Faded Dreams, Falling Like Rain

A Final Fantasy VII Fan Fiction by Sarah Digna Yudlowitz

Dream . . .

Dream of death . . .

Dream of moonlight . . .

Legal Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all of its characters belong to the company of Squaresoft. I do not claim these characters or the concept of the game for my own. This work is not to be distributed, sold, or posted anywhere without the consent of its author. Comments and encouragements are always welcomed, as they are a part of the enjoyment of writing Fan fiction. Please take this into consideration while you read the following fiction.



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The Author's note: Yes, it's another pointless chapter. Don't you just love this crappy story? Does anyone? It's an unloved little story. Just like Cloud. Actually, Cloud is loved. Oh well. The Magickal Yaoi Faerie is here to tell you that there's a lot of shounen ai in this chapter. None of it is fluff, though. Thank Bahamut. *roaring is heard, and the author sweat drops*

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Chapter Nineteen







When Cloud fell asleep, he saw green makou eyes in his dreams, silver hair tumbling down all around him, and this is when he felt perfect bliss. Ghostly pale hands encircled him, and a low voice, beautiful and yet so ugly whispered things into his ears that he didn't know of, and that he didn't want to. Was that lighte the Lifestream? As quickly as he saw it, it faded away, and all he had to look at was glowing green makou eyes.







"Tell me what you want to tell me, Cloud," the voice came, full of amusement. His hands came dangerously near Cloud's throat, and something cold and hard pressed against it. Cloud panicked, but found that it turned him on even more. He traced his fingers over the other man's larger hands, ungloved, and he smiled bitterly.





"I'm not afraid to die, Sephiroth," Cloud whispered hoarsely, inhibited by the sword's proximity.





"Neither was I," Sephiroth countered, gruffly. The sword pressed harder, and Cloud felt his own blood trickle down into his chest.





"Aerith told me you changed," Cloud said, frowning, trying to pry Sephiroth's hands off him.





"She told me you changed as well. You were imagining me earlier tonight, weren't you? While Lilith tried to 'comfort' you?" Sephiroth's voice was like stony ice. It sent shivers up Cloud's spine. So did what he said.





"Why did you want to die?" Cloud frowned even more, avoiding his questioning.





"You know why, Cloud," Sephiroth breathed out, tossing the sword aside. It exploded in a white flame and Cloud closed his eyes from the blinding lighte, looking up quickly to catch a glimpse of Sephiroth face. He was smiling sadly. "Haven't you learned anything?"





"I just wanted to hear it from your own lips," Cloud fumbled for the right words, "I don't trust myself. Not after . . . what I did."







"Stop acting like a kid," Sephiroth snorted. "You're going to have to realize that you've grown up, sooner or later."





"You . . . really have changed, haven't you?" Cloud whispered, tracing his fingers on Sephiroth's lips. He stiffened a little, then leaned down to kiss Cloud, his long hair making feather light contact with Cloud's skin. When Sephiroth's head rose from Cloud's, he noticed the younger man's fool grin and arched an eyebrow.





"I've wanted you to do that since I was fourteen," Cloud laughed nervously. Sephiroth sighed heartily. "What?"





"They all say that."





"Oh . . .well, who can blame them? You were beautiful, even when I thought that made you so ugly."





"Those are the first words of wisdom you say to my face, Cloud Strife."





"Do you still think I'm a puppet?"





"In some ways," Sephiroth grinned. Cloud blinked.





"In . . . which ways?"





"Don't worry. It made you an amusing toy," Sephiroth slapped Cloud's face lightly, playfully. Cloud was confused.





"Sephiroth!"





"Yes, Cloud?"





"Stop playing with my mind!"





"You have to go soon, Cloud," Sephiroth's eyes dulled in color, and Cloud frowned, reaching out to touch him again. He felt Sephiroth's hand clamp around his wrist and push it back down. "Are you still ready to die?"





"Why can't I be with you?!" Cloud shouted.





"Because you belong on the Planet. It's not your time yet."





"They can fix up the Planet without me, can't they? Can't they?!!" Cloud shouted. Sephiroth held Cloud down, and wiped at the tears that threatened to roll down Cloud's cheeks. Cloud cried even more because Sephiroth was hurting his arms without even noticing he was. Even in death, he was stronger than Cloud would ever know.





"Cloud . . . when I told you to give me the black materia, what did you do?" Noticing that Cloud was calming down now, he loosened his grip.





". . . . I . . . gave it to you."







"If I had told you to kill yourself with your buster sword, would you have done it?"





"That's not fair . . . you were a part of Jen--" Cloud was cut off by a hard kiss.





"Do it, Cloud. You could use a little more wisdom before you join me in the Lifestream."





"Will you visit me like this often?" Cloud asked, hugging Sephiroth tightly. The older man allowed him to, but it made him slightly uncomfortable at first.





"No. I'm sorry, Cloud, but the Lifestream only allows one visit per spirit."





"What about Aerith? She's visited me twice!"





"Well, Aerith's a special little case," Sephiroth chuckled, "because she's helped the Planet in many ways. She was the last Cetra. When she saw what kind of damage Holy would do, she used Lifestream to her advantage. Now . . . Cloud . . . you must go, and I must atone for my sins.





"You sound like Vincent," Cloud scowled. "I hate that."





"You could learn a thing or two from that man, on what true love is. Lucrecia went against the Lifestream, and manifested as an opaque spirit before Vincent."





"Are you telling me that you love me?" Cloud squinted at Sephiroth, still only able to make out his eyes.





"You still have a lot to learn," Sephiroth said, his voice fading. Cloud tried to reach out to him, but Lifestream rushed up to meet him, Sephiroth's illuminated image drowned by the ever growing lighte. When Cloud woke up, his retinas were burning, and he felt somewhat less lonely. Even though Sephiroth hadn't said it, he knew he would be looking over him. Cloud remembered the first time he had met Sephiroth on the Shinra truck. He had been haughty and withdrawn, but he did realize that Cloud had motion sickness from reading on the truck. "Rookie mistake," he had said after defeating the mutated Dragon on the road. He had never been so embarrassed or . . . delighted. After all, it was directed to him. Zack had laughed at him. He didn't know why then, but he knew now. Maybe Sephiroth was right . . . that he should act his own age.

Then he remembered Lilith. A look to his side revealed that Lilith was nuzzled into the crook of his arm. He remembered what they had done . . . and whom he had imagined, and he blushed hotly. It hadn't been all that hard, with Lilith taking the initiative. He blushed even more. He had imagined large calloused sword hands . . . instead of Lilith's smaller ones. Her face had grown more angular, her eyes harder, her mouth tight, longer, amused. When she had kissed him, it was harder, more passionate than tender. And then those hands had traveled down his body, bringing him infinite pleasure. He even imagined how he smelled as he buried his face in Lilith's hair.

When he orgasmed, he looked into her eyes, seeing his. He felt sick. He quieted the urge to vomit again. He had been doing so much of that recently.





"Cloud?" Lilith whispered. He froze, and tears came to his eyes.





"You moaned his name last night, when . . . we . . ." her voice trailed off. That affirmed his horror, and he let the tears stream.





"I'm so sorry, Lilith," Cloud sobbed.





"You moaned his name in your sleep, too," she stated, matter-of-factly.





"I'm . . . "







"Yes, I know. You're sorry. It's okay," Lilith sighed, "I knew you would . . . replace me . . . with him. He's always been . . . more important than I." Lilith got up and started walking out of the room they had gone to. It was funny. She thought that she should feel like the one taken advantage of, but . . . spending that nighte with Cloud Strife had made her realize that she loved him, and he would never love her . . . only use her for how much she looked like her brother. Tears welled in her eyes, and Cloud grabbed her wrist.





"Last nighte shouldn't have happened," Cloud said lowly. But then he kissed her tenderly, lovingly. She pushed him away.





"Don't fucking kiss me unless you mean it," she hissed. That had surprised him . . . and herself.





"Lilith . . . I didn't picture him that time. I really do like you . . . and I want to get to know you more . . ." Cloud kissed her again, and this time she relented, letting Cloud pull her against him. It was at that time that Vincent decided to come out of his slumber, and into the hall.