A/N: Hum....not bad!!! I'm hoping that everyone will like this chapter. I changed a lot from the original chapter because it was too short and to the point. I hope this shows more emotion then originally written....
BTW: If any of ya'll read my other story. 'Dark Shadows,' then I need to tell you that I'm really confused. I haven't gotten a single review from the last chapter. (I took out the authors note and put a chapter in it's place which I think confused people, or I'm hoping.) I REALLY hope it didn't stink that much because if it did, drop a review(NO FLAMES) and tell me to re-do it...
So, I hope you enjoy this!!!!! This has a lot of Harry and Sirius....... PLEASE REVIEW!!!
The first thing that Harry heard when he woke up was singing. It was the song. Whoever it was knew the song as Harry did. Harry kept his eyes closed afraid that if he moved, he might never hear the singing again. He had hoped it would be his father, since the voice was most definitely a male's. But it couldn't be and Harry knew that. Harry sighed in disappointment.
He opened his eyes to see a back turned away from him. The person seemed to be doing something unable to be seen by the practically blinded Harry since his glasses had been removed. Harry tried to figure out who it was when he spotted the long black hair.
It could only be one person. Sirius.
'Sirius Black-he's after me.'
'-Harry's godfather.'
'Good. It'll make it much easier'
'YOU KILLED THEM!'
'Peter..'
And then the events from last night flashed before him. Sirius had been mad at him. Mad for not being the hero or mad that Harry wasn't as strong? Harry wasn't sure which it was. But the tone of the man's voice had indicated that he was angry about something.
"Harry!" Harry looked into the eyes of Sirius and remembered the song.
"Sirius-you were singing," the older man look startled at the teenagers statement and smiled softly.
"Yeah. Your mom used to sing that song all the time. I'm surprised you remembered it." Harry remembered why he sung it as he looked into Sirius's eyes.
"GET IN YOUR CUPBOARD!"
"Don't ask questions."
A small boy staring at the stars, crying. "Mommy! Please come back. I'm sorry!"
"You're parents hated you."
"BOY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME?"
Spit flying everywhere.
Blood.
Screams.
"Now I know why I don't remember," Harry didn't see the scared look in Sirius's eyes as his eyes slipped out of focus and he fell back unconscious for what seemed the zillionth time that week.
"Harry, come on. You can't keep falling unconscious. I'm bored outta my mind! I need somebody on my team for Quidditch besides Hermoine. Remind me to never let her try out for the house team, OK? She can't even fly half the time! She keeps falling off her broom and when she stays on it, she goes slower then a slug. Flying has got to be the one thing Hermione can never be taught," Ron was mostly talking to himself. Truth was, it was really boring and he was sick of not having his best friend around.
Harry laughed to himself as the words processed. He worked to open his eyes and as his glasses were put on, he was able to see clearly the half annoyed half relieved face of his best friend.
"Hey Ron," The raven haired boy grinned slightly and rubbed his head. Why did his scar hurt always hurt so much lately? He couldn't remember any dreams from the past few nights, but he knew they had to be bad if his scar hurt. Lost in his thoughts, Harry didn't even notice Sirius move forward.
He flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder. They withdrew quickly as if on fire and he kept his head down. He didn't want to remember anymore. This is why he had been brought to Ron's house. To be protected and get stronger. But right now, Harry felt so weak that he didn't feel like he would even be able to walk.
"Harry-" Sirius seemed to be trying to control himself. He was on the verge of an outburst. Obviously the man's temper couldn't be kept under control for long.
"Harry why don't you stop pretending?" Was he upset that the hero wasn't what he had expected? Harry braced himself for some insults, disappointment, or maybe even a hit. His scar stung stronger, he noted dully.
"Sirius-stop it." Remus could see the fear in Harry's eyes and desperately tried to make his friend shut-up for once.
"No. Harry, I can't believe you don't trust me!" A hand brought Harry's head around quickly towards the man so he was looking straight into Sirius's eyes. Harry's eyes went wide. If Sirius hated him the way Harry portrayed the scene, then he knew everyone was turning against him.
"No! Please," Harry's voice weakened as he got his head away from the hand and lowered it into his arms. Harry couldn't take it anymore; he was breaking. "Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me." The images of his deranged uncle flew before his eyes. He wouldn't be able to take anymore beatings. He was at his limit.
Nobody said a word. It was a silence that nobody even dared to breath into.
"Harry-I" Sirius didn't mean to. He wanted to hold the teenager and cry. But he felt like Harry had let himself get hurt and Sirius just didn't know why. And he couldn't stand seeing the boy so hurt that he hardly even talked anymore. What was going to happen? It was a question that Sirius found even Dumbledore couldn't answer.
Harry was crying, sobbing like a child by the time Sirius had regained his senses. Harry hadn't cried since before he could remember and he felt more vulnerable then ever. Harry knew it was dangerous and that's why he had never allowed himself this freedom before. He had to be strong for everyone, but deep down, he was too weak to carry the burden alone anymore. He just didn't know why. Did anybody?
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not the hero anymore." He had tried to pretend, tried to keep it all in, but he was cracking. The shell Harry had built around his emotions was broken. The shell had allowed Harry to feel strong yet empty. Now he was painfully full of emotions. Which was better? Through both, Harry had felt pain. The one emotion that had never gone away and the one emotion Harry knew best.
And the next thing Harry knew was that he was being hugged harder then he ever had before. He stopped crying suddenly and looked up, startled to see a mop of long black hair. Sirius was hugging him? Did that mean that he wasn't mad anymore? That Harry was again loved by the man who was closest to a father he had ever known?
"Harry, I'm so sorry." Sirius's voice was rough and tired. Harry didn't recognize it's sound. Sirius had always had a voice that was calm and reassuring most of the time. Sometimes worried, and sometimes angry. But now he heard a emotion in the voice that he had found only through the voice of Mrs. Weasly. Heartbreak.
"But Sirius- it's all my fault. It's always has been," Harry whispered. His godfathers embrace tightened and Harry felt the warmth of his breath. The breathing was unsteady, like the older man was crying. Harry didn't bother looking into his face, afraid of what he might find. Could Sirius actually cry because of what happened to him? Harry didn't believe someone would care that much.
Harry continued crying until he wore himself out and fell asleep in his godfather's protective arms. He didn't want to think right now.
A/N: Hm.... Strange. I hadn't really meant Harry to crack so early in the story. But, that doesn't mean that everything's ok. In fact, if people still like this story, I'm starting to think about what the sequel might be like.(yes, it might actually take a sequel to open up Harry just because....because I have something that'll help him). But if you people get annoyed and just want me to write THE END, then I guess I won't write a sequel.... ha..... I'm in a really strange mood right now, don't mind me. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to the reviewers of chapter 3:
Lady Foxfire: *Cracks an evil grin* I can be worse... hehe....
Alexz: I know that this isn't exactly soon....But here it is anywayz! Hope you liked it.
Sam: *Slowly backs away* Ok, don't freak out ok? Although I did enjoy the 4 'oh no's' But I'll letcha in on a little secret (Harry's in for a lot more then just not remembering)...I hope you keep liking the story and I'm sorry this took so long to get out!!(Btw: Sirius is sad, isn't he??? I'd much rather write a happy Sirius...but, oh well. Eventually I think).\
...Sam: Ok, I'm guessing that this is a different sam, so here it goes.:
Gosh, for being another Same you seem to have the same phrases, such as 'oh no.' *grins* I got 3 from you.. That makes 7 oh no's.. hm, I'm guessing I broke no record but it'd be funny if it did. I think we *all* could at some point want to kill Vernon... I just don't know how many would do it so violently... *backs up with hands in the air* If my next chapter takes long, is that what's going to happen to me?! (btw: maybe you could serve Vernon for dinner....never mind. That's disgusting.)
BTW: If any of ya'll read my other story. 'Dark Shadows,' then I need to tell you that I'm really confused. I haven't gotten a single review from the last chapter. (I took out the authors note and put a chapter in it's place which I think confused people, or I'm hoping.) I REALLY hope it didn't stink that much because if it did, drop a review(NO FLAMES) and tell me to re-do it...
So, I hope you enjoy this!!!!! This has a lot of Harry and Sirius....... PLEASE REVIEW!!!
The first thing that Harry heard when he woke up was singing. It was the song. Whoever it was knew the song as Harry did. Harry kept his eyes closed afraid that if he moved, he might never hear the singing again. He had hoped it would be his father, since the voice was most definitely a male's. But it couldn't be and Harry knew that. Harry sighed in disappointment.
He opened his eyes to see a back turned away from him. The person seemed to be doing something unable to be seen by the practically blinded Harry since his glasses had been removed. Harry tried to figure out who it was when he spotted the long black hair.
It could only be one person. Sirius.
'Sirius Black-he's after me.'
'-Harry's godfather.'
'Good. It'll make it much easier'
'YOU KILLED THEM!'
'Peter..'
And then the events from last night flashed before him. Sirius had been mad at him. Mad for not being the hero or mad that Harry wasn't as strong? Harry wasn't sure which it was. But the tone of the man's voice had indicated that he was angry about something.
"Harry!" Harry looked into the eyes of Sirius and remembered the song.
"Sirius-you were singing," the older man look startled at the teenagers statement and smiled softly.
"Yeah. Your mom used to sing that song all the time. I'm surprised you remembered it." Harry remembered why he sung it as he looked into Sirius's eyes.
"GET IN YOUR CUPBOARD!"
"Don't ask questions."
A small boy staring at the stars, crying. "Mommy! Please come back. I'm sorry!"
"You're parents hated you."
"BOY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME?"
Spit flying everywhere.
Blood.
Screams.
"Now I know why I don't remember," Harry didn't see the scared look in Sirius's eyes as his eyes slipped out of focus and he fell back unconscious for what seemed the zillionth time that week.
"Harry, come on. You can't keep falling unconscious. I'm bored outta my mind! I need somebody on my team for Quidditch besides Hermoine. Remind me to never let her try out for the house team, OK? She can't even fly half the time! She keeps falling off her broom and when she stays on it, she goes slower then a slug. Flying has got to be the one thing Hermione can never be taught," Ron was mostly talking to himself. Truth was, it was really boring and he was sick of not having his best friend around.
Harry laughed to himself as the words processed. He worked to open his eyes and as his glasses were put on, he was able to see clearly the half annoyed half relieved face of his best friend.
"Hey Ron," The raven haired boy grinned slightly and rubbed his head. Why did his scar hurt always hurt so much lately? He couldn't remember any dreams from the past few nights, but he knew they had to be bad if his scar hurt. Lost in his thoughts, Harry didn't even notice Sirius move forward.
He flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder. They withdrew quickly as if on fire and he kept his head down. He didn't want to remember anymore. This is why he had been brought to Ron's house. To be protected and get stronger. But right now, Harry felt so weak that he didn't feel like he would even be able to walk.
"Harry-" Sirius seemed to be trying to control himself. He was on the verge of an outburst. Obviously the man's temper couldn't be kept under control for long.
"Harry why don't you stop pretending?" Was he upset that the hero wasn't what he had expected? Harry braced himself for some insults, disappointment, or maybe even a hit. His scar stung stronger, he noted dully.
"Sirius-stop it." Remus could see the fear in Harry's eyes and desperately tried to make his friend shut-up for once.
"No. Harry, I can't believe you don't trust me!" A hand brought Harry's head around quickly towards the man so he was looking straight into Sirius's eyes. Harry's eyes went wide. If Sirius hated him the way Harry portrayed the scene, then he knew everyone was turning against him.
"No! Please," Harry's voice weakened as he got his head away from the hand and lowered it into his arms. Harry couldn't take it anymore; he was breaking. "Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me." The images of his deranged uncle flew before his eyes. He wouldn't be able to take anymore beatings. He was at his limit.
Nobody said a word. It was a silence that nobody even dared to breath into.
"Harry-I" Sirius didn't mean to. He wanted to hold the teenager and cry. But he felt like Harry had let himself get hurt and Sirius just didn't know why. And he couldn't stand seeing the boy so hurt that he hardly even talked anymore. What was going to happen? It was a question that Sirius found even Dumbledore couldn't answer.
Harry was crying, sobbing like a child by the time Sirius had regained his senses. Harry hadn't cried since before he could remember and he felt more vulnerable then ever. Harry knew it was dangerous and that's why he had never allowed himself this freedom before. He had to be strong for everyone, but deep down, he was too weak to carry the burden alone anymore. He just didn't know why. Did anybody?
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not the hero anymore." He had tried to pretend, tried to keep it all in, but he was cracking. The shell Harry had built around his emotions was broken. The shell had allowed Harry to feel strong yet empty. Now he was painfully full of emotions. Which was better? Through both, Harry had felt pain. The one emotion that had never gone away and the one emotion Harry knew best.
And the next thing Harry knew was that he was being hugged harder then he ever had before. He stopped crying suddenly and looked up, startled to see a mop of long black hair. Sirius was hugging him? Did that mean that he wasn't mad anymore? That Harry was again loved by the man who was closest to a father he had ever known?
"Harry, I'm so sorry." Sirius's voice was rough and tired. Harry didn't recognize it's sound. Sirius had always had a voice that was calm and reassuring most of the time. Sometimes worried, and sometimes angry. But now he heard a emotion in the voice that he had found only through the voice of Mrs. Weasly. Heartbreak.
"But Sirius- it's all my fault. It's always has been," Harry whispered. His godfathers embrace tightened and Harry felt the warmth of his breath. The breathing was unsteady, like the older man was crying. Harry didn't bother looking into his face, afraid of what he might find. Could Sirius actually cry because of what happened to him? Harry didn't believe someone would care that much.
Harry continued crying until he wore himself out and fell asleep in his godfather's protective arms. He didn't want to think right now.
A/N: Hm.... Strange. I hadn't really meant Harry to crack so early in the story. But, that doesn't mean that everything's ok. In fact, if people still like this story, I'm starting to think about what the sequel might be like.(yes, it might actually take a sequel to open up Harry just because....because I have something that'll help him). But if you people get annoyed and just want me to write THE END, then I guess I won't write a sequel.... ha..... I'm in a really strange mood right now, don't mind me. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to the reviewers of chapter 3:
Lady Foxfire: *Cracks an evil grin* I can be worse... hehe....
Alexz: I know that this isn't exactly soon....But here it is anywayz! Hope you liked it.
Sam: *Slowly backs away* Ok, don't freak out ok? Although I did enjoy the 4 'oh no's' But I'll letcha in on a little secret (Harry's in for a lot more then just not remembering)...I hope you keep liking the story and I'm sorry this took so long to get out!!(Btw: Sirius is sad, isn't he??? I'd much rather write a happy Sirius...but, oh well. Eventually I think).\
...Sam: Ok, I'm guessing that this is a different sam, so here it goes.:
Gosh, for being another Same you seem to have the same phrases, such as 'oh no.' *grins* I got 3 from you.. That makes 7 oh no's.. hm, I'm guessing I broke no record but it'd be funny if it did. I think we *all* could at some point want to kill Vernon... I just don't know how many would do it so violently... *backs up with hands in the air* If my next chapter takes long, is that what's going to happen to me?! (btw: maybe you could serve Vernon for dinner....never mind. That's disgusting.)