick that fell from the sky.

I am the only thing he has to live for now.

In the coming days afterwards it seemed like Vegeta started to realize this also. He became somewhat emotionally distraught. I could tell by just the look in his eyes. He spoke to me less than he usually did, and for 5 days he disappeared into the city.

I couldn't help feeling worried about him. I knew that unless I tried, Vegeta would never speak to me about anything. I am not going to fool myself and say that I hate the man. Believe it or not, he was a big part of my life before he-err-kidnapped me. Now he was basically the center of my life, and I couldn't let him be alone like this.

When he finally came back, he seemed just as worse. He didn't speak a word to me unless he wanted me to do my chores or if I had forgotten to cook. It is really a lonely state of existence..

One day at 3:15 when Vegeta was going back to the gravity machine, I did the unthinkable. I don't know why I did it. I felt so sorry for him, even though he was the man who had stolen my former life away from me.

The unthinkable. As he was about to step out the door, I reached out my hands and embraced him from behind.

I am not ashamed of what I did, though maybe I should be. I just held him. I would have held anybody if it meant having just an ounce of comfort and a feeling of something near compassion.

We just stood like that. He was so silent. I anxiously awaited the moment when he hits me or pushes me away or yells at me, but it never came.

I held him like that for a little bit more until I release him. Without a word or a second glance, he started to walk away. I reached my hand towards him, out of longing. Right there I realized that we wouldn't; and never; would turn around for me. My hand clenched and I withdrew it painfully as I heard him shut the door and fly away to the city.

~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTES

How'd you like it, ehh?? Goku's gonna encounter A LOT more pain, discomfort, rejection, and getting raped by Veggie next chapter or so. Torture's so fun -_-;;

Goku: *sniffs* I'M SO ALONE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!! *runs away to his secret place to cry*

Despite how I treat Goku-chan in this fic, I really like him…a lot….maybe too much.

[1] I thought that making Goten the time travler would make things more interesting ^^; Don't blame me, it just works into the story a lot better than Trunks.