A/N: This chapter is ready! Whaoo!! Enjoy!
Harry woke up as someone began to shake him. He coiled away instinctivly and felt the person stop shaking him.
"Harry?" The voice was raspy and hoarse, but he knew that voice. "Come, on buddy. I need you to wake up so I can talk to you." Harry opened one eye and found that his glasses were already on his face. He opened the other eye and found Sirius on one knee in front of him staring intently at him.
"Sirius? What's going on?" Harry wearily tried to sit up and failed. Sirius reached out and grabbed him under his arm to help him sit up.
"Do you think your up for a walk, kid?" Harry shrugged and Sirius helped him stand. They began walking slowly towards the door, Sirius holding Harry up by his arm.
They walked outside. It was so early that the sun was nowhere in sight. They began walking again and where walking for about 10 minutes before Sirius talked.
"Harry,"Sirius sat Harry down and did the same for himself. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over at the now yawning Harry.
"Harry I-I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," Harry looked over cautiously at his godfather. He opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius held up his hand.
"Please, let me finish, ok?" Harry nodded. "Harry, the first time I held you in my arms, I promised that if anything ever was to happen to your mother or father I would take care of you. I swore that nothing would keep me from that promise. You meant so much to all of us, kiddo. And to tell you the truth, I never thought a promise could hurt so much.
"When you woke up, I was exactly the thing you didn't need. I was mad, to tell you the truth. Not exactly mad at you," Sirius had read the worried expression on Harry's face. "But at myself. I let you get hurt, kiddo, and it kills me to know that.
So, I completely lost it when I saw you. I mean, seeing how hurt you were- kid, I just don't understand how you made it out alive." Sirius stopped for a moment, looking at Harry who was looking at the ground.
"I'm sorry that you've had to go through all this. No kid should ever have to live through what you have. I mean, even without the abuse. Fighting Voldermont, being wanted dead, not knowing who to trust. I couldn't live with it. So that makes you special, kiddo." Harry looked up at this, face emotionless.
"I can't be special," His face was hard and cold. He was done pretending. He wasn't going to keep it all inside anymore.
"Why not?"
"Because if I were special I never would have put you all through this. I would be stronger."
"Harry, stop. Don't shut everything out. Don't blame yourself for other people's mistakes. And I know that it's hard for you to understand this because your the one always getting the end of the mistakes, not making them. But, it isn't your fault Voldermont wanted to kill everyone. It isn't your fault that that man hurt you like he did. I want you to remember it isn't your fault," Sirius looked up at Harry who didn't move and was staring at the ground.
"Harry? Tell me you believe me when I say it isn't your fault," Sirius's voice was cracking and yet Harry still didn't move.
"It doesn't matter. I'm only here for one reason and that's to be the hero. Everybody's counting on me to be something I'm not. They think I have to beat everything and save them all. They don't understand, Sirius. And nobody loves me for me. They all love me for what I do and how I do it. I have to be the hero," Harry's face was hidden in the shadows of the darkened morning, head still hanging downwards.
Sirius pulled him into a hug, but Harry pulled away and retreated into the house.
Sirius stared after him, his face pale and shaken. Sirius had seen what abuse can do to a person. He remembered how someone so close to him had been hurt by their father only to retreat inside herself and not let anyone near.
*Flashback*
Sirius stared at the 15 year old girl in front of him. He was determined to find out why every summer she came back looking like a train ran over her.
"Lily! I want the truth! Did your father do this to you?" Sirius took a step forward as Lily took one back.
"It doesn't matter Sirius! I deserve it!" Lily was crying now, but her tears were wiped away furiously, her anger taking over.
"Lily, you know we all love you. I love you like a sister," Sirius watched her face turn cold.
"Sirius, the only love I've known was the beatings I got from my father," Lily sat down on the chair and held her head in her hands, quietly shaking.
"Lils, please, will you talk to me about it?" Lily snapped her head up and shook her head frantically.
"I can't Sirius. You wouldn't understand."
*End of flashback*
Sirius remembered feeling like someone had dropped a cold ice bucket over his head when she had said that. And when Harry had moved away from his hug, he had felt hte same thing. Sirius just hoped that what Lily went through wouldn't be the same for Harry.
A/N: Dun dun dun.......anybody expect me to add that in there?! Hope you all like this chapter and please please please please please please please please please please please review!!!! Oh, and I'm thinking about starting another story about Lily's life. Tell me whatcha think.
Comentario!!(spanish for review--thanks weird)
I would like to thank the reviewers of chapter 8:
StorySpindler: Hehe...guess it could get more depressing, huh? It'll probably be like this for a little while. But not for forever. I promise.
RedRasberry: Speechless, huh? Hope you can talk soon again :). I know, I do know the difference, but I'm usually too lazy to go back and check all my errors. Haha.
RadiantMoonWolf: Glad you like the story and thanks for reviewing again!
LittleEar BigEar's sis: (BTW: I like your name) Thanks!!
Nexus: Thank you. I spent a while trying to figure out how to make Remus react. He's a pretty cool character, huh?
Sakura Blossom: Glad you liked it and i hope you liekd this chapter.
Sam: Hey again!(both of you) I think this chapter was longer, I'm not sure. If it isn't sorry....*grins* no fighting with each other on the computer. Haha! An insane person?! Well, I dunno about that. But maybe in another sense. And Draco is-ah- little different in this story. Some things are gonna start to happen soon. Hang in there.
Ashes: Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Weird: LoL. Love your review. Thanks so much. (Especially for the help in spanish ;) )
Keep reading, ok? And tell me what you think.
That's it everyone. I'm outta here until next time.
~Corie
Harry woke up as someone began to shake him. He coiled away instinctivly and felt the person stop shaking him.
"Harry?" The voice was raspy and hoarse, but he knew that voice. "Come, on buddy. I need you to wake up so I can talk to you." Harry opened one eye and found that his glasses were already on his face. He opened the other eye and found Sirius on one knee in front of him staring intently at him.
"Sirius? What's going on?" Harry wearily tried to sit up and failed. Sirius reached out and grabbed him under his arm to help him sit up.
"Do you think your up for a walk, kid?" Harry shrugged and Sirius helped him stand. They began walking slowly towards the door, Sirius holding Harry up by his arm.
They walked outside. It was so early that the sun was nowhere in sight. They began walking again and where walking for about 10 minutes before Sirius talked.
"Harry,"Sirius sat Harry down and did the same for himself. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over at the now yawning Harry.
"Harry I-I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," Harry looked over cautiously at his godfather. He opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius held up his hand.
"Please, let me finish, ok?" Harry nodded. "Harry, the first time I held you in my arms, I promised that if anything ever was to happen to your mother or father I would take care of you. I swore that nothing would keep me from that promise. You meant so much to all of us, kiddo. And to tell you the truth, I never thought a promise could hurt so much.
"When you woke up, I was exactly the thing you didn't need. I was mad, to tell you the truth. Not exactly mad at you," Sirius had read the worried expression on Harry's face. "But at myself. I let you get hurt, kiddo, and it kills me to know that.
So, I completely lost it when I saw you. I mean, seeing how hurt you were- kid, I just don't understand how you made it out alive." Sirius stopped for a moment, looking at Harry who was looking at the ground.
"I'm sorry that you've had to go through all this. No kid should ever have to live through what you have. I mean, even without the abuse. Fighting Voldermont, being wanted dead, not knowing who to trust. I couldn't live with it. So that makes you special, kiddo." Harry looked up at this, face emotionless.
"I can't be special," His face was hard and cold. He was done pretending. He wasn't going to keep it all inside anymore.
"Why not?"
"Because if I were special I never would have put you all through this. I would be stronger."
"Harry, stop. Don't shut everything out. Don't blame yourself for other people's mistakes. And I know that it's hard for you to understand this because your the one always getting the end of the mistakes, not making them. But, it isn't your fault Voldermont wanted to kill everyone. It isn't your fault that that man hurt you like he did. I want you to remember it isn't your fault," Sirius looked up at Harry who didn't move and was staring at the ground.
"Harry? Tell me you believe me when I say it isn't your fault," Sirius's voice was cracking and yet Harry still didn't move.
"It doesn't matter. I'm only here for one reason and that's to be the hero. Everybody's counting on me to be something I'm not. They think I have to beat everything and save them all. They don't understand, Sirius. And nobody loves me for me. They all love me for what I do and how I do it. I have to be the hero," Harry's face was hidden in the shadows of the darkened morning, head still hanging downwards.
Sirius pulled him into a hug, but Harry pulled away and retreated into the house.
Sirius stared after him, his face pale and shaken. Sirius had seen what abuse can do to a person. He remembered how someone so close to him had been hurt by their father only to retreat inside herself and not let anyone near.
*Flashback*
Sirius stared at the 15 year old girl in front of him. He was determined to find out why every summer she came back looking like a train ran over her.
"Lily! I want the truth! Did your father do this to you?" Sirius took a step forward as Lily took one back.
"It doesn't matter Sirius! I deserve it!" Lily was crying now, but her tears were wiped away furiously, her anger taking over.
"Lily, you know we all love you. I love you like a sister," Sirius watched her face turn cold.
"Sirius, the only love I've known was the beatings I got from my father," Lily sat down on the chair and held her head in her hands, quietly shaking.
"Lils, please, will you talk to me about it?" Lily snapped her head up and shook her head frantically.
"I can't Sirius. You wouldn't understand."
*End of flashback*
Sirius remembered feeling like someone had dropped a cold ice bucket over his head when she had said that. And when Harry had moved away from his hug, he had felt hte same thing. Sirius just hoped that what Lily went through wouldn't be the same for Harry.
A/N: Dun dun dun.......anybody expect me to add that in there?! Hope you all like this chapter and please please please please please please please please please please please review!!!! Oh, and I'm thinking about starting another story about Lily's life. Tell me whatcha think.
Comentario!!(spanish for review--thanks weird)
I would like to thank the reviewers of chapter 8:
StorySpindler: Hehe...guess it could get more depressing, huh? It'll probably be like this for a little while. But not for forever. I promise.
RedRasberry: Speechless, huh? Hope you can talk soon again :). I know, I do know the difference, but I'm usually too lazy to go back and check all my errors. Haha.
RadiantMoonWolf: Glad you like the story and thanks for reviewing again!
LittleEar BigEar's sis: (BTW: I like your name) Thanks!!
Nexus: Thank you. I spent a while trying to figure out how to make Remus react. He's a pretty cool character, huh?
Sakura Blossom: Glad you liked it and i hope you liekd this chapter.
Sam: Hey again!(both of you) I think this chapter was longer, I'm not sure. If it isn't sorry....*grins* no fighting with each other on the computer. Haha! An insane person?! Well, I dunno about that. But maybe in another sense. And Draco is-ah- little different in this story. Some things are gonna start to happen soon. Hang in there.
Ashes: Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Weird: LoL. Love your review. Thanks so much. (Especially for the help in spanish ;) )
Keep reading, ok? And tell me what you think.
That's it everyone. I'm outta here until next time.
~Corie