A/N: I'm going to continue with Dark Shadows, soon in case anybody is wondering. And no, this isn't the same story. So, please R/R! I don't know how good this story is going to be, but if you guys like it, it'll be really really long! So, please, tell me whatcha think and NO FLAMES BECAUSE I IGNORE THEM COMPLETELY. *puts on Elvis voice* Thank you, Thank you very much. *cough* right.
'It's the same everyday,' Harry thought grimly. 'I get up, make breakfast, get beat by my uncle, do chores, get beat by my uncle, make dinner, get beat, go to bed.' Harry laughed bitterly to himself at the thought of it. 'There you go folks,' he thought in disgust. 'My life in a nutshell.'
There really wasn't anything to laugh at, but Harry Potter was bored out of belief. He was sick of the same old house. And if Harry didn't believe he deserved every ounce of pain, he would have left the house the day he came back. But his uncle knew something had happened and took that advantage over him to let out his rage. That, and the fact that Vernon was a complete nut case since his business had gone bankrupt. Harry Potter never had a chance if he wasn't going to use magic.
And he knew it.
Harry had changed more then mentally since his 4th year at Hogwarts. He was a lot different physically as well. His skin had
tanned out from the long hours in the sun. And, despite the constant beatings and small portions of food his 'family' liked to call meals, Harry somehow managed to get more muscular.
None of this mattered though. Harry wasn't going back to Hogwarts as far as his relatives were concerned. And right now, Harry didn't see the point in arguing. As there was no point in answering his friends letters. 'If they aren't going to read between the lines,' Harry had reasoned one day, 'Let them worry.' So Harry had sent Hedwig off to Hermoine's house to stay.
Harry was different. He was changed. And he knew that nothing anybody would do could change that. Because the one thing that Harry Potter wanted was the one thing he would never have; love.
Oh, sure. If he told his friends that they would tell him defensivly that they loved him, and Ron would point out that his family thought of him as another brother and son. Sirius would tell him he was mental and that the only thing keeping Harry from living with him was the fact most wanted him dead.
But he wanted more. He wanted parents and grandparents and siblings. He wanted to feel wanted for once; the way Dudley seems to feel every time his mom hugs him or his dad smiles proudly at him. He noticed the little things. The way Ron and Hermoine had families and seemed so...so...happy....so lucky.
'I dunno, Harry. Everything seems to happen to you, doesn't it?' Hagrids concerned face swarmed in front of his closed eyes. Harry remembered the anger he had felt at Hagrid when he had said that. Was Hagrid jealous as well? Was everyone so willing to be him that they didn't even care to look at what was really happening under their noses?
'Oh, Harry! He's jealous!' Hermoine's exasperated face showed she wished to know what it was like as well. To know what it felt like to be The Boy who lived.
'More like the boy who got killed by his drunken uncle.' Harry sighed and opened his eyes once again. He wasn't really angry at his friends. He just wished they would notice. Because he knew if he was noticed everyone would realize just how horrible his life really was. And maybe it would be better if they just stayed themselves.
But nobody bothered to find more out about the Dursleys. Not like he would have told them he was thrown around like a rag doll, but all the same. He wished they would open their eyes to see what was going on.
Harry snorted at what would happen if anybody found out about his...*ahem* 'home' life. He imagined how everyone would be disappointed in him. Disappointed in his life.
It isn't as perfect as it seemed before, is it?
And before he could stop himself, Harry Potter fell asleep were he as thrown into the world of nightmares that haunted him until he woke up and lived yet another, more real, more 'deserved', nightmare.
"BOY! GET UP" Harry darted up out of his bed half from the screams nearly giving him a heart attack and half form the nightmare. This caused him to knock his head against the wall and hurt his head further.
'Graceful, Potter.' Harry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck wearily, counting down.
"10....9.......8.......7.......6....5.....4......3........2......" Harry mumbled quietly before-
The door swung open violently causing a drunken man to swagger in. Harry was trying to calm himself in the back of his mind while trying to keep the sarcastic part to shut up.
'Drunk so early, Dursely?' he mocked in his thoughts. He wasn't stupid enough to actually talk to his uncle when he was like this.
'Just remember-it only lasts for a little while. And only one more month before someone is bound to come and pick you up for school when you don't show up for the feast. Unless they come before that, but don't get your hopes up, Potter.' And by the time the thoughts had stopped bothering him, his uncle had finished beating him and spit on to "finish the job properly."
'It's the same everyday,' Harry thought grimly. 'I get up, make breakfast, get beat by my uncle, do chores, get beat by my uncle, make dinner, get beat, go to bed.' Harry laughed bitterly to himself at the thought of it. 'There you go folks,' he thought in disgust. 'My life in a nutshell.'
There really wasn't anything to laugh at, but Harry Potter was bored out of belief. He was sick of the same old house. And if Harry didn't believe he deserved every ounce of pain, he would have left the house the day he came back. But his uncle knew something had happened and took that advantage over him to let out his rage. That, and the fact that Vernon was a complete nut case since his business had gone bankrupt. Harry Potter never had a chance if he wasn't going to use magic.
And he knew it.
Harry had changed more then mentally since his 4th year at Hogwarts. He was a lot different physically as well. His skin had
tanned out from the long hours in the sun. And, despite the constant beatings and small portions of food his 'family' liked to call meals, Harry somehow managed to get more muscular.
None of this mattered though. Harry wasn't going back to Hogwarts as far as his relatives were concerned. And right now, Harry didn't see the point in arguing. As there was no point in answering his friends letters. 'If they aren't going to read between the lines,' Harry had reasoned one day, 'Let them worry.' So Harry had sent Hedwig off to Hermoine's house to stay.
Harry was different. He was changed. And he knew that nothing anybody would do could change that. Because the one thing that Harry Potter wanted was the one thing he would never have; love.
Oh, sure. If he told his friends that they would tell him defensivly that they loved him, and Ron would point out that his family thought of him as another brother and son. Sirius would tell him he was mental and that the only thing keeping Harry from living with him was the fact most wanted him dead.
But he wanted more. He wanted parents and grandparents and siblings. He wanted to feel wanted for once; the way Dudley seems to feel every time his mom hugs him or his dad smiles proudly at him. He noticed the little things. The way Ron and Hermoine had families and seemed so...so...happy....so lucky.
'I dunno, Harry. Everything seems to happen to you, doesn't it?' Hagrids concerned face swarmed in front of his closed eyes. Harry remembered the anger he had felt at Hagrid when he had said that. Was Hagrid jealous as well? Was everyone so willing to be him that they didn't even care to look at what was really happening under their noses?
'Oh, Harry! He's jealous!' Hermoine's exasperated face showed she wished to know what it was like as well. To know what it felt like to be The Boy who lived.
'More like the boy who got killed by his drunken uncle.' Harry sighed and opened his eyes once again. He wasn't really angry at his friends. He just wished they would notice. Because he knew if he was noticed everyone would realize just how horrible his life really was. And maybe it would be better if they just stayed themselves.
But nobody bothered to find more out about the Dursleys. Not like he would have told them he was thrown around like a rag doll, but all the same. He wished they would open their eyes to see what was going on.
Harry snorted at what would happen if anybody found out about his...*ahem* 'home' life. He imagined how everyone would be disappointed in him. Disappointed in his life.
It isn't as perfect as it seemed before, is it?
And before he could stop himself, Harry Potter fell asleep were he as thrown into the world of nightmares that haunted him until he woke up and lived yet another, more real, more 'deserved', nightmare.
"BOY! GET UP" Harry darted up out of his bed half from the screams nearly giving him a heart attack and half form the nightmare. This caused him to knock his head against the wall and hurt his head further.
'Graceful, Potter.' Harry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck wearily, counting down.
"10....9.......8.......7.......6....5.....4......3........2......" Harry mumbled quietly before-
The door swung open violently causing a drunken man to swagger in. Harry was trying to calm himself in the back of his mind while trying to keep the sarcastic part to shut up.
'Drunk so early, Dursely?' he mocked in his thoughts. He wasn't stupid enough to actually talk to his uncle when he was like this.
'Just remember-it only lasts for a little while. And only one more month before someone is bound to come and pick you up for school when you don't show up for the feast. Unless they come before that, but don't get your hopes up, Potter.' And by the time the thoughts had stopped bothering him, his uncle had finished beating him and spit on to "finish the job properly."